Smitten-My 16 year old nee nee my nee new. Although you had 4 siblings, you know you were my #1 ok? You were my first baby of your 4 siblings and I always whispered that to you so you never forgot! Always always always by my side, following me around the house begging for "meats" all day long, the house seems so quiet without you. I swear you were more of a dog then your 2 dog siblings! Speaking of which, your brother Kokanee misses you just as much as I do. He adored you. Who would have thought a 10 lb chihuahua/poodle/Pomeranian would become BFFs forever and ever with an 18lb Maine Coon! Lol too cute! It's been 8 days since you left us and I can't stop breaking down in tears. Everything happened so fast I still can't get out of this state of shock you're gone. You were fine! Then a little tired one day and your vet check up came with a near perfect clean bill of health other then a slightly higher blood sugar. How did you pass two days later? Seeing you struggle those two days made my heart break. Being a nurse I just wanted to do something right away to help you when it seemed like you were having a stroke. The look in your eyes broke my heart to pieces. As if you weren't there. Then to see you struggle to walk and appear confused was my worste nightmare. I kept hoping it would pass but when you began panting I just knew it was the end. I've never cried so much in my life. I knew this day would come. I'd always tell myself and my family " I don't know what I'm going to do one day when smitten is gone". I'd joke with your dad that with the extra money we made on selling our home in a good market that we should clone you! Lol just because I couldn't ever imagine myself li I feel without you. But deep down I know that wouldn't be the same. Everyday since you left us I keep feeling like I'm never going to get over you not being here with us. My tears won't stop and I just wish this nightmare would pass. I miss having my little shadow winking at me and with your big beautiful eyes. I miss holding you like a baby and kissing you a million times on the bridge of your nose. I miss telling you I'd always protect you oookaaay?! 16 years of being by my side through college, through horrible breakups, nursing school, my first career, meeting your dad, moving across the country and gaining 4 siblings and you remained by my side, my loyal #1. The "Brad Pitt of cats" per your grandma who previously disliked cats (how is she my mother lol). Everyone who got to meet you would say " wow what a beautiful cat" or "I'm not usually a cat person but he's really cute". And boy you knew it! I keep trying to be strong for your siblings because they can feel and sense my pain, they are in pain as well. I'm just happy you didn't suffer for long my nee nee. The only thing that gets me through this is knowing we will meet again one day. Love you.

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