July 11th, 2017:|
My Sweet Luci,
I came across this site last night while doing a search hoping I could find some help coping with the sadness I feel. Next week it will be two months; I feel so sad & so alone. I miss you so much. I can't bring myself to tell your story right now, but I wanted to create this memorial for you, my Beautiful Boy. Mami loves her Baby so much. I will come back to tell your story when I'm feeling a little stronger. In the meantime, if you can, please come visit me in my dreams. I need you. I love you. So much.
I am having such a hard time. I know when I created this memorial for you I said I'd be back to tell your story when I was feeling stronger. As the days have gone by, I don't feel stronger, I don't feel less sad, I miss you just like the first day. Maybe I won't be able to share your story anytime soon, but maybe that's ok for now; you and I know our story, and maybe that is all that matters. I love you so much, my Chichi; I feel like I can't find my place in the world, and it's just that I want my place in the world to continue being the same that it's been for the past fifteen years: to be your mom, to take care of you, to love you. I feel lost without you, my sweet Angel. Please let me feel you close to me. Please don't leave mami solita. Mami loves you so much, Bebe Lindo.
Hi My Chichi,
I love you Papa Lindo. I think about you every day, and I talk to you every day, just like I used to, remember? I miss you so much. No one else can fill the hole in my heart.
Hi My Luci,
Today I am feeling particularly sad. I think it may be because the one year anniversary since you went to live in Heaven is fast approaching. Also, the jasmine in the yard has started to bloom, and the scent brings back so many memories of when we used to walk around the yard together. Gosh, this is so hard. I am heartbroken. I would give anything to see you again, even if just for a couple of minutes, just to see you, to pick you up and give you a hug and a kiss on your little forehead, the way I used to, remember? I was walking around the yard a little while ago, and I kept remembering how much fun we used to have playing with your little squeaky ball. Chichi, I wonder if I will ever stop crying, I don't think so... I love you so much.
Hi My Lucito,
How are you my Chichi? I just renewed your Rainbow Bridge Residency, and it triggered this huge wave of sadness... it's been a year since I created your Residency, and I guess anything that reminds me of the passage of time makes me feel so so sad... You are alive in my memories and in my heart, but I miss your physical presence so much... so much it makes my heart ache. My love for you will never diminish, it will always burn bright. I love you so much.