Shy, I will never forget the day I found you, your brother and mother. It was pouring down rain early that morning and you and your brother were too small to be out. I got out of my car and called and both of you came running and huddled down in the ditch at my feet. I scooped you both up and placed you in my car. I then walked out to get your mother. We soon learned that you and your brother were total opposites. Harley was confident and rambunctious while you were timid and shy. That's why we called you ShyAnne. For 4 years, you were my baby girl. You depended on me to love and protect you and God I let you down. I would do anything to change this and have you safe with me again. Please forgive me for not being there to protect you. Please know that I will always love you and you will always be "my baby girl"!!!!|
It has been 8 months now since you were so abruptly taken from me. It still breaks my heart to remember how I let you down. If I had only let you in, that morning, when you had wanted to come in, you would still be with me now. Your daddy made you a beautiful headstone for your grave and we visit it often. But baby, I know you aren't there, in the ground. You are running free and happy at Rainbow Bridge. I hope you have made a lot of good friends. Please know that you will always be in my heart, no matter how much time passes. I can see your face in my mind as if you were still here. You made such an impact on me and my life. I can never forgive myself for not keeping you safe. Please forgive me bAby girl, and know that I will always love you!!
It has now been almost a year since you were taken from me. And I love you and wish you were still here with me. Your brothers and sisters are doing okay but they miss you as well. With your passing, I have decided to create a Rainbow Bridge Memorial Wall here at home. Your photograph was the first placed on the wall. But last year, we also lost your big sis Kasi. I miss you terribly and have not been able to erase the image of your laying in the yard the Sunday you died. That image will haunt me until my dying day. But your senseless death has taught me to be extremely careful with your brothers and sisters. I'm sorry it took your death to make me see. I am so very sorry for not being there to protect you. I hope you can forgive your mama and feel how much I will always love you!!!
Today is the anniversary of your death and its still so hard to accept your death. Even with the 17 brothers and sisters that you still have here, the void you left in our home and in my heart is so very apparent. You are missed more than I can explain. But you made such a huge imprint on my life. Your unconditional love and complete trust were mine while you were here and I would give anything to have another chance to be worthy of you. Please, please forgive me for failing to keep you safe and from harm. If I had known what would happen, I would have done anything to prevent it. I love you, baby girl and always will!! Mama will see you soon!!
My darling ShyAnne, today is the anniversary of your death and I miss you very much!! The weather is cold and rainy here so I don't get outside much. But I ride by your grave every morning and your face comes to my mind as clear as if you were still here with me. I miss your quiet ways and the way you always looked up at me with those loving eyes. Unconditional love shone brightly in your eyes and I miss that badly. Your presence will always be felt here at home as well as in my heart. I let you down my baby girl and the pain of knowing that will be with me forever!! I love you my darling Shy baby and look forward to the day I will see those bright shining eyes again!! Until then, I love you baby girl!!
Shy baby, it has now been more than 4 years since I lost my baby girl. The pain still overwhelms me when I look at your pictures or visit your grave. The hole in my heart is almost too big to bear. I will never forgive myself for letting you down and for not protecting you. So much has changed in the last four years, the house, the babies who live here with me. But you will forever be a presence here in every inch of this house. There are memories of you in every room. Some bring joy to my heart while others bring pain. I relive the day you died over and over in my mind and a piece of my heart breaks with each thought. Of all the babies I have had come and go from my life, there never has and never will be a larger heart or kinder soul than yours. I'll see you again someday Shy baby and I will hold you in my arms forever! I love you baby girl!!!