Shiva was so tiny and so full of personality. The sweetest little man I've ever known. We spend most days together doing ordinary things and some really fun things too. But always you were there for me. No matter how bad the days were as long as you were there with me they were good days. When I was with you I was never alone. You brought so much joy to my life. Everybody loved you. That adorable face and all those kisses nobody could resist. You had this funny thing about kids. I never knew if you really liked them or they scared you but whenever they came running by you would bark like crazy. I never understood why you did that. But if they were still and sat with you you soaked it up and really had fun with them. You liked going to the lake. You would walk in the water, lay down with your head protruding from the water and just lay there. It was so cute and other people thought so too. You also believed you were much bigger than you really were. You were only 3 1/2 lbs! So I needed to be viligant to protect you when maybe you didn't think you needed to be protected. That was my job as your Mom. In the end I couldn't save you from this horrible kidney failure. I am so sorry and full of guilt I didn't know sooner. I never wanted you to leave. I thought I had so much more time with you. The hardest thing I've done in so many years was letting you go so you didn't have to suffer. I couldn't do that to you. Even if it meant saying goodbye. I've cried many many tears missing you and wishing you were still here enjoying your life and giving me all those sweet kisses. So now all I have are those sweet memories and the love in my heart that will remain forever. I love you now and will love you forever. Until we meet again my dear little man Shiva❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Mom
Dear Shiva. Christmas has come and gone and this whole year I have missed you with a broken heart waiting to mend. There isn't a day that goes by that I'm not thinking about you and how much you are missed. Keep thinking I should be moving on. We did everything together and I'm not very happpy without you. I hope you know how much your Mom loves you and wishes you were still with me. I tell our story to people in my life and I know they feel bad for me but they really can't understand how much we needed each other. You were more than just a dog to me. You were my baby and I was suppose to protect you and keep you safe and well. I still don't believe I did enough and not sure how to reconcile all that.