03/16/2014 - It has been 6 days since you left us Sarina and up until now, I was so sad and ached so much that I could not write anything to you my little girl. I remember the day that you first came into our lives with your two sisters. I found the three of you in my window well when you were about five weeks old. I remember how cute and cuddly you were then and I find peace in those memories. You loved to rest in the sun in the Florida room and eating was your favorite pastime. Oh! how you loved to be groomed. You would purr so sweetly as I brushed your coat and clipped your nails.You loved to sleep on my lap and would stay as long as I would let you. It is hard to believe that you would have been 17 years old in May. God gave you to us as a gift and now he has called you home my sweet angel. |
It was a week ago today Sunday (March 9, 2014) when you began to cry out with pain. We knew that your kidneys were failing and we dreaded the day that you would succumb and be gone from this life. You suffered all day at first trying to get to your food bowl to eat only to have your body collapse. I gave you fluids under your skin to try to help jump start your kidneys and you never even tried to fight me off because you were so weak. The fluids helped to make you comfortable and you fell asleep in my arms. I prayed for a miracle but that was not to be. I then prayed that you would pass from this life in your sleep but that was not to be either. I fed you with syringes and you so gratefully took the food at first. You never missed a meal my angel as food was your comfort. But the next day, you turned away from the food and I knew then that it was only a matter of time. You spent your last day in the hospital as I hoped that the vet could get your kidneys to work once again but that was not to be. I yearned to hold you that entire day but they were working feverishly to try to help you. Finally, On Tuesday (March 11, 2014) your body temperature began to drop. I came to visit you and hold you for the last time, my love, and then we let you go from this life to Rainbow Bridge. I held you and told you that I loved you the entire time that Dr Lindsey was helping me to let you go. I stroked your head and kissed your nose until you breathed your last breath and then I stayed with you until your spirit left the room. I know that you are now happy, healthy and whole once again and that there is no more pain for you.
Your sisters Tabitha and Samantha are looking for you as the three of you have never been separated since birth. At first, they stopped eating but now they are eating and drinking again. When I enter the house, they always seem to look behind me as if they are expecting to see you. It is hard for them to understand that you are not coming back to them. But they are adjusting slowly as both your Dad and I are. Your brother Buttons also misses you. He is confused and having several accidents on the carpets since you are gone. You were the glue that held everyone here together. We miss you so my love. Tomorrow,(Monday, March 17) I will go to pick up your ashes and bring you home. It is going to be really difficult to do that but I want you back here with us and I think that we will all settle down once you are back home. I am sure that by now you have been greeted by Fudgie, Shadow, and Champ. I am sure that Champ was the first to find you as you all were together before he crossed over the Rainbow Bridge. Give them kisses from me. I Love you to the moon and back! Be free my love on Rainbow Bridge until the time comes when we will meet again.
03/19/2014 - I finally went to the veterinary hospital to pick up your ashes. It was very difficult to see that you were in a box and that I would never hold you again. It was another tear-filled moment my love. But I realized something today. I know that you are now free of pain and that you are having a blast running in the meadows at Rainbow Bridge. I realize that I must take comfort in that and in the thought that we will be together once again when we meet on Rainbow Bridge. Letting you go was the most selfless act of love that I could give you as your body was filled with pain. At first, I did not think that my sweet love. But now, I have taken comfort in that thought and also realize that you would not want me to be tearful every day without you. You are finally free. I know how much you loved the grass and the tress and the flowers. So be free my love until we meet again. You are forever loved!
03/11/2015 - I finally am able to visit you my love. It was one year ago today that you went to Rainbow Bridge. Forgive me for not being able to visit you here but it was just too difficult for your mom to bear. I miss you every day as I look into your special places and do not see you there. At first, my love, it would bring tears to my eyes but now it brings smiles to my face to remember you basking in the sun. You always loved the sun and I know that you are running and playing in the sun on Rainbow Bridge and having a blast with all your new found friends. By Now, you have met Fudgy, Shadow, and Champ and I am certain that you are enjoying being with them. I also know that Litho is there with you. She left for Rainbow Bridge a week before you did and she was Karen's baby.
The holidays (Christmas and New Years) were hard to get through especially when I unpacked the Christmas stockings and found your stocking there. I paused and held it tightly for a moment missing you so very much. I kept the stocking in the box my love because I did not have the heart to throw it away. I remember with joy how you loved your new Christmas toys.
It is difficult to believe that it has been a year since you left for Rainbow Bridge. I am now not crying every day missing you but I smile knowing that you are free from the pain that racked your body in your last days here on earth. Your sisters Samantha and Tabitha have stopped looking for you and they have adjusted to being without you. Tabitha is a sloppy groomer as you groomed her all the time so I am forever pulling out matted fur. Samantha and Tabitha sleep on different ends of the house now that you are gone. When you were here my love, they used to sleep with you. So, life has changed. Buttons has settled down and is not having any more accidents on the carpet. By no means am I minimizing your loss. It is just that life has a different rhythm now. I miss you every day and I take consolation in knowing that one day we will be together again when my time on this earth is done. Until that day comes, my love, be free on Rainbow Bridge. Enjoy the flowers and the meadows and the sun and know that I love you always.