My precious little man, I remember so well the first time I saw you. It was pouring rain two weeks before Christmas. We were driving home from the grocery store and decided to take an alternate route that day. I am so glad that we did. Because there you were, running down the middle of the highway! We stopped the car and quickly rescued you from the swerving cars. You rested in my arms snuggling like you knew you were home. You were so small, undernourished and I saw immediately that you were missing an eye. I loved you from the moment I saw you. We took you home and introduced you to Nikki, my angel, who licked your little face and became your sister right away. She began mothering you and lay down next to you to keep you warm while I prepared a warm bath and blankets for you. I thought at the time that I would not be able to keep you because you were a pedigreed ShihTzu and I knew you had a home somewhere, but no tags. We took you to our vet who cared for you until I could bring you home. You had so many problems, fractured bones, several teeth had to be removed and you were near death at that time. We posted your picture all over the state trhough every vet's office we could find and sent your picture to every major newspaper in the state. There were many calls to give you a home but no one was your owner. We brought you home from the vet on Christmas Eve. You made your bed under the Christmas tree and that is where you chose to sleep until we took down the tree. I adopted you on New Year's Day and that became your birthday because I don't know when you were born or where you came from, except that God sent you to me. If I had not gone a different route that cold, rainy day, I would not have found you. You immediately became my little man, and brother for my precious Nikki, who is with you now.She has been waiting for you having gone on before in April 2006. My baby, you have been through so much in your little life. The vet said you probably had been abused and thrown out by a passing motorist. You have had cancer and survived it for three years. Now, the cancer won out. You had such heart and determination to live. You survived much longer than anyone thought you would. My heart is broken again for the second time in three years. I treasured your beautiful smile and that one big beautiful blue eye. You became blind last year but that did not stop you. You adjusted so well. I cannot believe that you are gone. I awoke this morning to take you for your walk before I went to school as I did every morning. I do not know what I am going to do without you. You provided such comfort for me when we lost Nikki. I know you have been grieving for her and never got over her death. The day she died, you did not eat for four days and you have never barked since that day. I truly believe that if you could have joined her that day, you would have. You have been sad over losing her as I have been. I will never get over losing her just as I will never get over losing you. I cannot bear this pain. I struggled to keep you alive for the past three years. You have had so many episodes and each time I thought I was losing you. But last night, I know in my heart that you were asking me to let you go. You were so weak that you couldn't stand, yet made an effort for me. I hugged you and asked if you were ready to go and you wagged your tail and snuggled into my arms and breathed one last breath. I thank God for you because you were truly a gift from Him. I hope you know how very much I loved you and I will always love you. You so loved the beach and chasing sea gulls and splashing in the water even after you became blind. These last few months you could barely walk ten feet but you tried so hard. The only peace I will know now is that you are with your beloved Nikki and the two of you can care for each other until I come for you both.Please be happy now that you are with her again, but know that I will miss you terribly. I love you forever, my little man.I have so many wonderful memories of you, but what I remember most is that you and Nikki were inseparable. The two of you slept together, played with each others' toys and shared everything. She so loved you as much as you loved her. I remember all the fun walks we took while you were able to walk and run. Thank you my love for trying to stay on earth to comfort me. But I do realize that you were getting very tired and the effort was too much. I knew I would have to let you go one day, but I prayed for miracles for you every day of my life. There will never be another furbaby like you, that is for sure. Your personality was the sweetest that I have seen. You were so loving, giving and sharing. I will miss all our special times together like you sitting next to me all the while that I worked no matter how long I was working. When I came home, you made every effort to get up, wagging your tail, happy that I was home. I will be home one day to get you and Nikki and we will never be separated again. I love you and send you hugs and kisses with my tears. You even tried to lick away my tears last night.Rest now my love.Always remember Mommy loves you forever.|
My sweet angel, I hope you and your sister, Nikki, are playing together and that you are now able to run and play. My heart was breaking for you these past three years watching as you could no longer play, see or enjoy the many activities you so loved, like chasing sea gulls, squirrels and running as fast as you could through a meadow. You fought harder than anyone I have ever seen. You amazed the doctors with your strong will power. And, as I sit looking through photo albums and remembering when I first found you and going through the years, I know that you were hanging on for me. I don't know too many people who can attest to such a strong devotion. There were so many days during this last year that I carried you for walks because you were unable to walk, but you so loved the outdoors. You always seemed to perk up each day when we went for our walk. I love you so much my little man. I just cannot believe that you are not with me. You wanted to be in the room with me no matter what I was doing. Remember how you loved to be in the kitchen while I cooked, hoping for an accidental drop of something tasty? Each year at Christmas time, you preferred to sleep under the tree ever since that first night that you slept in our home for the first time. Well, I will put up that tree this year and make your bed under it in case you want to visit. I am preparing your memorial next to Nikki's. When your ashes are returned to me, the two of you will sleep at home side by side like always. Your spirit is in heaven, I know, with Nikki, but at least I will have a part of you to keep with me always. I have beautiful precious memories that will be in my heart forever. I miss you so very much. I'm still getting up every hour or so to check on you, but you are not in your bed, I remember and the pain cluthes my heart like a vice.
December 25, 2009
Good morning my precious baby. Today is Christmas and it is very sad for me because you have not been here to sleep under the tree like you did from the first Christmas with us. You were not here to wake up this morning to tear into your presents and have a special breakfast. All I have are the memories of you sleeping so peacefully under the tree and tearing into your presents. You so loved to tear up the paper and get the bows stuck on you. I have so many wonderful memories of all the Christmases that you were with us. You were so happy then. You would run and play with Nikki and roll over and over on the torn paper. As when I lost Nikki, Christmas will never be the same again. I have not gotten over her death and I won't ever get over yours either. You were not ever a pet to me, you were my baby boy. Nikki was my baby girl. How does one get over losses like this? I don't think it is possible. One thing I do know is that you are not alone in heaven today. You are with God and you have your sister by your side. I want to remember you today as you were all those wonderful days when you could run and play, barking and happy and having such a wonderful time. If you had lived until today, I know you would not have been able to run and play because you were so sick, but I could have held you and sung to you as I did so many times. I miss you so very much, my little man. My heart is breaking. Your birthday is coming up in a few days and again my heart will break. I will always love you. Love, Mommy
January 1, 2010
Hello my precious angel. Today is the date we chose to give you for a birthdate since we did not know when you were born. We chose January 1st because not only is it the beginning of a new year, but we chose it because it was a new beginning for you and for us. It was a new beginning for you because after we found you near death just before Christmas, we thought it only fitting that you begin your new life in a new year with parents who would love you and care for you as if you had always been our own precious little man. So, happy birthday my love. I miss you so very much. I bought a birthday present for you and got you a little cake like I have done since I found you. You were a gift from God to me. I will always celebrate your birthday. Your present is placed at your memorial. I love you so much and I miss you so much. I hope you are having a great day with Nikki and with God. My heart hurts so much, sometimes I can't breathe for the pain of losing you. I wish I could have kept you with me forever. Now, I will have to wait until God calls me home to see you again. Until then my baby, please know that I love you dearly and think of you everyday.I will someday watch you run and play like a funny healthy puppy. I know you are all well now and for that I am happy, I just wish I could have made you well. I love you always and forever. Love,
July 20, 2010
Hi my precious little man. I am so sorry that I have not written to you in seven months. It is unforgivable. It doesn't matter what my schedule was and how sick I have been, it is still no excuse not to write to you. One consolation is that I have your urn, your memorial right along side Nikki's in my office where I spend the majority of my time. I can look up from work and see your beautiful, smiling face looking back at me. I miss you so very much. I wanted you to live long enough to see me graduate, but you know what, I had you with me in spirit and I was wearing the bracelet that is a tribute to you and Nikki. I always wear it to keep you and your sister close at hand. I loved you so much. You had such a beautiful smile and to this day, whenever I walk into the house, I expect to see you coming to greet me with that big smile and wagging your tail. Even in the last days, you managed to crawl out of your bed to greet me when you heard the key in the door. I hope you know how much you meant to me and what joy you brought to my life. I can only hope that I brought joy to your life. Like Nikki, you will always have a special place in my heart that that can only be filled by you. I so miss you. I saw your little friend, Annie, yesterday and her mom. They miss you too and send their love to you. I am going to work on a video of you and Nikki and put the two of you on your own special website. I want the world to see how precious you were. Your little brother and sister miss you too. I still have not moved your bed and favorite pillow. It is the oddest thing, but both your brother and sister sometimes will sleep in your bed or on your pillow and they will play with your toys, but they will not take them away from your room. It's like they know these are your things and they don't try to carry them into the other parts of the house. I hope you are playing with your sister every day and running around like you did when you were a puppy. I wish I could see you in perfect health and 100% whole. Well, someday I will. I thought for awhile, that it would be sooner than we anticipated, but it is not to be. One day though, I will be coming to get you and Nikki. Until then my sweet angel, I want you to remember how much you meant to me and how much I loved you. Play, rest and watch for me.
November 12, 2010
My precious fur baby. I miss you so very much. It is one year today, in fact, right now as I am writing to you today, it is almost to the minute today one year ago that you drew your last breath in my arms. You were so sick and for months you could not even raise your head. That day, you lifted your head and gave me a kiss, sighed and went to sleep. I know that you were telling me good bye. You are with me every day in spirit because as I sit in our room where you sat with me every day, I am comforted by your spirit being here with me. This was your room, particularly in the last 6 months of your life. Every day when I came home from work, you greeted me. You struggled to get out of your bed, even in the end. I still look for you when I open the door. Your room is the first room I go to when I come home. Somehow, I'm expecting you to greet me.
I have your urn next to Nikki's along with some of your favorite toys. I can still smell your sweet scent on them. I am still mourning for you and will continue to do so for quite some time to come. It has taken four years for me to begin to heal from losing Nikki, and that is still going to take a while. I have let her go so that I can mourn for you in the proper manner. It is not fair that I had to lose both of you at all. You were such amazing babies. The world was a better place having both of you in it. I was a better person having you as my baby to care for.
I loved you so much my little man. You were so much comfort to me when Nikki died, even though you were mourning her too. I know you never got over losing her. I truly believe that is why you became so ill. I will always love you my precious angel. One day, I will come for both of you and we will run and play together again. You can chase birds and splash in the water and roll in the sand as much as you want. Don't forget me and remember that I still love you with all my heart. One comfort is that I know you are with your sister who you loved so much. Rest and grow stronger every day and watch over your little brother and sister.
January 2, 2011
Good morning my precious baby.
I did not celebrate Christmas this year at home. I did not celebrate New Year's. However, I did not forget you or your birthday. Happy Birthday my little man. We really don't know when your true birthday is, but we always celebrated you with the new year. You were such a blessing to us. You were a true gift from God. It is still so very painful to think of your passing. I wish I could have extended your life. I love you sweet Sam and I miss you every day. I met a tiny Shih Tzu puppy last week and I bet you were just like her when you were a puppy. I did not meet you until you were about 4 years old, but you were still just as sweet and cute. I have never met a fur baby with the personality that you had. You were the sweetest little guy and so adorable with your precious face. God allowed me to care for you for 8 years and I will always be grateful for those memories. Remember that I will always love you and I will never forget you. You have a special place in my heart. Stay close to Nikki and I will come for you someday. I will always think of you every day and love you forever. Mommy
November 11, 2011
Sam, my precious little man. Today is the anniversary of your passing into Rainbow Bridges. I write to you every week in your journal. I have missed you so much. Even though I have not written to you here, your memorial is right here in my room and I talk to you every day. I hope you know how very much I loved you and still do. I hold dear so many memories of you. Every time I pass the beach, I remember how much you enjoyed it and chasing the sea gulls and pelicans. You loved to run in the sand and sniff all the neat smells of the beach. I try to hold on to those happy memories and not the ones of you being so sick and in pain. Everyone tells me I should have let you go before I did, but I could not. People who do not have fur babies simply do not understand that I would have moved heaven and earth to prolong your life if I could keep you comfortable. A Mother's love is strong indeed. You and Nikki were my children in my eyes. You were never treated like pets. You were my hairy, furry babies. Remember how I would sneak you and Nikki into hotels? It was so funny. People thought I had two babies wrapped up in blankets. You sure minded better than most human children. I miss you so much. My heart has not yet begun to heal. I have tried. I have just begun to heal somewhat for Nikki. It just takes time. I am so grateful and thankful that God allowed me to care for you as long as I could. I don't think you are too sad because you have your precious sister to look after you. I know you wanted to be with her. And, when you let me know it, I let you go. It was so painful for me but I know you needed to go. My baby, I hope you have a wonderful life, free from pain, able to see and play with Nikki and your new friends. I dream of the day when I can come to heaven and get the two of you. I will always love you and think of you daily. I love you more than anyone knows. Watch over your brother and sister here on earth when I am away. They loved you too. I send a giant hug and many kisses your way. Love forever, Mommy.
December 25, 2011
Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to you my precious little man. I love you so much and I miss you terribly. I celebrated a little this year mostly because of Alyssa, my granddaughter. The two Yorkies liked their presents and they enjoyed them. trying to take each other's present like you and Nikki used to. I miss so much how you enjoyed tearing into your presents and getting the bows stuck on you and running around playing. You would slide on the wrapping paper and jump in and out of boxes. I think you enjoyed the wrappings as much or more than your toys. I have many funny memories of you and your antics. However, my sweet baby, the memories are not enough. I want you here with me. I want to hold you, pet you, brush you, dress you up and play with you. I miss you so so much. I know in my heart that you are better off with God now because you were so sick when you left me. You would not have enjoyed this time of year like you used to because you would not have been able to run around and play. So, my little love, I will have to wait and have faith that I will get to hold you again and play with you and run and chase birds again. Just always remember that I loved you so very much and I will continue to love you with all my heart. My tears for you are mixed with joy and pain. I'll always love you forever and always. Mommy
April 14, 2012
Good morning my little man, Mommy misses you very much. I love you so much and I wish there was some way I could bring you back to me. I still look for you every day when I open the door. As I think Nikki's spirit visits Zorro to comfort me, I am wondering if you visit Bella to comfort me. She is beginning to take on many of your traits. She is the one who runs to meet me when I open the door after coming home from work. Even when you were so sick, you made every effort to get up to greet me. I am so sorry that you were so sick in the end. I would have done anything to save you, but the vet said there was nothing I could do. I know you stayed alive as long as you could for me. I know when Nikki died, you wanted to go with her. But, you didn't, you stayed with me to comfort me. I love you so much, my precious little man. I know you are happy to be with your sister now and the two of you can rest side by side and walk with God who created you and sent you to me to care for you until He was ready to have you return. I am so grateful for the time He let me care for you. I will see you again someday my little love. I will hold you again and the next time we are together, I will never have to leave you. We will be together always. This is the anniversary of Nikki's death which I know you remember so well. It is still so vivid for me. Watch over your big sister and protect her always, let her know Mommy loves you both and I will be thinking of you every day and you will always be in my heart. I love now and forever. Love, Mommy
October 22, 2012
Hi precious little man. Mommy loves you very much and I miss you so very much. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and all your little antics. I saw Annie, your little friend yesterday, and she misses you too. She is getting very old and her mommy thinks she may be joining you soon. When she arrives, you will have another friend to watch over. I love you so much and I always will. I have all of your toys and your urn right next to my desk with your favorite pictures to comfort me. Next month is going to be three years since you left. It is so hard to believe it has been that long. And our little Nikki has been gone six years. For both of you, it is like yesterday because the pain is still with me. I am going for now, my baby, but I will visit again in a couple of weeks. Remember that I love you always. Love, Mommy
November 12, 2012
Good morning my precious Little Man. Today is the anniversary of you returning home to our Father in heaven. Today my heart breaks as much as it did when I had to let you go. You were such a brave little man. I know you were being brave for me. You tried so hard to hang on. It was selfish of me to try to keep you going for so long. I am sorry for that; it is just that I loved you so much and I could not bear the thought of losing you. You were my rock for the three years after we lost Nikki, our home and everything else. You gave me the strength to start over. You would lick my tears and cuddle with me to let me know things were going to be okay. Sam, I loved you so very much and I still do. I hope you know just much I loved you. Remember Helen, our friend in AR? She came to visit this past weekend and she talked about you so fondly. She loved you too. She used to babysit you and Nikki when I had to work. She loved the shrine I have made for you. If you can look down and see it, I hope you like it. I have your urn and all your favorite toys and lots of pictures of you. My baby, I will always love you. I think of you each and every day. I miss you so very much. I also thank God every day for having had the pleasure of being your Mommy. He entrusted you to my care until He was ready to bring you home. I pray that my belief that I will see you again, is true. I will be so happy to hold you in my arms again. Give your sister lots of kisses for me. I love you forever. Mommy
December 25, 2012
Hi my Little Man Sam. I love you so much. You are the most precious little man. Do you remember the song I wrote for you called Little Man Sam? I wrote it for you when you were so sick. I was studying for my finals and you stayed right in the room with me. You were my inspiration. I miss you so very much. I wanted to wish you Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas. I hope you and Nikki are together every minute. Don't let her out of your sight. I know you are both with God and therefore, healthy and happy and protected. I just want to see you both immediately when I come to heaven. I want to hold onto both of you and never let you go. I love you so much. I miss our family Christmas/Hanukkah celebrations so much. This time of year is so very sad for me. I am looking forward to the day when we can be together again. I know it won't be the same but at least we will be together and you will know how much I love you. Please never forget how much you were and still are loved. I miss you and think about you every day. There has never been a sweeter little guy than you were. You were my strength after Nikki died. Then when you died, all my strength has gone. My joy is gone and my spirit weak. Every day is a struggle for me. I will hang on though because I have these two little Yorkies to care for and they need me. Watch over them when I am at work. Take care of Nikki and yourself and know that I love you both with all my heart and soul. I love you forever and always. Mommy
November 12, 2013
Mommy does not know what happened to your notes I wrote to you at Easter. Anyway, I love you so very much my precious little man, I cannot believe that it has been 4 years since you had to leave me and go to heaven. I know you and Nikki are walking with God and playing with many of your little friends. I know you are not sick any longer and that you are happy. I am only happy in the sense that you are well and whole again. I talk to you every single night and tell you good night like I did when you were here with me. I just miss you so very much. My heart breaks when I think of the day I had to let you go. And, I would not have let you go except that you let me know that it was time. We human parents hurt and ache just as much when we lose our fur babies, just like when we lose a human member of our family. Because you and Nikki were my babies. I never thought of you as not being human because I treated you like human babies. I loved you so very much and you and Nikki were my life. When Nikki left us, I counted on you so much. You were always there for me and I tried to be your rock and be there for you especially when you got so sick. I would have traded places with you in a heartbeat because I could not stand to see you suffer. It broke my heart that I could not help you. I could only love you and hold you. One thing is for certain which I have said many times, you were so very special and sweet and no fur baby ever could compare to you. Sam, you were my one and only precious little man. I love the song I wrote for you and I know you would love it too. I am going to be moving soon to a house I think you would have loved. It is much like our home in AR. You will be there in spirit and when I take Bella and Zorro for walks, you will be walking with us in spirit. You used to love your morning and afternoon walks. This neighborhood we are going to has a familial sense to it. You will see soon because I know you are looking down on me and on your little brother and sister. Watch over them while I am away because they need their big brother. I need you too my sweet baby. Just know that I love you now and I will love you forever. Kisses and hugs, Mommy.
December 25, 2013
Merry Christmas my precious little man. You were the best Christmas present anyone could have ever received. I remember when we found you just like it was yesterday. I miss you so very much my most precious little boy. The holidays have been so difficult, especially this one because every time I look at a Christmas tree, I remember how much you loved sleeping under it. It was as though you thought the tree was just for you, and that first Christmas you were with us, it was just for you. I wanted to make your life as pleasant and loving as I possibly could. You really had a rough time before we found you, Your sister Nikki loved you and watched over you. I don't think I have ever known a fur baby as cuddly as you. You were just a big ball of fur. You always had a smile on your little face. I would have done anything to extend your life, but I suppose God had something else in mind for you. Perhaps you are a little doggie angel helping children to feel better. I just know that I loved you so much and miss you every day. This year I put up a tree and put yours and Nikki's ornaments on it. The Yorkies have not had a tree ever, so they are really enjoying it. Every time I walk by it, though, I look to see if you are sleeping under it. You made your bed under every tree as long as you were on Earth with me. You were so funny. You did not even bother any of the presents until Christmas Day. It's like you knew when to open the presents. You sure loved to tear up the paper and sit in the boxes. You always got bows stuck on you. I loved those times and I treasure those memories, even though my heart breaks when I look at the pictures and movies of you and Nikki. We have a new home now and I am making memories with the Yorkies starting this year. But I will never forget your love and your sweet little face. You were my little rock for so long. I truly think that you grieved for Nikki so much and you were trying to be strong for me, and you became weakened and got so sick. I so wish I could have made you well. Today, I know that you are with your precious sister, Nikki, and with God. I will see you again someday and we will run and play. You will be whole and well. I love you so much my little Sam. Never forget how much I love you. A great big hug and kisses to you my sweet Sam. I love you forever. Mommy.
January 3, 2014
Happy Birthday my sweet little man. As I look back over my notes to you, I don't see some of them that I wrote to you. Perhaps it is my fault perhaps I forgot to check apply my changes. I am so sorry if I did that. I would never intentionally forget to write to you on your birthday and holidays. Especially because I always made such a big deal of celebrating all those days with you and Nikki. The two of you enjoyed so much opening your presents and getting new toys and playing with them and sharing with each other. Zorro and Bella remind me of you and Nikki, sharing their food and toys. We don't know the exact day or year of your birth because we found you. All we had to go on was the estimation of your vets as to your age. That is why we decided to give you a January 1st birthday in celebration of you starting a new year and a new life with us. I had computer/server issues trying to access this site for your birthday but now I am on. I love you and miss you every day that passes. However, I am trying to look on the positive side and say that every day that passes is one more day that I am closer to seeing you again. I want to hold you and cuddle you and give you a bath and brush your soft curly hair. You really liked your baths and getting brushed. Nikki also did and she loved getting blow dried. That's why I think her spirit dwells in Zorro because he loves getting blow dried. He will run to the bathroom and wait for me to get the blow dryer after his bath. You know whether or not Nikki dwells in him or just visits, just as I think from time to time, you visit within Bella because she is more like you. I know you remember both of them coming to live with us before you passed. I know you loved them, but they were puppies and you were so sick, you did not want to play with them very much. I am pretty sure they understood. I so wish you were here at this new house. There are other Shih Tzu puppies here, some who remind me of you, You would have liked to take your walks here. I am walking the Yorkies every day like I used to walk you. I did not walk them much at the other house. Could not bring myself to do it. Anyway, my precious little man, I hope you had a nice birthday celebration with Nikki and your angel fur baby friends. One day, you can let me know when your real birthday is and we will celebrate it on the right day. Until then, my sweet Sam, keep an eye on Nikki and watch over Zorro and Bella. I am so happy you can see with both eyes now and are not sick any more, though I miss you so very much. My thoughts are with you daily and you are always in my heart. I will love you forever and always. Mommy
March 24, 2014
Good morning my precious little man. I hope you and Nikki are having a great time playing, running and feeling whole and healthy again. I miss you so very much. I know you would have loved it here at our new home. There is a little girl fur baby who looks just like you. She lives two doors down and she is so sweet. You would have loved to have her for a playmate. Sam, my baby, you were so adorable and lovable. I am still so saddened about losing you. With you and Nikki both gone, half of my heart is missing. I can't seem to get it mended no matter what I do. I know you remember little Zorro and Bella. They were your little sister and brother before you passed. I love them very much, but even all their love for me cannot heal my broken heart. I miss you and Nikki so very much. The only comfort I have is knowing that you both are whole and healthy again and that one day I will see you both again. When I see you both, will be the happiest day for me. God entrusted the two of you to my care and I feel sometimes that I let all of you down. I know I could not control your illness or Nikki's horrible death, but I feel responsible because it was my job to protect both of you. I am so sorry I could not heal the two of you. People tell me that it was time for God to bring you both home and that nothing I could have done could interfere with God's plan. I hope that is the case; otherwise, I could not not go on living. Everyday is painful for me. I loved you so very much, and still do love you as much as ever. I will hold you again and see your beautiful smile. That keeps me going.
April 14, 2014
Today is especially difficult for me as you know. Your precious little sister died 8 years ago. You are my precious little man and you looked after her. I want you to comfort her today because I know she did not want to leave us. I remember how much you loved her and mourned for her as I did. I wonder if you have begun to bark again when you went to heaven and saw her waiting for you. You never barked again from the day she died. You never complained when you were in so much pain, instead you tried to comfort me. I love you, my little man Sam and you are in my thoughts and my heart every day of my life. I pray for you and Nikki every day, that you are well and safe and playing together, waiting for me to come for you. I don't know where God will send us, but wherever, we will be together. Remember how much I loved you and cuddle up with Nikki every night. Let her know how much you both are missed by your human mommy. I love you always and forever. Mommy
July 19, 2014
Hi doll. Mommy forgot to post Nikki's birthday wishes until today. Her birthday was 10 days ago. I did not forget, I will never forget either of your birthdays but I did forget to write. I hope you and Nikki celebrated her birthday with cake and toys. I think the little ShihTzu that lives down the street has the same birthday as Nikki. She looks so much like you. I am working on another PhD and I miss you lying by my feet while I work. Nikki would lay on the desk and you liked to be under the desk. You always liked to be underneath something when you rested or slept. I remember when we first found you; it was Christmas. You went right to the Christmas tree and lay down. That is where you slept every night until we took it down. Then you made your bed under the piano bench. You were such a unique little guy. I miss you so very much. I miss holding you and walking with you. You were a perfect beautiful fur baby. Watch over your sister and know I will come for both of you one day. I miss you everyday. I have your picture and Nikki's next to my bed so you are the last thing I see every night before I go to sleep.I love you forever and always. Mommy
November 12, 2014
Hi my precious little man,
I miss you so very much. You have been gone five years today. It seems like yesterday. Remember I have told you about the little girl ShihTzu who lives down the street. She could be your twin. I have grown to love her even though she is not mine. She is so much like you. It is painful for me to see her everyday and yet seeing her also reinforces the wonderful memories of you that live in my heart and mind. She comes to visit every time she is out in her back yard. It is like she knows she brings peace and pain at the same time to me. Are you sending her to see me? You were such a sweet little man. I often remember your funny little antics and laugh out loud remembering something funny you would do. I am working on another doctorate and spend a lot of time in my office. You used to stay right by my side the entire time I spent working on my assignments. You are not here in person to help me to get through these courses, but your memorial and your pictures are right here for me to view while I work. Remember I wrote a song for you? I have it on my desktop and when I get a little down, I play your song. It is a blues song that I wrote for you. I finally got my first book published. You and Nikki used to sit or play while I was writing that book. Finally, it is published and getting good reviews. I am going to write a book about you and Nikki also. I want you to enjoy your new life in heaven because I know you are well, healthy and have everything you need. God sees to that. You don't have me, but you will someday because I am going to come for you and Nikki. Until that time comes, please remember how much I loved you and know that I think about you everyday. I love you forever and always. Mommy
December 25, 2014
Hi my angel. Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah. I hope you and Nikki are having a great day playing with all your friends you have made in Rainbows Bridge. I miss you so very much. I put up the artificial tree this year for Zorro and Isabella Rose. I do not want a real tree any more. It is too painful to have a real tree. You used to sleep under the tree and drink the tree's water. If I were to put up a real one, I would be watching for you. I have the precious memories of you and Nikki playing under the tree and tearing into your presents. The two of you were so funny. You truly enjoyed your presents. I talk to you and Nikki everyday and tell you how much I love you and miss you.I hope you can hear me. Sometimes I do sense your presence. One of these days we will be together again. I will be able to hug you and brush you and play with you for hours and take long walks like we used to do. Until I can hold you again, remember how much I loved you and still do. I will always love you forever and keep you in my heart forever. Love, Mommy
February 14, 2015
Happy Valentine's Day my little man! I truly miss you with all my heart. You were such a joy and a special little guy. I am so happy that you were able to have some quality time with Nikki and me. I don't know what your little life was like before you came into our lives, but I do know you had a wonderful life until you became so sick. One thing I do know now is that you are with your sister, Nikki, and now your cousin, Molly. She died yesterday. Tanji and Eddie buried her under their big oak tree where she used to play and chase squirrels. Her brother, Beau, I am afraid will be joining her in a while. Molly and Beau were born the same day. They have never spent a day apart, like you and Nikki after you came to live with us. I want you and Nikki to find her and let her know everything will be ok. She is all alone until you find her. Let her know Beau will be ok. Watch over him and let him know Molly is with you and Nikki. She has a friend, Yanni, there also and Jeff's dog, Roscoe. So, go and find them and stay together. We will come for you one day. Until then, never forget how much I loved you. I love you now, forever and always. Mommy.
April 14, 2015
Hi my little man. Today Nikki has been gone for 9 years. I know that you are with her to keep her company until I can come for both of you. I know she is happy to have you with her. You loved her so very much while you lived on Earth with me. I am so happy that God allowed me to be your guardian for as long as He did. He trusted me to take care of the two of you until He was ready for you to go home. God sent both of you to me at very special times. I was not happy at all when both of you died. I questioned God for a long time about why bad things happen to precious creatures that He has created. One day, I will ask in person. I have wonderful memories that I cherish of the times we spent together as a family.I am grateful for the unconditional love that you and Nikki gave to me. I love you my precious little man. Take care of your sister and remember always that I love you forever. Mommy
July 9, 2015
Hi sweet little man,
Today is your sister's birthday. She would have been 22 if she had lived. The two of you would be eating doggie birthday cake and tearing into presents. I know how much you loved Nikki and she loved you so much too. I miss both of you so very much. I am happy though, that both of you are together now to look out for one another and keep each other happy until I can be with you again. The magnolias are blooming and they always remind me of you. For some reason, you liked the smell of that beautiful flower. I wish you were here to see how many magnolia trees there are in our neighborhood. I moved from the old neighborhood. You would really have liked this one with so many nice dogs to meet. Take care of you and Nikki. Go and play and have a great time. I will be with you again one day and we will go for long walks and play together. I love you forever and always. Mommy
November 12, 2015
Hello Precious Little Man,
I truly miss your precious little face every day. People would tease about your little smile because you did not have many teeth, because whoever your previous owner was, did not take good care of you. To me, you had the most beautiful smile. You would smile and show your little few teeth. You were proud to show off your smile because you had someone who loved you so much. I know that you did know how much you were loved by me and by your sister Nikki. Even though it saddens me so much to not have you and Nikki with me, I am happy that the two of you are together and can look out for one another like you did when you were on the Earth. I miss you so much. I miss you sitting with me for hours while I worked on my dissertation. I am doing another one and though you are not physically with me, I have your pictures and your memorial with me so I can feel your presence with me. One of these days, we will be together again and I will get to hold you in my arms. Until that day comes, I will miss you and think of you every day of my life. Take care of you and Nikki. I love you forever. Mommy
January 1, 2016
Happy Birthday my little man. I do not know what happened to the Christmas post I did for you and Nikki, so I will just say that I missed you so much for Hanukkah and Christmas again this year. You always loved to sleep under the tree, drink the tree's water, tear into your presents and wear the bows that stuck to you. My little guy, you would be 15 today if our records are correct, after all the vet was guessing your age based on your development, when we found you. I love you so much. The little ShihTzu who looks like you, moved away. It was a sad day for me because she reminded me so much of you. She would come to my house every day to play. If you had been here, you would have loved to play with her. My sweet man, I am one year from graduating with this PhD, and I will owe it to you as well. I love you with all my heart. Run and play with Nikki and your little friends and I will see you someday and get to hold you again. I love you forever and always. Mommy.
April 16, 2016
Hi Sam. Ten years ago your sister went to heaven. Three years ago you joined her. I know the two of you are happy now that you are together again. I still miss both of you so very much. I love you so much. There is a new little guy who reminds me so much of you. He has your coloring and lives around the corner. He is just a baby, but seems to have your personality.Sometimes when I go to sleep, I wonder if when I wake up, I will be holding you and Nikki. I know that day will come, just do not know when. Until that time comes, know that I talk to you everyday and wish you were with me. I love always my dear sweet little man. Love, Mommy.
July 11, 2016
Hi precious Sam,
Saturday was Nikki's birthday. She would have been 23 years old! Imagine that. Your sister who was taken too soon. But now the two of you can run about and play and have lots of friends to play with. I did not have access to my computer to write to both of you until today. Be sure to remind her how much I loved and still love the two of you. I hope you helped her to celebrate. Mommy will talk to you soon. I love you with all my hear. Mommy
November 12, 2016
Hello my beautiful baby,
December 25, 2016
Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah my sweet Sam. I put up the Hanukkah/Christmas tree this year. Every time I looked at it I remembered you always lying under the tree every night that it was up. You always loved to do that. I think that is one reason that I continue to put it up. It has all of yours and Nikki's ornaments and pictures for each year that you were with me. I miss you so very much. The Yorkies opened their presents but rather tear the paper like you used to do. You were so funny. You would sit in the boxes and get the bows stuck on your fur. I truly think that you enjoyed tearing into the presents and knew which ones were yours. I hope you have good memories of your time with Nikki and me. I look forward to the day when we can be together again. You had such a sweet face and a loving look in your eye. I think of you every day and will always miss you. Watch over your sister until we meet once again in heaven. I love you always and forever. Mommy.
April 14, 2017
Hi sweet little man. Mommy misses you so very much. 11 years ago today your sister Nikki left us to go to heaven. You took such good care of her the week before she died. You loved her as much as I did. People say fur babies do not grieve, but I know better. After she died, you never barked again and you grieved for three years until you could not bear the pain any longer and you left me to be with her. She was like a mother and sister to you. I cannot imagine the life you had before you came to be with us but I know it was a horrible experience for you. At least you had five years with Nikki and 3 more years with me of love and happiness. I hope we were able to take away some of your pain. I will always love you and I cherish my memories of you and Nikki. I can never see a sea gull that I don't see you chasing them. You were so funny wondering why they leapt into the air and you could not catch them. The expression on your little face was priceless. You are with your sister now and the two of you are taking care of each other. One day I will take care of you again. I hope you have a great Passover/Easter week. I love you so very much. Remember your baskets I used to get for you and Nikki? I gave some of yours and Nikki's toys to fur babies at the animal shelter to enjoy. Zorro and Bella have some of the others. I love you sweet Sam. Give Nikki lots of kisses. Forever and always, Mommy.
July 10, 2017
Hi Little Man. Mommy is a day late with Nikki's birthday wishes. I was traveling and I did not have access. I hope you and Nikki played a lot for her birthday. I wish I could have baked her little bone cake and ice cream like I used to for y'all's birthdays. I know how much you both loved to tear open your presents looking forward to your presents inside. However, you liked the bows more than the toys. You were so funny. I miss you so very much and wish I could hold you just one more time. But, I do know that one day, I will get to hold you and Nikki all I want when I get to heaven.Remember all the good memories we shared and know that I love you always and forever. Love, Mommy
November 12, 2017
Hello my sweet Sam. I love you so much and miss you so,so much. I am sure you have seen Jeff by now. He went to heaven on September 28th. Remember when he used to come to our house when Alyssa was just a baby? And also, when Lincoln was just a little baby, you would just sit and look at them like you were guarding them. Well, my son, whom I loved so much, has left another hole in my heart. I don't know how much more my heart can take. If you have not seen him, go and find Roscoe and take him to Jeff. I am sure Roscoe has forgiven him and would love to see him. In the meantime, I want you to know that I will see you, Nikki and my son again. If I did not think I would see you again, I do not think I could continue to live. I miss you every day. Please look down and know how much I love you and miss you. Forever and always, love Mommy.
Please also visit Nikki Marie Marcino.