Sadie was born on 12/1/98 and joined our family in February 1999. We could never have asked for a more beautiful, gentle and loving dog. We all loved her dearly and miss her more than words can ever express. Our hearts ache. But we know you are out of pain now and at peace. The overwhelming grief is that you are not here with us to love. We try so hard to keep our loving memories of you in focus, and not on that final day when you left us...a day that cannot be described unless you are an owner of a beloved pet. You had so many nicknames; Pup Girl, Puppy Girl, Puppy Girly, Poopers, Poopy Butt, and my son's silly names that he gave her as a young boy; Don-de-lo Doops and Doopers. We named you before we really knew your personality, but said through the years that we should have named you "Thumper" because of your ever wagging tail. It never stopped wagging, even when you sick and even when we lay sobbing as you were put to rest that terrible day. I can still hear your collar jingling and your paws on the bare floor. Oddly, you rarely barked but made this silly growling noise. Even if you did let out an occasional warning bark, your tail would keep wagging. In the beginning, we could hardly tell you wanted to go out; most dogs bark at the door, but you would not do that; the most you ever did was sit by the door and stare at it. Your only naughty habit was getting into the garbage for an occasional snack (along with cat litter!), and you had a somewhat queazy stomach - so needless to say your tendency was to throw everything up. All through the house. Or, it would come out the other end, all through the house. No matter, we cleaned it up while all the time you lay there with your ears back, expecting us to scold you - which we rarely did. With 3 children (Courtney, Gregory and Elizabeth) in the house along with your Mommy and Daddy, there were occasional arguments, which sent you scampering. You loved to lie in the sun and roll on your back in the grass. Our neighbors were amazed at what a wonderful dog you were....you would lie there without a leash and would never (well, almost never) stray from your yard. Everyone who met you loved you. You once found a baby rabbits nest in our backyard, and once Daddy showed you the tiny babies, you layed there for hours, protecting the nest. We had my oldest daughter Courtney's friend's baby on our living room floor, and you layed by that baby instinctively protecting him. You loved going on walks, which we were guilty of not doing enough of because for most of your years you had a yard to wonder about freely. Courtney took you for long walks, miles before your hips got bad, and you started to show your age...when you were about 9. You never complained about that arthritic hip pain, except for the first time it really kicked in...and we were terrified. Everytime you moved you would yelp in pain, and we were helpless to do anything until the next day at the vet. Once you were on your medicine you were like new! It was still hard to climb steps, but you did it. About 3 years ago you had a bladder infection, and other than that, you were in very good health for a pup that was at the beginning of her geriatric years. Then, in the spring of 2010 your health began to decline. You stopped eating or drinking and became lethargic. We took you to the emergency vet and were told you had irreversible kidney damage and pancreatis. You were in the vet hospital for 4 days, and then we took you home. With medication you did really well. You still had hip problems, and began peeing in your sleep. With medication for that, the arthritis and your kidney supplements we knew you were ok, and prayed we would have you longer. During the last 6 months you went downhill, as in human years you were almost 80. The walks became shorter, climbing stairs became more difficult and you lost 20 lbs. People asked us what was wrong with you and we would just tell them you were old and having some health problems. They would share their similar stories with us, and we would know, without saying the words, that they were in some way trying to prepare us. Defying logical thinking, we wanted to believe that our Sadie girl would live forever, because we could not imagine our lives without you. We looked into your eyes and wanted you to tell us, but ultimately realized that we had to make that decision for you, and could not bear to see you decline. During the last weeks, we had to carry you upstairs and you hardly ate. Near the end you could not even keep water down. It was time, and in our breaking hearts, we knew. The day was horrible and still fresh in our minds, as it was 3 days ago. I keep wondering if I will feel this way forever, because I know that I will never forget that, and will always want you here with us. But God took you, and now our connection to you must be kept alive however we need to do that. I pray that the beautiful memories we have will someday override that painful day. So many many memories...........The first day we had you, you pooped all over the kitchen, and then a few weeks later clawed right through a wall; once that stage was over, you slept with Mommy and Daddy every night, and rarely had an accident in the house after that (unless we were late letting you out)....the countless garbage can rummaging, the same snacks we gave you in the morning your entire life (a meaty bone, a beggin' strip and a scooby doo or two); your chewy bones that you would ravish in minutes; your numerous toys that you would promptly take the squeaker out of.......when we brought home our new kitten (Kiki), you promptly took him gently in your mouth, thinking he was a play toy. Then, Kiki became your best friend, and groomer (licking your face and eyes clean every day)....You scared the heck out of our Cockatoo "Houdini" when a strong wind came through the house and knocked the bird cage on the floor....Courtney loved to take you on long walks, she took you to the river and lake so you could swim endlessly, even with your pain. We moved to an apartment where we could not have dogs, so Courtney became your Mommy. And what a wonderful Mommy she was to you. (I believe that was when I unofficially became a grandma, which meant of course that I could spoil you all I wanted). In the book "All Pets Go to Heaven" it is mentioned that there are 4 classifications for what type of pet owners there are (Excellent, Good, Fair and Bad), and Courtney would be at the very top, A #1 and beyond. And of course, Daddy and I doggy-sat you on weekends and it was then that we spoiled you, and you taught me the patient art of dog-walking. I knew that those walks would end one day soon, and so I treasured every moment...no matter what the weather. I let you sniff to your heart's content and never rushed you. I kept thinking, in the busy years of child-rearing that you were so much a part of, I often was too rushed and too busy or tired to do that. I would give anything to have those years back. You loved to open presents with your paws and mouth, so we always made sure that whatever the occasion, you had a present too. Christmas without you will really make it not Christmas at all. We rarely gave you people food, and because of that you rarely begged; although towards the end we gave you steak - and you devoured it of course. I would give anything to have you back and give you steak every night for dinner. We didn't want you to be unhealthy, so we were strict, but you were never overweight and in retrospect, as healthy as you could be. The vet told us 3 years ago you had the worst hip dysplasia she's ever seen in a dog, and that we could have surgery for you to replace your hips, but that you may not survive that because of your age (9, at the time). Nine?! Why didn't someone tell us, when we picked you out of that litter (actually you were the last one, but that was fate...they saved the best for last) that we would only have you for a maximum of 13-14 years if we were very lucky. Of course in our minds we knew that, but our hearts would not hear of it. Sadie will live forever. And in our memories and heart we know you will. Your ashes will be at Courtney's house, and (and "Grandma's house, right next to our hearts on a pendant for "Grandma" and Elizabeth). I will keep my ashes in a beautiful engraved teddy bear, so that when that inevitable wave of sadness comes, I can hold you close to me. The tears don't seem to stop. I know they will someday. And someday I will see you again and hold you. We all will, and you will be with your family again. Until then, send us a sign, and play to your hearts content with all of the other beautiful angels.|
12/13/10: Each day gets a little easier, with less tears and heartache, but not one hour goes by without remembering my Sadie girl, and I miss her terribly. I had kept looking for a sign to let me know she is alright. I don't know if anyone has ever experienced this, but this happened to me when my mother and father died years ago. I woke up very groggily in the middle of the night on Sunday, and what woke me was a very bright light, surrounding me. I was so disoriented that I even texted my daughter to ask her if she had come in where I was sleeping and taken a picture with a flashbulb! Of course she hadn't, so within a minute of laying there with my heart pounding, I realized what had happened...it was Sadie and she had come to tell me she is ok. I felt a calmness and peace that I have not felt since the day we lost her. I truly believe Sadie knew that outwardly I was taking her loss hardest in our family, and she did not want me to be so sad anymore. Since that happened, I can truly say that I have felt better and not had that horrible pain in my heart. My husband (who is very skeptical) even believes what happened that night.
12/14/10: Her ashes are ready to be picked up, so I know I will get that feeling again, but I hope that Sadie can assure me again that she is so happy where she is and not to be sad.
12/28/10: The holidays are almost over, and they were so difficult for me. I picked up your ashes on 12/18 and the grief seemed to pour over me again as it did before. I held the clear bag of ashes that they gave me for my teddy bear and pendants, and I just sat in the car and sobbed. I could hardly see to drive. I put a portion of your ashes in a silver heart in the back of my teddy bear, and there have been a couple of rough days that I hugged that bear and cried. I decided to purchase a small beautiful (engraved) urn to also keep your ashes out in our living area. My teddy bear is private, and so many people do not understand. It continues to surprise me how many people do not quite understand the depth of my grief, so I tend to keep to myself on bad days. Which makes this website even more meaningful for me. The day after Christmas, when all of our family and guests left and the house was relatively empty, it snowed and was a beautiful, calm day with the snow blowing outside and the Christmas lights still twinkling everywhere. It was truly magical, but for some reason I could feel the grief well up again. I cried but then felt better. I keep looking for another sign, because then I feel connected to you. My bear helps, but there is no substitute for a true "celestial" experience. I may not ever experience that again. So I continue to have my good and bad days.
1/21/11: My son Gregory and I went to visit my father's gravesite, and we placed a memorial I had purchased there. It is a solar powered angel statue, and I attached a silver pendant containing Sadie's ashes, along with a brass plaque engraved: "Forever In My Heart/Beloved Father and Beautiful Sadie/Keep each other warm and safe until we meet again one sweet day". My son is the sweetest son a mother could have, driving me there and always eager to visit the grandfather that he was never to meet - a Grandfather that would have been so proud of his grandson, and his granddaughters Courtney and Elizabeth.
3/26/11: My sister-in-law and brother-in-law's 14 year old beagle-mix passed away on Tuesday, March 22nd, and I know that Ben (Benny-Ben, as we called him) has crossed the Rainbow Bridge and is being given a grand tour by our beloved Sadie girl. I know that Sadie has already made many friends there, but I feel very comforted knowing that she is now joined by her friend here on Earth. Our hearts go out to Ben's family and know this time is so very difficult for them. As for me, not a day goes by without thinking about Sadie, and tears still fall. Spring is almost here, and I remember that one year ago she was doing so well. Life is so swift. Along with the passing of my beloved mother and father that passed away, Sadie taught me once again to savor every moment of every day with your loved ones.
11/9/11: In June we brought home a 3 month old Bengal kitten, and named him Strider. Having this beautiful, funny kitten has brought me much joy - more than I've had since our Sadie girl passed almost a year ago. If there was ever a cat that acted like a dog, Strider is the one. He eats and plays just like a dog. I have never seen a cat that ate so much! Of course, I am spoiling him rotten...but no people food outside of plain chicken meat and tuna once in awhile. He likes to lick my cereal bowl clean in the mornings too. He is absolutely beautiful and I've attached a picture of him. What is so weird is that I have never ever heard of cat's ears being dirty. Strider's ears need to be cleaned once a week, and the really strange thing is that the worse of his 2 ears is the SAME ONE that Sadie had problems with. As anyone who knows me can attest to, I believe in fate, karma, and all things similar.....
12/4/11: My heart has been heavy with sadness this past week as the first "anniversary" of my beloved Sadie had approached. I held her pendant close to me every day and prayed that when I looked up at the sky she was know how very much we miss her, and how loved she was...and always will be. Yesterday (December 3rd) was the hardest day, and nothing was able to distract me. Our beautiful Bengal kitten (now 9 months old) was especially affectionate and loving, so I think in some way Strider knew. Thank you to all my friends at Rainbows Bridge for your condolences and kind words. Bless you all.
12/1/15: Today was our beautiful Sadie's birthday. She would have been 17 years old. She is still so much in all of our hearts, and I still feel the ache of missing her. Our beautiful babies truly are like our children...nothing can replace them. We love you dearly Sadie girl, and hope you are having a wonderful birthday with all of your furry friends. Until we meet again, zillions of kisses and hugs