june 20th- i saved all the notes on here and started new.IT HAS BEEN THE LONGEST 3 MONTHS OF MY LIFE.. IT SEEMS LIKE IT IS FOREVER SINCE YOU LEFT ME AND DADDY.. WE MISS YOU AND STILL CRY DAILY OVER LOSING YOU. EVEN THOU WE KNEW IT WAS FOR THE BEST. YOU WERE IN SO MUCH MISERY AND I WAS SELFISH FOR HOLDING ON AS LONG AS I DID. I DID IT FOR ME AND FOR THAT I AM SO SORRY THAT YOU SUFFERED UNNECCESARILY. FORGIVE ME MY BABY BOY. GOD HOW I MISS YOU. PLEASE REMEMBER ME AND PUT IN A GOOD WORD WITH GOD. LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER MY SPECIAL LIL MAN.... MOMMA
JUNE 21ST.. HEY MY SWEET PRINCE. HOW ARE YOU TODAY.. ITS BEEN A LONG DRUGGED OUT DAY FOR ME. I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH. BEEN LISTENING TO ALOT OF OLD MUSIC TODAY THAT REMINDED ME OF OLD TIMES. MISS SINGING AND HOLDING YOU TO THE MUSIC BABY. PLEASE LOOK OUT FOR US AND WATCH OVER US. OUR TIME IS PRECIOUS LIKE IT WAS WITH YOU. LOVE ALWAYS, MOMMA
JUNE 23RD,, HOW ARE YOU SWEET PEA,, AS YOU CAN TELL I HAVE TROUBLE TYPING. FINGERS DONT WANT TO WORK. NEITHER DOES MY BRAIN. HOPE YOU AND GOOFY ARE PASSING THE TIME AWAY PLAYING HARD AND HAVING FUN. ITS SO LONESOME HERE WITHOUT YOU. WE WERE SAYING YESTERDAY THAT YOU AND MASON WOULD BE HAVING A BLAST TOGETHER. WISH WE WOULD OF HAD YOU A INSIDE BABY TO PLAY WITH. MAYBE YOU COULD OF STAYED LONGER. I DONT KNOW.. NO ONE DOES BUT GOD. I HOPE HE IS TREATING YOU GOOD. AND YOU DO THE SAME AS YOU ALWAYS DID HERE AT HOME. LOVE TO YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER MY BABY BOY..... MOMMA
JUNE 24TH- GOOD MORNING ANGEL.. HOW DID YOU SLEEP. HOW IS GOOFY AND THE REST OF THE GANG.. I MISS YOU MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF. EVERY BREATH I TAKE HURTS BECAUSE YOU NOT WITH ME. I CANT SEE YOU OR TOUCH YOU; AND I REALLY NEED TO..I NEED TO SEE YOUR PRETTY EYES AND LOVING LIL BODY TO HOLD IN MY ARMS. I LOVE YOU PRECIOUS BOY, THANKS FOR MASON.... LOVE ALWAYS, MOMMA

june 26th. hey sweetie how are you, i am sorry that i didnt write yesterday.. guess i got caught up in the crap. i miss u with all my heart and soul. its hard to cook in the kitchen because you are not there to help.well u are there but i cant see you and thats what really hurts the most. i cant touch or see you . you are always with me in spirit because i can feel it but its not the same so i will have to make do until i meet you at the bridge .. dont forget to save me a space... and meet me there.. for i will be looking for those loving eyes of yours... love for now sweet pea.... momma
JUNE 28TH- GOOD MORNING ANGEL; HOW ARE YOU AND GOOFY DOING LATELY. HAVENT SEEN OR HEARD FROM YOU IN AWHILE. MISSING YOU LIKE MAD AND GOING CRAZY BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT HERE WITH ME. I WISH YOU WOULD VISIT US MORE OFTEN. I WANT TO HOLD U IN MY ARMS AGAIN,BABY. THEY ARE SO EMPTY. MY CHEST ACHES BECAUSE YOU ARE GONE. I DONT THINK I WILL EVER HEAL. YOU WERE MY SUNSHINE AND MY SOUL. PLEASE WAIT AT THE BRIDGE FOR ME AND TELL GOD ALL ABOUT HOW GOOD I TREATED YOU AND LOVE YOU... LOVE ALWAYS AND FOREVER; MOMMA :)

june 30th- hi sweetie pie; how are you.. dont forget to look for the candles tonight... i will be burning 3 for you. i miss you my baby. please think about me and dont forget to play with the babies til momma gets there.. and please dont worry about nothing.. i will be looking for you everywhere i go. u are always on my mind and in my heart... love to u always; momma
JULY 4TH[ HAPPY 4TH OF JULY BABY.. MOMMA MISSES YOU SO SO MUCH.. FOREVER ON MY MIND... THINKING ABOUT ALL THE PLACES WE HAVE BEEN AND SEEN.. WE HAVE TRAVELED THE WORLD HAVENT WE. I DONT KNOW WHAT THIS WORLD IS COMING TO AND COULD REALLY USE YOU RIGHT NOW.. I AM LONESOME AND NEED REBEL KISSES AND HUGS.. THINK ABOUT ME AS I AM THINKING ABOUT U... LOVE TO ALL OF YOU MOMMA

july 6th- o my sweet baby... i am not writing as much daily or it will take up all the space like last time.. dont think i am forgetting you. never... you are my sweet angel and always on my mind.. i think about you constantly and talk to you just like always. you are in everyroom and everywhere in the yard. i see you and your footprints. you were the perfect baby. please when you can come visit with me.. looking forward to it... love momma

july 14th- i might not write to you on here BUT i talk to you everyday at home or wherever i am. i love you so much my baby. its miserable around here lately with all the fussing if you were still with me it wouldnt matter, just u.. i am waiting on a surprise visit with u. we still cant get over u not being with me. thinking about getting mason a playmate;what do you think? is it a go or not. her name would be bindi and i think you would love her. she is 5yrs old. never had a home. dont get mad if i dont get on here as often like i used to... i love you forever and always my sweet sweet baby boy. love momma
july 20th- hey my baby; its me again. i wanted to thank you for going with me and sandra on our trip. i wore my bracelet with your picture on it. it kept me feeling safe and secure.. how do you like bindi? she was so calm on the plane just like you were.. i felt like it was you with me.. and i know without a doubt that you were flying with me .. i looked out the windows to see if i could find you... that was as close to heaven as i could get right now.. thinking about you all the time .. come see your momma... love ya

july 27th. good morning angel... i really could use your help with these 2 kids .. can you show them the ropes and teach them to play nice.. rhonda doesnt like bindi.. make her stop snarling at her. i look for you all the time and call mason by your name. thats how much i miss my baby. tell goofy hello for us and we talk to both of you all day. i play our song and music constantly in the car and kitchen. look for our candles tomorrow night and help me thru the days and nights sweet pea. for this momma loves you with all her heart an soul.. god has my baby in his hands to keep til i get there... love you momma

aug.6th- its me again baby ... i know that i dont write on here like i used to.. got so much going on and you see everything dont ya.. i miss you more than life itself and really wish that i was with you..especially after these last 2 months. i think about you all the time and talk to you.. i even call mason by your name. he reminds me of you in alot of ways. my heart is breaking every night because i miss you laying with me and jamming down the road even if its just to check the mail.. please come back to see me some more....... love always and forever, momma

august 11th for the 12th' happy birthday my baby; god how i miss you so so much... wish you were with me right now so i could hug and give you kisses all night long.. i dont want to do anything at all... rebel Please watch over bindi as she has her surgery tomorrow and let her know we wont hurt her ever.. make her understand please... i dont know how to tell you how much i love you except i let you go with god because i didnt want you to suffer any longer.. i waited until the last minute.. i am sorry for that but now you can run and play with goofy all day and night and eat anything you want without it hurting you.. no allergies to anything and watch over us until me and daddy get there... i will bring you sweet tea if i can... loving you always and forever momma
august 25th' please look out for the candles tonight my lil boy... i am lighting them for you... i miss and love you with all my heart rebel... please continue to look out for momma and daddy .. train these 2 monsters like you were trained with love and respect for one another... also watch out for the new babies that cross the bridge for they will be scared and lonesome til their mom and daddy comes for them.. dont forget to wait on my so that we can cross together... love u always; my heart and soul... momma

sept.. 15th.. i know its been awhile.. but i look at your picture everyday and talk to you.. you are forever in my heart and on my mind lil boy. i miis you so much its tearing me apart. i know you sent me mason but sweetpea he is not you.. he tries.. god how he tries.. sometimes when he turns to look at me ; i think it is you looking back . please come and visit as soon as you can.. i know your schedule is tight with all the babies to play with.. keep goofy an rufus company and never ever forget your momma... i will see you soon and we will run and play all day and night.. rest well my baby and think about us down here... thank you for loving me for 11yrs.. i will 4ever love you... momma

sept.22= i left you a candle my baby so that you will think of me always.. i know that i havent been on here alot but it hurts so much. when i try to talk to you i cant think and concentrate without breaking down.. i know that you wouldnt want me to be like this always down and out. but you are my heart and soul.. thank you for teaching mason the ropes to help me and bindi is coming along as well.. she was so mistreated and that was not allowed at our house was it my baby.. i wouldnt let anyone mistreat you.. rhonda and gerri say hi .. they are doing well and max and munky are not going good... please take care and play all day without pain or getting tired.. momma will see you guys soon.. love, momma

sept 29th. hey sweet baby. i feel like i am neglecting you because i dont write daily like i use to. but i talk to you everyday i walk this earth. i loved the dream the other morning it was wonderful seeing you play with mason and bindi.. no pain only play.. please come see me again for i long to hold you and kiss your sweet face .. please take care of all the babies coming you way. thanks for helping with mason and bindi.. they are becoming good babies but they can not and will not take your place in my heart.. love always and forever momma

Oct. 6th- hey lil boy. i miss you so much and dont know how to explain it to people. i talk to you constantly no matter where i am or who is around. mason just looks at me when i start doing our talks and playing our music. sometimes when he turns his head i see you there.. please remember me and all the love we shared together. for there will come a time that we will play and sing again. cant wait for that day to get here and in the mean time will you please tell these 2 to behave and quit acting like lil brats at times. me and daddy are having a hard time walking them for our strength is gone.. we miss you so so much and dont know what to do about it... at times... go rest for awhile and please come see me and tell goofy that we love him and miss him also... love forever and a day.... momma

october 13th hey sweet boy.. i thought we would switch it up tonite and eat some junk food.. we hadnt done that in along time.. i forget how to spell words so just bear with me baby.. i want to thank you for helping me thru my radiation treatments.. i felt your presence everytime i had to go. please continue to watch over me and daddy and your new brother and sister.. gerri and rhonda still look for you til this day. i know i do to.. why did you have to leave me baby.. i miss you so so much.. it hurts inside.. it feels like i cant breathe any more.. i put on an act for all to see.. but i am dying inside.. for you have taken my heart and soul and i cant seem to shake it loose to love again.. i try really i do baby but its not working.. i will continue for your sake because i know in my heart what you would want me to do.. i will continue on with mason and bindi BUT they are not you... you were and are my heart and soul and the reason i was breathing.. i love you forever and to the moon and back.. please take care of all the babies in heaven and remember to wait for me and we will cross that bridge when i get there.. love always, momma
october 20th... its been 7 lonely months baby since you left me... why did you leave me so soon... i know you had to go for god was calling you home and it would of been selfish of me to want you to stay.. boy how i miss your sweet kisses and smiles.. your wiggles when i come home and o god your sweet love.. please come visit me again and lets talk or sing or dance .. just us .. we can jam in the car like we used to do.. slow down the road with the windows down and the music turned up.. i love you rebel with every breathe in my body and soul.. take care of everyone til i get there. tell grandma i said hi and look after you for me.. she can introduce you to her babies and i heard she had a pet monkey.. let me know if you see it. lol.. love for now and always momma
October 26th- my baby boy i saw you yesterday.. in the presence of a butterfly; you circled above us and kept circling and going higher and higher til i couldnt see you anymore... please come back to visit me.. i really do miss you and i hope that i can rest a lil easier knowing that you are in the presence of god and he is taking such good care of you.. i look forward to some more signs that you are still with your momma.. please take care and remember to wait for me at the bridge... love always for you, momma
OCT. 31ST.. HEY SWEET BOY..I JUST HAD A LONG TALK WITH A NICE LADY AND SHE SAID YOU WERE FINE AND HAPPY.. I HOPE THAT IS TRUE.. FOR I WANT TO BELIEVE YOU ARE STILL WITH ME,ALWAYS. AND SHE SAID YOU PICKED OUT BINDI.. WELL THANKS ALOT FOR THAT JOKE...LOL.. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY BABY AND SWEET PEA. NEVER FORGET THAT FOR I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU.. PLAY WITH GOOFY AND RUFUS.. TELL GRANDMA AND GRANDMA MINNIE HELLO FOR ME AND I AM SORRY THAT I HADNT DONE THE FLOWERS YET. THIS WEEK FOR SURE PROB.. MONDAY.. TAKE GOOD CARE AND WAIT FOR ME AT THE BRIDGE , BABY. WITH LOVE , MOMMA O AND PLEASE SEND ME SIGNS EVERYDAY IF YOU ARE NOT TO BUSY... BYE LOVE

nov 10th .. hey my baby.. just left the ceremony .. hope that you are seeing my candles for i leave them burning for over an hr.. i look for you in the stars and sky. please come back for a visit .. even in my dreams.. tell grandma hi for me and that i love her.. wish you all would visit me for i am lonely alot even with these babies here.. still like i told your daddy its not the same.. cant wait to see your loving eyes and smell you.. i long to hold you again.. i cant stop crying for you.. did you send bindi or mason to me> o well i will love them like you expect me to and nothing less.. please live on in them for me so that i will know that it is you.. i know that each of you are special but dear god rebel i miss you.. will talk with you later... love forever and always,,, momma

nov. 17th hi sweetie... its me again. i have been constantly thinkin of you and cant stop crying wheni do it. please let me know that you are alright and not in pain .. the lady assured me that you were breathing better andi hope to god thats true. mason and bindi are doing better and for that i know i have you to thank. also i long to see you .. please look out for me on thursday for my surgery and make sure all goes okay.. i long to be with you BUT daddy needs me here to help take care of these babies that you have placed in our care.. i promise i will get on here more to talk with you because i can talk to you about everything and you dont judge me or anything i have to say.. i will play our songs tomorrow if i can remember it.. i love you always and forever till my last breath on earth.. my one and only love.... momma

november 20th well its been 8 long months baby since you left mommy and daddy.. the days seem to drag by.. we really miss you something fierce lil boy. the house is not the same but we are thankful that you sent these 2 lil ones to keep us company.. i dont know who rescued who.. they have been trying times and good times.. we have started to laugh a lil more and talk about you without breaking in tears.. everytime we see your picture or talk about you tho momma cries but its a good cry... then it hits me when i am alone or if our song comes on the radio.. come to me in my dreams sweet baby ... til later... love always, your mommy

nov 24th hi sweetie.. is see that you kept me here with daddy and the gang... i missed seeing you but i knew you were there with me during surgery for i could feel you with me all the time.. i love you my baby,,, please come visit me when you can. and please take care of the lil ones coming your way and make them feel welcome.. i love you always my baby.... love momma

nov.28th Happy thanksgiving my baby.. i miss you more today than i did yesterday if that is possible.. wish you were here to help me cook and sit with me in the kitchen.. I miss your loving eyes and sweet sweet kisses.. But i guess you and goofy are having a turkey of your own.. many kisses to you both and tell grandmas i love them and take care of you for me.. love for now, mommy

dec 6th= good morning sweetie pie... i really could use a friend right now and guess what? that friend is u always has been and always will be... can you talk some sense into your sisters for me... thanks now on to the things that matter... i miss you like crazy . do you see the christmas tree with the decorations .. i wish you were here to see it in person my baby, i dont know if i can get thru the holidays without you. its so hard... can you please let me know that it will be alright. that you are really okay.. dear god rebel i dont know if i can go on in life without you... missing your sweet face and kisses.... love momma

december 15th- i would like to thank you for the shooting stars the other night.. and also i fed the cat.. i dont knows whos cat it is.. bit i was told to feed it so i did.. now does that mean that i can actually get to see you.. i think i see your eyes in mason and sometimes bindi when its just me and her in a room.. she will have that look that you would give me and when she walks to the bedroom she will go part way and turn and look back just like you did baby telling me its time to lay down.. well i am trying to get thru the holidays because you would of wanted me to buy these guys toys and put them in bags like you received every year.. boy did you love to go thru the bags.... well i am going to try and make new memories with mason and bindi because i learnt with you that life is to short .. love them daily and every second because god can call them home anytime ... i love you rebel with my heart and soul and please keep waiting on me at the bridge.. love 4ever, momma

dec 22nd.. i really love you my baby and would like to visit with you for awhile.. did you see the bad fox today that came here ... it almost got your daddy.. and bindi managed to find the only frog in 80acres.. please tell her to quit eating the grass,weeds and frogs.. mason has a gentle stomach like you did.. really wish you were still here in the flesh. i know that you are here with mommy in spirit. i keep your stocking hung on the fireplace and it still doesnt feel like christmas.. what am i doing wrong.. please look for your candles burning bright in a lil bit as we light them for you and all the others at the bridge.. its fixin to be bad weather so hopefully the power holds on til its over with.. looking forward to you in my dreams and daily talks and walks... love you forever and ever my sweet pea... <3 mommy

december 24th & 25th- MERRY CHRISTMAS BABY..........Tell Goofy and rufus and ginger all of you to have a merry christmas and to come see me .. i look forward to seeing you at midnight.. cant wait.. i really hope santa was good to you all up at the bridge.. got lots of presents and toys to play with and yummy desserts and turkey... all the trimmings...... for you deserve it after putting up with me all these yrs,, love for now and always... mommy...

december 29th.. hi sweetpea.. loved the show on christmas eve .. the shooting star and then all the stars came out .. it was sweet.. i miss you like mad and will join you one day.. just never ever forget me.. you are never out of my thoughts.. we took you to ride on the workhorse and see inky yesterday.. hope you loved the ride.. we would of liked it better but bindi and mason never seen inky or the cows and barked their heads off.. can you please teach them to be more like you .. so easy going and quite..........lol. please come see me when you can take the time off playing with all the babies up there.. love you always and forever.... my angel rebel

january 5th,2015- look my baby its a new year,, please cant you come and play with me and sing... i wait for you everyday to come see me; i know you are here but i really would love to see and touch your sweet face once more.. please.. i long for you sweetpea.. tell god just for 5 minutes is all i need to hold me over for awhile.. i hurt sweetie.. so much.. god speed lil one and take care of all the babies that come your way.. play run and be happy and healthy til i get there and we will play again.. and sing and dance.... love always and 4ever mommy
Jan . 12th- hi sweetie pie; just wondering if you miss me like i really miss you... i talk to you and sing to you.. it seems like everything on tv or the radio reminds me of You... i cant help crying at the simplest of things.. i wish i could touch you once more and look into your eyes and just be with you . the 2 of us together once more... please come to me my angel and give me some peace in my heart... look for my candles tonite and remember mommy loves you so very very much.... xoxoxoxo mommy

january 18th- hey sweetie pie.. just a lil note to say i love you and miss you so much.. everyone here has gone nuts and dont care about no one but theirselves.. i wish i could just hold you and let you take me away from here.. lets go travel baby... i feel so alone without you... xoxoxoxo mommy

january 26th; good morning baby boy,, i bet you are having the best weather ever.. its cool here and windy. supposed to get real cold.. maybe not and it will be pretty the rest of the week. can you send us warm weather > i miss you sweet pea.. with every breath i take in my body. constantly thinking about you and what all we have been through together and since you left me here.. i talk to mason about you and everything we done.. music outside things places we seen and been.. how calm you were with all the things we did.. you were the sweetist baby a mom could ever ask for.. never complained or messed anything up.. you just went along for the ride and it was a great ride baby > just to short of one.. dont forget to look for the light coming from our house tonight .. and at 11 send me some fireworks or shooting stars.. i look for you all day and at night when i walk.. just gazing at the stars.. we are going to take you on another trip hopefully in june to a different country.. costa rica this time .. hopefully it will be peaceful like ecuador was for us.. we need some down time from this place.. love for now and all my heart for you.. mommy

feb 2- hey sweetie... i love you forever... me and daddy still think of you daily and sometimes hourly.. we watch these 2 and realize how much alike yall are.. we laugh and cry about you all the time.. we think about our vacations and drives.. just walking around the house and yard. thinking about how you done stuff... these two monsters have some rebel blood running thru them.. they act just like you did on some things.. please keep helping us train them like you were the sweetest and gentlest angel on earth and in heaven.. please wait for your mom and dad.. i want to see your sweet smile and loving eyes... love xoxoxoxoxo momma

Feb 9th- Hey sweet baby; missing you alot... thank you for helping train these 2 monsters.. we are starting to see an improvement in Bindi as she is letting us touch her alot without snapping at us.. Mason is just Mason and acts alot like you.. for that i am thankful.. i cant wait to see you again.. even if its in a dream or in these 2... i look for you in the clouds and sky and stars... i miss you and goofy so much .. never ever think you are not loved and missed... please keep loving me even tho you are at the bridge and look out for the new babies heading your way.. love for now sweetpea.... always and forever mommy xoxoxoxoxo

feb.16th good morning angel... how are you fairing up at the bridge.. remember me and daddy always sweet pea.. i told daddy that it was you last night with the light over my head in the yard... protecting me from the bad guys.. you are still loving and working with me.. iguess you know my news with the tumor again.. as always please watch over me so that i can help take care of mason and bindi.. i miss you and would like to be with you But right now they need me and i know that i will be with you when the time is right... God will see to that.. daddy needs me also and i know you love your daddy.. please watch over the new babies that come to the bridge and help them to adjust ... no pain and no medicene... thats the life isnt it sweetie.. run and play all you want til your hearts content... love always and forever ,,, momma

feb 23rd.. okay sweet baby.. i will have to be very careful what i ask you for...lol.. friday night i ask you for a shooting star and Boy did you send me one.. a big meteor .. it hit within 50miles of the house according to the news channels.. you are good sweetie.. but from now on just a lil one will do.. thank you for the sign though.. i miss you my precious baby. more than anyone will ever know.. it was so cold here this past week.. you an goofy i bet was playing at the beach there with all the other babies.. have fun and think about us often as you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers.. i love you my precious boy.. and god do i miss you.. dream with me tonight.. i love you Rebel.. momma

march 2nd.. hey baby.. i miss you so much and i love you forever.. just a note to say i love you and miss your sweet face and gentle kisses and smiles.. these 2 have been so much better and i know i have you to thank for that.. continue the good work with them.. and pray for me angel when i go to these drs the next couple of weeks.. i know you will be there to take care of me and stay be my side whatever happens. i seen you the other night get up from beside my pillow.. i just didnt say anything in case you run and hide. please come back and sleep beside me every night. bindi has been sleeping by my legs and side and in a way i think its you.. sleep well my baby for when i get there we will play from now to eternity.. love momma and daddy :)

march 9th- Hey my baby; hope all of my babies is playing and having a good ole time.. i miss each and everyone of you.. rebel you are my heart and soul and i am trying to be patient with these 2 you picked out.. sometimes they are trying me and i know when you step in to help.. for that i thank you.. please keep sending me signs and i really love the shooting stars at 11pm.. looking forward to one tonight a big one if you have it.. i love you with the last breath of my body and soul.. love for now... xoxoxox momma

March 19th- good morning sweet pea; Its been a lil while since i left you a message on here But i talk to you daily..Where did my shooting stars go to. I want to thank you for helping me this week go thru this radiation treatments, i wear your bracelet thru it alland nobody says a word about no jewelry.. I miss my baby so very much .. i look for you everywhere.. i keep playing our music and sometimes i hear you get on the bed late at night when everyone else is sleeping.. Dr Don says he thinks about you now and again and so does Gina.. She misses you also.. Have fun and play like crazy til i see you again and i will bring some sweet tea to wet your whistle.. play with goofy and rufus and ginger.. love you always and forever with every last breath of my body and soul.... xooxoxoxoxo love mommy

march 24th- i am sorry that i hadnt wrote you earlier baby.. its hard to do it now since you have been gone for a year.. seems just like yesterday for me when i held you in my arms. i seem fred yesterday and a big butterfly.. i mean that thing was huge.. i guess it was grandma minnie coming to check on us... i miss my sweet baby so much and everyone knows how hard its been for me. please come and visit me. i miss your sweet face so much sweetie.. continue to play with all the babies in heaven and know that before you know it i will be with you at the bridge. wait for me with goofy and rufus and ginger.. love for you always and forever.... xoxoxoxoxox mommy

march 30th... good early morning baby... sorry i am early today. but have lots to do today.. where did our summer go. maybe it will warm up in next few days and stay warm.. i will need all your strength today and for awhile it seems.. i might get to see you at 9 at the bridge site if i dont Please dont get mad.. its not intentional but i might have to sleep for abit.. always know i am thinking about you every second of my day and nights. i will try my hardest to get on here and talk with our people.. and at 11pm in the stars.. try and see all the candles everyone sends your way.. play with all the babies and you and goofy stay together dont get lost.. i know he has your back.. as you have mine.. i love you so much lil boy.. you will never know how much... love forever and always.... mom xoxoxoxoxo

april 6th hey my baby boy.. god how i wish you were here... this life is such a mess.. everyone is showing out and getting in trouble.. BUT if you were here i wouldnt care about them.. i would focus only on you... i need you to come back in my life to where i know you are here.. my sweet sweet baby.. i need you so so bad..... i look for you in the sky and stars....i need to touch and feel you and smell your sweet scent...
please come to me baby... all my love forever and always....xoxoxoxmommy

april 13th- hey sweet boy... how are you doing up there waiting for momma... tell goofy and everyone that i love them very much and will see them soon... tell grandma hello for me and i am trying to keep everyone out of trouble But its not working... rebel give your sweet thoughts to william for awhile and guide him to do whats right.. i miss you so much my baby... mason has acted so much like you today.. laying on me on the swing and putting his head on daddys legs while doing it.. we both miss you so so much.. no one knows how much we love you... please keep on coming to see me and i dont care how you do it.as long as i know its you... butterflies stars a look mason gives me... love always,, mom

april 20th; hey baby; as i walk around the yard i see things that are still like we left them.. the bucket and rake by the camper and different things in the house.. its hard to look at but then again... i remember the fun we had in the yard.. you just laying and relaxing while i rake then we load them in the bucket and take to the chickens.. god i wish i could get those days back.. we had alot of good times and will have many more in the future that i look forward to.. remember to take very good care of all the babies that show up and look for mommas candles tonight... send me a star and some butterflies.. tell grandma minnie and grandma that i said hi and give goofy sugars from us.. tell rufus that i still talk about him also... missing you more and more each day. Love you til the last breath of my body is gone and then some.. mom

april 27th- momma's lil man i miss you so much. i look for you all day and night.. wish i could feel you against me again and hear you blow in my ear again.. i take a piece of you with me at all times.. in a necklace your urn or just your sweet face in my dreams.. you are the first thing i think about and the last before i sleep. i long to touch you once again.. remember when i get there at the bridge we will play all day and night and nobody gets tired hungry or hurts.. it will be heaven sweetie.. mason has so many of your good traits and you are training him and bindi so well.. remember to make them mind when we all go on our trip.. you are always going with us.. tell everyone i said hello and that i miss them terribly... keep playing with the babies and welcome them all with open paws.. always show your sweet love... xoxoxo momma

may 4th... hey sweetie.. i miss you... looking forward to seeing your star... and i think tomorrow i will always carry food in my car to give to a homeless baby on the street.. i hate to see one go hungry dont i baby. can you please watch over me and cathy for the next couple of days... she is having problems and i am going to surgery tomorrow and as always you are my happy place.... cant wait to dream with you... love you always and forever and would you mind giving goofy and rufus sugar for me.... gerri an rhonda look for you all the time.. they love mason But he isnt you... we talk to each other about you and what you are doing and where you are at... i am always finding something of yours... its fine.... its your and always will be... love you always xoxoxoxo mommy.... keep singing with that sweet voice of yours....

may 11th- my lil boy... mommy misses you so so much... think about me like i think about you all the time.. you are my happy place, you helped me get thru my surgery and keep me going... thank you for also taking care of daddy , mason and bindi... you are training them well and teaching them to respect lil wyatt and play nice.. how is goofy and rufus and grandma's? Do they talk to you and play nice with you... what about all the other babies.. do you play with them and show them the ropes.. i miss your sweet kisses and eyes that shine to the moon and back.. please keep coming and seeing us also bring on the butterflies and such... i wish i could give you lots of hugs and sugar in real life just one more time... i love you with all my heart and soul, lil baby...... love momma xoxoxoxo

may 18th- hey sweetie.. you had a nice message today from a loady named Pam,,, so you know her baby Scout? I miss you so much and hope that you dont know time... I dont want you to miss me like you did here at the house.. may you play with the babies and not realize how long we are apart. enjoy playing baby because when i get there i want you to myself . getting all your sugar...cant wait to see you in my dreams and the stars... watch for my candles tonight baby boy ,,, and jerri and stumpy is here for the night... mason and bindi say hi .... daddy loves you also.. tell goofy and rufus we love them to... keep grandma safe and laughing... love for now.... xoxoxoxoxoxxoo momma

may 25th- hey sweetie; its me again.. just a line or two to say i miss and love you to pieces... how are you and the gang doing.. i miss you so much its killing me....i dont know what to do anymore... its lonesome and mason acts like he is getting sick or something is wrong with him..can you help him to get better to where he will play with me... tell goofy that i will clean his area up soon.. i am sorry that it has gotten away from me.. we just dont have any energy lately to do things... give everyone sugar for me and please come see me again... love you always and forever and ever... xoxoxox :) mom

june 1st... hey baby... i miss you and really could use your help to calm me down... everything is happening around here... only you can calm everyone.. bindi plays ball all the time and is getting alittle better at the petting without snapping at us.. mason is just so laid back like you ... and loving BUT he isnt you and he tries so hard... cathy is having bad luck all the time.. it seems everything goes wrong.. william is being stupid with lueanne and i dont honestly know where its gonna go and how its gonna end.. probably not good.. please look over all the babies here on earth and dont let them be mistreated if you can help it..only you and the one at the bridge can stop people from being so mean... i guess yall can come down and give them a good scare if you please... it would please me greatly to see you and all my babies... i love you lil man so much it hurts me to talk about it.... i will try and see your star tonight with good weather... love you always and forever... xoxoxoxoxooxox mommy

june 8th- hello baby boy... i was watching the saddest thing on tv... it was a guy named farmtruck that lost his baby loiuse... after 14yrs.. she done stuff with him just like we did and it was so sad watching him tell his friends about losing her.. and then his best friend went and got him another baby to help get thru his pain... and he described it perfectly... their is and always will be a hole in our soul that only you can fill.... thats how i am feeling without you... so think about your mom missing you like mad,baby and i will always be with you in my heart and soul... please come see me when ever you can and dream with me and we will be together in our dreams... i love you always rebel with mind heart and soul... tell God to take extra care of you since you helped alot of people while you were here .... tell goofy rufus and grandma gladys hi for me and grandma minnie that i seen her butterfly again... i love seeing them... wait for me sweetie... xoxoxo mommy

june 15th- just a note to say i love you so so much... i miss you every second of the day.. cant you come see me today or tonight.. dont forget we are going out of town and i need you to accompany us.. it is another plane ride and you will need sunscreen.. i will provide the love and food... i need some of your sweet sugar.. you will be sitting on my lap and helping me and daddy keep mason and bindi in check,please... make them ride on the plane just like you done, no one knew that you were on the plane.... tell goofy and everyone else that they are welcome to go with us..... are you playing alot with the other babies.. and showing them around.. how is grandma's.. all 3 of them... tell goofy and rufus that i think of them often... ok will light your candles later tonight... i love you more than life itself, angel boy... xoxo mommy

june 29th- hey sweetie... i am sorry that i didnt get to you last week... our vacation was a disaster.. i asked PG to light candles for me and i guess he did because it was the brightess sky i have ever seen last monday night.. it lit up the world.. Please accept my sincere apology for not being on and also my lil computer would not work.. i was so upset.. But its a new week and i hope it will go better that the last one.. can you watch out for wyatt at jerris and lil remi on the way... play at the bridge with sir hammy mctavish and colin our lil angels that left all of us in pain as you also did.. we miss you so much baby and i dont know how much more that i can take... my love to you always and give goofy and rufus a big sloppy kiss from all of us and sleep by my side tonight and jump up and down on the bed... to where i will know its you... love for now and always, mommy xoxoxoxoxo
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july6th- hey my baby boy... Will you and goofy please watch over lil baby at the hospital.. over see it in all ways possible.. she needs a miracle to happen and i think its you guys.. tell grandmas to help also.. whisper in Gods ear to heal this baby.. cathy has so much on her plate already i dont think she can handle anything else... Also come and see me both of you guys.. i miss you so so much sweetpea.. i look for you everywhere , even in the clouds from the plane wondering what it must feel like to have a view like that at all times.. it was beautiful.. never have i seen such pretty blues in the water... and places out in the middle of nowhere.. I will look for you in my dreams lil man like always .. i love you forever and a day.....love mommy xoxoxoxo :)

july 13th- hey baby... how are you doing today? I am lonely and miss you something fierce... can you come visit me for awhile.. i really need to see, touch and feel you close to momma right now... i am slowly loosing it... daddy dont know what to think of me anymore.. and frankly i dont either.. i can think write spell or concentrate on things that i need to be... mason and bindi dont understand either.. can you keep helping them with their training and learning things... please... i really need the help ... they honestly try and i guess that i am doing stuff wrong with them.. they learn and then they forget.... guess its the westie in them and they are nothing like you sweetie.. all sugar and lil spice ... rebel was and always will be the best in my heart and soul... you are my love... xoxo mommy

july 20th I love you sweetie and I am trying to get used to this new computer ... lol... I really would love to see you more often.. I tell every butterfly that I love you. do you get my message.. how is goofy doing and rufus are they playing nice with everyone.. and protecting you or are you the protector.. you will always have my heart and soul.. daddy ordered me some of our special music last night. and I will play it everyday in your honor.. please sing to me like you used to do.. mason tries and its sweet sounding and music to my ears.. come dance with me baby... always and forever only you..... mommy xoxoxoxoxo
july 27th hey baby.. I love you.. I miss you so so much... thank you for helping mason and bindi this week and today at the vet... mason needs to drop some weight and I look for you to help him.. they will have a new dr next month for itching problems.. maybe you can help us with that also.. I know that I put a lot on your shoulders but baby you are my sunshine and best baby in the world. and I look to you to help me so much.. know that I cant wait to go see you at the bridge and we can play forever and ever.. tell goofy rufus and grandma that once we get there .. its playtime... I look for you in my dreams everynight and to the stars and moon.. it just came out two nights ago for the first time in a long time.. because of the weather.. I feel like we all have web feet and are ducks... remember my angel visit me and I talk to butterflies telling them I love you.. do they go and tell you... I hope so... kissed to all of you my angels... love forever and always.... mom xoxoxoxoxox

aug. 3rd 2015- its been a long 16months without you my special angel.. i dont know how long i can keep going on without you.. i try to keep my chin up and a smile on my face, but its hard.. if it wasnt for these nice people on this site i wouldnt be here... i would be with my special boy.. i look to you in the stars at night and beside my pillow for you .. please come see your momma.. for i miss you so much.. its hard to do certain things for thinking that i done the same for my rebel... i love you and always will forever... tell goofy and rufus to think about me because i see things and think about them.. i even laugh sometimes at the things they got into... goofy and inky rufus and the irrigation... rebel and momma singing in the kitchen and our special ride just down to the end of the road and back... jamming... i miss those sweet days and cant wait to do it again with you sweetie... love for now...xoxoxoxoxo mommy

august 10th- Happy Birthday sweet pea... I love you so very much and miss you every second of the day.. please walk with me once again and sing with me.. I miss you singing to our music.. thank you for helping mason thru his surgery today.. you really love helping people and for that alone I thank you from the bottom of my heart.. please also look over Gina's mom while she is in hospital. gina still talks about what a good boy you are.. and there can never be another such as you. so thoughtful and gentle soul. all people had to do was look into your beautiful eyes and boy when you smiled and twisted sideways while doing it.. that was my world. I love you and hope that you visit us whenever and how ever many times you can (when you are not playing) of course... I figured out it was you waking me up at 320 am ... I love you so much too,,, love for now.... xoxoxoxo mommy
august 24th- im sorry im late writing to you but i couldnt remember my log in... you know how bad i am with electronics...lolxoxoxox
i miss you sweet baby of mine.. how is everyone doing at the bridge.. did you see granma gladys and granma minnie.. i had a dream about them last night with aunt ruth and it was a doozy.. dont want to do that again.. i got lost.. when are you coming to see me... soon i hope and i know that you are the reason that lil weston is still alive and kicking some.. he is having surgery wednesday; can you keep an eye out for him and keep him safe.. he had a hard time last surgery.. try and go with me , mason and bindi wednesday for their appt in gainesville.. it will be just us 3 unless you join us which i hope you will and tell them its okay to stay calm for momma and the drs.. it will be our treat to have you with us.. i never cleaned my car windows of your paw prints or nose prints.. everyone knows not to touch them... its mine and yours.. love to you so much baby,,, kisses always and forever..... love your mommy..... sing my some pink baby.....

sept. 7th- i know im late writing you and im sorry sweetie... its been a long couple of weeks... for that im doubly sorry.. but i send you candles every week and i hope you see them and point them out to everyone.. tell goof and grandma hello for me and i miss them.. pretty butterflies have come this past week; do you know who sent them? i miss you more than life itself.. thank you for helping me give these 2monsters a bath.. bindi done real well and didnt draw blood this time.. had to take them to a specialist and you were right there with us all on the trip in the car.. thats the only way i knew they settled down.. i remember when you, zoi, motley and cathy went with me to petsmart on a trip.. we remembered all our trips this past week .. laying in bed thinking about where all we went and how you did.. never any trouble and pointed out bad ppl to us... keep watching out for us and lil weston ... i love you my maitai.... xoxox mommy

october 24th... i know its been to long and im sorry.... i hope max found you and goofy waiting for him on thursday.. He was just tired and was heading goofys way when i found him... guess he didnt want me and daddy to have to tote him far... tell him im sorry... :( how are you my sweet angel? im missing you more this past couple of weeks and couldnt bring myself to get on here.. for that im sorry.. i see you alot in these 2 babies and wonder ??? could it be?? did you hand pick mason and bindi.... yep think so.. mason has your eyes and sweetness... bindi your mischeveous... playfulness and talks boy does she talk.. they love sitting outside doing nothing just like you when we would rake... your rake and bucket is still where me and you left it... no one is to touch it... can you come back for a visit soon... tell everyone i love and miss them... keep looking for us... and when i get there...please just run to me.....i need to hold you again...........love always and forever

Dec 1st... dont know where some of our talks went baby... i hope you understand why i hadnt been on the candlelight service lately.. it just hurts so much... it kills me ..knowing i cant see you everyday and i know you see me .. its different baby... i am trying to love these 2 like i do you ... but they arent you... i love them dont get me wrong... i dont wont to take away attention from them and feel like i should be there all the time for them... i sometimes find myself distancing from them... i am afraid of getting to close.. and thats not fair to them... im sorry for not being there for you on mondays and feel guilty... but i know you understand... if anyone does...its you... Bindi seen you the other night and was barking at ya... then daddy said she was trying to give you her rope to play... i love that you helped me with them .. and always by our side... i miss you so dang much sweet pea..tell grandma and goofy and max and the rest of our gang ..Merry Christmas and that no one is in pain any longer... god i love you so much.... please continue to give me sugar... always and forever.... Mommy

Dec.21st- i love you my baby.... its so hard to celebrate without you here.. i hung your stocking as usual and put up our lil tree with your ornament ... im taking dr don and gina a pound cake tomorrow.. its the least i can do for all the help they have done for us these past 12yrs.. and more...really... can you tell mason and bindi in the language they understand that i love them with my whole heart.. you always have my heart and soul... but i have to share some... please take care of everyone and do you see max goofy and thor... please say hi..... i love you always and forever and a day... shine for me my angel.... love momma xxxxoooxxxxx
Jan...1st 2016= happy new yr. baby... didnt want to celebrate at all..not in the mood.. know why? YOU AREN'T with ME.. in my heart you are.. but not to where i can touch and smell you.. i did the hardest thing 2 days ago.. i took your pillow out of your lil house to wash it and cant bring myself to actually put it in the washer... i dont clean your nose prints off my car windows either.. I miss you and love you to pieces with everything my body and soul has left to give.. mason and bindi keep my occupied.. somedays i do good but others just want everyone to disappear.. How are you and goofy and maxx doing? playing alot with all the other babies... hope you get lots of food and hugs from all ... love you for ever and ever .... xoxooxoxoxoxo mommy

march 19- My sweet baby boy... i am so sorry that i havent been on here ... mommy is heart broken.. my love for you is so strong and i hurt... i havent been on the ceremony site for awhile either because it hurts to be socialable... i wish that you could come home to me.. i know you are probably playing with all the babies and having fun... no pain or medicenes... enjoy it baby... i look forward to seeing you at the bridge.. i hope that you got to see joey feek when she went home... she is such a beautiful lady... so how is is max and goofy doing.. are they playing nice with you... tell grandmas hello for us and that we missed and love them also... come and visit me soon my sweetie pie... i love you always and forever..... xoxoxoxoxox mommy

april5th- my sweet angel how i miss you every single day.. i walk around outside and remember all the good times and places we would go and visit..i could write abook on things we did in life..I am having a hard time doing some things and monday night ceremony is one of them and for that im sorry. I cant keep reliving some things and losing you is one of them.. i am proud and loved every second we had together. but we are going to have many more in the future arent we. Tell goofy and max hello from momma and daddy.. tell the grandmas we also said hi.. Play and run free my baby .. dont forget to wait for me and daddy; we will be bringing your brother and sister "Mason and Bindi: with us.. you will love them.. Gerri and Rhonda miss yu so much.. they still look for you everywhere..Love for now.... Momma oxoxoxoxoxox
april 30th.... hey baby... i miss you more and more with each passing day... cant seem to get through a day without thinking about you lil boy. momma and daddy would love a visit from you and goofy... cant you manage that for us.. please come see me.. and make sure that i see you........... bindis got your smile down pat... i love you forever and ever .. please dont forget that or me... cant wait to see and feel you again..our vacation spot got hit hard by the earthquake... alot people we know had their home ripped out ... so when they get it together again... we will go visit and take you with us... love you always my love..... momma and daddy xoxoxoxox
July 1st.... Hey my sweetie pie... I know its been awhile... Im sorry.. I love you to the very last breath in my body... Can you keep a watch over lil weston.. he is back in hospital again.. Wish you would come visit me to where i know YOU are here.. I miss you jumping on the bed and walking with me in the yard.. just being able to smell and feel you again.. will get me by for awhile.. How is everyone doing up there... Tell goofy and grandma Hello for me.. Its all i can do to put one foot in front of the other... a little help will be much appreciated..I see your name all over the tv this year.. its always rebel this and rebel that.. is that you saying Hi mommy??? I always feel you around me when it happens... Please take care and have some fun and play.. I LOVE YOU MY BABY BOY.. hugs and kissed..... xoxoxoxoxoxoo mommy

august 16- im sorry that i didnt wish you a happy birthday.. it hurt to bad But i realize now that it was selfish of me.. im sorry for that and wish you a belated happy birthday.. hope you celebrated with goofy and max and your new friends.. i am trying to go forward with what i have now.. which is your brother and sisters... and i will always have your heart with mine no matter what.. nobody can take that away from me EVER.. i will always be looking up from now on and i hunt you in the sky ... please come visit when you can.. i think you did on your bday.. thought Bindi was you for a minute and had to keep adjusting my eyes... i love you my baby for ever and ever always,,,, mommy

mY lOVE March 3/2017 i am ever so sorry for not getting on here in so long.. my heart is forever broken and i dont know how to heal. i try really i do.. Bindi and Mason has helped ease the pain BUT not fully. I am for ever grateful to you for showing me how to live life. for that i am helping these 2 monsters live. if you ever see grandma gladys and grandma minnie please tell them hello and i love them ... im sure that you and goofy helped me recover from my surgery because i sure do remember calling your names. please come to visit me whenever you can and i hope you are enjoying playing and running without any pain. love to you for ever and ever...xoxoxo mommy

march 21st... I miss my baby ... its been 3 lonely yrs since you left me ... i look for you everywhere... in the house the yard in mason and bindi.... several times i think i seen you but when i looked again .. i couldnt find you.. i guess you live on in heart forever and always.. which is fine with me... always in my heart on my mind.. im letting you rest on our bed now.. next to me as i sleep at night and some in the days.... i look forward to seeing you in the future .. take care of goofy and max and remember to play and run like the wind sweety...love for now, mommy

March 20th 2018
hi my baby how are you and daddy doing.. did he find you okay or did you have to go look for him...lol are you both walking and talking. hopefully no pain and lots to see and do. daddy went so fast just like you did... im holding down the fort until its my time to run and play with you... is there anything i need to bring with me.i miss you daily and cant wait to see you and daddy again. Mason and Bindi gets more loving everyday, can you tell daddy that they smile just like you... that elvis smile;lol please give goofy max and munky a hug for us... hope you like the changes im trying to do to the house to get out the dust and harmful items..
you REBEL are my heart and soul and never ever forget that.... no other can take your place for they have their own spot in my heart... when im down i will have a complete heart...
love to you all; mom

Feb. 27/2019 im sorry that i havent been on here but my heart is broken beyond repair.... i miss you and daddy more than anything . mason and bindi takes turns sleeping on daddies pillow with their head on the night stand looking towards you and daddy.... they are lonesome too.. i try to replace yall with playing with them constantly an also gerri and rhonda.... right now all is inside because of all things its sprinkling/not thundering.... can yall come visit me and tell daddy that im trying to get the house repaired like he wanted... and also can you look over my wade garett..... thanks an i really miss and love you so much............ MOMMY

March 20 Well sweet pea its been 5 long yrs since you left me here..... how is daddy goofy max munky and the rest of the gang... are yall waiting on us and playing everyday.... no pain at all... for any of you... run my baby and enjoy life there because when i find you i want you to myself for awhile Just to hold and breathe you in..... tell daddy I miss and love him so much.... why did yall quit coming to see me......... I think mason and bindi can see you and daddy but not me.... :( that leaves me so sad... i really need to see and talk to you......... its lonesome here... i try to go on with life but dag gum its so hard to put on a smiling face and act like im okay all the time to people... I AM NOT OK...... I miss you........ think about me and the babies once in awhile.... i always think of you especially when i hear our songs.... love always mommy
June 6,2022
I wish you could be with me all the time to where i can see, touch an feel your body and heart.. thank you for taking care of bindi when she needed. for she joined you today..play with her and love her like we do.