12-7-16 It;s been almost a year but I still miss you little buddy. So much is happening here, I wish had you to make some of it feel better. Thanks for being my steady companion for so many years.|
1-14-16 I have to say goodbye to a sweet soul who has been by my side through good times and bad over the past 10 years. When I first saw Ray, he was sitting very still inside his cage at Poodle Rescue Houston. The sign said he was a "senior" and that he had special needs. No one could tell me how old he might be - best guess was 6 to 8 years old. He was blind, his teeth were seriously decayed and, we were to find out later, he had severe anxiety and separation issues.
He bonded with me almost immediately. He bonded to me so quickly that he excluded everyone else in the family, which eventually became a problem because I couldn't leave him at home. The family was not happy. Who knows what Ray had experienced in his previous life, but it seemed he grasped onto this new life and off we went.
We moved from Houston to Sedona and Ray made the trip with me, our other dog Peppy and a friend. He also traveled with me, the Peppy and Janna to visit Jesse in California. Ray was a trooper through it all. However his primary role when we got to Sedona early on was to be a comfort to our elderly, dying Peppy. Ray was there at the end and provided the comfort Peppy needed.
Ray has been by my side through thick and thin. When I had my accident in 2012, I was actually returning home earlier than planned because Ray wasn't feeling well. Actually, he had a couple neurological events a month previously that took away any vestige of sight he may have held onto over the years and he became more confused than ever.
I've thought about this day many, many times. I've visualized what it would be like, but when it happens it's still a shock. Right now I'm in a daze. I've found myself completely breaking down just at the thought of being without Ray. Even now as I think about what will happen in the coming hours I feel horrible.
I know that it's time. When quality of life deteriorates to the point where he just stands with his head against the wall for hours, or wanders in circles, stumbling all the while because he's lost so much weight, then it's time. He has been a gentle soul who has given me unconditional love and acceptance, trusting his life to someone he could never see, but who he knew, from his other senses, would keep him safe.
I'm going to miss you my little buddy.
Please also visit Peppy.