"In Loving Memory of...."|
Creator of all things,
Thank you for having
Entrusting me with
Such a loyal friend!
Thank you for letting
This beautiful animal
Teach me unselfish love!
Thank you for the memories
I can recall,
To brighten my days
For the rest of my life!
Finally, in gratitude,
I return my cherished
Companion to You!
RIP BABY BOY
Until we meet again....We're together forever in spirit and bound at the heart!
I sit here with a shattered heart...trying to process how we were suddenly confronted with "goodbye". Forced to make the decision to let you go. Oh, how I begged for an alternative treatment. I couldn't imagine life without you. You are the reason I am who I am today! You were the only one in my life who taught me unconditional love, faithfulness, loyalty, and true companionship! Thank you for your unending love and support. Thank you for spending your lifetime with me! I'll always miss you and love you. Thank you for being my sweet little furbaby. I'm so blessed to have been your Momma! You taught me that LOVE is a four legged word! You was a made-to-order gift from Heaven above to spread God's great, loving heart with me! Greif has became my closest friend. Overwhelmed with emptiness and pain. Your absence fills this room with cold and empty space! Silence has replaced the joy you gave my life. Thank you for the memories and brightening my life! I'm grateful for the time I had with my beloved companion pet! Thank you for showing me what family feels like!
I miss you so much! My entire life revolved around you and now, from the time I wake up until I go to bed there is an empty space, in every moment, that only you could fill! Memories of you are everywhere and in everything I do, everything I see and in every thought I have. That old saying that says something like, " You never know how much you love someone (something) until their gone". I know one day things will get a little easier to cope with and manage. But, until then, all I can do is hang on...hang on to the beautiful relationship we shared...hang on to the memories we created together.... hang on to the unconditional love you showed me...hang on to the broken pieces of my world. Because, one day my existence will stop spinning out of control and I'll be able to begin to put things back in place. Until then, I'll just hang on....until....
The question keeps rolling through my mind and heart, Why???
Please tell me, Why did our time together get abruptly cut short???
I'd give anything for you to come home, Puppy!
Please, Puppy come home...
Missing you is one of the toughest thing I've had to do, Puppy!
I miss you more than you'll ever know!
Tomorrow marks one week to the day I came home from the hospital so excited to get home to only to find you in critical condition and dying!
I was in complete shock.
I still am!
Well, another night has passed by. I made it through.... Hanging on!
A week ago today I found my sweet little boy dying on my living room floor!
The shock of that moment stings the same!
Another day.....hang on Tawnya, you're Puppy Prince has faith in you and loves you!
OK, here I go....
"A Pet's Prayer"
My people are so precious, Lord; I know You think so too...
And, I believe You put me here to love them just for You!
They take such gentle care of me, And have such tender hearts...
Please use me, Lord, To comfort them whenever teardrop's start!
They face a lot of battles as they live and work each day...
They need me, Lord, to make them smile, and show them how to play!
The world is full of people,
But,sometimes real friends are few...
Please let my LOVE and LOYALTY remind them, Lord, of You!
And, when my final moment comes, Lord, tell them as we part...
"I was a made-to-order gift from Your great, loving heart"
I always said God knew what he was doing when He blessed my life with my amazing companion pets! He definitely used then to reveal His pure and honest love to my broken life!
When I came across this poem it resonated in my soul.
If only, Puppy was here to comfort these tears!
Well, I got out of the house to spend a little time with my family today. In days past, I'd be overjoyed and excited for such a time. I knew it would be good for me and I really need to go. But, inside I didn't want to go at all. We did have some nice "family time" and I did my best to enjoy myself.
While it felt like I was dying inside from the weight of grief and loss...I tried my best to have a pleasant demeanor on the outside. I did pretty good, I guess. Considering, this sorrow has penetrated every fiber of my being.
I noticed time and time again....one constant....I was continually thinking of Puppy and crying on the inside. No matter how hard I tried to get him off my mind, I couldnt. Every moment another situation would arrive that reminded me of him. The emptiness and silence of his absence continually screams in my face at every turn. Several times I couldn't hold back and tears started flowing. Nobody noticed. I guess I hid it well behind my sun glasses.
Does anyone actually understand how incredibly difficult this is for me right now. The weight of this pain is unbearable. Its a nightmare I can't wake up from! Its my reality!
I wish I had the freedom to share my heart, so I can begin to move towards the healing process.
I realize there are circumstances in life that make people very uncomfortable. And, this is one of them. Think for a minute about the individual consumed with grief, so heartbroken they can hardly breath. How much more uncomfortable is it for them to continue to suffer in silence among those who are plenty capable of loving and supporting them into releasing some of the bottled up emotion and getting a little relief, instead of pretending to be OK for the sake of an uncomfortable situation?
Instead of ignoring the pink elephant in the room, confront that giant and remove the barrier of avoidance and temporary discomfort.
Make some room to lend a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on for a few minutes. It could have made a world of difference.
You see, its one thing to feel what you feel. But, its another, to make your feelings known. Advice isn't necessary at all, just support.
To have someone willing to press into the temporary discomfort and walk through this heartache with me for a little while is what I need more than anything else in the world today!
Without, proper support a person cannot heal as well as they would with it. "Giving my loss expression" and "making my feeling known" are keys to moving through this struggle, allowing a release and making room to move towards healing, one step at a time.
The more an individual can make their feeling known, the faster they will heal and more completely. Sounds like a win, win to me!
On the other hand, suppressing feelings and pain associated with grief and loss, may cause one to find themselves stuck somewhere in the midst of the process, depressed, unable to find a way out!
That right there sounds like torture!
This is way too painful to become stuck here!
Where emptiness and numbness have replaced fulfillment and contentment.
While my soul is aching unbearably and my heart is seemingly null and void of the love, joy, peace and happiness it once had before my beloved companion died!
I want to do my best to work through this process, mindful of the process and allowing myself to properly grieve over Puppy.
I want do whatever it takes to come out on the other side of this life event truly healed and capable of what ever my future holds for me.
Instead of ignoring the process or pushing down the pain or rushing the process and hindering the healing process. All that would do is save some of the pain for a future date. Adding extra baggage to your journey!
I read this the other day....
"Grief is not measured in time but when the heart is dry of tears and your mind comes to acceptance, you will begin to heal."
My heart isn't dry of tears and my mind hasn't come to acceptance yet but it will.
Today my heart is full of sorrow and my mind hasn't overcome the shock. I have a ways to go.....but, I will get there, one moment at a time!
Its been one week.....I'm speechless!
Another night has passed and I wake up empty and alone! Missing you every second. I keep my tablet next to me open to your memorial page while "faithfully" plays over and over. It sort of helps me feel closer to you. I snuggle with your stuffed dog and monkey! My heart is so broken words fail me right now! Just hanging on......without you! Love, MOMMA
"PRESENCE OF YOUR ESSENCE"
I wake up in the morning
With a sense of longing,
I wish you about
As I walk our route, with a "skweek-skweek" in my pocket,
That is now my locket.
I feel your essence-
I miss your presence!
Your toys in the room
Have an aura of gloom,
Your bedding now cold
From lack of your hold,
The cookies that I bought
They remain in their spot.
I feel your essence-
I miss your presence!
The sound of your brush
Now forever is hushed,
Your leash remains still
But against my will,
The sound of your pant,
Hear it? I can't!
I feel your essence-
I miss your presence!
Your bark of protection
Your inquisitive expressions,
Your affection licks,
Your mischievous tricks,
These all comprise your aura of essence,
Oh, how I miss your four legged presence!
"Waiting at the door"
I was just a pup when we fist met,
I loved you from the start.
You picked me up and took me home,
And placed me in your heart.
Good times we had together,
We shared all life could throw.
But years passed all too quickly,
My time has come to go.
I know how much you miss me,
I know your heart is sore.
I see the tears that fall when
I'm not "Waiting at the door"
You always did your best for me,
Your love was plain to see.
For even though it your heart
You set my sprint free.
So please be brave without me,
One day we'll meet once more.
For when you're called to Heaven,
I'll be "Waiting at the door"
Maybe in distance,
But, never in heart!
Another day without you!
Prince I miss you more than words could ever say!
It sort of feels like my heart is shutting down.
The pain is so much to bare!
RIP baby boy!
I'm just without words.
Brokenhearted I long for my sweet little companion!
Good morning, Puppy Prince!
Another night has passed without you!
Since we parted ways its so difficult to do anything I used to do.
I hate getting out of bed. This empty apartment is so lonely and cold.
I go to bed with a heavy heart and wake up the same!
I miss you so much, my baby boy!
Kiss daddy Elvis for Momma, please!
I love my boys, forever and ever!
It's been 10 days and the shock is finally beginning to subside. Unfortunately, it feels like I'm shutting down mentally and emotionally. Maybe, this is just phase two of the grieving process.
Good morning Puppy Prince and furbaby family!
I think I'm beginning to get over the shock of suddenly having to put you down, my baby boy!
Although, my pain is still great and all consuming, it looks like one day this will pass!
Puppy in honor of you, I'll be in search of a little doggy that needs me and I can share my life with.
I think that would be OK with you and what you would want me to do.
I'm trying to wait until the time is right and for the right little dog!
I miss you terribly and love you forever,
My sweet little buddy!
I can't seem to function without you, Prince!
No desire to do anything!
Loneliness has consumed me!
Oh, Puppy Prince!
I went to visit the spot I laid you to rest.
It was my first visit!
I miss you, buddy! Love, Momma
Its been a few days since I've posted! As you already know, mommy will always love and miss you! You were the most special little angel from Heaven above!
I know you want me happy and to move into a new season of life with love and joy!
In honor of you and your daddy, Elvis, I've adopted a little guy from "doggy jail", the humane society. He is a very sweet little guy named Mini-Man. He has had a rough past and needs your momma's love. He has really bonded to your mommy and we definitely need each other. Puppy Prince, you know you are forever etched into my heart and can never be replaced. Thank you for being my sweet little buddy and please whisper into Mini-Man's ear your blessings as we adjust together in this season of our lives!
Mommy and Mini-Man
This is my first Thanksgiving in 12 years without you baby boy! I miss you so much! But, I'm grateful you're not suffering anymore!
And, I'm grateful for my new little buddy, Mini-Man, to help ease my pain.
You would really like him, Puppy Prince, he is very playful and reminds me so much of your daddy, Elvis!
He could never, ever replace you!
You will always be my special Puppy!
In this new chapter of my life Mini-Man and I really need each other!
Momma is helping him overcome his painful past.
He is learning to trust people again and given the circumstances....
We bring each other much needed love and joy.
Although, today is exceptionally difficult without you!
I love you forever and always baby boy!
Another week without you baby boy!
The past couple days have been exceptionally difficult and Momma is crying a lot! Tuesday marked 4 weeks (28 days) since I was forced to let you go!
One month ago today (the 30th of October) I came home from the hospital to you dying!
Halloween we said goodbye! Oh how I wish it wasn't so!
Yesterday, Momma visited your grave and said a prayer!
I'm trying so hard to move on without you and move through my pain and grief!
I think of you everyday and miss you horribly!
This is the first holiday season without my Puppy!
I'll be glad when it's over!
I'm not into it this year!
Although, I plan on going to Grammies and cooking a ham!
Oh how I wish you would be there!
I'll do my best without you, baby!
Luv, Momma and Mini-Man
I miss you so much puppy!