02-03-25 My dear Petey Pete it's been right at 3 months since you left me all alone. Well not really I guess, because your sisters Chiffon and Jasmine, and daddy are here missing you too. Chiffon has decided to sleep under our bed in the kitty bed you always used. She misses you terribly. She's still skittish and sometimes sits beside me or daddy on the bed but always leaves to go back to her roost in my office, alone. Jasmine is still sleeping on the bed, but she won't come to your spot, even though she slept with you there. She has lost a lot of weight and we are trying so hard to get her to stabilize. She, too, misses you. I miss you more than any words can express and I am still at the bawling/devastated stage. I am trying to do better. I think about you all day long and "see" you when I am in certain areas of the house, like daddy's couch downstairs, where you would sit and wait until I came out of the bathroom to play with you. Every morning and afternoon, when it's "dinner time" and we all go downstairs to eat, I see you "bunny hopping" down the stairs to beat everyone to the food bowls. I hope you are really at the Rainbow Bridge, healthy, happy, and chewing on all kinds of goodies that are not harmful to you. I blame myself for all the non food stuff you ate that I decorated with, that ended up hurting you. If I had known, decorations would never had happened. Love & kisses mommy

2-16-25 My dear Petey Pete it's been 3 months and 1 week since you left all of us alone. We miss you terribly and I am still blubbering and bawling, but not as much. I will never forget you and I think about you every day. Sometimes I do a doubletake look as I thought I saw you. I am just trying to stop some of the grieving and try to get back to life, because it seems I can't do anything much but think about you and what I would have done different for your treatment to have extended your life. I know I am selfish, and I hope you did not suffer any of the surgery etc., we agreed to do with hope of you getting better. It cost us a lot, but that's not as important as you surviving as long as you can. I am so lonely without you. Chiffon is getting a little more friendly with us, but she is still very independent and a loner. I have considered searching for another cat for our house for a lot of reasons. None of them would every replace you, but maybe one could have a good home with us and help Jasmine and Chiffon from grieving too. We went to APA yesterday to drop off a lot of food we had from trying to get you to eat and then trying to get Jasmine to eat. While there, we met Magnus, a gray and white big boy. He was nice and friendly and really wants a home of his own and a family to love, that will love him back. I have considered adopting him. I hope you understand, that no one will every replace you or ever make me forget you and our 10 years together! I may not have a lot of time left myself. I would like to have someone to love and love me similar to how you did. Please let me know. Love and Kisses mommy.

4-6-25 My sweet Petey Pete - It's been 5 months now since you left us all alone. Sorry it has been so long.
Chiffon and Jasmine are finally eating again and feeling a little better. They were very sad and upset when you left and really missed you. I miss you terribly and cry and think of you everyday. We have recently "saved" an older cat and brought him home. I know you already know this and I am sorry. Did you send him to us? Please know he nor any cat, will every replace you or the love I have for you. I still have your box and your favorite toys in a bag next to our bed. Yes, my socks you loved so much are in there too! You will always have your spot next to me to sleep. Of course, Chiffon and Jasmine do not like him, what else is new huh!! Maybe you can visit them and tell them he needs a chance to live too, a home with food and water, and not be so mean to him, just try to like him a little. I will write again. Love and kisses, Mommy

4-26-25 My baby Pete, I am crying right now because I miss you so much and have been thinking of you. I have moved you to my office because I miss you sitting on my desk and sleeping on it. I keep your special comfy pad in the same place for you. Every morning I think of you sitting there waiting for me to fix my coffee and then "Dinner time". YOu loved to eat and wasn't too picky until you were sick. We went through a lot of illness from the first few weeks we had you. They always seemed fixable, a little medicine here and there. I am still in shock I guess because 1 month is not much time to spend together once I was told you would be dying by then. I still cannot believe you are gone. I miss all the "gifts" you would bring me for a treat, or for a hug. I am so sorry you didn't get to go/play/stay in your room at the new cabin. We built a special room just for you and the girls too. They have been 1 time and went loco so they haven't been back. YOu would have straightened them out if you were there and maybe it would have worked out. We will try again soon, but not sure they will ever make it work. The new cat is still here. He is still staying by himself because of Chiffon, and now Jasmine has started hissing. He is grateful and happy here, loves to eat and does play a lot, but I feel he is still a little lonely because he sees the girls and they are still mean. He doesn't like to sleep with me or both Matt & I, but he does sleep in the bedroom when it is his turn. Well it's time to start the dinner time routine and move eveyone around to different rooms etc. Love and kisses, Mommy

6-8-25 My baby Pete, I am still having crying fits for you and today was one of them. I am sorry I haven't sent you a note, but these cats are wearing me and Daddy out. All they do is fight, hiss, attack, etc. Just so tired of it. Can't blame the new cat for all of it, he is really a calm and friendly cat, but Chiffon and Jasmine act like loons! I called the new cat Pete Pete when I called him last night. It made me so sad. He didn't come to me and hasn't been coming to me lately, doesn't sleep with me, doesn't sit with me at work, but does like me and follow me around sometimes. Probably tired and upset over them girls too! This is why I miss you so much and am so sad today. You left me November 8, 2024, 7 months ago, and I have never been the same. I cry for you and pray every day asking why did it have to be you called to the Rainbow Bridge. That's because I am selfish! I know you are having the best time there, no pain, no nasty special food, no mean Chiffon, no confined spaces. But I am still so lonely, no one to snuggle with at night, no one to "talk" to all day, no company for me at my desk during the day or night, lonely, lonely, lonely. Love you always, Mommy.

8-28-25 My baby Pete, today is Remembrance Day for all Rainbow Bridge's residents and I just wanted to say hi again and that you are always on my mind every morning, day, and night since you left me. I am sorry I haven't written for awhile, but I love you so much and still am devastated you are gone. I don't want you to be unhappy there because you deserve the best place and the most love, freedom, and joy because of all I put you through not wanting to let you go. I can never replace you nor would I want to. I still "feel" you in my office and when I walk in, I feel you will be laying on my desk waiting for our day to start. I am so sad every day you aren't. I wish Rainbow Bridge had visiting hours so I could come and visit you and see how you are doing. I would want to take you home though, so I do understand why there isn't any. LOL I feel so lucky to have a place like Rainbow Bridge to just spill my thoughts and write anything I want to you. Plus to believe your animal spirit goes on, especially somewhere as wonderful as Rainbow Bridge. I have 2 bracelets that I wear to "feel" your presence and remember you every day. Daddy & I put a heart rainbow stained glass in our bedroom close by where you slept by me, as well. Well, I will go and will write another time soon. Love you always, Mommy

10-11-25 My baby Pete, Daddy's birthday was yesterday and I mistakenly put your name on his card from the cats. I did white it out, but he knew. We were very sad to miss you and him especially since this is the first one since you left us. I have also been saying your name when calling the cats and have to just shake my head and try again. It will be a year soon since you have been gone and I still feel as hurt and miss you as much as I did then. I felt like I was dying too and had to really fight with myself to keep going. I am better, but really have no interest in much of anything to do, etc. I know you are happy and I don't mean to be negative, so please stay happy and run and play like you used to do with me. Love always and forever Mommy

11-8-25 My baby Pete, today is one whole year without you and I am still devastated! I miss you so much and my heart aches that you are gone. I think of you now more than ever. I still envision you running down the stairs for "dinnertime", I "hear" you meowing and I know that you have a toy in your mouth and are bringing it to me to play, and the horrible day you couldn't breathe in the car when we were rushing you back to the hospital. I know I held on too long, my little boy, but I thought that hospital had begun your stabilization and recovery when they let us take you home. I still can't believe you died the next day. I can't say anymore right now, but will continue sending you these notes as long as I can. Love always and forever Mommy