If there was a definition of love wrapped up in a ball of fur, it was Pepper. Pepper found me as a small kitten when I was still living with my parents and in college. It was literally a case of she followed me home, and I kept her. I was walking home from college, when I heard this meow as I got close to home. There were two small, black kittens walking together, and one of them (Pepper) just loved on me like there was no tomorrow. Me being a natural cat lover, I put some food and water out for them. The next day, only one of the cats had stayed, and that was Pepper, so yeah, she chose me. She got me through a marriage and a divorce, three moves, and more ups and downs than I can remember. Pepper had this wonderful magnetic attraction for my lap -- anytime I was laying down, she was right there, snuggling up and purring like there was no tomorrow. And she absolutely insisted on sleeping with me at night, curled up right under my arm. |
I'll never forget some of the other things about her. The way she would always nuzzle me to wake me up when it was breakfast time in the mornings. The jingle of her cat collar with her name tag, which I kept and will treasure always. How she was trained to respond to a clicker, and how that clicker saved her when she accidentally got out once. How she lost her voice for a while, and then got it back with the help of hairball treatment cat treats. But that purr. That soft, gentle purr that knew no end when she was with me. She ALWAYS purred when she was with me. She was always happy and content when she had me, and I was always happiest when I had her.
She was the sweetest, most gentle cat you could ever know. It was pure love that kept her alive for 20 years, and I will always treasure each and every moment that she was with me. I can rest easy knowing that she felt no pain, and that before she left, I had the chance to hold her in my arms, tell her how much I loved her, and was able to say goodbye. There will always be a paw-shaped hole in my heart for Pepper, and I will always love her and always remember her. Thank you God for giving me such a wonderful animal.
Nov 5, 2012 - It's been almost one week since you left, Pepper, and somehow I've managed to get a little better every day. I still miss you so very much. I have your collar with your name tag and bell on my desk, and I shake it to ring it almost every day. It reminds me how much you loved seeing me when I came home, and it brings back happy memories. I've done a lot of crying since then, and tonight, I will light a candle in your memory, and cry some more. When I visit your memorial here, I still tear up a little. I made you a promise before you left, and I'll keep it -- my performance in the local showing of "Cats" will be in your memory. Miss you much baby.
Nov 30, 2012 - So here it is, one month without you. It's easier every day, but still, every time I stop by here and remember, a little dust somehow gets into my eyes. Your remains are now in a beautiful cedar chest sitting on my entertainment unit. It's really nice, and everyone says so. It's kinda funny, because I always had to stop you from climbing on that unit, and now, here you are, sitting there. I haven't fully decided what to do with them yet, part of me wants to keep them, but another part of me wants to give you a nice burial when I finally have a home of my own. I cannot say enough how much I miss you, especially at bedtime. Not having you curled up under my arm is just so empty. And a while back, when I was just home all day and doing laundry, I couldn't help think that it was just the kind of day that you would've been glued to my lap all day. I hope you'll understand that I do want to adopt another cat sometime soon. I just want to pass on the love that you gave to me to another. And it's gonna be a shelter kitty that would be put down otherwise, because the way I see it, you saved my life when we were together, so the least that I can do is save a life as well. Love my Pepper kitty always.
June 20, 2013 - Wow, so much in my life has changed since I last visited you, Pepper. New things in my life. A new home, a new wife, and a new kitty in my life since January now. I kept my promise when I adopted Twitchy, she's a rescue kitty who was literally saved from death row. I know you would have wanted me to share my love with another cat. She's very playful, loves to run around, and when the mood is right, she'll love all over me. She's not you though. But between me and my wife, Twitchy will be very much loved. And of course, my wife brought in her cat, Diana, to be with us too. She's a black cat like you were, but she doesn't like me hardly at all. Oh well. I still think of you every so often, and it still brings those tears right back to my eyes, just as it is now while I'm typing this update. I've kept your remains on the bookshelves in the new home, and I think you'll just stay right there. I know your memories will be there with me, always. You don't spend 20 years of your life with an animal and just let it go. And I'll never let you go, Pepper. That paw-shaped hole in my heart is still there, and I'll miss you.
October 30, 2013 - It was one year ago today that my heart literally broke in my chest. My precious Pepper wasn't going to be physically with me anymore. And even though I knew it was coming, and even though I got the chance to say goodbye to her before she passed, there's nothing I wouldn't give to spend just one more day with her purring on my lap. We've got three kitties in the family now, and they're all great with their own unique personalities. But Pepper was just a unique little bundle of love in a small black furry frame. I have no doubt that she loved me, and every day, that paw-shaped hole in my heart is still there. It does get easier with time, but there are still times, like today, where I stop and remember the love, the tenderness, and the 20 years of memories I have with Pepper. And the tears still flow. I miss you so much Pepper, and I'll always love you. Rest well my sweet baby.
October 30, 2014 - It doesn't seem like it's been two years since I lost you. The three cats here (Twitchy, Holly, and Diana) are all great companions, and they all have wonderful personalities. But sometimes, I just want to hold you under the crook of my arm once more. You will always be my most precious fur baby. It's hard to believe you're not here. I am so thankful that you were in my life for such a long time. But your memories are always in my heart, and they always will be. I miss you so much Pepper. May the Rainbow Bridge give you a happy home until I see you again sweetie.
October 31, 2015 - Three years without my baby, and time continues to heal the wound of not having you in my life. You'll always be a part of my life, but I must also move on without you. I still get weepy-eyed when I visit your site here, even all these years later. Your memories will always be a part of me, and I'd do anything to be able to hold you under the crook of my arm again and hear your soft, gentle purr. And there's a part of my heart that knows that you'll always be with me. Rest in peace my beloved fur baby.