Penelope Jane Hope Walsh, better known as Penny, rescued me on May 26, 2007. I found her at a rescue in York, SC in need of a forever home. I brought her into my home and my life was instantly changed for the better. She was the sweetest, happiest and most loyal pup. Penny came to me with some health issues: a heart murmur and the start of congenital heart disease, which eventually took her life on September 18, 2012. |
My little Penny chicken pot pie,
The morning you passed away, a Tuesday, it rained a medium, steady rain. Like the world was mourning your loss. I couldn't help but think that if you were here with us, you might be agitated by the rain, but it really was soothing, like the rain fit the situation. You had left this world and the world was crying. Your daddy and I were so incredibly heartbroken that we'd lost you so suddenly. We kissed you, hugged you, and then wrapped you carefully up in a blanket a very special person in your life had made for you and a towel. You hung out in one of the pet beds until it was time to take you away. When we put you in the car to take you to the vet, your little brown tail was sticking out of the towel. This sort of comforted me and saddened me all at once. After we brought you on the last trip in the car to the vet (who were also very saddened to hear of your passing. They loved you very much, and that includes Dr. Martin and Dr. Sayer over at CVS), we filled out some paperwork to get you taken care of and brought back to us where you belong. You will also be happy to know that I have arranged for us to be close always by having you put into a necklace I will wear. That will be such a comfort to me. When we got home, we initially walked around like zombies and didn't know what to do with ourselves because we missed you so much. We looked at pictures of you and a very special video. We talked to friends of ours who'd been in similar situations. We talked about how we are going to remember you and about our most favorite memories of you. We talked about how you would look down at us from the stairs into the family room to see if we were there, then you'd come bounding down the stairs. Once you saw us, your ears would perk back as you headed straight our way. Daddy and I went out to the backyard and thought about how much you liked it back there, how you'd sprint over to the other side to do your business, lay in the sun, sit up on the swing with us. The spot where you always went to pee is still there and daddy and I decided to get you a memorial stone to put there. We thought you'd see the humor in that but the stone is really nice. Daddy picked it out. The rest of the day was spent reorganizing things around the house and us watching endless comedy shows for some sort of laugh. We organized all of your collars and meds and other things that belonged to you in a drawer. We plan on going through that when we're ready. We gave your leftover food, chew sticks, milk bones, and Beggin' strips to the vet, so they could donate it to a shelter or to someone in need of them. We thought you'd like that since you were once in a shelter. I couldn't eat much today, just a few bites of soup but I tried. One thing I'm so happy we did is we asked all of our friends and everyone who knew you to please toast you tonight. I think many people did this, including us, so I hope you can really feel all of our love! You were SO very loved, Penny, and by so many people across the world. You truly touched every single person who met you. That is a very special quality and I am honored to have been your mama. Well, I will always be your mama but you know what I mean. Oh, one more thing: we also had a candle lit in your memory all day long. Daddy and I brought it from room to room so it would always be with us.
The next day we went to pick you up and bring you back home to us to rest. We picked out a very nice urn we think you would have liked. We kissed you and put you on the shelf in our bedroom so we can always look at you and you can always watch over us. You are right next to a picture of you from our wedding and a candle we have lit in your honor. I'm sure after some time I will start talking to your urn like you are right there listening, and maybe you are, and that is a comforting thought.
Oh, baby girl, there is so much that I am going to miss about us. I am going to miss singing silly songs to you ("Penelope Jane, Penelope Jane!"). All of your nicknames - Penny pot pie, Peanut butter head, peanut, my little babushka, puppy, puppykins, chicken buttercup, my little angel, Penny poopie butt, turd burgular - that one was because you were always sneaking in to get the cat's poop!. Snuggling my face into your neck. Your manic kisses all over my face. Your cute little howls when we got home from work. Your wagging tail, always such a happy girl. How you'd stand on your back legs and flap your arms to get a treat. How we'd pretend to say what you were thinking. How we'd make you throw up gang signs. How you'd lick your front paw and the paw would just flap back and forth. You made us laugh so much and for that I am so very thankful. How I knew if you were not feeling well because you'd go outside and start eating all the grass, in order for you to puke it up. How you tolerated your baths but absolutely LOVED being wrapped in a towel in my lap afterwards, having a snuggle and then once you were dry you'd step out and give a good shake. I'll miss all of our car rides with you being so excited to look out the windows or coming up to the front seat to sit on my or daddy's lap. Your need to burrow under everything -- bedcovers, blankets, pillows. Feeling your little warm body against my back in bed. Your excitement over your 'treatie treats' (your meds which were made to taste like chicken or hidden in chicken-flavored pill pockets!) every morning and night. I'm going to miss taking you to Bruster's for ice cream and having everyone love on you. I'm going to miss you always needing to wedge in between daddy and me. Cuddling with you. Asking for kisses and you giving them. Your snores. Your puppy dreams. Your big brown loving eyes.
I love you always. Until we meet again,
9/21/2012 - My angel Penny, I wanted to let you know that your brothers are being so helpful to us as we grieve for your loss. Morgan and Otto haven't left our sides. They approach your bed, sniff, and seem to know that you are no longer here. We all miss you very very much baby girl. Love, Mama & Daddy.
9/22/2012 - Hey puppy girl in a puppy world. Today we made a donation to Project HALO in your memory. It helps to know that we are helping other animals who need a forever home like you did. We love and miss you so very much. Love, Mama & Daddy
9/23/2012 - Sweet Pea, today your daddy and I remembered your funny little bedtime routine and how you'd 'push' the cats off of the couch or bed. Such a little bully you were :). Your vet sent us an ink paw print impression of your front paw, which was so beautiful. We have it in a frame in the family room. We love you so much. xoxo Love, Your mama & daddy
9/25/2012 - Baby girl, I hope you are playing and eating lots of yummy ice cream up there. Yesterday I received the necklace I had made. I love it and it provides me a lot of comfort. Today we received a lovely book from Dr. Sayer called 'Dog Heaven.' Daddy and I looked at it and shed some tears because we miss you terribly. Dr. Sayer and her staff also wrote some heart-felt messages in the book for your daddy and me. You were so lucky to have such wonderful doctors. They all loved you and miss you. I want you to know that even if I don't visit you every day here, there is hardly and hour that goes by that daddy and I don't think of you. We are trying to focus now on all of the happy times we enjoyed together. You will always be close to my heart. Love always, Mama and Daddy
9/28/2012 - Hi Penny! I can't believe you have been gone for 10 days. Longest 10 days of my life. Your daddy, brothers and I all miss you so much. Today we are going to put the new stone down over your pee spot in the yard :). It will be a great memorial. We love you baby girl, always. xoxo
9/29/2012 - Missing you a lot today, my little babushka. Weekends are pretty boring without you here with us. We put down your stone and it fits perfectly. It is such a nice memorial. I still can't believe you are no longer with us. I am trying to be strong but sometimes I just cry and cry, missing your sweet little face and kisses. I love you, mama.
10/02/2012 - Hey there my little sweetie. It has now been 2 weeks. Not an hour goes by where I don't think about you. We miss you very much. We are considering giving another dog a home. We know you wouldn't have liked that while you were here, but we think you would like us to do that now that you have gone to the Bridge. We have so much love to give and such an enormous hole in our hearts to fill. Daddy and I love you so much. Hope you are having fun up there. Love, Mama and Daddy.
10/07/2012 - Hi puppykins! This morning we had a thunderstorm and I of course thought about you. I know you aren't bothered by storms anymore but it made me miss you. A new little girl is going to join our family next weekend. I know you are happy we are giving another dog a home. She will have all new things, not your things. We will use your leash for her though, but I know you don't mind that. Please watch over her and help her adapt to our family. We love and miss you so much, Penny. Love, mama and daddy. xoxo
10/09/2012 - Hi chicken. Three weeks ago we lost you but you will always be in our hearts and thoughts. I know I am a broken record but we miss you so very much. I wish I could give you kisses on your little peanut head. I will in my dreams. Love you, Mama.
10/16/2012 - Hello my beautiful girl. It has now been 4 weeks. Hard to believe, huh? We have a new little presence in our home now. Her name is Lola. She is a spunky 1 year old chihuahua mix. She is bringing your daddy and me much joy. Of course, no one can replace you and you will always be here with us, but we feel great happiness to have given another sweet dog a forever home and that we're letting another sweet soul into our hearts. Thinking of you always, Mama and Daddy. xoxo
10/28/2012 - Hi Penny pot pie. Your daddy and I adopted another pup named Oscar. He is 4.5 years old. He and Lola love to play! They are keeping us very busy and happy. Not a day goes by where we don't think of you and miss you. A few of our friends have lost their animals over the last month and we know you are greeting them with open arms at the Bridge. We love you so so so much and send tons of kisses up to you. Love, Mama and Daddy xoxoxo.
11/11/2012 - Hi Penny! Your Daddy and I have been thinking about you a lot over the last couple of days. Sometimes we still have trouble accepting that you won't be coming back. We are trying to remember the great times we had with you but at times we simply miss you so much it is paralyzing. The new doggies are getting along great and seem to be settling in. But we still and always will miss you, girl. Kisses and hugs to my baby girl. I miss your puppy kisses and snuggles so much. Love, Mama.
12/27/2012 - Hello sweetie pie. We have been thinking about you and missing you over the holidays. I did take you (in my necklace) with us so we could be together on Christmas out of town. I felt comforted by that. But we talked about how much we missed you. We saw your old vets and the vet staff last week when we had to take Lola in because she had an infection. They miss you very much also. The new dogs and Morgan and Otto are taking good care of your mommy and daddy though. I miss you so much and think about you daily. You will always be my special girl. Missing you, Mama. BIG puppy hugs and kisses to you!!
1/22/2013 - Penny, I did it! I finished my Masters Degree today. I know you are proud of me. I wanted to thank you so very much for being my constant school companion throughout it all. I'm sorry you weren't here to celebrate the completion of it with me but I know you are cheering me on from the Bridge. I love you always and miss you constantly. Love, Mama.
3/18/2013 - Hi Penny! Today marks 6 months since you went to the Bridge. Not a day goes by that we don't miss or think about you. It is thunderstorming tonight and we remembered how much you did not like thunder. I know you would be panting and nervous and we'd be trying to comfort you to no avail. We love you so so much and miss you more than you know. Love always, Mama and Daddy xoxo
4/18/2013 - Miss Pretty Penny, we are thinking fondly of you today on the 7th month since you went over the Bridge. I tell the new doggies about you all the time and just yesterday Daddy and I were laughing as we thought about how you'd do your 'rounds' at bedtime. I miss you so much. Love you, Mama.
9/13/2013 - Hi baby girl! It has almost been 1 year and we can hardly believe it. We are going to plant a lovely crape myrtle tree in our yard in your honor on the 18th. We love and miss you incredibly. You are never ever forgotten and always tucked into our hearts. Love always, Mama and Daddy.
9/17/2013 - We can't believe it has almost been a year since you went to the bridge. One year tomorrow. We have the tree that we're going to plant tomorrow and we're also going to move your remembrance stone to sit under it. We love you so much baby girl. Miss you bunches, Mama and Daddy. xoxo
12/20/2013 - Merry Christmas, Penny. We planted your memorial tree on September 18th out in our front yard. It is going to be beautiful when it blossoms in the spring. We think of you every single day and we still hang your stocking. This year we are fostering a female chihuahua named Ladybug and we will put her gift in your stocking. We know you would not mind one bit! I know you are at the Bridge welcoming all of the new arrivals each day and keeping their spirits up. We miss you down here. Love you, Mama and Daddy.
9/16/2014 - Hi Penny! It has almost been 2 years since you became our angel. I still think of you every day and I know you are looking down on us all with love. We have 3 fur dogs now - we ended up adopting Ladybug, whose name is now Sasha. They bring daddy and I so much joy. The kitties are doing well but are slowing down a little in their older age. Whenever it is time for them to go to the Bridge I know you will be there to greet them and that gives me some comfort. Love you sweet pot pie. Mama and Daddy xoxoxoxo