Soar with your little wings sweet angel. Soar. |
4/1/2018: Happy 15th birthday, my sweet little boy. I wish you were here this morning - I would have made you scrambled eggs to celebrate your birthday like I always did. I was always sure that we had many more birthdays together - I still can't believe you're gone. I have a video of the last one we celebrated.
Mama misses you so much bub. I always will. I know you're on the bridge waiting for me so stay there and be a good boy for me. I'll be with you again. I love you with all my heart my sweet Parker. Be a good boy. 💕
1/11/2018: My sweet little angel. 1 year, 20 weeks. I haven't been writing to you here as much, but I feel like I think of you more and more often each day. I miss you so incredibly much little one. Today a video popped up of you from three years ago wearing the little snow boots I bought you. The video was us learning how to walk on the new boots. You always learned things so quickly; you were such a smart little boy.
Know that no matter what, I will always love you. I will always look at your pictures and smile. I will always watch videos of you and feel the same joy I felt while you were here. My heart will always break a little each time I look at those pictures and videos but all the heartbreak in the world will always be worth the 13 wonderful years I had with you. You were the light in my life. My little joy. I'm so grateful for the time we had together even though it breaks my heart that you're gone. I love you so much, bub and I always will. Wait for mama at the bridge and be a good boy until I meet you there. I love you with all my heart, little one. Forever. 💕
11/30/2017: Hello my little love. 1 year, 14 weeks. I'm sorry I haven't written here in a couple of weeks. Know that no matter what, I think of you often each day. I miss you so very much little love. I've never quite gotten used to the idea that I'll never see your handsome little face or hear the patter of your little paws on the floor. I miss your sweet little sighs at night when you had settled in near my feet. I miss the feel of your velvety soft white fur and kissing your sweet little cheek. I miss your apricot ear that was so distinct when you were a puppy and stayed that color your whole life. I'll never forget the first moment I saw you that sunny June day. You were so small yet so ferocious. I sat there in the bright green grass and told
11/2/2017: my sweet Parker. 1 year, 10 weeks. I think of you every day. Not a moment goes by that a sweet memory of you doesn't make me smile or laugh or feel utterly heartbroken that you're gone. I knew that day would eventually come and it would break me in to a million pieces. I still don't know how I've made it though. The grief still hits me sometimes and it feels like I can't breathe because I miss you so much. Part of me still can't believe you're actually gone. I wish that I could have had you with me forever. I hope you know that even though you're no longer here, you still bring me joy and I feel so much love for you I feel like my heart could burst. I hope you knew that in life and I hope you know it in spirit now. The only comfort I have is knowing that you're with me each day and knowing that when it's my time, I'll see you at the bridge and we'll peacefully cross together.
I love you sweet boy. I always will. Be good and wait for mama bub. I'll be with you again. For now, stay with me in my heart. ❤️
10/26/2017: Hello little one. 1 year 9 weeks. Can't write much tonight but wanted to tell you I love you and miss you. Be good bub. 💕
10/19/2017: Hello my sweet boy. 1 year, 8 weeks. I miss you more and more each day. I would give anything to come home and be greeted by you. I'd always see your little feet at the top of the stairs under the doorway waiting for me when you'd hear me pull up. You'd greet me with your little tail wag. I'd put all my stuff down and then kneel down and give you kisses and pets. You'd let me love on you for a minute and then you'd huff and want to go outside. I'd always feel so happy and calm when you were near. You were truly my little angel.
I miss you bub. I realize I always will. I think of you so often each day ~ I hope you know that. Sometimes I wish I could feel your presence - I don't, which makes me think you're happy at the rainbow bridge. Wait for me there little one. We can cross together. I love you Parker. I always will.
10/12/2017: My little Parker. 1 year, 7 weeks. There are times when it seems surreal that you're gone and other times when it seems like forever since I've seen your sweet little face. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of you or miss you. There really isn't a way for me to put in to words how much I miss you each day. But more than anything, I want you to know how much joy you bring me even though you're no longer here. You had so much love for me and I feel that even now. You will forever have my heart.
I love you bub. ❤️Be a good boy for mama. We'll be together again. Just wait at the bridge little one.
9/21/2017: Hello my little love. 1 year, 1 month. I still can't believe you're gone sometimes. It's funny when I think back to our days together and remember how I used to try to prepare myself for life without you. I used to try to imagine what it'd be like to not have you with me every day. I couldn't. When I thought about it, I felt like I couldn't breathe. And here I am now. Without my little love. It's just as hard as I ever could have imagined but what I didn't know or understand is how much joy you'd bring me even once you were no longer with me physically. Every time I look at one of your pictures I smile. When I watch a video of you, I feel like my heart's going to burst because of how much I loved and continue to love you. For that love, I will always be grateful. Because I know that was once in a lifetime.
I love you so much Parker. Be a good boy for mama and wait at the bridge until I get there.
9/7/2017: Hello little one. 1 year, 2 weeks. I miss you so much Parker. All the time. I hung some more of my favorite pictures of you in my cube today. Makes me happy to always have reminders of you near. You were the one constant joy and love in my life and even though you're not here physically anymore, you still bring me so much joy.
I hope you're doing okay little Parker. I had a dream the other night that I went to visit you in the hospital. You had gotten better and you ran out of your cage to greet me. You were jumping on me and licking me and wagging your little tail. I think it was really you. I think you're all healed and running around and playing. I think you're waiting for mama.
So keep waiting little one. I'll be with you again before you know it. I love you with all my heart. Be a good boy bub. I love you. ❤️
8/31/2017: Hello, my sweet little Parker. Mama misses you so much. It's been 1 year and 1 week. Not a day or a moment goes by that I don't think of you. You were such an amazingly good dog. I always say you were once in a lifetime. And I mean that. I really do. I hope you're okay where you are while you wait for me. I hope you're eating scrambled eggs and steak. I hope you're playing with lots of squeaky toys that are soft. I hope you have your bed to curl up in. I hope you go on long walks and sniff and pee on everything. I hope there are other pups keeping you company while they wait for their moms and dads. I keep you in my heart every day and more than anything, I hope you know that.
I love you little one. Be a good boy and wait for mama. We'll be together again.
8/25/2017: My sweet boy. Today marks one year and I honestly can't believe it. I've written to you almost every Thursday for the past 12 months (I've written so much, I had to move all of that to another document because I was out of space here). Some things I'd like you to know since you've been gone:
- Not one day has gone by that I haven't thought of you, spoken your name, looked at one of your pictures or videos and smiled.
- It broke my heart in to a million pieces when we had to say goodbye. While I don't feel the same grief and pain as I did the first few weeks after I lost you, my heart is still broken.
- I'll never love another little being as much or in the same way as I love you. You were my whole world and you continue to be, even though you aren't physically here with me any more.
- You brought me joy, comfort, happiness, and love each and every day of your little life. You were loyal and giving to me, even in your last moments. When I had to say goodbye to you and couldn't stop my tears, you were more concerned about me than about yourself. You taught me so much about life and love and what's really important.
- You were the light of my life. You were my sunshine. I will love you until my very last moments. And I know that when it's time you'll be there waiting for me and we'll cross together.
I love you with all my heart sweet boy. I always will. Be good for mama. I'll see you at the rainbow bridge.
9/1/2016: Parker, I write to you today one week since you've been gone. It's funny how life keeps moving and people expect you to just keep going. For me, life has stopped. The moment you left me I felt alone. We were so connected, bub. Not a moment goes by that I don't think of you. I'm trying to find ways to heal, but for now, I'm letting myself be sad.
Please know how much I love you and how sorry I am for everything. I never wanted to let you go but they gave me no choice -I never would have chosen to let you go because I loved you too much. I thought we had so much more time together. I'm sorry I kept trying to get you to walk. I'm sorry that you weren't sleeping well. I'm sorry that I kept taking you for treatments. I just wanted you to be okay. I had no idea what we were up against my sweet boy. I'm so very sorry.
I hope you're okay. I hope you're running and playing and squeaking your lamb chop. I hope you're blitzing. I hope you have lots of blankets to snuggle with. I hope you're sleeping soundly and not missing me sleeping beside you. I hope you're dreaming of bunnies and squirrels to chase. Most of all, I hope you're watching over me my angel. Wait for me at the bridge. Mama will be there soon. I love you so very much.