7/4/2022: My baby boy, just 3 hours ago, I peacefully held you as your spirit left this Earthly world. No words can describe the void and pain I feel in my heart. Thank you for 19 years and 5 months of pure, unconditional love and companionship. I want to use this page, like I told you I found yesterday, to write to you and keep your memory alive. I pray you'll hear me.|
In February of 2003, my aunt's Persian cat gave birth to dozens of kittens, including Oreo. Oreo was sadly the only survivor of his whole litter (they all passed away within the first 6 months of life due to poor health). We thought it was a miracle Oreo lived to 1. Then 5, then 10, then 15...now today he took his final breath on July 4, 2022. These past 19 years he has been my family's guiding light, and also our faithful shadow. He lived happily with a buddy, Junior, until 2014. I know he was waiting for him at the rainbow bridge. I could tell, by all your signs, baby, you were ready to go in July. The last week of June, Oreo stopped eating and drinking daily. He hid under beds and his arthritis put him in visible pain. The hardest decision was made -- to call a vet to come to the house for a euthanasia appointment. But we knew this was the right thing to do; and it's better "one week early" than 1 day too late. But today was the absolute "time" and we knew it. You were so good to us last night, licking whipped cream and spending time with us in the living room instead of under the bed. I laid on the floor with you these past few days, where ever you were, and sang "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" to you 1000 times and prayed for you. I prayed for you to peacefully drift off to sleep. But you fought sleep -- almost as if you knew if you closed your eyes, it'd be the end. The last three days I've had this "countdown timer" in my head. It's morbid to think about, but this hard decision did leave us with cherished last moments together. Hours before the vet came, I weeped and weeped, carried you down to the living room and held you. The vet injected a calming morphine into your leg, and you hardly squirmed. You accepted his loving care and help, my love. I felt your body un-tense, you were so frail and tired. I placed your body on the pink furry blanket, and your head rested on my forearm. I prayed to St. Francis for you and said the most loving and tender things into your ear. My mom & dad both kissed you. I swear in those moments, you slipped away. I didn't feel your movement or breath. I looked at the doctor and said "it's ok" and he put another needle in you, but I didn't notice you breathing in the first place. Seconds later, he took out a stethoscope to check your heart, and confirmed that you had passed. I knew, baby, as your head rested on my forearm, you knew I was there and you were safe to go, feeling my love on the way. We cradled you in a blanketed basket, with my purple flowers, and sent your physical body away from our home into someone else's loving arms. Baby boy, I write this story in detail to memorialize how peacefully you left us. I prayed so hard for it to not hurt, for you to peacefully depart this Earth and that's what you did. I'm so unbelievably grateful. My good, good boy. Tomorrow will be so hard waking up without you. I will say goodnight to you in my dreams tonight. I love you forever, Orie. Chase the birds and run free with Junior.
7/13/2022: My baby, time has moved so fast and so slow. My heart aches for you -- but our home has been filled with "kitty love" once again. I hope you've met Molly and Rocco, two cats we rescued and brought home. They smell you everywhere! It was bittersweet cleaning up and vacuuming your fur. I swear they see the spirit of you, especially Rocco. He's black and white in his own way, unique like you; but please baby, know that these babies will never "replace" you. Mom Dad and I had such a big hole in our hearts from your loss and we were so eager to share that loving home with other rescue kitties. My love, yesterday I also picked up your ashes. There was a candle lit on the counter at the vet, with a sign that said "if this candle is lit, there's a family saying goodbye to their beloved pet right now." That moment felt so real to me, I wanted to ask if I could even go back and just tell them..with your ashes in my hands..that it'd be okay and their baby will be at peace with you at the rainbow bridge. My love, there's so many things I wish I could experience with you, the little things like feeding you part of my chicken at dinner or simply coaxing you to sleep. I miss everything about you! Like I've said to my family so many times, losing you was like a double edged sword - the pain and loss on one end, on the other end, you lived SUCH a happy and looong life that it brings me peace to know just how peacefully you left us. Please be with us always, my love. I'll see you in the sky and the birds. I love you so so so much.
8/1/2022: Almost a month without you, my baby. I'm sitting here with Rocco in my lap, your photo to my left and tears in my eyes. I miss you so incredibly much. Everything about you! Please be with me baby and rest at peace.
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