My dearest Oliver, I've been thinking of you so often as always and feeling bad that I haven't come back to officially introduce you to your new "brothers". I gave them the last fav. toy of yours yesterday that I hadn't been able to give them before. But when I saw it in the special place I've been keeping it, I knew it was time to be out where we can all see it and maybe they would like it too. I have to run right now, but wanted to say a quick hello and tell you i'll be by to write all about our new little boys very soon. We still talk about you, miss you and love you so do much! I find myself calling our new blk/white kitty Oliver several times a week. Till then my sweet boy, remember how much you are loved and missed!
7/24/2019: My dearest Oliver, I'm so sorry buddy that I am just now able to write about you for your memorial. It's been 6 days since we had to say goodbye and we miss you so much it hurts!
I cry every time I let myself be still, the grief washes over me and leaves me glued to my spot just sobbing because I miss you so much.
Everytime I go to bed, I scooch over to make sure your fav. spot by my head is ready for you, but..of course you never come.
Your bowls and your fav.fish, your big soft bed from the floor next to my bed where you slept part of the night when I tossed and turned too much, and your scratching post, I had to put away! Too constant was the pain and emptiness everytime I saw them there but not you.
We've had to say goodbye before to beloved friends but the sorrow we feel over losing you is unlike no other! Our Sasha who's a Chow Chow should have been front and center to greet you! Yes she's a dog but she knew in our family she had to be a kitty cat lover, and she was! She loved Gizmo our beautiful Maine Coon, almost as much as I did. They slept curled up together everynight in the den, so I'm sure Gizmo was right behind Sasha waiting to show you around.
You stay close to them my precious boy so you will know you are never alone! You'll feel our love wrapping itself around all 3 of you, reminding you that we'll be together again.
As much as our hearts are broken over having to say goodbye, we know we had to be unselfish and let you go.
You are free now from all the insulin injections that weren't working, and the many meds we had to give you on a daily basis just to get your colon to work, and those had become ineffective. As if that weren't enough for your poor body, they found last week that a heart murmur had developed.
I hate the saying "life's not fair" but it's all I can think of when it comes to losing you. You were my best friend and confidante! You would meow loudly if I didn't come to say hello if we'd been out all day running errands. I thought it was because you missed me, but no, you just couldn't wait to rub all over whatever shoes I'd been wearing, get fed, and then go to sleep on those shoes!!
The last thing I have not been able to put away because I cry uncontrollably, is your harness and leash. Everyone I knew was always amazed that you were leash trained and boy if I had a nickle for every time we went outside to "go see", we'd be rich. That should have been a stronger sign to me that you just weren't feeling like yourself as more and more you didn't want to "go see"! But honestly you know I hate the heat and that black coat of yours just soaked it up making you so hot, so I just thought you were taking a break on those hottest summer days lately.
Daddy has cried very few times in the 35 years I've known him, but getting the call from me about you was too much for him. He cried so hard he soon couldn't speak anymore but made sure to tell me, to tell you, how very much he loves you and will miss you.
I have a prob buddy, now that you're not here, even though I love you so so much,I have all this affection I don't know what to do with! Holding on to it is making me sadder...I need to be needed and take care of living things...its my purpose in life. I have already thought of going to our shelter where we used to donate food you didn't like or toys not played with, and just "go see" how many other kitty cats might need me and who could really use some tender love and care. I don't know for sure but I think you would want me to stop crying and help another kitty who has no family, just like you when you found us. I tell myself its too soon, but each time I fall apart over missing you I think about it more and more. Just know you can never be replaced or forgotten, ever!!! You are with us in spirit and in our hearts always and forever whether a new kitty comes to be loved by us or not! There will never be another "fatso catso", our beloved, one of a kind, best friend and buddy!
I will visit often but please know you will be thought of each and every day of our lives for the rest of our lives.....until we meet again! Give Sasha and Gizmo our love too!
7/28/19 It's Sunday night and only 9 days since we said goodbye, but it feels like forever since I've given you kisses and scratched those soft ears. We are still so sad and miss you every day!
8/29/19 My dearest Oliver, I am so sorry I haven't spoken to you more often here, but I have to believe that you've heard me every time I've been in one of your fav. places around the house and found myself crying so hard and talking to you. Not a day has gone by that we haven't missed you, and plenty of days where I've cried.
You know we always said you needed a buddy, (not sure you agreed,lol) but we never got around to that so this time we decided to help 2 kittens together who already have a bond.
One is black and white, and one is orange and they're the cutest little things. I'm sure you would have been very "put out" at first if we brought them home while you were here, but I know you would have grown to love them.
So my dear Oliver, we will bring them home tom. We will tell them about you and talk about you often and never, ever forget you! And as I write this, knowing there will be diff cats to love and play with after today, I'm sobbing because our goodbye feels so final now.
But I have to believe you are happy and free of pain and illness now and that you know we need to have new little ones here with us to share all this love we have to give, the love we still share with you and always will! And one day, when the time comes, you'll meet your 2 new brothers and then eventually, we'll all be together again.
We haven't named them yet, so I'll be back to introduce you and let you know how they like all your fav places or if they have found new ones of their own!
Till then, our love is with you and you are in our hearts always!!