Our rescue cat (Nala) of the past month and a half had to be put down for multiple reasons I'm unsure what the cause really was. When we found her it was right before it started to get really cold. One more day out there and she wouldnt have been alive. She didnt have front claws and a stubby tail so she was somebodies at some point. We assumed she was a kitten or young because of how thin, frail and tiny she was. The first couple days was constant clean up of vomit and poop and keeping her quarantined from Pal. When she first ate you could tell she was out there for a while because it was ravenous and she looked around like she was expecting others to take it from her. She was really dirty. Lot of poop cleanup everyday after work, so much I ordered a professional spot cleaner. Well as soon as that got delivered she stopped pooping on the floor! hahaha, and she really seemed to take a good step forward to getting better. I ended up taking her to the Kitty Doctor and they said she was between 10-14 yrs old! Wow, I couldnt believe it. I didnt have anymore money other than the basic look at, deworm, check for feline leuq. I couldnt afford to get any test to tell if anything internal was wrong so I took her home as they said shes just skinny and weak. I then was worried because of her constipation and her struggles to pass poo so I setup an apt with a different place so they could look at the inside of her and do the test I previously couldnt pay for. Well I cancelled that because she seemed to good and seemed better. She stayed in my room 95% of the time, she just really wanted to be around me. I enjoyed caring for her and loved the bond we were creating. Every morning I had to check next to my bed to ensure she wasnt laying there, every morning she waited at the top of the stairs for me as I took my shower knowing she would get breakfast soon. I would feed Pal his and then bring her's up to her and she learned eventually to walk in front of me knowing where the dish was put down. Sometimes later she would come down on her own so I knew she was getting stronger. When she did come down it sounded like she rolled down and nobody ever seen her actually come down anyway other than walking down the stairs. Well one day I didnt have my towel blocking the opening of the railing and she was just sitting up there looking down like she did and I wanted her to come down so I banged the dish which she learned time for food. Well I heard a bigger bang bang bang than normal. I swear she jumped/fell down from the highest point although she just walked into the kitchen like normal (she had weird hips almost like she got hit by a car when on the streets). 2 days went by and I noticed she stopped drinking water (she drank a lot), stopped eating, stopped moving as much. Wouldnt wake up with|
me like normal. This morning around 3am I heard her by the litter box. She dragged herself over to try and go to the bathroom but couldnt and didnt have any strength to do anything so she laid there. I woke up and laid with her crying and praying. I lifted her up so she wouldnt be laying by the litter and laid her on my vest which she loved to lay on. I went back to bed hoping she would hold on until the vet opened. I layed with her then from 6am-8am rubbing her and talking to her and wrapping her in my clothes to keep her warm because of how cold she was. She was breathing heavy at this point and laboring. I was worried that the fall did something to her even though we are still unsure if she fell or what. I took her this morning fearing the worst and I knew it would come to it. She had no feeling in her paws, thats why she couldnt walk anymore, she was really cold all night like her body was shutting down. She was so far backed up with poop that it was destroying her body. I feel so bad knowing that I prob could have stopped all of this from happening. If it wasnt the fall and it was something prior I SHOULD have taken her to that 2nd apt, I SHOULD have blocked that railing to make sure nothing happened. I SHOULD have taken her into emergency last night instead of letting her be in pain all night. I SHOULD have stayed with her while she took her last breath and not left her alone like I found her and I told her that morning I wouldnt leave her. WHY DID I LEAVE HER?!? I feel so bad I could have prevented so much and now she deserved better than that. I should have done more for her and now I cannot stop thinking about this regret. Everybody says I did what I could and that I took her in and she would have died without me BUT SHE SHOULD STILL BE HERE RIGHT NOW! I should be enjoying more time watching her recover. In such a short time knowing her I miss her so much now and am having so much trouble thinking I did all I could and that I couldnt have prevented this and she is not here right now because of me. IM SORRY NALA! I SHOULD HAVE STAYED WITH YOU UNTIL YOUR LAST BREATH LIKE I PROMISED.