We were very blessed with Maximus' presence beginning in April 2003. He picked us out as he separated from his litter siblings to come and nip at my shoe. I knew he was mine :) The first night he was home, we put him the bathroom with some bedding and water. As soon as I closed the bathroom door a cute little whine began and didn't stop until I picked him up. I decided that Maximus should sleep with me so we could all get some sleep. Well.....I never slept without him again unless I was travelling. He was such a big bear that kept me warm and made me feel loved. |
When I was home, he would follow me wherever I went. I loved this and I miss this routine terribly.
Maximus loved to have his belly rubbed. If he was laying down he wouldn't let you pass until you rubbed his belly as he would suredly roll on to his back. I miss rubbing his belly. I am afraid that I will forget what it felt like to have my hand on his belly.
One of the funniest things Maximus did was get the other dog off his couch so he would stretch out. He knew that that his buddy liked to go outside every chance she got, so he would go to the door like he wanted to go outside. As soon as the door was open his buddy ran outside. Maximus then turned around and claimed his spot on the couch. I was so tickled every time he did this.
Maximus loved cookies. He took his medicine every morning tucked into a cheap sandwich cookie. He also got cookies when I cleaned his ears. As soon as the cleaning was done, he was at the pantry door. I really miss seeingo him so excited.
Aside from being my bed buddy, what I miss the most is his howl and tail wagging when I would come home. He was the only dog we had that could hear the garage door open and as soon as he did he was by the door with his tail wagging and hitting the wall: thump, thump, thump. He would then find something to 'give' me such as a shoe or dog toy. He then wanted me to chase him to get the 'goods' out of his mouth. He ran even after his leg was grossly deformed from the bone cancer.
HE STAYED FOR ME until I got well enough to handle his death and I stayed for him because he wouldn't have understood why his mom was no longer there to love him.
11/13/11 - I came to visit you today because I cannot get you out of my mind. I miss you so much; my heart is aching. I know you don't want me to be sad and believe me I am trying. Please blow a puppy kiss my way so I can make it through the day. Love you... Mommy
11/16/11 - I tried really hard today to stay busy so I my heart wouldn't be in my throat all day. I did pretty good until this evening. My heart is aching, tears are falling, and I am lost. I miss you terribly. I keep waiting to see you lying on the floor between the living room and the kitchen so you could be sure to see me whichever room I went in. I miss your warm body next to me tha
11/22/11 - I am missing you so much today. I took your collar out of its storage place and held and smelled it. It still smells like you. I hope it always does because it helps me feel closer to you. Thanksgiving is in a couple of days. I know how much you loved the holidays because someone would always slip you some food. By the end of the day you were tired and stuffed. So content. The holidays will not be the same without you and I almost don't want to participate in any events because I would rather be alone and thinking about you.
Please blow mommy a kiss to let me know that you are with me. I love you more than life and I hope to see you again. Love Mommy
11/24/11 - Well baby it is Thanksgiving. I know exactly what you would be doing right now. You would be laying near the stove soaking up the essence of turkey knowing it was just a matter of time before you got some. Today just isn't the same and I feel empty and lonely. I so wish I could pat you on the head and hug you one more time. I love you baby
12/2/11 - I cannot quit thinking about you. I miss you so much and it still hurts so badly. Today was bad as I took Cooper to the vet and I was sitting right in front of the door you were euthanized in. It just killed me to know that this was the place that I lost your companionship, love, and friendship. I am trying to stay busy so I don't go crazy without you. But when things slow down, the first think I think about is you and the pain comes creeping back. What I wouldn't give to just hug you one more time.
I hope you are happy and have no pain. If these are true, I can learn to heal because I know you are in a much better place. I love you and miss you Maximus. Mommy kisses.
12/22/11 - Hi baby Mooser!!! Mom is going crazy today because I miss you so much. My heart is breaking and it hurts so much. I don't want to be like this around Christmas but it just won't stop. Please, please, please blow some Maximus kisses my way because I really need them. I love you sooooooooooooooooooooooo much.
12/24/11 - It is Christmas Eve and it is almost unbearable without you. I know that I will not see you beg for food or laying next to me as I sit at the table. I am struggling baby boy. I can only hope that time will lessen the pain and lead to smiles when I think of you. I love you more than life. Merry Christmas baby boy, companion, confidant, and cuddler.
12/25/11 - Merry Christmas baby boy. I made it through Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas day without crying....until now. I admit that I still haven't accepted the loss of your presence and I am not sure how to do it. I know it was time for you to go as your pain was intense and you weakness was debilitating. I am just being selfish so please forgive me. I love you so much. Please send a puppy kiss my way. I need you. Love Mommy
1/10/12 - Well baby, it has been three months since you left this earth. I some ways it seems like yesterday and in others it feels like an eternity. My constant gut wrenching tears are slowly fading. I can get through most days without a breakdown. I think I am doing exactly what you would want me to do.
I still hold your collar occassionaly and stare at the places you used to lay. I keep hoping to see you. Please know that I love you more than life and that I miss you dearly. Mommy loves you little guy.
July 18, 2012 - Hi baby. Its been a long time. While I haven't been writing here, you are always on my mind. I miss you so much...my heart still aches. I am visiting today because I want you to welcome Rosie when she gets to the bridge. Since you have been watching over me I'm sure you already know, but we took in Rosie after she was rescued from a puppy mill. She had a very rough life for 8 years. We tried really hard to make it better for her. She died today of a cancerous nasal tumor. Damn Cancer!!!! Please let her know that everything is okay now and that she wont be in pain anymore. Tell her we love her and miss her. We continue to love you and miss you with all our beings.
October 10, 2012 - I can't believe that you have been gone for a year. The pain makes it feel like yesterday. The loneliness makes it feel like forever. I always look at your urn and wonder why such a special dog was taken so soon. Sometimes I think you left us so you could be at Rainbow Bridge to meet Rosie and Cooper so they wouldn't be lost or afraid.
I miss you do much. I can't wait to see you on Rainbow Bridge
5/21/13. I have been thinking about you a lot I showed off my tattoo of you for the first time in a very long time. I am feeling tired and hopeless again. I don't want to get sick again, and certainly not without you.
I bet you met the foster fur babies that went to Rainbow Bridge. It's hard to lose them even though I only had them in our home for a short time. Inca, Delilah, & Rain Dance.
I hope you know I love you very much
July 10, 2013. Hi baby. I know you have been watching me struggle. I have tried to do the right things by the dogs and the Rescue. Maybe I took on too much with my sickness. Please support my decision to reduce or eliminate the things that I do for the Rescue. Quietus, Bram, & jewel rarely get attention. The kids, even though they are older, need me sometime. I am not there for them. Please look down on me and wag your tail against something solid so I can hear the beat. I love you and miss you terribly. I guess the hurt never goes away
October 10, 2013. I can hardly believe it has been 2 years since I was able to touch your fur and hear you breathe. It is still painful with you missing in my life. Maybe my life would be better and happier if I could hold you everyday. I know you stayed with me as long as you could; even defying the vet's prediction by a full year. And I know it was to take care of me when I was at my sickest time. I know that you are watch on over me and I hope that you can hear me when I talk to you. I'm sure Rosie and Cooper keep you company. I pray it will be a very long time before you have to welcome the next fur baby.
1/25/2014. Hi my shadow. Mommy misses you so much. You have come up in quite a few conversations lately. To this day, I can barely get your name out without choking back tears. I hope you are keeping Rosie and Cooper company. Are there any sprinklers for you to chase? That was always a sure way to make me laugh.
10/10/2014 - Three years ago today I lost your presence and love here on earth. I really don't know how I made it through the first couple of months. I was so lost without you. I am still a little lost. I talk about you all the time. I tell people how loving you were, how you liked to sleep above my head, even when you grew WAY too big. Eric just recently put the frame back under the bed. We took it out so you didn't have to far to get up or down. It felt weird having the bed so high.
10/10/2015. My Dearest Maximus.....My tears began falling at 4:00 am as memories of you flooded my mind. Dad and I talked about you and looked at the canvas of you on our bedroom wall. Your absence is still so painful.
There will never be another companion like you. Maybe it's because I won't allow it. I'm not sure. I just know it's not the same with your brothers.
I pray you are truly happy and anxiously waiting our reunion as I am.
May 3, 2018
I love you