I remember when we went to go see you before we got you. Grandma and Grandpa already had Willie and he was a year older than you. You both had the same Mom and Dad just different litter. You were born 3-23-2007 on a Hobby farm in Wisconsin that had Horses, Mini Horses, Cats, Lots of Dogs, I think there was Chicken and a Goat too. You and your litter mates were aloud to run free around the yard outside. There was this bigger dog that watched over you and your mates like she was your Mom. I think she was a lab of some sorts. You and your litter mates would go and tease the horses. Nipping at their legs they would get mad and run after you guys. You would run under the eclectic fence and the horses would get zapped sometimes. You and your mates got zapped sometimes too if a tail hit the wire. We would hear a yelp and knew one of you were bugging the horses again. I think we were there for a few hours watching all of you running around. We were trying to figure out which one we wanted. I knew the minute I seen you I wanted you. When we all talked a while later to say which puppy we wanted we all wanted YOU! 100% ALL YOU! It was GREAT! I was going there with the thoughts of getting a boy and walked out with the MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE WORLD! I have to come back later this is to hard right now. SORRY|
I get to pick up your ashes today at 5:00pm tonight. I'm going to wait for Megan to come with me my Beautiful Girl! You'll be home with me again FOREVER, but in a different form. I MISS YOU SO MUCH! <3 Wolfman keeps sniffing around looking for you. He misses you too. As we all do!
It has been 4 days now since you passed away. Things have been going fast for me. Since you passed to now feels like one big day. I wanted you Madelyn to be cremated when you were still fresh. I just could not let your body go bad. I had to have you in your best condition, for you my Beautiful Girl. That's just me loving you! I brought you to a private cremation place for pets. They were WONDERFUL with You, Megan, and Me! I got you cremated, a urn, a 8x10 with your hair, your paw print in ink, and a 5x7 picture of you on it, your paw print in Clay, Certificate with your full name on it, and a good smelling lotion that says it's from you. I hope you enjoyed the viewing/ comfort room we had to say our goodbyes to each other. They put you Madelyn in a basket wrapped nicely in a blanket. You were so beautiful in that basket! The certificate I got is proof and Guarantee that it's only your ashes Madelyn I get back.
I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER MADELYN UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN IN HEAVEN! MOMMY LOVES YOU!
Here I am not sleeping again. Just another night of no sleep. I've been looking for pictures of you Madelyn. I need to find my SD cards so I can get more pics of you that I have. I need to take the ones on my phone and put them on here. I miss you so much! I feel so out of it now. I feel like I'm in a fog and can't function very well. I'm forgetting my meds to take. I forget to eat. I can't sleep or if I fall asleep I sleep for 12+ hours and don't want to get up. I'm home alone most the days and nights. As Dad does not live with us except on weekends. Megan goes and stays at Jeremiah's house a lot. I miss having you come and scratch my leg, wanting to be picked up and petted. I miss you just coming over to me to say hey Mommy I'm fine and I want to see you. I miss you peeking out from under the couch and doing your little bark, because you wanted to get your two cents in too. It hurts me that I can't give you the Christmas gift I already bought for you a week or so before you died. I was not expecting to lose you this fast. I thought I had many more years with you. I will forever Love and Miss You My Beautiful Baby Girl! Mommy Loves You Forever and Always!
The other night dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms, But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head and I cried! I sung this to her a lot! I sing this part to all the ones I love!
"You are my sunshine,
my only sunshine,
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear,
how much I love you,
Please don't go away!"
I can't believe it's been 11 days now. It feels like Monday Nov.18 2019 was just yesterday when we found you dead. Here I have another sleepless night thinking about you. Last night Daddy Rodney and I talked about you for about a hour. It was good for us to have had that talk. I told him how I felt and why I was mad about your passing. Daddy cried about what happened and he said he misses you really bad. He said he didn't know people could care about a furbaby like this. That how he grew up if a furbaby got sick you just bring them behind the building and put them to sleep yourself. He said he never really felt love like that before for a furbaby as he did for you. You changed him and showed him what love for a pet was. I am Grateful for that, that you showed him how to love you in your own way. You were such a SPECIAL PUPPY! I will always miss you for as long as I live. When you died a piece of my heart went with you! But you also left a piece of your heart with me! Our hearts are tied together so tight for EVER! Happy Thanksgiving Day Beautiful Girl! I will drop some Turkey on the floor for you I hope you enjoy it! You always did like the little treat I would give you. Love From Your MOMMY!
15 days out, It really does not feel that long ago. I got thru Thanksgiving, that was SO VERY HARD! Went to Golden Corral for dinner. I couldn't cook this year, either could my Mom. My Sister's going to Florida for the Nationals dog show my niece is in with her dog. At the restaurant I dropped a piece of turkey on the floor for Madelyn to have. Everyone thought I was nuts I don't care! I needed to do it so I did! When done eating went to my Mom's to play games. I was fine until I seen Madelyn's Brother. I started hugging him and I told him his Sister passed away. I closed my eyes and I smelled him. It was really weird how he has her smell. He smelled just like her, must be because they have the same Mom and Dad. Well I cried holding him for like 15 minutes. Then I went back to where everyone was at. They asked if I was crying, yup just was holding William for a bit. Everyone in the room started crying, then I started crying again. We're all puppy lovers in my Family so they all understand what I'm going through. Then we began playing games again. Went shopping after leaving my Mom's for Black Friday. This year was not that good! It was good if you needed TV's, Gaming stuff, or Clothes. Everyone had ads about the same. I shopped until 3pm and went home and ate something and went to bed. I was up for 29 hours. Then I crashed big time! I slept for 18 or 19 hours strait! I didn't get up for ANYTHING! I woke up at 9am Saturday morning. I feel like I missed Friday all together. It was crazy! Saturday afternoon I had a baby's First Birthday to go to. Then went with my Daughter and two Grandson's to a Christmas thing in a small town. After we went to a Authentic Mexican Restaurant. I love that place! Then I got home around 10:30pm we Pokemon Go a little bit. I came in and was tired so I went to bed. Here I am woken up in the middle of the night again. Thinking of Madelyn! I got Thanksgiving over and done with. The HARDER ONES are to come! Christmas and New Years are going to be VERY HARD for me! Madelyn Mommy Loves You To The Moon And Back For EVER! Madelyn Allie Rae 3/23/2007 - 11/18/2019 it feels surreal. I go through the actions, but it doesn't feel like it's real. I'm in the daze faze I think! I know it's real but I can't believe it! Oh I'm so messed up! I LOVE YOU BEAUTIFUL GIRL!
It's already been 27 days now since you passed away. I don't cry as much as I used to, but I still cry several times a day for you! I don't think I'll ever stop crying for you! I have been really busy with the Holiday's coming and all. I went to the Library with Tristin,Jaxxtin, and Tiffany to make Gingerbread houses, it was fun. Megan and I went to The Jingleball Concert we had a lot of fun! When we were there I started crying about you because I seen a rainbow and it made me think of you. So many things make me think about you. Now I have been sick with a cold. I feel like crap and my ears hurt. I'm going to the Doctor's tomorrow. I wish you would come into my DREAMS I miss you so much I want to see you again! I so much miss you My Beautiful Girl! Mommy loves you!!!!!!!
Madelyn Christmas is coming fast and I just can't get in the mood for it without you here. I have only shopped two days and have not gotten very far. I have nothing wrapped! I just can't stop thinking about you 24/7. Can you see the light I've had on ever since you have passed away? I want you to know where home is from Heaven and where I am. I leave it on for you to be able to find me at home thinking of you. I will keep it on for as long as I need it on. I catch myself saying your name at times. Then it really hurts to remember your not here beside me. Please come in my dreams Baby Girl I really need a Madelyn fix REALLY BADLY! I LOVE YOU BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL OF MINE! I miss you so much Mommy Loves You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Madelyn the Holidays have came and gone, they were VERY HARD for me! I had a hard time shopping and wrapping gifts. I never got into the spirit of Christmas. New Years was ok, but it was just not the same happiness as other years. I have talked about you and to you every single day! Before you died I had bought your Christmas gift. It was the biggest bag of doggie treats of your favorite kind. Wolfman and Izabella are eating them for you. Before they get one I tell them "Say Thank you to Madelyn for her sharing her treats with you two." I make them do tricks to get them. You know Madelyn I always just gave them to you, because you are my Beautiful Girl and yes spoiled! I came across a pic of you yesterday when you were a baby! I wish I could go back in time and start life there so I could have you for 12 more years! I don't know if I will ever get over your passing! I still am sick too! I was just starting a cold when you passed and I still have it today! I have gone to the Doctor's for it 3 times and have been on two different meds for it. I just can't settle down from your passing! I can't sleep or I can't stay awake it's never just normal! Nothing is NORMAL anymore! I can't get used to the new Normal it just doesn't feel right to me! I LOVE YOU MADELYN ALLIE RAE FOREVER AND EVER MY BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL! I JUST WANT YOU BACK!
Hi my Beautiful Baby Girl! I'm missing you so much it hurts! Your Brother Wolfman has been a bad boy lately! He SCARED me so bad about a week and half ago. I thought he was going to died! I brought him into the Doggie Doctors because he was Barfing, Runs, and Bleeding a lot out of his butt! They could not get him in that day and we had to go back the next day in the morning. First come first serve, we sat there for 13 hours to get him in. They kept doing assessments on him being sure he was ok and able to wait his turn. They did not know what was going on with him after x-rays and tons of test. Sent home with 3 meds for Barfing, Runs, Water inject, and antibiotics just in case. That cost $486.00 on Unemployment not GREAT! Madelyn guess what I found out what it was a few days later. Wolfman got into the garbage like he always does! Got some rib bones and chewed them up on the ends! That's why he was bleeding trying to pass fragments of bone! Barfing and runs were from your Christmas gift. Wolfman or Izabella went on the kitchen table and took the 1 1/2 pound bag of dog treats and chewed a hole in the side and ate them all. That is why he was not eating the day before all this started, he was full of your treats! So much for him sharing them! If you were here that would have never happened! You would have told on him like you did. He even left the bag and bones under the couch in your area like he was trying to make it look like you did it! We know better! I so miss you every day! I swear I hear you all the time in the house! I LOVE YOU MY BABY GIRL UNTIL THE END OF TIME! LOVE, YOUR MOMMY FOR EVER!
Friday April 3 2020
I have really missed you a lot lately. I don't know if it's because Spring is coming and your Birthday was a week ago. Or if it's this Coronavirus going around and I feel more lonely. I really could use a hug from you and some cuddle time too! I don't think I will ever get over you passing away! It's almost 5 months since you've been gone! I can't believe I've survived this long without you! People ate asking when I'll get a new puppy. I don't want a new puppy! I just want you back again! I still have the light on for you. I'm not ready to turn it off yet! Good Night My Beautiful Baby Girl! MOMMY LOVES YOU, WITH ALL MY HEART! ❤