They say Valentines Day is the time to show that special someone in your life how much you love them.|
Well, this Valentines, I had to show that love by saying 'goodbye' to my darling Lolli as it was time to let my angel on earth become an angel in heaven.
It was the hardest thing Ive ever had to do but as I watched her laid on the vets table at 12.00pm today, no fight left in her little body, I knew, to postpone my heartache would be to cause her pain. And to do that would not be loving her in the way that I did and still do.
We'd known for many months that we were living on borrowed time. She amazed the vets at each visit with how well she was coping and how hard she was fighting. Her last blood test results were that of what should have been a weak, lifeless cat, yet there she was, telling the vet -- in no uncertain terms -- that she was still in the race for life and to watch where he was putting that thermometer!
Yes, Lollipop was a fighter, and a madam, and determined in everything and every way imaginable. Even after she lost her sight, if she wanted to climb up the chair onto the cupboard and sit amongst the ornaments, then that's exactly what she would do, or try to do as we would catch her on her way up and plonk her back on terra ferma where she was safe!
She always had to know who was doing what -- especially if the 'what' was in the kitchen. Right until the end, if she heard a crackle of a bag or a scrape of a plate -- she was there at your feet, usually before you realised, to make sure she wasn't forgotten if there was any food being dished out....as if she would be forgotten! For the past six years our lives had revolved around that little mouth, belly and bottom on legs known as Lollipop!
But, after fighting her way through God knows what Hell before I fell in love with her and claimed her as my own; heart problems; kidney problems and failure; retinal detachment leaving her totally blind; having all her teeth removed for medical reasons; arthritis and general old age, she could fight no more the part of old age that renders muscles as weak as tissue paper. My little fighter had become a wobbly, stumble a few steps then lay down ball of fur with a tiny lion cub squeak for a meow. It was time, she knew that as much as we did.
So, for her last ever car journey, we didn't banish her to the backseat in her carry box, she was bundled up and went front seat, snuggled in her mummy's arms. (I had to hold her as close as possible for as long as possible knowing it was our last few minutes together.) She never made a murmur, no struggle, whimper or whine. If she could see, she would have spent most of the journey looking into my eyes and I kept telling her how good she was, how special she was and how much we loved her.
Mummy's good little girl to the end, she was so calm, at peace almost and as she passed from this life to the next, I kissed her and told her I loved her over and over again.
Il miss you, you little sod. No more shadow following my every move at meal times; no more silent ninja sneaking up on me and tripping me up; no more daft little runner from the kitchen to your plate for your treat; no more upside-downy girl when you're asleep; just lots of warm hearted memories and almost as many pictures of my precious, my darling, my baby, my sweetheart, my good girl, my Lollipop.
Rest in peace baby girl, mummy, nannan and granddad will always love you.