Lily was everything to me. My friend, my companion, my rock. We shared a special bond. She and I would play together and take walks together. She was always there to greet me and get excited when I walked through the door. She was so beautiful and loving. I have so many memories of her in her 16 1/2 years of life. |
Lily loved Christmas presents and celebrating her birthday. She was a scavenger eater and would eat anything she came across, even underwear when she was young. She loved soft toys like the Taco Bell dog and her Lamb Lamb. She loved to chase toys that I threw down the hall and jump up to grab them from my arm. We would run around the house together. She liked playing hide and seek and going for walks. She would follow me around the house wherever I was and wait near the front door till I came home. Such loyalty.
I tried so hard to look after her the best I way I knew how. I hope it was enough. I hope she is at peace. I love you Lily with all my heart! 10/19/2106
Lily was cremated on Monday the 24th October 2016, a week after she passed away. I was lucky enough to see her that day. She looked very peaceful and looked like she was breathing. Lily was placed in a pet bed with a blanket, in a sleeping position, and she looked beautiful. I talked and cried with her and did not want to leave as I knew that this was the last time I would see her like this. It's so hard to come to grips with her passing on. Lily came to live with us in 2000 when she was 2 months old when my son was in high school and my daughter was 6 years old. She has been through so much with us. I even took her with me to Australia for a year. How will I go on without My Lily? I don't know.
My darling Lily I miss you so much. I keep talking to you and hoping that you will show me that you are here in spirit. I sleep with your green sweater every night, and will do so forever. Even though I have your ashes, it doesn't seem like it's you. Everywhere I look I see you. I can't bring myself to go for walks anymore because you are not here. This was our tradition and what made you so happy. I can still see you smiling after we came back after a long walk. Where are you? Are you happy? Please make it so. It will be 2 weeks tomorrow since you have been gone. I saw you last Monday in the pet cemetery and though you were not moving, it was you, your body. Tomorrow I won't even have that. Now I only have a box with your remains. How do I get through this? Please let me know that you are ok.
I'm so sad right now. I've been crying for 2 days on and off, particularly in the evening when I'm all alone. I miss Lily so much. I lay down in her bed and talk to her. I think about how she died. Should I have tried to keep her alive longer? What was the right thing to do? She was always trying to please me. I just miss her. 16 1/2 years she was here with me. My best friend. I don't know how to deal with this emptiness and loneliness. It was supposed to be me and her till the end. Why did she have to die?
My beautiful doggie Lily, not a day goes by that I do not think of you. Tears are a forever thing for me now and I can't seem to get over the fact that you are gone. I keep thinking that you are still here. I talk to you all the time and sleep with your green sweater every night. I feel somehow that I have failed you. I fed you what I thought was the best food, no by products, organic, and still you ended up getting lymphoma. Maybe if I had got you tested for allergies it might have helped with the itching of your paws. I don't know. Was it was something they sprayed on the lawn that made you sick? Its too late now but I second guess myself everyday. I went for a long walk today. I now feel like I am walking for both of us. I walked around and around the routes we used to take. I talked to you silently as I walked. I hope I get to meet up with you again my little Lily. Please forgive me for whatever I could of done and didn't, whatever that is. I love you and always will. I hope you are in a good place.
Lily it is your birthday tomorrow. May 2nd. You would have been 17 years old. I am so sad right now. Not a day goes by where I don't think of you. Every single day, tears well up in my eyes as I think about the walks we used to take together and the fun we had. I know I am just a stupid human, and you were way superior to me but I wish I had the insight to have been able to keep you from suffering in your last year. I feel like I failed you. Lily, I don't understand why you got lymphoma. I fed you the best food throughout your life. Well I thought it was the best food. In hindsight, I should of fed you Honest Kitchen from the beginning and not given you dry food at all. This is what I mean by me being a stupid human. I will celebrate your birthday tomorrow the way we always did, with a cake and singing Happy Birthday. I will sit in your chair and honor you. I miss you so much and I will love you forever. My beautiful Lily!
My dearest Lily, it has been almost a year since you have been gone. I still talk to you everyday and shed a tear. I still wonder if I could have done anything different to prolong your life; even though I know that you were 16 years old and that you couldn't live forever. I miss you and I am so glad that you came into my life. You were a blessing and I will forever be in your debt. Stay safe wherever you are. I hope we get to meet again. I love you my Lily!
Its getting close to the 17th. This date will mark one year without you. I'm sad just thinking about it. I feel myself thinking more and more about you Lily. Suranee bought her cat here to stay with us. Her name is Pumpkin. She is so quiet and nothing like you. I do like her though, and it is nice to have a companion animal around again. She also makes me think of my cat Lucki who I loved as much as you. Rest in peace my Lily. I'll miss you forever.
Here it is, the day I have been dreading. Today marks one year of you being gone. I woke up with anxiety, and I feel like its a year ago - the day you left. I hugged your ashes this morning, and weeped. I am not doing good today, and I wasn't prepared for this. I am trying to keep busy, but you are constantly on my mind. Where are you? I don't know what to think. Buddhism tells me that you are gone, and I know this to be true, but I am still having a hard time accepting it. I was so attached to you my Lily. I know we should follow non attachment, but I chose not to do that with you. You were my rock and my best friend. I miss you terribly, and am so grateful that you came into my life and I had the fortune to know you. What a beautiful dog you were. So pretty, and so loving. I hope we get to meet again somehow, somewhere. Rest in peace my Lily. Till next time.