My Beans,Today was just so unreal.Never thought you would have to leave us.You have fought this heart disease like a trooper.With the Grace of God and a GREAT Dr to treat you,you never knew you were sick for over a year.Last Friday mom saw you were not feeling good,I brought you to the hospital bc u needed oxygen.Unfortunately you were getting better but for some unknown reason you took a turn for the worse at 12:02 am your meds were increased and Mom got another call at 5:20 am and Mom ran to you.You were sitting up and when you saw me you just layed down,you knew Mom would help you and you could go home.I was with you when you left us and I wanted to be with you.I could not let you suffer.I miss you so very very very much.The stars are out brightly tonight,have not seen stars in the sky since I can't remember when,all the lights are lit in the backyard and some of the plants in the garden are comming up.They shouldn't be.Today we had a blue sky ,birds came by chirping..Signs from above.I love you very very much.You will always be in my heart |
and always in my soul.Mom will stop by tomorrow to write more to you..Mega Mega kisses,I love you and miss you soooooo much.
March 7 th...Hi Bean....Missing you mega...played some of the videos I took if you..Missing you soooooo very much...I can't believe your not here...I'm greatful for having so many great memories of you.You lived for your food I think sometimes.Tomie is missing you a lot .He does not have his sister of 10 years.This will be the first Birthday of Tomies you'll miss.Its the 15th of this month.I was wishing you would be here.God had another plan and there must be a reason for that.I will write to you more soon.Just wanted to tell you again how much I miss you this just seems so surreal ..Love you mega mega mega..love always ma..
March 8th...Hi Bean..another rough day without you..You were so much part of so many moments of my day.Morning mom would pet you gently to wake you because you did not hear too well and I did not want to startle you.When you woke you stretched out and I scratched your back and your belly.Sometimes you did not want to get up you were a lazy bug.I kept on going to get you bc we had a time schedule especially when mom had to go to work.4am on work days your meds started you had to take 2 tumel k pills for your potassium and I had to make sure you had your hard boiled egg whites with it or you woukd not take it and you needed food with those pills.God Bless you,you even got me to scramble you an egg at 4 am. wouldn't do that for just anybody...Love ya..Then came 6 am and we did your other morning meds.Mom had your afternoon meds on schedule and evening meds..You had special treats mom made you and at first you loved them then when you got tired of them you would nudge them away from you when I went to give it to you..God I love you..Your shelf of all special goodies is empty in the fridge..Boy do I hate that..Wish you were still here with me to keep testing me,what healthy treats would she eat now with no sodium and has potassium..
March9 th..Hey bean..Another day without you..Was strange this morning again..Got ready for work and you were missing..No you with your screeching bark for breakfast..It's just sooo very different..It's empty...You were such a big part of this house ...Well today at work some people felt bad you passed and other people just don't get it...Well my Bean the people who don't get it are missing out on a great love...A love like no other..I'm so happy I get it...There's nothing that can compare to the relationship we had and still have..We are not physically together but spiritualy we will always be .You will always be in my heart and soul and I know I'm in yours forever..I know your still around and always will be..Just wish I could hug you and give you kisses...I will stop by soon and write you...I love you always and forever Ma...xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Sunday March 10th...Hey Beans...Mom fixed up your resting place in our garden.Dad helped too.We leveled it all out and extended behind you.Moms going to put Saint Francis of Assi around by you.Need to reconfigure the garden.Your place is going to be just beautiful just like you.Moms looking for your stone think I am going to get the same one that Rusty has.I think the stone with the rainbow bridge poem and bridge etched in the granite is pretty.Your picture will be etched into it also.Mom needs to pick out a picture.
Wednesday March 13 th...Hey Beans Fixed up your garden spot today had lots of rain yesterday .Tomie's still down without you..House is not the same..We were just reminiscing about you today..God love ya..you were one in a million..Mom made a picture wall of all the photos I printed of you..Looks pretty..You are a beautiful little girl in so many ways...I love you mega mega...nite...Love always and forever Ma xo xo
Monday March 18th..Hi Beans..Took your brother today to see Dr.Schrope to get checked.Thank God he does not have a murmur..Celebrated Tomies birthday the other day.Its not the same without you.Nothing is the same without you..Recieved 2 cards from Dr.schrope,Dr Shi,Dr Berkowitz and a card from Steph a cardio assistant at Oradell..It was very nice and touching,they loved you too..Moms having a lousy night missing you so very much...I know your in a better place and it's better for you but I miss you..Run,play and bark be happy...Love you soooo very much...Ma
Sunday April 7th..Hi Bean...Thinking about you lots and lots.Keep going over everything in my mind about you......Anyways,Mom and Dad were working on the garden today.It coming along nice.Alot of work but well worth it,It's for all you kids.Its your garden.We are laying bricks.Its going to be beautiful,bought some heather plants in a real pretty purplish color and an off white color..Ordered your stone waiting to get it delivered.I picked out a beautiful picture of you ,but then again all your pics are beautiful.i have you in the candle ceremony tomorrow again..I love you mega mega..Love always Ma