My dear little girl, I have not been able to write about you until now. I see you everywhere in our home and still feel your spirit in every room. It has been very hard for us to accept that you are no longer here to share our lives. Grandma, Daddy and I miss you so much and cry both happy and sad tears everyday. Your sisters, Cleo, Kukla and Coco miss you so much. They keep waiting for us to bring you through the door...they sniff your favorite places only to walk away sad and confused because you are not in any of those spots.|
We were telling your story to someone this morning and so I decided to try to write today. You were the smallest puppy. You were timid and probably wondered what you had gotten yourself into...2 older sisters and one other brand new puppy all at home waiting for you. There was Cleo, Kukla, brand new Coco and you needed a name. We liked Clover since you were #4 (4 leaf clover), but to keep the name rhythm going, we spelled it Klover. We put you down so everyone could get a sniff and you immediately ran under the little red toy wagon. This would become the first of many things you would sit under. You were playful and sweet, but within a few weeks started to get very sick. You refused to eat and as a result became severely hypoglycemic and we had to feed you with a syringe to keep you alive. You really hated being scooped up and force fed, but you slowly got stronger and finally one day ate 14 bits of kibble all on your own. Daddy was at work and still remembers getting a call from me hardly able to speak through the tears of joy! From that point on you not only ate and ate well, but you wanted to finish any food your sisters would not finish. I think that from the beginning since you needed more of our attention, you and I became very close. You would follow me everywhere in the house. You would bark for me to pick you up and keep you in my lap while I worked in the office. You would push doors open to enter a room if I did not fully close the door. You were my delightful shadow. We loved to play hide and seek and you were relentless in your efforts to find me. While all of your sisters are playful and loving, no one enjoyed toys more than you. You could play by yourself just barking and talking to your toys. You worked so hard at dismembering soft toys and pulling all the stuffing out until you scored the prize squeaker...then you would play with the squeaker until it was silenced. Whenever we would go out and come home with bags you would bark until we should you the contents of every bag and prove that we bought something other than more toys for you! We would hide new toys in the hall closet. One day you saw our stash and from that point on any time that door opened you ran in the closet to go on a hunt. We would accidently close you in that closet at least once a day and finally decided to move the new toy stash to the garage. And once you discovered that we would leave all bags with toys in the garage (thanks to Daddy showing you), you would wait in the laundry room by the door to the garage. Your determination was unyielding.
Three years ago when you were diagnosed with diabetes, my heart sank. I was so afraid of needles and just could not imagine how I would ever be able to give you the necessary injections. Your Daddy was able to give you the injections for the first few days, but I felt terrible putting that full responsibility on him, so one morning I decided to try. My hand was shaking and when it was over I felt faint. But each day I would push myself to give you at least one injection until it became routine and finally my hand was steady and it was nothing to help you live. You never batted an eye. You remained determine to be the alpha of the pack, play hard, love hard and became our inspiration. You helped me overcome a lifelong fear and made me a better human. We adjusted your diet and made sure we were doing all we could to keep you healthy, so a year and half later when you began drinking a lot and you were getting fussy about your food, we thought your insulin had to be adjusted. You cannot imagine how helpless we felt when your doctor told us you had elevated kidney numbers and that there was no cure for what you had. We prayed that your renal failure would not advance quickly and began doing as much research as possible to learn what we could do to ensure your quality of life. It was a true challenge to balance the diet of a diabetic with the diet of dog with renal failure, but we found a happy medium that you agreed to eat. As your renal failure advanced we learned to administer SubQ fluids a few times a week. As time went on, you needed the treatments daily to keep you feeling well. You never fussed. You would sit and give us kisses while we did fluid treatments. You would become restless near the end of the treatment because you had things to do...toys to play with, things to bark at, you were busy, busy, busy and all that sitting was just not part of your plan! Nothing was going to slow you down! So last summer when you got sick and we were told it was a severe bout of pancreatitis we were devastated. You were hospitalized for days, but your vet assured us you were getting better...and better you did get! You came home full of life, leading the charge and so full of spirit. The pancreatitis had a negative effect on your kidneys and we needed to begin doing more frequent treatments with larger amounts of fluid. You showed some improvement and rebounded beautifully so when you got sick in March we really thought we had SUPER DOG and remained hopeful that you would recover from another bout of pancreatitis. You had fought such a brave battle for so long, always determined to get back to normal. You recovered from your pancreatitis, we were able to stabilize your glucose, but your little kidneys were just tired. I often told you that if my kidneys would have helped you could have had one of them...you just so wanted to live a long life, but that was not be. What you did do my baabee was live a full life. The decision to put you to rest was the most difficult decision Daddy and I have ever had to make. When your Doctor brought you into the room for us to all be together you were not shaking, you were peaceful. Daddy held your back half and I had my face up to yours, receiving your last kisses as the doctor gave you the injection. You made sure my last memory of you is as sweet as all of the others we created before that moment.
I love you. I miss you. I am surrounded by your memories and promise to always cherish what you gave me. Without a doubt kLOVEr is LOVE with a K and a R.
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