INKY IS MY FONDEST MEDITATION....|
His velvety forehead, his pink/gray nose,
His amazing straight long white whiskers,
His chinny chin chin with its wild hairs,
His deep soft green eyes,
His crown of silver gray fur,
His pure white roughy (gotee)
His expressive, affectionate reaching paws,
His eyes that squint at me when he wants love,
His pure white bib of fur,
His one little fang hanging over his lip on the left side,
His very direct gaze right at me,
His gentle purr when he is relaxed,
His soft squishy tummy so sensitive to the touch!
His plumey tail forever moving back and forth,
That back leg that kicks when he wants you to stop,
His right paw of pure white that goes in and out when he feels love,
His amazing fur growing in tufts between his claws,
His incessant talking all day long about everything (my friend Shelly called him "Charlie Chatterbox"!!)
His profile on the porch under his chair when I am making dinner and look out
at the porch and see him there looking back at me,
His "running greeting" when I come in and immediately start giving him the "gush-a- gush" treatment all over his body - especially hard on his back and then his scooting down low to the floor in pure ecstacy at my touch and rolling over to show me his pink tummy (which means he really loves and trusts me! Yea!)
His anxious, excited jump on the couch to get his snacks, after the gush-a-gush treatment, from my hand when I come in from work at night,
His waiting outside the bathroom door for me
to finish getting ready for bed,
His beautiful, bushy, Maine Coony tail which I could always see from the bathroom as I washed up, right on the carpet
outside the door,just patiently waiting for me to finish.
His walking with me - together side by side as we go to bed,
His quick, spry jump up on his step and then onto the bed,
His quiet little walk on the bed over to the crook of my left arm and shoulder,
As he puts his body down and settles into that groove with his beautiful head on my shoulder as we go to sleep, or maybe I read and he just watches,
His very classy and quiet way of liking to be alone completely when using his litter,
And his loving to sit on my lap for more gush-a-gush treatment when I was in the bathroom
His constant talking at 5:30 am because he is starving and wants to go out
on the porch to see what is going on outside- (he had cat friends who would come in the early am but not if I was around, so I would let him out to be by himself and cat call for his friends and they came......)
His presence in my thoughts all day long when I was at work...
His unconditional love and constancy in my life for 18 years.
BLESS DEAR LORD THIS PRECIOUS PERSON YOU HAVE ENTRUSTED TO ME, KEEP HIM SAFE AND HAPPY IN HIS LIFE, IN HIS LITTLE HEART AND
IN HIS LITTLE MIND. HELP ME TO MAKE HIS WORLD FUN, INTERESTING AND FULL OF LOVE.
(This was written by me in 1997 in the form of a prayer to our dear Lord to bless my Inky every day. I edited it in 2010 when Inky left me. It is inspired by my constant, unconditional, everlasting love for my very precious Inky Dinky Do.
My beautiful, precious Maine Coon Kitty, Inky left me physically on October 25, 2010 at 11:45 pm after being sick for about 7 months off and on - he looked at me and I knew it was time, I could not let him down. He could not get oxygen in his lungs....It was the most terrible night of my entire life and it was the most heart breaking and terrible thing I have ever done in my life......I will never be the same without him, it haunts me still.......I still do not know how I got through that first night without him, but something sweet did happen and gave me a link to him and or last night together....... I was sitting on the sofa crying my guts out and the QVC home shopping club was on my TV - I had to have noise around me - the silence was deafening as he was always talking to me though that night he was strangely quiet almost as if he knew and for some reason I cancelled all the things I had to do that night to stay home with him, I felt he needed me to be there. I thank God I did ....as little did I know it was to be our last night together......anyway, somehow this little turtle ring came on TV (turtles are for "protection" ) - almost the color of his eyes and I ordered it for myself as it represented protection for him away from me and for me away from him. I never do those things, it was out of context for me to order something on TV but in my grief it seemed right and now I have it and I wear it every day. It always reminds me of him and our last night together on this earth and the suffering he and I went through that night separating from each other. It still goes on.... that suffering even three months later......I did have a one and only dream where he ran up to me and showed me his terrfied face - I never saw such terror on a face of any kind in my life, but to see it on is face totally devastated me, I woke up shaking and my heart beating too fast so that I could not catch my breath........and so upset to think he was that scared of something....to this day I am not sure what it meant and I pray he comes back and tells me he is all right......the only thing that helps me is to know that he is at peace and waiting for me... I pray. My life is an empty hole without my constant companion, the love of my life, but I do feel he is here and I talk to him constantly. For a long time every picture frame in my home will have a different picutre of him in it. I have a memorial to him in my living room and his ashes are here with me always. I have a piece of his fur which I clipped the night he left me, in a white gauze bag with stars on it and a silver star charm hanging from it that says "with love"..........it travels on my person everywhere I go every day of my life. My dear father many years ago, when Ink was young, blew up a picture of him, a portrait of him at age four or five sitting on a sofa, it is about 20" by 30", it is on the easel in my living room and I kiss it all over every day at least three times. I am so happy to have that portrait, thank you daddy so much. Little did I know how very much it would mean to have that picture. I pray to dream of him and I pray he is at that "Rainbow Bridge" they talk about, waiting for me to arrive. Until then, I pray to Our Lord every day that he is with his brother Puddy whom he adored, and his sister, Pebbles and that they are together with my beautiful Mom - who also loved them all.
When I do arrive............ I will be looking only for him and we will never, ever part again in any way.......
Inky my love this is for you my sweet angel. You gave me such joy and you still do. I am still crying for you - it is eleven weeks ago tonight that you and I physically parted. Mondays are so hard for me...so many thoughts and feelings about that night. I know it is hard for you too.... Please know my darling as I tell you every morning and every night when I kiss that huge picture of you that I have hanging in your memorial area, that I love you I miss you and I am so empty without the sound of your meow chatter all the time and your rollover on the couch for gush-a-gush tummy cuddling and kissing - I so miss nuzzling into your fur, your smell always so sweet and fresh so my Inky, your fur so silky and soft, never is there to be anyone like you my Inkster, my little big man, my special maine coon kitty boy, my Charlie Chatterbox....I talk to you all the time I hope you hear me. and I hope honey you hear me when I say that now you go with me everywhere - I know you did not like the car,but now your blanket is on the seat every day beside me and we go everywhere together, You even go on my runs with me and we have such fun don't we? Perhaps that is the second best thing about all of this misery - that you can be with me everywhere and don't have to wait for me to come home! You did not like me to leave, but I used to tell you that I had to go to work so we could eat, and play and have a nice home to be together in, you would look at me and do that "radar" thing with your ears and then kind of give me the "butt" treatment. Remember? My heart breaks and cries out just to hold you again and kiss your nose and to have you nestle into my shoulder at night to read and sleep, it is the hardest thing I have ever done, to be without you... I wonder what the hardest thing is for you? I hope and pray that there is nothing hard. Because the best thing about this whole misery is that you are at peace and feeling good and with your Puddy boy...waiting for me... My love for you is eternal Ink,I love you, I love You, I love you honey and I miss miss miss you sooooooooo much. No one will ever be in my heart as you are...no one.
January 17, 2011 - hi my precious love. The kids were here to visit again, I took all of your precious thing with me to dad's condo where we all stayed together. I love you my angel,my Inkster,my Inkspot....it does not change my darling beauty. I see your face and I hear your meow. Only wish I could hold you touch you and feel you. that dream I had where I saw your terrified face still haunts me. I pray that is not how you were feeling ...pls when you can cme again and let me know you are OK. I live for that moment. I love you, I miss you, I kiss you and your wonderful self every morning and every night and all the moments in between. It is 3 monsths agao today you made your trip to the Rainbow bridge. I hope you have found all the friends you knew and the new oneswho have sent there thoughts to us. So many wonderfu peple have lost precous furbabies like you. You should have a lot of friends where you are. You are in my heart and soul and my only joy is that you are healthy and happy with your friends. My friends the lugos and deb and especially emily send you love all the time. Emily told me that she could feel you were happy and having fun and that I should not worry. From and 8 year old's wisdom and heart to your ears.....be happy my love. Remember that little ring I bought well it is always on me, your picture in its protector is always on my purse or briefcase, and your album of your life is always in it. your little (though never as soft or silky) is always with me and your special blanket still sits on the car seat beside me when I drive. And that little clump of fur I took is in its precious gauze bag with a metal silver star attached to it that says "with love" - that is always on my body, in a pocket or somewhere. No one's love compares to your's my darling Inkspot...my gush a gush. xx000 on your beautiful pink nose.
January 18, 2011
Ink guess what? I just read all the cards from all the people they are so wonderful and made me feel so much better. You see they all lost a loved fur angel too and so they know how sad Mommy is and they sent cards to you and me about that. Such wonderful people- they have asked there lost beloved furbabies to get in touch with you so that you can all have fun together. I hope that will happen for you. I know you will with me send them heartfelt thanks for their thoughts and the time they took to send and write. The sun is shinning and your place on the porch is so empty without you - please come and sit outside with me and we can marvel at the lake, the animals, the birds that made you cackle with glee and the big dogs that come and sniff to see what you are! the little gray kitty has been looking for you ..it is so sad remember him he used to come up to the screen on the porch and sniff you and you would kind of hiss and then whine for him to stay with you. You were always so very happy on your porch with me. I know it is crazy but I painted a statue - it is a cement garden statue - of a beautiful long haired cat reclning with its tal spread out and head a little tilted just like you used to do - it was black... well I painted it gray and gave it a white roughy and white paws and I put it under your chair with the lace around the chair just like you want so you can peek out the holes of the lace to see what is out there. I still have the stroller and cannot part with it.You made life fun and full. I kiss you, I love you, I miss you and the porch awaits you....come see me my sweet silky litte man.
January 24, 2011
Hello my precious angel. It is 13 weeks ago tonight that you left us. It is so hard to believe still that you are not here with me. I know and I pray that you are happy and more settled and that your sorrow is lessening I still feel you here as I always will and we still walk in to bed together every night. We always will. I hope you feel the love coming to you and the warmth and magic of all that love. The candles stilll burn as I write to you now. It is not easier without you but I am starting just a little bit to understand and be so thankful that you are in the best place you can be and that makes me happy. Stay with me and I will always be with you. Send me some angel kisses when you can and any other little sign that you are with me. I see your beautiful face and those glowing green eyes everywhere I go you are so so special. So wonderful - I talk to you constantly I hope you hear it all. I am writing down a memory a day and some of them are so incredible the wa you loved to play with pens and how I had to make sure that every pen in sight had a top on it becuase you would somehow get them and if you fell and got hurt on a pen, Mommie would never be able to handle that. You loved to toss them around and chase them. What I especially loved was when you would do your nose thing with them and just nuzzle them hard but of course they had to be in my hand and I had to be trying to do something. I still see it and feel it every time I go to write something....today's memory was your voice, how I wish I had a recording of that meow especially earlly in the am when you wanted to go out on the proch. I could see you this am sitting in the doorway just talking away until a sleepy me looked at you and woke up and then led you to the porch where you excitedly went out to look and catcall to your friends. You are amazing! tomorrows memory will be the cackling at the birds...what an incredible sound you would make. You are such a great guy! You had such fun doing that. If I had it to do over I would try to never leave. Sleep well in peace and love in your beautiful home and know that I will be talking to you day every day. Be happy my angel Love you my baby...Mommie XO
January 25, 2011 Hi sweetie! Mommie is back tonight because at this very moment three months ago on October 25 you left me and this world in a physical way. Your spirit is strong and in every room of this house and in every fiber of my being. I have lit the kitty candle for you and I sit here crying and thinking of you in all your wonderful glory! My only consolation being that you are happy and that you feel good, better than you did 3 months ago and that you are content. I know you miss me my precious and please know that it is OK to miss me as I miss you and it is also OK to feel good and to be happy and to play with Puddy and Pebbles and your friends. You deserve that fun and peace my baby. You are such a good kitty - such a good man, such a good son to your Mommie - you are the best there is Inkspot - no one will ever surpass you in any way. You are still and always will be my best, bestest friend in the whole wide world!
Monday, January 31, 2011 Hi baby it is Mommie come to see you. We just lit the candles for all our babies and I lit mine for you my precious. I hold you every night and take you with me wherever I go. Your picture is in my purse and on my desk at work always with me...as is your red blanket. I am yours...xxoo
Monday, February 7, 2011 - Hi my sweet darling..I hope you are well and becoming more peaceful inside. I miss you baby it never ends.I had some real good memories of you and me. Remember when we would sit outside and you would sit on the rope stool in front of me and I would sketch you. I found some of those sketches, they are so precious to me and I am making a special book, I also found poems I wrote to you from 1997 on. They are so great... just like you. This poem was written as you tried to play with the pen and get it from me as I wrote so it is hard to understand but here it is.. but first baby it was 14 weeks ago tonight we said our good bye in this world and I cry so hard at that memory. When you came to me in a panic in that dream I think that is what you were saying, that you did not want to go. I will never leave you now. I am right here where you left me whenever you need me.
Monday, February 14, 2011 - hi my precious and Happy Valentine's Day to my very precious precious love...the only one who holds my heart forever. I thought of you so much today and sent you all my love on this day of love. My heart sings to know that you are better, peaceful, feeling good, not lonely as you have Pud and Pebs and I am always right here where you left me just thinking and yearning for you my baby. His name is Inky Dinky Do, He sits with me each morning for a while, As I collect myself and set the pace to live another day with a "smile", For "quiet time" is what I call it, It sets my soul for the day, it helps me to set my pace...with harmony and grace ...with all I have to do, For if it weren't for "quiet time" I would not have a hope to cling to, Now, on I go and Inky too, to set our heart's mind straight. I will go off to work today while Inky sits home to sleep and wait, For my long return some 10 hours later... when I burst through the door I seek him out and only him and he sees me in his joy...and then does get a back scratch that turns him tummy-up side down and makes my world again so totally found...." I send my love tonight and I will cuddle you in bed with me as I always do. ... I love you Inky Dinky Do
Monday, February 21, 2011 Hello my angel..it is mommie.I love you, I miss you so so so much. I see your beautiful face all around me and around our home. You are so here all the time, I want you to be happy and healthy and having fun. . You truly are the one and only love of my life. how deafening is the silence without you..I wish I had recorded your voice, that is my biggest regret... I hold you to me every night ...I love you so much. Nighty night
Monday, February 28, 2011 - Hello my beautiful boy - how are you this week! I dreamt of you and I saw you - you were looking for me because I wasnot home. I was visiting my friend viv who is very sick and you came to me looking for me outside the bathrom door. But there you were my own adorable Inkspot looking right at me. It felt like we never parted. You came looking for me like you always did. I can still see you magnificent face beaming. I hope and pray that means you arewell and settling in and happy with Puddy and Pebbles, and Baca and Margie, But do not be sad when you see me cry remember how it is just a "people thing" and that I cry because I miss you with me.I remember the bed not getting made for hours..but who cares.... you and I had fun and you would fall asleep there.I send you butterfly kisses
Mon. March 7, 2011 Hello my very precious darling. I hope you are happy and feelng good with Puddy and Pebbie too. I miss you soooo much, and I love you sooo much.I was having a memory of you and me when you were young, you chasing the beer caps around the house and retrieving them. We call our game "tops" and many cats since you and me have learned that game. How you loved it and how you loved it when I told you how good you were and how fast and amazing you did it!! You were so happy. Remember when you me and Pud did it together, you were always so fast, but poor Pud he was 9 years older than you and he was pretty amazing too.How you loved your Puddy boy! I love you my angel. I kiss your nose XO
Monday, March 14, 2011...Hi my sweet angel, I hope you are better, happy with Puddy & Pebbies
and Baca.Every day holds another memory of you and me. I was thinking how your beautiful long gray silvery fur used to blow in the wind when I took you for walks. You loved it and would look back to make sure I was there. We had so much fun you and I. It was always you and me doing fun things. The bond we have is a forever bond and we are attached by that gold cord that binds us to each other. Our love will see us to be together again never to part. I still and will always and forever want to hold you, kiss your precious nose, kiss your pink tummy and rush home to see you and enjoy a night with you. My heart is so sad, but I think you are comfy and cozy and loved by friends and by our own Dear God. He keeps you safe and happy for me. I feel you everywhere, today. We had fun, it was a warm sunny day in Florida and we stayed outside like we used to do. Stay around me Ink, do not ever leave no matter what happens. And always remember that no one matters to me as much as you do. No one ever will. You are still with me and you always will be. I so miss your constant chatter. I wish I had a recording of your voice. Ink you need to know that you are a magic kitty, that God was so good to send you to me.such a special guy..Thank you my baby for being so wonderful.
Monday, March 21, 2011 - it is 21 weeks tonight honey that you left. I still cry and miss you terribly and I now realize that I always will...forever Inky. Mommie love is forever. I know you are happy and feeling good and that tickles my heart with happiness. I just miss seeing your beautiful face and holding your precious body to me. I cherish you my darling, Just remember to keep the love light burning and to have fun ....I am sending you all my love and all my heart light to carry it to you.
Monday, March 28, 2011..Hello my sweet little man. 22 weeks tonight... Oh How I miss you and love you!! You will never know how I love you. It warms me and keeps my world alive. Since you left it is not the same. It is sad, and the joy is gone. I remember you in so many ways that I love to think about. Your eyes looking for everything around you, your voice calling me all the time and your running when you were so happy to see me. I miss that so much. The joy you give me darlin' can never be repeated. God sent me an angel for my life for a little while and then my angel had to go I take you inmy heart wherever I go.You and I are attached forever Ink. Never will we part. I kiss your pink nose, your beautiful eyes, your gushy tummy and under your precious chin.....I send you gushagushs and all my love, Nighty Night my angel boy.
Monday, 4/4/11 - 23 weeks my baby you have been gone. It still hurts Mommie just like the first day. I love you so much and I still miss you like my right arm is missing....that will never ever change. I know that now. I would so love to see your face and hold you to me. I pray some day you will come to me in a dream that I might see and hear your wonderful voice talking, chattering away to me ....I miss you voice,your smell, your feel, no other furbaby has ever felt the way you do, no one ever will. I pray you are feeling good, and that you are at peace where you are. Remember when I tried to take you for rides in the buggy I bought so that you could be outside. I do not think you ever really got the hang of it because you did not feel good. I wanted you to feel the air and give you as much fun as I could because I did not know how much longer you would be with me. I hope you know Ink how hard I tried and how devoted I was and am to you. That will never change just as my undying love will never change. I send butterfly kisses on your beautiful pink nose. My arms hold you Be well my sweet baby, Mommie loves you kisses all over.
Monday 4/11/11 - hello my precious, it is six months ago tonight that you left me on your journey.
My sweetie the pain of your leaving is still here and always will be. You truly are a magic kitty and I search for you, your eyes and your voice. It is empty without you. But I do feel you....so stay close. Cujo Kitty and Lestat. I told them all about you. I saved them and I did it as a thank you to give back - now you will have two more brothers to play with. I think you would like them. They are not you and I do not love them as I love you. I will take good care of them but you are the King of this house and always will be forever and ever. I have you in my heart and my minds eye. You are the angel that blesses us and watches over us. Be with us always and we are with you. No one else is like you. I send you all my love, I miss your run to me at night. I will always all my life miss that, it hurts and I can see you running now with your tail high. Be safe, and wait for me.
4/18/11 - 25 wks without you. I do not know how I am doing it. I miss you, I love you so very much. I yearn to see your face, hear your meow. I cherish you and my memories of us. I hope you know how much I wanted you to stay but how I knew you needed to go and be out of pain. Now you can walk and see and hear and feel and I pray you feel better. That makes my heart sing. I send you all my love, all my adoration and constant thoughts. You are theangelof my life and I carry you in my heart for eternity...no matter how long, we will be together and then nver part. Watch over us Ink and be here with me always. Never leave....please come to see me when you can. Nighty night
4/25/11 - it is 6 mos today my angel, Happy Easter, I thought of you running inthe grass with your beautiful gray fur shimmering in the breeze...you were so wonderful outside, how you loved it. I hope you can run outside where you are and love it with puddy and pebbles and all your new friends. YOu are the prince of my heart and I miss youso much it still hurts so much. I feel you and know you come back to see me, I wish you could tell me that you are OK. I kiss youonyour nose and on you beautiful head every day and I hug you to me every night. You are the best part of me and you are gone in one way only and here all the time. This is your home and we will be here together for a long time.I love you..I hug you to me. Nighty night Mommie XXO
5/2/11 - Hi my baby. I love you & I miss you so much. You are all around me and in my heart, I feel you and I feel like you are OK. Please let me know that you are OK.I will always miss you forever. It is not something that will change. Memories fill my heart, your eyes,your cackle I wish I could hear that one more time. I adore you. My heart breaks without you. I send my love to keep you warm and my thoughts to fill your life.I hold you to my heart Kisses my lovey, Momie
5/9/11 - My angel it is 28 weeks..still I cry. I take you with me wherever I go and will miss your presence here at home.You live on here precious. I love you. Nose kiss..
Monday, May 30 - 7 months you have been gone my angel. And still my heart aches for you. Miss you so much. I always will. I see you and hear your voice and just want tohold you to me forever.
I went to CA to get grampy and now I amhere back where you can find me. I speak to you every day and hold you inmy heart and mind every moment. It does not change Ink - it never will. I have a dull ache that travels life with me until Ihold you again and we share that love we have.
Monday 6/13/11 - 33 weeks my baby. I love you Ink more and more and more. It does not change. You are the angel of my life. You light my life with memories. You are my Inkspot,my heart and I send nose xx and momie hugs.
6/25/11 - 8 MONTHS AGO TONIGHT you left. I miss you and I love you more and more every day. My heart aches for you Ink. You are my angel and I hold you in my heart to stay forever. I still cry for only you. I miss your eyes,your meow to me and your cuddle at night. No one in any way can ever replace you. I cannot believe you have been gone so long from me. Please come and see me and tell me you are OK. I just want you to come in my dreams and tell me that. You are the best and I miss you so much. Nighty night. Hold me in your heart. My Inker I love you. I send you kisses and my love ...
6/27/11 - Mon. 8 mnths ago tonight you left me my precious I love you, my heart breaks tohave you backwith me ....forever. I send you all my love, all my thoughts and my constant wish that you be here again with me.You are my life's joy.Mommie Loves Inky XXOO
Monday, July 11 - 38 weeks tonite baby. ...come to me my baby. I just want to hold you ...be happy, nighty nite my love.I kiss you and hug you to me XO
July 23 - it's Inky's 18th Birthday!!! Oh how I miss you and love you my furry angel! Have a Happy Birthday at the bridge my Inkspot! I send you cake,ice cream, roses, tuna and catnip too! I think of us on all your birthdays with white cake and a candle and crinkle ribbon - I hope you have some to chew on!! I love you more and more, You are in my heart and I will think of you and all our years today ..I wish you love, health,fun,tuna, ribbons and ice cream. I send my love right to your heart. Stay in my heart and have a kittywompus day. I kiss your nose, I hug your precious body I gushagush your tummy and a head cuddle too. Mommie Loves U.XO Happy Birthday lovey!
8/1/11 - hi sweetie..it is 41 weeks you have been gone. I donot know how I do it. I miss you so much. It still hurts so much and I just long for you and only you.You are the one I love and adore. I cannot wait to see you again. They do not replace you and make me miss you more. I miss cuddling you at night in my shoulder. I miss your voice andyour eyes, your cackle, your rip snorts at night. I hope in your heart you know how I tried to make you better. It still haunts me Ink. Gushagush my love.
8/17/11 -hello sweetie. I am going to travel tomorrow. Please come with me, please guard and protect Cujo and Lestat your brothers. I take you in my arms and travel as we always did. I love you baby and I miss you so much it still hurts so much.No one is ever to be you, you are here and inside of me in my heart. Come and stay and guard over us as we travel. Stay in my heart know how much I love, adore and miss you every single moment of every day. I will be talking to you please come to see me. I send you all my devoted love and my fond memories of you and me. Off we would go on the plane.. you would be so brave. Please know I could never leave you home alone. I hope you were OK. I loved every moment with you.
8/29/11 - it is 10 months tonite my sweetie! Oh how I miss you..so much. I just want to see you and hold you. No one will ever come close to what you are to me. I hold you and I send you all my love and devotion. You are in my heart. My memories are good and everday I have another but it would be a dream to have you come to me to tell me you are OK. Please try. My heart aches for you. It still hurts Ink so bad. I hope and pray you are happy and feeling good. You are the best little person I know and I thank you for being in my life. Do not ever go just stay never ever to part. I hold you forever and will never leave you. Nighty night my love. Your momma adores you.nose kiss
9/5/11 - time marches on and I am without you my angel. I miss you so much it hurts so much. It willnever ever change. there is a part of my life Inky that isyou, and that part is onhold. It is so strange nt to have you here with me. I want to feel you here and see you, please come to visit. You are the one and only one I love. No one replaces you in any way. This is your home and I will always be here waiting for you. Sit on my shoulders like you did and stay with me always. Travel, run and walk with me.I cherish every moment with you. I kiss your nose, I hug youto me....xxMom
9/19/11 - hello my love. I am here for you missing you and holding you in my heart and mind forever. It is almost 11 months since you left and I cannot believe so long I hve lived without you. Time goes on and still I cry for my angel to be here. Be happy, have fun and know that your mommie is forever thinking of you and sending you gushagushes and nose kisses. I have memories every day and I live them over and over. I still talk to you and always will. You are the special person of my life You are the king of our hearts and we hear you and love you. Momie loves Inky
9/26/11 - 11 months baby...and still it hurts so much. You are such a good angel. I thank you baby for coming to me and being the love of my life. My memories of you are so strong and clear.I love youso much and Miss you so much all the time. Be here, stay here. Remember always being together onthe porch and how you are still there with me. I ask dear Jesus to bless and keep you. I hug you and kiss you from my heart. Momie loves Inky XX000
10/3/11-baby it is October already and I am without you.I miss you so.. Think of you allthetime and hold you inmy heart. I see your yes and kiss your nose. I cuddle your tummy and wish for you.Please know that it does not change, my love for you goes on and on until I hold you to me again. You are my joy and my pride and my own boy. You are first in my heart and soul and I crry you wherever I go. Be here baby always. I hold you tonight Momie loves Inky 4evr
10/17/11 - it is almost a yr My lovey..I cannot believe it. I cherish you and I carry youinmy heart. You are the angel of my life. I miss you so deeply and I cry still. Be happy and know how much Momie adores her beautiful Inkster. Joy of my life and angel of my soul. I still can hear you and wish you could come to me. I hold you to me and kiss your tummy. Momie loves you so much..wait for me. Hve fun & love a lot.
10/25/11 - a year my baby. I canot believe it. I still cry for you. Though the tears are less and I feel you are content. I hold you in my heart forever. My Inkster I remember all the happy and wonderful things we did. I hear your voice my lovey and I see thos eyes. I keep you near me at night Ink, and I look at you every single day. I am sad today, it is impossible to think of life without you physically in it. I am here, please come to see me in my dreams. Please be around me. I kiss your nose, I give you gushagushes, I miss you in every way.You are the angel of my life and my soul.Have fun, be with puddy and wait for me.we will never part once I hold you again. Think of that day and be happy. I love and adore you. I hug you,nighty night my love, Momie Loves Inky more than everXO
11/7/11 - time goes on my baby and still I cry for you. I miss youso much and hold you to my heart. Please be happy and know I adore you. I love you so, be happy I kiss you, I hug you, gushagush on your back...love you my heart, my life. My inkspotXO
Nov 21 - hello my angel. I miss you and still love you more than anyone else in the whole wide world. That will never change.
Nov 28 - a year and a month my sweet love. I still cry for you and miss you so much. I love you more than anything in the world. You are so special. thank youmy angel for being with me and for putting up with all the sad stuff at the end. I am sosorry you had to get sick.Please come to see me. Mommie Loves Inky...forever
12/19 - almost Christmas baby and I think of you and the garlands you loved. I see you on the plane withme andyur red hat & bow. I will carry you with me all the way up. Plese have a Merry Christmas - know that I adore and cherishyou. You are the joy of my heart and soul. Under the tree will be a present for you..and only you. I will hug you to me. Come and be my lovey and stay with me. Be happy, be healthy and hve fun at the bridge at Chris...My furry boy you are the best man, the best cat I know! I miss you so much... I love you, I send you nose kisses & gushagushesMomie loves Inky!! XX00
1/2/12- Hapy New Year my love, my angel baby. I send you love and memories and thoughts and want you to know that I still cry for only you. There is no other love. You are the special angel, smart, beautifl, funny, adorable, pink nose, white tummy angel of my life. I want you to behappy and have fun. In 2012 please try to come to see me. Just for a minute..Ihold youbaby, Inose kiss you,I gushagush your back. I send love feelings in my heart to yourheart. I remember all the years and allthe fun and my soul misses you and in this year I will hold you close to me every single day. I love you & miss youso much. NN my Ink,X0
1/9/12 - time goes on and still I cry. You are the best and Ihold you dear to me forever. I will nver stop crying for you until Ihold youonce more close to my heart. Behappy andknow that you are the best. I love you so much and keep you in my mind's eye always. I hope you liked your gift. Play and wait for me. I adore you. Gushagush baby, Momie Loves Inkspot. Nose X
1/1612- my sweet Inker..love you, miss you. Memories of you are in my heart every night and morning. I talk to u. Mommie loves Inky!I miss your voice & you eyes. You are my love angel and I send you my love and tears with this candle light. Let it keep you warm in my love and me in yours. Forever I wait for you and me to be together. Hugs and nose kisses baby...be happy and know I carry you everywhere I go. I love you my Inkspotxxo
1/25/12 - Hello my dearest angel! It is 15 months ago tonight you left home. I know inmy heart you r happy & healthy, but I still miss you so much I cry all the time. Know my angel how much you mean to me.that will never change..ever. I love you more than anyone else & I hold you to me every night in bed.Nose kisses & gushagushes my darling. Have a good week.
1/30/12 - Hey my sweetie!!! I love u & I miss you. My heart calls your name every day Inky. You are my boy. I pray u r happy and feeling good. I woke up today just seeing you and wishing you were in the crook of my left arm. Be happy my baby and enjoy your life. Wait for me, for I will be there to hold you forever & ever before you know it. Give all my love to you, then puddy, then pebbles and my Bacca too. I hope you miss me a little bit. But have fun no matter what. You r a good kitty and gave me a good life.
I thank you from my heart for that. Nighty Night my lovey. Gushagush and nose kiss....
2/6/12 - Another Monday and I am without you. I miss you & long for you. That will never change. I love you so much. You are the special little guy of mommies life. Be happy & play $ feel good & I will send you thoughts, love and goodies at your site. Just let me know what you want andIwill put it there for you. I send you a million nose kisses for every day to warm your nose, and a million gushagushes to make you feel all cuddly and loved. Today i send you catnip to have fun with. Share it with the boys and girls and play your hearts out. I holdyouto my heart tonight while I sleep. Please visit my dreams Inkspot. Mommie loves Inky!!
2/13/12 - Hi honey Happy Valentine's Day...you are my love & I send you a val! Hope you like it. I love you & Imiss you so much. I was thinking about your growl tonite. U really had a good one Ink.Wow! U are the best kitty.The best man.How I miss u.Everything about u. No one takes your place my love & no one ever will. It is almot 16 mos I pray you are having fun. Thank u for all u have given me & thank u for being my own angel for all the years. I hope I made you happy. I know sometimes I could not be here but oh how I wanted to. I used to miss you so much & I knew u got so lonely. I am so forever sorry for that. If I had it to do over, I would be with you always. I carry you in my soul.Gushagush baby Momie Loves Inky.
2/20/12 Hi precious! I was thinking about your cackle today & your nose kisses that you would give me at night. Oh how I miss all of that. You are my special angelkitty & I love you so much. It will never change my Inkker I still cry for you & it will be 16 mos on Sat. I wil miss you all the days of my life. My heart still breaks, just to hold you to me. Be happy angel & know I will see you again & we will never part. I pray for that every day Nighty night lovey Mommie loves you best more than all the rest.Forever.
2/27/12 16 mos ago my baby you went on your trip without me. Oh how lonely I am for you. It never goes away & it never will. I still cry & dream about holding you close to my heart. I hear your cackle & your yakasus at the birds. How you loved our porch & our quiet time together in the morning. I cannot do it without you.You have a part of me that I will never have until I hold you again. Be happy, have fun with Pud & know how much I miss you & how much Mommie loves her Inky. Nose Kiss, gushagush nighty night my sweet love.
3/12/12 - hello my honey!!I miss u & I luv u! I was membering how u used to sleep with me atnight while I read my books. How I hope u r still doing that! I send u hugs & nose kisses. I would so luv to hear your voice...pls come & talk to me if ever u can.You are my special angel & my heart still aches for u every day. It does not stop my lovey. Be happy & know that Mommie Loves Inky more than ever..have a good week baby..XXOO
3/19/12 hello honey! I mis you so much & I love you more than the whole wide world....I hope you miss me a little too. I was thinking about you on the bed with me when I make it & I missed you so much. My love for u goes on & on Ink. It will never change or cease my precious. Momie adores her Inkspot. Nighty nite...nose kissXO
3/26/12 My angel it is 16 mos ago tonite that you left.I pray you are peaceful & having a good
time. I miss you just as much as Ihope you miss me. Be happy & we will hug again soon. I call your name & I tell you I love you Ihope you hear me. I did hve a dream that you were stuck & I saved you. I hope you are OK. Please come to see me in my dreams. I will wait for you...I love you so much my baby, My Inkspot..I kiss your pink nose & tummy. My heart aches for u!
4/9/12 - Happy Easter my angel!! May our sweet Jesus bless & keep you safe this Easter & tell you how much Mommie loves you. I miss you & still want you to walk around the corner to come to bed with me. gushagush, XXOO wait for me Ink..
4/16/12 Hi my baby! I was thinking about you and me & going outside in the sun & wind & how your fur used to blow in the wind..so beautiful & silky!I loved to walk with you while you smelled evrythng. I walk with you everyday in my heart! I miss you & love you so much Ink. Mommie adores Inky!!!! I am calling you from my heart, pls come to see me angel. Be happy & know how special u r! Momie luvs Inky nose kiss & gushagush to ur pink tummyXXOO
wednesday 4/25/12 - hello my angel. So sorry I missed monday I was working. I love you % I miss you. My heart still breaks but at least I know you are healthy & not alone. Love me darlin as I love you. I will see you again & we will be together forever. Until then you are the angel of my life & I love you so much. You give sunshine to my days & mke me so happy. I would just love to hold you one more time. Gush a gush & nose kiss Momie loves Inky!
May 11, 2012 - hello my very precious angel..I am so sorry it has been two weeks..I have a horrible new job & am in CA now..life has been crazy but I still think of U every waking moment & love U every second of my life. U are my angel & I hear you & see you. I had two dreams about you. So wonderful to see U but I want to see U happy..pls come to me when U can. I adore & miss u so much!! Mommie luvs Inky!XXXXX be back soon my lovey keep me in your heart too!!! I LUV U!!! 5/21/12- hello my sweetie! I love you I miss you. You r in my hrt rt now. I remember how you loved Pop Tarts so I sent you some tonite. Enjoy them crumbled up in the palm of my hand. I pray you are happy and having a good life. I cannot wait to see you. I will be there in a short while. Meantime, we are loving you down here & your brothers are doing their best. I wish you knew them & could live with us. My heart yearns to hear your chatter & see your face. I love you more than anything else in the world. I always will. Mommie luvs Inky. Gushagush on your back & kisses to your precious pink nose. Nighty Night angel...come see me in our dreams....OK?6/4/12 - hey there sweetie pie! My gusha gush...I miss u! I think of you every night & every morning. I miss you being with me. I miss us..I always wil Inky..nothing will ever change that. Be happy and love your life & I will see u soon. Kiss puddy, pebbles, and baca for me. XXOO nighty night now. 6/25/12 Luv u my angel. Miss u so much. Today I cried because I just miss u so...I hope somehow you are aware of my heart & my love for you. I hope our dear Lord lets some of that come thru so you can know how much u mean to me. U are the angel of my life & U are always with me, imprinted on my heart forever. thank you for being my baby & for giving me such wonderful love & devotion. I hope & pray that I did good for u. Be hppy my angel & know that I am here waiting to see u again. I love u my gushagush. Mommie adores u..come to me if u can. I send nose kisses & many gushagushes.nighty nite. Hi Honey it is 7/8/12 and I am missing you so much. I just wanted U to know that. I love U my precious Inker and I will send my love light to you on Monday ..just kno how much I love you & carry you in my heart where ever I go!!Hi honey it is 7/16 and I am thinking about you and missing youso much. It still hurts so much. Today it rained and it was rel yucky, you would love looking out the windows at the rain and the lightening. I remember dys in the house withyou and me and the rain. I loved being wthyou my inker. I miss you every day in every way. No one ever replaces you...you are the angel and the loeve of momies life. Please come to see me and have fun where you are. Mommie wants you to be happy and wait for me. I send you hugs, nose kisses and lots of gushagushes to keep you warm. I send all my love on the candlelight tonight!! Love you my baby! be careful and tell everyone I said hi. Nighty nite!!XXOO
7/23 and 8/13/12 - Happy Birthday My Love...You are 19 years old! You are here with me and I am in your heart. I had to travel to NJ to take care of girls & Deb. I missed U so much & thought of U every minute. U slept with me on that couch just like U used to do. Downstairs remember? Oh how I loved U to sleep with me. How I love to look into your eyes & hear U talk at night as U would walk around. I still hear you..No one will ever be my Inky....I cannot wait to hold U forever.I will never ever let you go. I love U Inkspot, I send my nose kisses, gushasgushes and mommie hugs.. Miss me too come to see me..please..Mommie Loves Inky more than anything else in the world!! Night Night XXOO
9/5/12 - hi my sweetie....I love U my baby & I miss U so much. I still see your green eyes looking at me & hear your voice. I dream of your pink tummy and just want to hold U to me..we will never part my angel, U are in my heart every day U always will be. I pray U are happy & with Puddy & Pebbies. I will see U soon & we will all play.Heaven & earth hold U & me forever. we are bonded together. Nvr to part. Be happy my Inkster & know Mommie Loves Inky....4evr!Nighty night baby..xo
9/17/12...my sweet baby Inkster....luv u my honey so much..miss u so much. Be happy & know that Momalways and forever misses u & waits to hear from u. I was membering the first time Iwashed you. You were a tiny kitten & so wet & lost & you just snuggled into my neck & every night of your young life you slept in my neck. You would never leave me. I became your mommie & no one has ever touched me that way. You are in my heart & soul & I wait for you & love you to the moon & back a million times. Nighty NightXXOO
10/1/12 Hello my lovey...it is Oct. & I cannot belive it is almost 2 yrs. since you been gone. I cry for U my angel. I always will. My heart breaks because U r not here with me. No one matters to me but U. I rescue them but they do not count like U do. Please come to see me. I am lost without giving my love to U. Be happy my Inker Know that Mommie loves & adores Inky % misses you so mmuch all the time U r in my heart & soul & I will never leave you. I wait for us to be together agan forever & ever.I send U nose kisses gushagushes and hugs...luv U baby.
10/22/12 - it is the monday of your two years Ink since you left. I can only cry for you and pray you are well and happy. I relive that night every Monday and I always will. Never did I think you weren't coming home with me. Never did I think you were going...My heart loves you so and I carry you there all my life. You are my angel and I miss you always & forever. I love you so much. I cannot believe you are not here...and for two years. You are here and I talk to you. u gushagush, my love, my heart's fondest thought.
10/25/12 - it is two years my precious love & you have been gone. I still miss you & mourn for you. I always will Ink...it never changes. It never will. U are the angel of my life..my love for you surpasses all else. Be happy my Inkspot..know that Mommie loves Inky I send hugs, nose kisses & gushagushes. Wait for me...be with our Baca, Puddie & Pebbie. I miss you so much...
10/29/12 Ink it is me to say I love you & Miss you so much. 2 yrs & 4 days & I yearn to hold you. Today we had a huge storm, they called it Frankenstorm Sandy it hit NJ & the kids house. I hope you up in heaven will ask our Lord to keep sea isle safe & the house,OD & Odonnells safe too. We need all the prayers Ink to keep all the animals & people safe. Thank U Baby. I am so worried, watch over us & guard us. I love you & hope to see you in my dreams...OK? Gushagush and nose kiss.
12/18/12 Hello my angel. I am so sorry I have not written to you...I hve been working so hard at a new job at Macys & I want yu to know how I think og u every day and night my baby. I love you so much & I still miss you so much.I love love love You. Mommie loves Inky. I send gushagushes & nose kisses.
1/7/13 Merry Christmas & Happy New Year my sweet Inkster. How my heart longs to see you. I hope you have many new friends & that this year you will have fun & always remember me in your heart. i am always here looking and thinking about you. Hold me n your heart baby and we will be connected forever no matter what. I will be talking to you evry day. I love you I send gushagushes nose kisses & hugs! Mommie adores Inky.
2/11/13 Another Monday without U my love. Oh Ink how Imiss U. I luv U & I am forever yours. Life is lonely without U baby.No one replaces U.U are still my special angel. I talk to U & I ask God to keep U safe till I get there.I pray to get to U and Puddy. Have fun, u gave me the joy of my life & I thank u for that.
Miss me too OK as I every day miss U. Gushagush & nose kisses XX00
2/25/13- hello my angel tonite it is 2 yrs 4 mos that U left us. Baby I stil cry for U & miss U so much. It will nvr be the same.. I hold U in my heart & luv U forevr. I still wish U could visit me on the porch & meet ur cujo & lestat. They r not U but they keep me cmpany & sometimes I miss U even more. U r the angel of my life Ink. No one will ever come close. Be happy Inker & no that Momie luvs U & misses playing with U. I send U nose kisses & hugs & rubs on ur pink tummy. I hold U in my heart always. Love U so much.
3/15/13 Hi baby..so sorry Ihave not been here.I miss U & love U. Please know Ink I think about U every day of my life & that will nvr change sweetie. U are the special angel of my life. I say my special prayr for U every night now. & ur pic is rt by my bed so I see you watching over me. Be happy my love, Happy St. Patty's Day I sent you a four leaf clover.Play & be happy I send all my luv, nose xxs and gushagushes to ur tummy & back. Pls come to see me....
Mon 3/25/13 - 2 yrs & 5 mos my sweet baby since you left me. I say me because you are mine. I love u forever & i miss u forever. I had the memory of us walking in the back & ur fur blowing in the wind as u looked back at me. How I miss those moments with u. No one can replace those times ever in my life. I was so lucky o have u & I thank u for being my lovey. The angel of my life, the one I adore. I so wish u could come to see me in my dreams....I love u Ink, I send nose kiss & tummy kiss & a real long gushagush. See u soon my sweet little man....
4/22/13 - hello my sweetness...I luv U, I miss U. Inky U r the joy of my life. Please know baby that I think about U every day. Today I looked at ur face & cried just to hold U again & see you talk to me. I hve 2 brothers here who would luv U too but they r not U. I wish U were here with me forever. I will see you baby & when I do I will never let U go ever! Gush a gush my love & nose kiss on that beautiful pink nose. I kiss ur tummie & u all over. Mommie luvs Inky to the moon & back..xo
5/13/13 - Hi baby...I am here thnkng about U & missing U so much. I still cry. I always will. U are my angel & I hold U in my hrt forever. I hope U miss me too, but have fun be happy and know that I wll hold U to me once again and ever let U go. I remember when U used to sit on my lap & I would massage your body U loved it. I am sorry U got so sick frm all the bd medicine, that will nvr happen again. U will never suffer again. I long to see U. U are in my heart Mommie luvs Inky more than anyone else on earth! I send nose kisses, gushagushes and hugs...
5/28/13 - Hello my sweet angel. How I miss U Ink. How I love U. I always will. Thank U for being in my life, please stay here with me & have fun where U are. I will see U in my thoughts & in my heart. The candle glow is my love on its way to your heart to keep U warm & loved forever more. You are always with me.
Mommie luvs Inky soooooooooomuch!!!!
6/17/13 - love U baby...miss U so much.U r always in my hrt & in my thoughts. It never changes Ink..all of us love u. BUt I see U & feel U. Thank U my baby for being in my life & loving me. We will be together again soon. Until then, have a good life. Be happy & know how much U r loved. Mommie luvs Inky...XO - gushagush!
7/8/13 My sweet baby...I miss U so much. I love U Ink, U are the angel of my life. Thank U my baby for being with me & please come to see me now. I would love a sign from U that U love ommie too. Time marches on, but my tears still fall...be with us here and never leave us. U are the king of my heart, U are the one who is in my heart forever...Soon you will be 20 wow...wish we could be together for that. I will talk to U on your birthday. My love be happy I love U soooooo much.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013 - Happy 20th Birthday Inky! I hopeyour friends in heaven have a party for you and I hope you have ice cream and cake. I love the day you were born and came to me. I wish we could live it all over again just you and me!!! Happy Day my baby. Have fun.
August 12 - my angel you turned 20 on July 23 and I cried that night and thought about you. I spoke to you on your birthday and I am sorry I did not write it down here I think I had to work but you were with me all day my love. 20 yrs we could be together. I miss you every day. Your face is the one I see. It all began and goes on with you. Be happy and know that Mommie loves you enough to want you to be comfy & happy. U r the best - Happy Birthday Angel of My Heart...I carry you right here all the time.
10/25/13 - 3 yrs Ink, cant believe it. My angel gone for that long. My hrt aches for u. U r still my kitty in my soul, I never leave U. Luv U forever & wish I could be with U. Waitfor me, come see me & be happy angel Inker. I luv U so much & I miss U more than U could ever know. Play & hv fun. I kiss U nose & hug ur body to me, I kiss U all over my gushagush. Nity nightxo/
es & all my love angel. Mommie luvs U soo much. U are in my soul Ink
& forever U will be there.I cherish our life & hope baby U r happy & miss me too. Be good & I will talk to U in my dreams.Gushagush & Nose Kiss
1/13/14 - Merry Christmas & Happy New Year my angel. I am so sorry it has been so long. Mom was traveling & now I am home. But all along thewayU were in my hrt & in my mind. I love U so much & hope you are happy & having fun. The years pass Ink, my love just grows. Thank U my precious Inkster for making me so happy in my life. I miss u every day & every night. Be happy & lways remmember our Christmases together. U loved the tree...so I just sent U one. I am sending U a big gushagush & nose kisses & my warm body hug. Mommie Luvs Inky so much!
4/21/14 - Oh my angel I am always talking to U & U are always in my heart. I do not get here as often as I want. But I carry you with me every day of my life.I love you &I miss U Ink. My heart wants U back with me. Be happy & enjoy ur new life. I kiss your nose every night. Member poptarts? I just sent you some. I hope U rember us eating them together. I would crunch them up for U and U loved it!! I still cry for U & always look for U my angel my own gushagush...no one is my Inker. Mommie luvs U so much. Be at peace & wait for me. I cannot believe U have been gone for 3 1/2 yrs!! My hrt aches!
8/25/14 My angel, love of my life, it is 3 years & 10 months that U have been gone from me.How I luv U my Ink.Life goes on baby but u r missed every day & u always will be.It is hard to hold & not want it to be U. But God sent me ur brothers & I am taking good cae of them in honor of U my angel.Do not worry I do not love anyone like I love U.U r the best & sit in my hrt forever & when I hold U again I will never let U go.I Luv U, I luv Inky Dink Do, gushagush & nose kisses on ur pink nose.I am holding u in my arms right now.Be happy & please help little rosie who just arrived.Thank U my baby I will be talking to U in my dreams.oct 25 2014.y angel it is 4 yrs tonite And I love u and miss u so much I hope u r happy and u miss me a little I will write more when I get home. My gushagush mommie loves you nose kiss and big hug and tears too.
10-25-15 My angel it is 5 yrs since u left us. I luv u I miss u I hold U in my heart.U r always with me Ink. It will never change.
Today I pray U r happy & having fun.U r the furry kitty love of my life. Mommie loves inky more than anyone else on earth! Come to me my angel come and see me. I send you my love and wish I could just hold U one more time. To hear your voice would be magic. Be with me always and never leave. I love you forever my gushagush. I carry you in my heart.Nose kisses, and gushagushes on your tummie I send to U.XXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOOO I will be back to you soon. Watch over all of us my angel. October 27 2016 hi my baby!!! I love u so much and I miss u so much my love!! I have thought of u every day and hold u I. Myheart forever!!! U r always my no 1 angel no one replaces u my love!! I adore u! Please come to me in a dream so we can be together! Please! Be happy and watch over us my gushagush!! Mommie Loves Inky!!!!😘😘😘
My angel it is 10-25-17 7 yrs since you left. I miss you my sweet Ink you are always in my heart. You now hang in my closet & I look at you every day. You still walk with me. No one will ever replace you my baby. Inky mommie loves Inky!!!! My gushagush.. Be with us in California in our little house in LaQuinta and we are all here together. I adore you and I miss you sooooooo much!!!! Nose kiss to your pink nose...xo