You were my perfect dog, Hobbs. You were supposed to be a show dog, but because you had a wonderful breeder and tested positive as a carrier for a genetic eye condition, I had the incredible luck to get you as a pet. A pet. You were so much more. You were the dog I had waited for all my life, and I was 51 when you came to be my best friend for 9 days short of 13 years.|
You never had a flaw, and I say this as someone who was around dogs from as far back as I can remember. You trotted out after our two older dogs, Trey and Sophie and never had an accident in the house. You never chewed anything that we didn't give you to chew. Nothing ever fazed you...everything was a new, interesting experience. Fire engines roaring by on a walk, you looked at them and back at me. You slept through fireworks and violent storms. Bunches of little children, you wagged your little black tail and kissed them. And you always wanted to be with me. I'll always remember you waiting at the back door, woofing and wagging, wanting inside with me, while the other dogs romped and ran in the back yard.
And I'll never forget the night in 2006. I was going through a difficult divorce and my mother was in hospice with less than a year to live. While my 13 old daughter slept, I laid in bed and the tears streamed down my face. You and Sophie (Trey had gone with Dad) always slept on your beds on the bedroom floors. Never on the beds. But that night, while I silently cried, you jumped on the bed and pressed up against me and never moved all night. You weren't even 2, just a big puppy. Normal dogs don't do that. Trained therapy dogs do that.
But, you did, my Hobbs, my heart. And you slept through the night, at my feet on my bed for the next 11 years. Until this September when you got too restless and feeble. And then I slept on the sofa with you next to me on the floor until the day you passed.
I love you and will miss you every day. I know you'll be waiting for me.
It was 13 years ago today we brought you home, Hobbs. You were just 3 months old. You were so cute and comical, and so good. I remember Greta holding you on her lap while she sat at the computer and did her homework. I didn't know then you would become my heart and soul and best friend for thirteen years.
It was a week Tuesday when I last saw you and held you. I miss you, buddy. I got one of my favorite photos of you on canvas and put it on the glass top table with a little bouquet of flowers. I got the flowers for you, sweet boy, white stocks and carnations that smell like cloves and honey, because fragrant flowers always make me feel better and remind me of being in the garden with you. I lit a candle too, and told you to look for the flame sending up my love. I felt you saw it.
Please don't miss me too much. I try to remember there is no pain or sadness where you are. I hope you are running with Trey and Sophie, and doing your Springer bounce and happy woof again, and snuggling with your Mom Brice and Grandma Jade and all the other Springers. And my precious Gus, my Golden, who was my love before I ever knew you.
Take care, Hobbs. Love you forever. Mom
Merry Christmas, Hobbs, my angel. I've thought of you a lot lately. We've spent every Christmas together since 2004, until this year, so it's been very difficult to think of a Christmas without you. I kept thinking that you had never spent a Christmas without me, and I was afraid you'd be sad and miss me, and Greta too. That was the hardest part.
But three days ago, I woke up quite early because I swear, I heard you woofing. I guess I was dreaming, but for a few seconds I could see you standing by the bed, wagging and doing your little woof and Spaniel dance, like you used to do years ago, when you could still hop off the bed without help. You only did it mornings when I slept late and you had to go out before I woke up. You were so cute when you did it I never minded, it always made me smile.
At first I was crying, but then I thought how bad I had been feeling about you spending Christmas without me for the first time in your life and hoping you wouldn't be too sad. Then I thought, an angel either sent you to me in a dream or down for a few seconds, to let me know you're okay. You were young and happy, like you hadn't been for a long time, with that mischievous woof and your tail wagging. I still cried, but I knew then you were telling me you were okay.
So, thank you for visiting me, sweet boy, and letting me know you're okay and happy. We had a good Christmas, and felt like you were with us. I had pictures framed of you and Greta and the grandbabies,for gifts. Athena was so excited, Hobbs. She's going to put it in her room, so you're still there with her, she said. I'm so glad they knew and loved you, Hobbs. I don't have to say how much you loved them, do I?
So Merry Christmas, Hobbs, my precious. I know we'll always be together in spirit until I see you again at the Bridge.
Love you, Mom
January 28, 2018
It's been two months today since you went to wait for me at the Bridge, my precious boy. It seems like a lot longer. And it seemed so odd, to start a new year without you, Hobbs. I had the flu right after New Year's, and I thought about you a lot, and the all the times you'd laid on the bed and kept me company when I was sick. I missed you so much. But it's been a cold winter, with ice and snow, and I know how hard it would have been for you to get around. You struggled so the last few winters with your weak leg, and I'm glad you don't have to deal with that anymore. I can imagine you running and playing in the snow, like you used to.
I still have your water bowl out, Hobbs. Remember how Lily always liked to drink out of it? She looks so funny, her little cat face above the deep bucket (deep to keep your Spaniel ears out of the water!) You had it since we got you. I left it right where it was and think of you every time I see her drinking out of it. You know I'll always be a "dog person", but Lily has been good company this winter. She started sleeping on the bed right where you used to lay, about a week after you'd gone. I thought you'd like that.
Happy New Year, Hobbs, my angel. You're always with me. Love you forever.
February 28, 2018
Hi, my precious boy. Three months since you've been gone from my side, Hobbs. It seems like longer. It's like a part of me is gone. But I don't want you to think I'm sad all the time, sweetheart. I know you would hate that. You were the happiest, easiest going dog I ever had. You wanted everybody to be happy, and I think you made everyone you met smile. You had that gift.
I can look at your picture now and say hello and good night not cry when I think of you. I can think of the happy times and how much we loved each other. I'll always miss you, you were my best friend for nearly 13 years. But I know you're well and able to run and play, and do all the things you couldn't do here on earth any longer. And I know you'll be waiting for me and I will see you again at the Bridge someday. Watch for the candle I light on the 28th of every month tonight.
Love you forever, Mom
March 28, 2018
I've been thinking of you all day, Hobbs. Four months since you went to wait at the Bridge for me. I miss you terribly, but I look at your photos and I can feel you still here with me. It's almost spring now, you always loved Spring, you ran and ran, those long Spaniel ears flapping in the wind. My first spring without you in so long. I seem to mark holdiays and seasons thinking of you and all the years I shared them with you, don't I? But it was a great comfort to think of you happy and bouncing and running again with Trey and all the others this winter; I know the past few winters were hard on you and I was glad to think you were free from those struggles.
Your candle has been burning while I write this, sweet boy. I know you see it sending my love up to you.
Love you, Mom
August 31, 2018
Happy Birthday, Hobbs, my darling boy. You were born 14 years ago today. I haven't written in here in quite awhile, but not a day goes by I don't think of you, and I know you know it.
I put your picture on the sideboard by the front door, and I see it every day, many times, and each time I think of how much I loved you and still do. And how much you loved me. I miss you, it's hard to think of not being with you on your birthday for the first time in your life, but I know you are in a better place. No limping or falling, and looking so puzzled but so patient last year this time, while I helped you do things you could always do before with a woof and a bounce. Sometimes I think I miss your pure goodness most of all. You were the easiest dog to help I ever had.
I'm glad we had the whole family over for your birthday last year, sweetheart. I had a feeling it might be our last one together, I wish I'd been wrong. But I can almost see you wagging your little black tail and the love in your eyes, telling me you're alright and we will be together again someday at the Bridge.
Lily has been a good friend since you've been gone. Kiss Trey and Lacey and Sophie and tell them I love them. And my Gus and Holly who were at the Bridge years before I knew you.
We're apart for while, but you're with me every day. And I know I'm in your heart too.
Love you, Mom