My life was just ordinary day to day work and social events. Until November 2004, when I brought home my new puppy, Grayson, who would become the single most important thing in my life for the next 8 1/2 years. His loving looks and endless kisses filled my life and my home, together with his loyal companionship that I have never known before. The bond between a dog and his owner is like nothing in this world. It is guaranteed forever and beyond.|
I now had someone to come home to, that was so happy to see me and smothered me with licks and kisses, then waited patiently for me to feed him. He made some mistakes when he was little but I did not mind to clean up after him as he gave me so much joy in return. He was mischevious at times, especially one day when I came home to his entire room filled with torn up training pads and he had white cotton stuck on his nose, so I could not even be mad once I saw his face. I did not even get mad when Grayson failed his 12 weeks private lessons in obedience school. I was an A student and could not understand why my little boy failed. It definetly was the teacher! I would be missing my lip balms always,then one day I looked in his crate and he had a stash under his blanket of chewed balms, he liked the Burt's Bees honey the best. He loved his blankies and soft toys when he was young. Still till the end he would run on his blankie or bury his head in my clean laundry when I put it on the bed to fold. He thought I could not see him hiding his head. At night he could not wait to jump on my blanket when he saw me getting it out. He loved to cuddle and lay so close to me to make sure I would not go anywhere.
One night he saved my life! I was having an allergic reaction to a new medication, and my throat had closed up and he barked and pushed my face and I awoke to no airway in my throat, so I jumped up to get my Epi Pen and if my Grayson had not alerted me, I might not have ever awoken. He also sat with me or lay next to me endless times when I was sick and he knew to just stay with me and not bark or make any noise. Now I am very ill and need him so much to be by my side.Why now is he gone.He loved to sit with me when I watched TV and when I read the paper, he would sit there and take both his little paws and hold one of my hands in a vice grip, so that I could not turn the page, he wanted all my attention, all the time. But to feel those little paws wrapped around my wrist was priceless.
Then one day in October 2011, he broke three bones in his foot, just from me placing him down on the rug and he was not ready to be put down, becasue he had his one foot still turned under and his feet were not out straight and he snapped three bones in a second. I can still hear the sound of his pain, I was lucky to have his God mother, Kathy, already on her way over to help me groom him, but when she arrived she saw the pain and distress he was in and she drove us to the emergency hospital. He was in cast for over 4 months, getting new Xrays and new cast every 3 weeks.I slept on the floor with him during those coldest winter months, and I carried him all over as he had trouble walking with the cast. But I would do it all over again today if only he was here. I would do anything for him, I would walk through fire for you Grayson.
The unconditional love and loyalty a Yorkie gives, is unlike any other love you may ever have in your lifetime. I wanted a small lap dog, Grayson was truly that and more like a velcro dog, never leaving my side for a minute. If he could not see me behind a closed door he became upset and did bark. No one will love me like this again. It is only 8 weeks now since you took your last quiet little breath in my arms, so peaceful without warning, you were not sick, but I feel like it is a lifetime. You just stopped eating and drinking one day and then left me too soon. I fed you water with a syringe and baby food, you tried to take it like a good boy for me.That Sunday morning January 6th was the worst day of my life and when you put your little tongue out to lick me,I saw how weak you were and could not hold your head up. So I wrapped you in your favorite blankie and then just went to the couch and held you tight and you looked at me with those jet black amazing eyes and I told you,it was okay to rest now, mommy will be okay. Your little paw moved once and I held it,you moved your tongue to try to kiss me but you were too weak, so I leaned over and gave you a kiss goodbye. And then you just took a small quiet breath and you were gone. I held you for awhile before moving, not believing that was your last breath. You never cried, no whimper no sign of you be so ill, you was a brave little boy for me and you waited until I awoke, so that you could be held by me and know you was loved so much and for me to have the solace of knowing you did not suffer and I had the honor of being there for You as you had been here for me the past years. I am Blessed from God with having had this undying love from Grayson, my love of my life; and I am grateful to have given my love to such an incredible pet who was so much more. The most special thing I will always remember about you is your compassion for me. You would lie down right next to me and cuddle up to me and look up at me with those big black eyes of yours telling me how much you loved me, kiss me and tell me things would be alright, with what ever was bothering me at the time. Amazing devotion that no one can give you. I am still devastated and now in a denial stage, I pretend this is not true, that is how I am getting by each day. I am forever heart broken. I lost my beloved companion, and my best friend. How can this have happened in his short life I keep asking myself. My home is so empty and cold, and the silence is deafening. I wish I could stop crying and sleep at night, but I cannot. My dear sweetheart, I would do anything in my power to bring you back to me, but God had his plans for you. My promise to you is that I will visit your Rainbow Residency each week to talk to you and remember the times we had together. Just to be with you always.
Part of me has died with you... It's a loss no words can describe, loss that no tears can express, loss that my heart cannot bear.