Eight AM Sunday morning on April 3, 2016, I got a call from the 24 Hour Emergency Pet Hospital. My Gabriel, who had been getting abscess after abscess, was not getting any better from the last one. They even performed major surgery and removed necrotic tissue that had formed due to the last infection he developed. Instead, he got worse. The infection moved down through his left, hind leg. They told me they could do a CT scan to see if the infection had moved elsewhere too. But regardless, his leg would have had to be amputated. If the infection moved that fast down into his leg, chances are it moved elsewhere in his little body. Therefore, we (my husband and I) made the decision to help him rid his little self of the pain. At 9:37 AM, Gabriel found peace. He was still fighting to the end, but he wasn't himself and you could see his pain. I will miss him and love him always.|
Gabriel, you were my guard cat. You always had to be by me, no one else. You weren't like your sister Freya and your brother Archie who would split their time between your dad and me. When your brother Sylvester passed away, you were right there next to me and you wouldn't leave my side for anything; you were protecting me. I will miss this SO much.
You would growl at strangers outside the windows; you really did not like the pest control people. You would puff your body up to be as big as you could be. I guess were protecting me. I will miss this, too.
When I came home from work, you were always there to greet me at the back door. If I wasn't carrying much, you'd even jump up me and put one paw on each shoulder and then nip my nose or chin. You'd wake me up by your little kisses of nipping my nose if I didn't get up with the alarm. I've never had a baby who'd kiss me like you did. They were or are lickers. I will miss your welcomes home and your special kisses.
You used to love sleeping right next to me on my right side. You'd be there almost always. I loved snuggling up to you. I will miss this.
You used to put your paw to my face if I was kissing you too much. I got a lot of paws to the face. I will SO miss this.
If I wasn't paying attention to you because I was reading, working, or on my computer, you would literally take my glasses off my face and run off with them. You would even start chewing on them sometimes just to get my attention. I will miss this funny little quirk of yours.
When these abscesses started coming, you tried so hard to be your old self. It was hard because we had to keep getting them drained or removed. But daddy and I kept doing it because you were trying to BE yourself. You were a fighter. You didn't want to let us down. You wanted to be YOU! I tended to your wounds and you let me. I gave you your medicines and you let me. You didn't complain or fight me. You knew I was trying to help you. I will miss your spunk and tolerance.
On Saturday, April 2, I visited you in the hospital. You just purred in my arms, let me hold you, and had just started to fall asleep when the nurse came to get you to put you back on your IV. I am so glad I had that last time with you. It will always be so precious to me. But when I got the call that the last abscess and all the information the doctor gave me, I just couldn't put you through the pain I knew you were feeling. Daddy actually grabbed my hand because he knew I was getting some terrible news. We decided we couldn't have you go through anymore just to make us happy when there probably was going to be more problems in the future. It was SO hard for me to let you go, but I had to do it for YOU! You were always there for me; I needed to be there for you. I needed to think of you. I will always think of you. I will always love you, I will always miss you, and I will always remember you. Forever and always in my heart, my sweet, sweet Gabriel.
You are now pain free and free to run and play with your brother Sylvester and your sister Maxine. Go find them and live again. I will see you someday again my precious angel Gabriel.
4-12-16 Gabriel, I am so sorry I haven't written sooner, but mommy couldn't stand the pain. Losing you so suddenly and so young just didn't seem fair to you. I have also been having so much trouble sleeping without you nuzzling up to me like you used to. I did place your urn next to the spot where you used to always sleep by me though. I put my glasses on it. You used to always steal my glasses, so I figured it was a fitting place to put you: right by mommy so you can still sleep by me at night and yet you will still have my glasses. All of my glasses have teeth marks on them. I had to check. Yup, you took every pair at least once and chewed on them if I didn't pay attention to you. I wish now that I paid attention to you all the time.
Your sister, Freya, is missing you something fierce. She is always by me now like you were. She is also lying in your old spots. She is also by me constantly. I can tell that she is missing you. She is moping around and not behaving like herself. I am trying so hard to cuddle her and make her feel better, but it's hard to do so when I am feeling miserable myself. I don't know if I am hiding it too well from her. She's right here right now in your old spot.
I miss you so much Gabriel. I will always love you, my sweet angel.
4-18-19 Hi there, Gabriel. I still think of you so much. It's been really nice out and I have been opening the doors and windows more. Every time I do, I expect you to come running to the door like you used to. You just did so not even four weeks ago. Time goes by so fast.
Archie has been sleeping right next to me like you used to and Freya has been on the other side as normal. I think Archie's missing you because he's hanging out in your old spots, not just sleeping where you used to. It still seems so unreal. This infection should not have done this to you. I am so sorry. I love you so much! It is still killing me. Please take care and be happy.
5-3-16 Well, Gabriel, it's been exactly a month since you went away. I could not sleep last night and I was crying a lot knowing this. I still cry everyday for you. It doesn't seem fair. Your illness should have gone away. I just don't understand why it wouldn't. It was an infection. The infection just wouldn't go away though. I am so sorry. I tried everything and anything to help you. I cannot even begin to think about how much daddy let me spend to help you. He's a great guy and misses you too. He was just trying to talk me into calmness so I'd stop crying...again.
I've been coming home from work and Archie has now been meeting me at the door. It used to be you. Archie is also sitting by me all the time like you used to. He and Freya know that I miss you. Freya heard me crying while daddy was trying to talk to me and she came running in meowing like she was crying or worrying for me. She jumped into my lap and started licking me as she always does. I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!! A part of me has died with you.
I was thinking about how you used to jump up onto my chair next to my jewelry box and then stand right in front of my face as I was taking my jewelry off when I came home from work. I miss that. Everyday since you've gone I think about how you would do that. You would do this every single time I would come home from work. You will always be my special baby. You were definitely one of a kind. No one cat can ever replace you. I love you Sweetie. I hope you are happy again.
5-29-16 Hi my Sweetie. I was thinking of you today and every single day since you passed. I woke up this morning and Freya and Archie were both in spots you used to lay all the time. I still miss you SO much that it seems like I am crazy. I haven't even gotten a new kitty like I had when your brother Sylvester passed. But he was old and had cancer. He lived a long time even with it. You didn't and it didn't and still doesn't seem fair. I can't wrap my mind around what went wrong and why. We did everything we could and the infection still got you. WHY? I am sorry. I hope you are happy again. Please keep Sylvester company. I will always miss you and your brothers and sisters that have passed before you.
8-17-16 I missed your birthday on the 15th. I am so sorry. I really thought I had a few days left. I lose track of time when I am off. I can't believe you're still gone. I accidentally called Archie you just a couple of days ago. I also hate waking up in the middle of the night; it's the worst because you would be there. Now no one is. The other two are nearby, but not right next to me snuggled into my shoulder. Sylvester used to do that too. Freya still does, but only for a bit. She leaves after a while; you'd stay. I so MISS you! You shouldn't have died. I am SO sorry. I should have done more earlier. I will ALWAYS love you. I think of you and your brothers and sisters EVERY day. Remember though, that you are not alone EVER. You've got my grandmother who loved you too and your Sylvester that you would hang out with. I am always here too. I sometimes feel you are too along with your siblings. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU! Mommy
10-16-16 It hasn't been a good year Gabriel. Stephanie my daughter and your human sister found out she has cancer this week. With you passing away because of the conflict between two different illnesses that if you would have only had one or the other, you'd still be here; my own health issues, which limit my movement so much more now that you're gone; and all the changes within my work and personal life; and now my own daughter getting cancer, I am so at a loss as to what to do. I've been crying a lot. This is going down in my personal history as the year I cried the most (at least between this year and 2014 when I I lost both my grandmother and Sylvester, your brother).
4-2-17 Tomorrow it will have been a year since you have passed and I still cry over you. There is not one day that goes by that I don't think of you and your siblings, but you and Sylvester especially. You were ALWAYS by me. You ALWAYS protected me. You ALWAYS loved me. You met me at the door. You climbed up me. You gently nipped my nose to kiss me. You had to sleep right in the crook of my right arm. You always bumped me if I was busy to get my attention and affection. If I didn't give it, you would steal the glasses right off my face and sometimes run off with them. I'd find you chewing on them. Sometimes you'd just take them and chew on them right in front of me. You definitely would get my attention. Freya still is not the same without you or Sylvester, but she is still always close by me. I SO MISS YOU still.
Please also visit Sylvester.