March 28, 2006|
The saddest day in our lives. It was too painful losing you. T'was not fair because you were only 4 years old. You loved life and enjoyed it 'til the very end. The huge void you left in our hearts will forever be here. Your favorite rug and couch will forever be empty. Our house will never be the same. It seems like only yesterday when we first took you home, you were only 8 weeks old. It didn't take long to train and teach you for you were far too smart. I will miss making your favorite chicken and eggs meals. I am not ready to sleep back on my bed. You loved snuggling with Daddy and I at night, and now you're gone, forever. Getting in the car is just as hard, for you were always there and enjoyed bye-byes. It's too painful driving by your favorite store or see your Trainer, Debbie and Groomer, Linda. I have not remove your shampoo and conditioner from my shower yet, your medicines still in the fridge. It will be there for a while. Your dish, mug and bowl,toys and cute wardrobes, your treats remain in the same place where you left them. I hug and sleep with your blankie at night sniffing your scent. Daddy can't bear to see the yard or even go near the patio door since we said good bye to you that Tuesday afternoon. Your kisses are terribly missed, Baby Girl. What I missed most is when you just sit and wait in the kitchen floor, sitting next to my feet, patiently waiting, because you knew Momma was making chicken for dinner. Our meals will never ever be the same. At meal times, you sat next to Ate just waiting for your food. Your favorite yogurt treats are still here. Mr. Fredie and Mr. Crabby and Mr. Froggy lost their friend and playmate in you. I have nobody to play fetch with anymore. Baby Girl, we terribly miss you and wish that this, was just a bad dream. Someone has to give me a hard kick and tell me real loud that indeed, you are no longer here with us. We find comfort, knowing that you went home and returned to God, and you're in heaven. Someday - Momma, Daddy and Ate will be reunited with you again, so we could touch and kiss and play all over again, forever. But until then, you will remain hugged in our hearts. No more pain and suffering, no more chemo and no more Doctors. How you endured not one, but two cancers in your small body is far too painful for us to watch. We prayed and hope for Miracles when we took you to the best Hospital and Oncologist. But Baby Girl your body told us that you were tired, to just let you go. Daddy was in denial until the very end, hoping that you were still going to get better. Your doctor honestly told us there was no cure for Leukemia, but she tried hard to kill the Lymphoma. You fought hard 'til the very end. Yes, you were a fighter! Even though your 5th birthday was 4 months away, we just had to celebrate it with your favorite cake before starting with chemo last February 26th.
The night before you past away, you enjoyed your final chicken dinner and ate as if you knew that there was no tomorrow. In the morning, you cleaned your plate of your favorite soft boiled egg, and finished that final slice of your "Good Bye" cake. Thank you Baby for giving us a great final weekend. That Tuesday morning, I heard your paw steps coming towards me in my bedroom as I got ready to take you to your Vet for the last time. The rythmic sound of your paw steps, which I haven't heard in a long time, were music in my ears. You were walking around the house with a happy face, and your tail up. When you left the house for the last time, you walked yourself out into the yard, then to front door, while the cool breeze was blowing your beautiful coat, your pretty eyes squinting. What a sight I will cherish forever, and now a memory.
The hardest one for us to see was Ate saying good-bye to you in tears. She couldn't bear to come with us and see you go to your Doctor for the last time. You dried her damped face with your kisses, as if you're saying, "Don't cry, Ate. I'm a big Girl, and I'll be fine". Then, you were so excited waiting for me to open the car door, because you just knew you were going bye-bye. If only you knew my heart was heavy and tears cascaded down my cheeks as I let you in, for the last time. You entered your doctor's office that Tuesday morning as if nothing was wrong, but deep down inside Daddy and I felt your discomfort and pain which you tried so hard to hide from us. You wanted us to see your smiling face. We are forever thankful for the many great memories, the pictures and your videos for us to cherish for a long long time.
Baby Girl, when you came into our lives, I dreamed of having you around until Daddy and I were retired. We were told that you were going to be with us for at least 15 years - they lied. Life is never fair. Your illness gave us no warning, we're caught off-guard and this really hit us hard. I will miss brushing and braiding your beautiful hair in the morning. Yes, you gave us a hard time brushing your tiny crooked teeth, but who cares? You are forever our most beautiful little girl. This summer will be very difficult not having you around, lying next to me in the swing just enjoying the summer breeze, while you patiently waited for that chicken in the grill. Last Fall, we had a great time picking apples, peaches and nectarines in the yard. Oh Baby I can't stop crying in the car, at home - every which corner I turned I saw you. Ate is not taking your passing very well either. She is right now very angry with God for giving you those cancers. She is angry with your breeder. I questioned God too, Why? Ate misses your tiny paw steps around the house. The many fond nicknames she gave you - Duchy Buchy, Goober Booby, Moo, Snort, Bubu, Tootsie. Oh! too many, but you knew them all. Ate has been quiet and keeps pretty much to herself. I just need to allow her grieve in her own way - she is only 17, and you were her first pet. She has not returned to school and still recovering from her own major surgery. She sleeps with your picture next to her. The first night, she slept with your Urn beside her. I will miss your company when I drop Ate off to school when she's fully recovered from her surgery. I will miss your company when I pick her up after school. When you and Daddy dropped me off at the train station to get to work,you stared and stared until you couldn't see me anymore. When you and Daddy picked me up later, you looked and looked at every passenger getting off, until you spot me even from a far distance. Then your long bushy tail wagging 50 miles, your paws scratching tirelessly at the car's window. You were just too happy and excited to see the three of us home after a long day wait. You'd shower us with million kisses. Your kisses were the best stress busters anyone could ask for. The long wait was all worth it. All the holidays and the neighborhood block parties will never be the same without you. The little kids in the block will miss playing with you. Abby's Mom requested that I don't tell her kids of your passing. They will just have to find out on their own, and probably wonder why they don't see you playing in the yard anymore. Guphreet, your little Indian friend will be ringing our door bell anytime now, to ask me if he could play with you. How do I tell them kids that you are in heaven? Baby Girl, you maybe gone but you'll forever be in our hearts. Night, Night! Momma, Daddy and Ate loves you very much. You are our Angel, and please watch over us always. We'll looked up at the sky at night and know that the first shooting star we see is you. We will all be together again, promise. We'll have a big party at the Bridge. LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY.
April 4, 2006
To Our Baby Girl, Duchess:
A week ago today, Momma,Daddy and Ate made the most difficult decision to say good bye to you. WE believed in our hearts that you are happy where you are. There is no doubt, we just know that you already made plenty of friends at the Bridge. You never had problems making friends while you were with us - sociable little creature you! I could still feel your warm coat in my arms. Tears still flow. Yesterday was also my first day back to work since you were gone. The wound left by your departure is still fresh. It was hard to concentrate at work today, staring at your photos on my desk. In the morning, I felt your warm tummy while I was putting on my socks and shoes as I was so used to your rolling on them before I left for work. As I put my coat on, you'd jumped up so high, and followed me around the house as if to say, "Momma can I come?". Coming home to a quiet house without you is not easy. Yeah, Daddy hears me call your name when I walked in the house from work. It was automatic as if you were around. I want to let you know we had plenty of nice people, some we don't even know, and sent us sympathy cards and condolences after viewing your memorial. It sure helped a lot. We also mailed your memorial cards to many friends and family. Our fireplace now holds your memorial. A candle burns next to your urn and photos. We started joining the candle light ceremony last night but we were late. We will do it every Monday night for you. While driving in the car today, I felt silly talking to you as if you were there with me. It made me feel a little better. While at work today and in the car, I listened to our favorite song, "Beautiful Girl". We miss you too much Baby Girl. Kisses and Hugs. Love you always! Momma
April 11, 2006
Baby Girl, it's been two weeks since you passed away. I still cry everyday. I felt a little better today after talking to your Doctor and nurse at the Specialty Center. Although I know, I did everything possible to save your life, I still feel as if I had not done enough. This weekend, Daddy and I will plant a weeping cherry tree in the front lawn in your memory. A statue of St. Francis, a stone engraved with your name and paws on it will be placed there. I will plant some perinneals and that will be your little garden. Just thinking about the happy days makes me feel good. Baby I miss you terribly. I will see you in my dreams tonight.Night, night!
Love you forever! Momma
April 18, 2006
To My Dear Baby Girl:
It's been 3 weeks since you left us. I will not wonder how you're doing at the Bridge. I just know that you've made lots and lots of friends, as always, and very happy and healthy (no more boo-boo and ouchie). I also know that you could still see the pain and sorrow around our house. You're probably saying, "Momma don't cry anymore, I'm OK up here". This weekend, I cried so hard while talking to your insurance company to cancel your health policy. I could tell that the girl on the phone was also crying as I related how I lost you at such a tender age. Later in the afternoon, I stopped by the pet shop where we first met. I stood still at the cage where I first saw you. I reflected on that day - I first saw your pretty round eyes, you captured my heart, Baby Girl. Your tiny tail wagged, your little pink tounge almost drooled as you whispered in my ear, "can you take me home?". I could not take you home that day, because a lady had put a hold on you. However, I did not give up, and returned the following day because that lady did not show up nor called that she wasn't coming back for you. The shop owner simply said, you're mine. I will never ever forget this day. You were loved, pampered and spoiled so much, in exchanged for the unconditional love you've given us. Baby Girl, little did we know, that you were to stay to stay with us for just 4 short years. We enjoyed every bit of it. I wish I could turn back the clock. Your arrival changed our lives forever - our home filled with love, joy and laughter. This evening, Ate thought she heard you slurping as if you were drinking fresh water from the sink. Daddy spoiled you so much, picked you up to drink water from the "fountain" sink. We all did it. I also have your pictures lined up, and planned on scrap booking but find it hard to get started. By the way, Ate wrote a real nice poem about you. Duchy Girl, you are terribly missed. Daddy and Ate miss your licks and kisses.I just miss feeling you on my lap and giving you that well awaited belly and ear rubs. I miss kissing that warm tummy of yours. The candle is still burning at the fireplace mantle with your memorial. Kiss Momma good night, Girl. I love you so much, tears are still coming down. I miss you Baby Girl... Momma
April 25, 2006
My Sweet Baby Girl, Duchess:
It has been 4 long weeks since you departed. I was viewing your last photos. It wasn't easy looking at them without tears streaming from my eyes. The candle next to your Urn continues to burn just to keep your spirit around the house alive. Ate is not doing very well for the past few days. If only you were here, you would sooth her pains and kept her company in bed as always. I miss you so much baby Girl. You are with God's Angels so I'm comforted. I love you so much. And days are going by so fast, we can't believed that it's been 4 weeks since you passed on. I pretend that you're just in the hospital, and still coming home. Oh I miss you so much Baby. Everyday's a challenge to fight the pain and sorrow. Night, night. Love you! Momma
May 9, 2006
To My Sweet Little Girl:
Today is exactly 40 days since you went to heaven. I see your face in the clouds, smell you in the spring flowers in the yard. If only you could see the memorial tree and flowers Daddy and I planted. They're beautiful. Today, for the first time after her surgery, I drove Ate to school. This was most painful just thinking you were not with me in the car. But like a goof, I talked to you as I always did and let you sit on my lap. Baby I miss you so bad. Please watch over us until we see you again.
Love you! Momma
May 28, 2006
My Dear Little One:
These past weeks you made your presence known so strong. Over a week ago, I saw your image in the clouds playing with Tasha. This week, I beg you to show me your face while driving in the car. I saw your pretty eyes, your tongue just sticking out and you were smiling. This afternoon, I couldn't find you up there. The sky was gray, but the sun came out later. You'll never believed what I saw. I screamed when I saw the the rainbow. Indeed, you reassured me that you're happy up there. We miss you Baby Girl more than ever. Its been 8 weeks since you've been gone. Baby Girl, not a day has passed without thinking you. We missed ssooooo much!
Love you, Momma
June 6, 2006
To My Dear little One;
Hard to believe, but it has been 11 weeks since we said good bye to you. It still hurts - I've seen you up in the clouds near the rainbow, and seen you in my dreams. I miss you more and more each day. Baby Girl, we know you're happy at the Bridge and made lots of friends. Watch over us always. Miss your kisses and your soft hair, your pretty eyes and everything about you. Love you forever...Momma
June 28, 2006
My Dearest Angel:
It has been 14 weeks since you entered the Bridge. Coping with loneliness has gotten a little easier. Tears still flow whenever I think of you and talk about you. Baby Girl, when you were very ill, I made a bargain with God - that is: to heal your illness and give you a second chance. Then I made a promise that if you'd get better, we'd get you a playmate. Well, God has other plans and knew what was best for both all of us. Although he took you Home, we decided to get you not one but two playmates. I've listened and saw all the signs you gave me - to move on and share the love that I have so much to give. There were just too many coincidences - A 5 month old Shih Tzu is joining our family on your birthday, July 2nd. Her coming was not planned at all. What we had planned and anticipated was the delivery of two babies in September. The same month when we welcomed you. This little one was offered to us by the same breeder, and we all fell in love with her. In fact we're still trying to think of a name for her. Baby, you were all alone then, and realized how lonely you must be when we were not home. When God took you home, our lives and home were filled with emptiness. Please help us welcome the arrival of your siblings. Remember, YOU are and will ALWAYS be number 1. We miss you so much. Please show your face to Momma soon. I want to see you in my dreams tonight. NIGHT, NIGHT, BABY! Love you forever..MOMMA
July 20, 2006
To My Dear Little One,
Thank you so much for visiting me in my dreams few nights ago. It seemed so real. 5 month old Belle joined us last July 2nd, your 5th birthday. We celebrated your birthday again. Your number 5 balloon, the same balloon you had when we celebrated you're 5th before you went to the bridge, was the same balloon Belle had for her welcome home and 5 month old party. She is the same breed, but this time we went directly to a breeder in Indiana. She plays with your toys and use your bowl and dish. She reminds me so much of you when we first met. We will forever cherish your memory. It's not the same Baby. Know that we will always love you, and still miss you like crazy. Night, night. Momma
August 1, 2006
To My Sweet Angel,Duchess
I cannot believe it - but it's been 5 months since you entered the Bridge. I just want you to know that you're still terribly missed. I see plenty of you in Lady Belle. Melody was born yesterday. We're taking her home early October. Baby, how I wish you're here to play with them. I know you're happy and healthy where you are and watching over us. Know that you're my number 1 and most Special. I miss you and love you, and you know that. See you in my dreams tonight, Momma
September 25, 2006
My Dear Baby Girl:
It has been 6 months since you left us. It feels like that was just yesterday. I miss you more than ever. I trust that you are happy and watching over us always. Lady Belle is having a great time playing with your toys. Melody who is Belle's half sister is joining us in two weeks. Know that you are always and always Momma's number One and Only. Baby Girl I miss you so much.Your urn is kissed everyday! Love, Momma.
November 24, 2006
To My Dear Little Girl, Duchess
I cried in church yesterday during Mass. It was Thanksgiving Day, and I was hurting so bad. We had no warning that last years Thanksgiving would be your last. In 2004 we sneaked you in at a Resort so we could all be together for Thanskgiving. That was a great one. Miss you Baby. Momma
February 23, 2007
My Dear Little Angel,
One year ago today, you were diagnosed with cancer. I reflect on this day with grief and sorrow. I wish I could turn back the clock when I first took you home. Baby Girl, the pain of losing you will forever remain in our hearts. By the way, last Christmas was awfully sad too, not knowing last year's would be your last. I'm sure you saw your photos up on the tree. Love you. Momma
March 3, 2007
Dear Little One,
This is too painful. The emotion is killing me inside. This time last year, we prayed so hard to God for miracles. But only He knew what was best for you, and took you back Home. I miss you so much, please let me see you in my dreams tonite and tell me you're okay. My keyboard is wet with tears as I talk to you at this moment. Love you, Momma
March 28, 2007
My Sweet Baby,
A year ago today God's angels came down to take you Home to ease your pain and suffering. Baby Girl, I have not fully recovered, tears still flow. I am still grieving and I don't know for how long. Miss you way too much! Momma
Duchess, My Forever Baby!
Here is Momma reflecting on the events two years ago. Can't believed this. Looking at your photos, I can't help but shed tears. Felt like it happened yesterday. Baby, I'll hug and kiss you in my dreams tonight. I miss you sooooo much!
Love you forever, Momma
March 28, 2008
I lit a candle today. I miss so much!
Love You, Momma
March 28, 2009
My Dearest Angel,
Three years has gone by crazy quick. I felt your presence just now as I cried and yelled your name. Baby Girl, I can't believed that 3 years has passed. I hugged Belle and Melody as I cried and called your name. They've made things a bit easier for me. I know you see me everyday when I kiss your urn before leaving for work. I feel your presence when I'm on the road. My Angel, please come visit me in my dreams soon, it's been a while. I miss you so much! Momma
July 2, 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY SWEET ANGEL! You would have turned 8 today. I lit a candle this morning and just stared at your urn while I talked to you silently in my heart. Baby Girl, Momma miss you as if you left me only yesterday. I'm sure that you're having an awesome with your friends at the Bridge.Loving you forever. Momma
March 28, 2010
My Baby and Angel, it's been 4 yrs since you've been gone. Yesterday, I just happen to drive by Ate's high school. That feeling of depression hit me out of the blue. Tears rolled down my cheeks and the thought of you struck me. I looked at the spot where you and I waited for her in the car. She will graduate college next year, and you - gone 4 yrs. Then I realized that your anniversary was just around the corner. I miss you so much, come visit me in my dreams my Baby Girl! Momma
July 2, 2011
Talking to your face in that photo by your urn like a crazy woman! Oh baby, I miss you as if you left me just yesterday ;( This would've been your 10th birthday! I see you in Belle! Momma
March 28, 2012
Trying so hard not to remember this date, very sad day! Missing you so much! Momma
March 28, 2013
Has it really been 7 years? Our Fur Angel, Duchess - to this day, Momma has missed you more than ever. You are so happy at the Bridge, and looking down on us everyday - that I know! Let me see your face on the clouds, or in my dreams. I miss you my girl!
March 28, 2014
My Angel and Sweet Girl, Duchess - 8 years has gone by in a flash! You and I both know that I still kiss your urn each morning before I leave for work. Though its been 8 years, it still seems like yesterday. If I could only hold you in my heart once more... even in my dreams, that would be of great comfort for me, knowing you're happy at the Bridge! I miss you to this day, my little Girl!
March 28, 2015
9 years have gone by fairly quick. I remember this sad day as if it was yesterday. Little one, I miss you everyday. But I also feel your presence every passing day. You watched and protect us - daddy, Ate, Belle and Melody. You're happy at the Bridge and that's all that matters. I love you and miss you so much!
March 28, 2016
10 years ago went by just like that! I clearly remember that very sad cool spring day when we said good bye to you, baby girl - as if it happened yesterday. Your memorial corner in our family room where your pictured oak urn rest has remained lighted to keep your memory alive! In a couple of weeks your memorial cherry tree will be blooming with it's pretty pink flowers! I truly believe that you're watching over us everyday. Your spirit is well alive with Belle.. sometimes I want to think that it's you inside her body. Belle's traits are very much like you, Girl ! She sleeps with me each night. Momma can't believe that it's been 10 years since you went to heaven - the Rainbow Bridge! I believe that someday we will be reunited again! I love you forever.. and miss you so much :(.
March 28, 2017
It just doesn't seem like its been 11 years! As much as I didn't want to reflect on that sad fateful day when we said good bye to our most beautiful and so smart baby girl, I just can't help it. Momma can't help but stare and look and kiss at your beautiful wooden oak urn sitting at a special place in our family room. I do that everyday. My Duchess, your memory is well and alive in our home and it will forever be. Our babies now - Belle and Melody believe it or not are both 11 years old this year too. They have kept our home full of joy and life.. I know that - that's what you wanted. Oh I how I miss you my baby :(' Your big human sister, Ate Laura got married last October to a great man who's never had a pet growing up. They adopted two fur babies from a rescue - they named Scottie and Sophie. Please watch over our fur babies that we may enjoy their short lives with us. Momma misses you so much and I truly believe that someday we will be all reunited. I love you forever! I miss you everyday!