15 years ago a pug was born into this world. At the time of his birth, I was fawning all over another little Pug named Chopper. Little did I know that I would lose one pug to gain the best friend a person could ever have. You came into my life to help me get over the loss of out little baby Chopper. You were a gift from God. Everything happens for a reason, and I believe God took Chopper from me, so that I could spend the next close to 15 years with you - my Digger!!|
From the moment I first saw you, I knew you were something special. You had that little curl on the top of your head. You came running up to me and jumped on me, and I knew you were the one. I took you home with me, still distraught over the loss of Chopper, but you fell all over yourself you trying to please me. You were a mama's boy from the very beginning. You chose me, and you stayed faithful to me until the very end.
You knew that Pudge was in charge, and until the day Pudge left us, you slept at the foot of the bed, never once trying to invade Pudge's space. As the other dogs came into our life, you always let everyone know that Pudge was number 1, but you were number 2. When we lost Pudge, you stepped up to become the man of the house, and you let all the other boys know that you were now the alpha male. Mam's boy, and whether they liked it or not, that was the way it was going to be.
You always had to go wherever I went. If I walked to the door to leave, you were right there ready to go with me. You loved car rides, and always made sure that you got to go on them, all the way up till the end. You loved my work, and always knew right where my office was. You would make a beeline for it the minute we arrived, and always wanted to play hide and seek before we left. As a parting gift, you would always leave a little present in the flower bed right outside the back door. Just letting everyone know that you had been there.
When I travelled for work, as long as it was within driving distance, you always made the trip with me. You went to Nebraska, Illinois, Missouri, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Tennessee and Kentucky that I remember, but you may have been other places. I stayed in many a hotel that would not have been my first choice, however, they allowed dogs, and it was worth it for me to have you there with me. I think all of my clients knew about you, as I talked about you all the time, and even if they never got the chance to meet you, they still knew about our special bond.
Holidays were always special, cause you went wherever we did, and got treats from everyone. It is no wonder that you became such a chunky dog. You were tall, though, so you carried the extra weight well. You were there for the birth of all of the grandkids, and when the four oldest first came around, you protected them and looked over them. As they slept, you would not let anyone get close to them. You treated those girls as if they were your own children. You were the best companion ever for them.
Back in October of 2012, when we were told that you possibly had cancer and probably would not make it to Christmas, I was devastated. I was not ready to lose you. Funny thing is, you were not ready to go. For the next 3-1/2 years, we did everything we could make you happy and keep you healthy. You were as spoiled as a dog could possibly get. You were our child, and we took care of you. As you grew older and weaker, you never complained. You always picked up a toy and wanted to play. You still guarded your bones and showed that you were still tough as ever.
Unfortunately, I was unable to keep you by my side forever, and as your tiny frail little body got weaker, I knew that it was time to let you go. The day you left me, I lost a large part of my heart. No more do I have my Digger waiting for me when I come home from work. No more do I have him to snuggle up to when I sleep. No more do I have to worry about if he has been fed and is feeling okay. I know that you are whole again, up playing with your pug brothers running around. I will forever miss you and love you my Digger. I can't wait for the day that we will be together again. Until then, you will always be the wind beneath my wings.
Its funny, I thought that leaving again would make things easier for me. Heaven knows I just sit at home and cry for you all the time. But, its been exceptionally hard. I think I know the reason too. Every time I would leave, I always made sure you rode to the airport with me so I could say goodbye to you. Or, if I couldn't take you to the airport, I would always put you into your little bed and hug and kiss all over you and tell you goodbye. The minute I would get to where I was going, I would always call and make sure you were okay. I thought and worried about you 24/7 when I was gone. I was always so excited to come home, just cause I knew you would be waiting for me. You were always so happy to see me, and I was always so happy to see you. All the times you waited with papa at the airport. You would whine so loud the minute you knew I was there, until I grabbed you and held you and told you I was sorry for leaving you again. Now, there is nothing for me to come home to any longer. How I am going to miss the excitement that we shared when we saw each other. The hugs, the kisses, the love that I have never felt for anyone else. One love that was shared by two. There is nothing for me to look forward to any longer. No reason to come home. I wish I could hold you one more time, and tell you I'm sorry. Sorry for leaving you again.
It was always me who left you behind. How sad you must have been. But I always came back to you. Now you have left me, and I know you are never coming back. The pain is unbearable. Please help me to stay strong my Digger. Until we are together again, you will always be my one and only - my Digger!!
12/20/16 - It's 5 days before Christmas, and the holidays have been really rough. Christmas was always your favorite holiday. You loved to get presents. While the girls passed them out, you would always walk around and check everyone's out. Then when you would get yours, you would guard it until it was your turn to open. You and I always went last. You loved to open your own presents, and you were really good at it. You loved to get toys and treats. Then you would always go with us to everyone's Christmas parties, and you were served Christmas Dinner right along with everyone else. You were a part of the family as same as everyone. The thought of not having you here to hold and celebrate the holidays with me has taken its toll. I cry constantly - if I think about you, if I see your pictures, the tears just start flowing. Sometimes I just wish I could be up in heaven with you. Holding you and loving you and being happy again like we were. Wait for me baby. We will be together again one day, and everything will be perfect again!! I love you and miss you so much. Momma!!
12/15/17 - It's been a busy year this year Digger. So many changes in our life. Some good, some bad. It's the bad times that I miss you the most. I am just not a strong person without you. Papa and I were talking the other day, and can't believe that you have been gone almost 2 years. It still hurts like it was yesterday. The holidays have really been tough for me this year. I miss you so much. I still cry every time I think about you. I can't believe it hasn't got any easier. I spend more time at home now. Don't have to travel so much for work. I got a really great job Digger. I get to work from home now. I wish I could have had this job when you were alive so I didn't have to be away from you so much like I was. I hope you are doing well. I am sure you are running around playing with all your brothers. I hope you look down on me from heaven sometimes and remember how much I love you. I miss you so much baby. I look forward to the day we can be together again. Until that day comes, you will always have my heart. Love, Mama