Welcome to Coosie's Rainbow Bridge Memorial Residency
Coosie's Rainbow Bridge Pet Loss Memorial Residency Image
Memories of Coosie
03/23/11 - Oh my dear little Coosie, where do I begin. On August 15, 1997 when I brought you home you brought me out of a very dark place in my life. You made me smile, you made me laugh and you showed me that I could love again. You gave me your heart and I gave you mine. So much fun and joy we have had over these few short years. The long, long walks, watching TV together, designing your greeting cards, playing hide and seek which was your favorite. Everyone who knew you loved you. You greeted your many friends with your wagging tail and the smiling look on your adorable little face. You always wiggled and smiled with each little nick name I gave you. Whether it was Coosie Ba-Boosie, Pork Chop, Piece of Popcorn, Coo-Bear, Grandpa you knew I was talking to you!! You were always ready to go to the groomer to see Chris and Anna. You never hesitated to get into the car when you knew you were going to the doctor either. You would rather have not gone, but you never put up a fuss. You were always, always smiling. If it had not been for the care and love of Dr. Jane Chetkowski and her wonderful, wonderful staff we wouldn't have had these last 5 years. Even with your Cushiing's Disease and your Congestive Heart Disease you carried yourself proudly each and every day. My sweet little boy I miss you so so much. I honestly don't know how I am going to do it. You were my everything and always will be. How am I going to come home from work and not have you at the door smiling up at me? How am I going to watch TV without you in my lap or at my feet? I know you stayed with me as long as you could. When you looked at me with those huge dark eyes, a smile and your tail was "not" wagging, I knew you were telling me, "Mom, it's time." Coosie I was honored to have you as my friend and love of my life. Play with your old and new friends at Rainbow Bridge and please know we will meet again. You and I will be together again some day. I love you little boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

04/02/11 - Oh my little boy, this just isn't getting any easier. It seems that I am feeling the loss more and more each day. I have spent 12 nights without you. We were only apart 1 night in 13 years 7 months and 7 days. That was when you had the Spleenectomy (spleen and tumor removed) and had to spend the night in the emergency hospital. Not having your wiggling white body, black little eyes and black little nose is so very hard. Sorting laundry is exactly that now, sorting laundry. You aren't hear to re-arrange the piles into the way you feel they should be. Going into the closet to get shoes is hard. You aren't here to put your little nose inside a shoe and push it all over the house like it's your toy car. Wiping the floor is exactly that - wiping a floor that does not have your little paw prints or water drippings all over it. Leaving for work is just that - opening the door and walking out. No more double checking to make sure you have fresh cold water, turning on the radio and leaving a little light on. The door bell rings and there is no excitement. No you spinning in a circle, barking and doing the Bichon Buzz to the front door to greet a visitor. I never realized how we lived the last 5 years around your meds and doctors visits. Our day revolved around 6 AM, 3:30 PM, 6:00 PM, 9:00 PM and 10:00 PM pills. My work revolved around your medical visits with Dr. Jane, the Cardiologist or your Internist. I have packed up all of your many many meds and will be bringing them to Dr. Jane to give to people who need them for their little baby. One thing is for sure is that I was so, so blessed to have the funds to take care of you. Where there was a will, there was a way and I came up with each and every cent needed for ACTH tests, thyroid test and echocardiograms. I never had to say, I just don't have the money. You always knew I would have let my house go back to the bank before you were denied your ever so precious health care. You my little boy I owe many thousand thanks to for getting me to stop smoking. Stopping those cigarettes enabled me to buy the most expensive of your meds - Vetmedin and Lysodren. You always seemed happy for a new pill to be added to the line up. That meant yet another little ball of canned food with a hidden object inside. Oh my little Coosie how my life has changed and become so empty. I know I should be happy that you are playing with your old and new little friends, healthy and well. I am being selfish. I can't help it. Someday I hope the pain decreases. I miss you so much and love you so much!!! Love ~ Mom

April 06, 2011 My dear sweet smiling little boy. This continues to be so hard for me. I hear you at night. I heard you at 1:50 AM ... I heard you panting and got up thinking everything has been a dream and that you are still with me. You weren't in my bed and I went to the lanai and that bed was empty, I went to the dining room and that bed was empty. I went into the kitchen and turned on the light and ... your food and water bowls were gone. No, it's not a dream. I swear you were in the house and needed me. My sweet, sweet little boy. I hope you were just an angel baby watching me and panting because you were tired from playing with your new friends. Is that possible? I so hope so. I hope you are playing with all of your new little pals and having fun. I love you Coosie Ba-Boosie! Mom

04/12/11 My sweet little boy, it is just 23 days now. I still miss you so much. All your little doggy friends are missing you. Finnigan was here last night and ran all over the house looking for you. He got up on your bed and looked so sad. I let him take your pig hoof home. He really wanted it. You always shared so well. Easter is coming and I will come back and you can hear your annual Easter song. I am leaving you an Easter Lily. I love you Coosie! Mom

04/19/11 Hello sweet boy. 1 month has gone by now and it still seems like just yesterday. I wish I could hold your little face and kiss your nose and ask you how your day has been. You loved it when I came home from work and did that. Life is so boring without you little buddy. It's hot and humid already. Our walks would be shorter because of this. I saw Marlee today and she misses her little boyfriend. Finnigan will be going back to Canada in a couple of weeks. You didn't like it when all of your friends left for the summer. It's back to a ghost town again. My little boy I will check in again on Easter. I love you Coo-Bear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mom

04/24/11 Happy Easter Sweet Boy. "Here comes Coosie Cotten Tail, Hopping down the Huntington Trail, Hippity Hoppity Coosie's on his way." I sang that to you each Easter Sunday morning for 10 years!!! You would lift up your fluffy Bichon head and prance and prance. Very important looking. How I missing singing it on a walk with you this Easter Morning. There is nothing to look forward to on a holiday now. We use to have such fun spending the day together. Walking, being lazy, playing, watching TV. It's so meaningless now. My Coosie Ba-Boosie I hope you are having fun. Have you met up with Dorcie yet? Her daddy sent me such a nice email. Oh Coosie how I miss you. Yes I am being selfish still and drowning in a pity party of 1. Sweet, Sweet little boy. Kiss-Kiss my Coo-Bear! Love~Mom****

05/15/11 Hello Sweet boy ~ It will be 8 weeks tomorrow. I still just can't believe it. Not a day goes by without tears. It doesn't take much. Everything and anything I look at reminds me of you. The hardest is coming home from work and then going to bed. Honestly I am trying to get a grip, but it's not working. All I want is for you to be home with me again. More than anything else in the world, this is what I want. I saw Dr. Jane, Mona, Sara and the girls last week. I had a nice talk with them. We talked alot about you. They miss you very much too!! There was a lot of thunder and lightening this morning. I missed you growling at the thunder. You were so funny when you did that. You sure weren't scared of storms at all. When you were a little baby we played in the lanai every time it stormed. I think that is why you were never scared. Little Angel still looks for you. Her Daddy said she stops at our walkway and looks to the gate to see if you are there. I saw Angel last week and she put her paws up on my leg, but continued to look behind me. Little buddy, she misses you too! Everyone who knew you missed seeing you walking around the lake. I will be back again Sweet Boy. Love~Mom****

05/28/11 Hi Sweet Coo Bear ~ Another long holiday weekend that I don't have your company. Little boy this week has been harder than any other. I have so much going on with a friend of ours who is very ill. He was your friend too. It's V. I miss not having you to discuss this with. You were my strength. You always showed me the way through your eyes. My little boy ... how I want you home with me again. Coosie, Coosie, Coosie .. you just buried yourself so deeply into my heart and soul. I have read this is suppose to 'someday' get easier and I will deal with it. When that day will come, I certainly don't know. I'm not even interested in getting another little pal. It just won't be **YOU**. I have been working on a design of a memorial tattoo of you. It's your photo with wings. I didn't think I'd ever want more than 1 tattoo, but I think I need you hovering on my shoulder. My sweet ball of smiling fluff. I hope you are continuing to have fun and meeting all the new fur babies as they enter the Rainbow Residency. You will remain the love of my life forever and ever. Until later my Sweet Boy ..... I remain your Mom***

06/07/11 Happy Birthday Sweet Smiling CooBear ~ My sweet little boy you would have turned 14 years old today. I miss having our little birthday party. You would have had some shavings of sirloin and a little piece of crab leg. You loved that annual treat!! My little baby .. tears have been heavy the past week. Very, very heavy. I miss holding you and kissing your little nose and getting all of your Coosie Kisses in return!!! I hope your new little pals and you party like rock stars tonight!!!!!!! Love you Sweet Boy ... Mom*******

06/26/11 Hi Sweet Smiling Boy - My heart is still hurting. I miss you so very much. Little Coo Bear I've been really sick again and have needed you so. Bi-Laderal pneumonia for the 2nd time this year. Going on 3 weeks now. When I had it in January I know the RX's and YOU helped me get over it in a week. Not this time. I don't have your soft little loving self to help me. V isn't doing so well either. He started chemo on Thursday and radiation begins on Wednesday. I wish you were here for him also. Little one, I just got another Small Paws Rescue update from Robin. So many, many, many Bichons need medical care and rescue. Do you remember sitting on my lap and I would read each one out loud to you? You would lick my face when I asked "Should we send a check to help?" Coo Bear, this time you aren't here but I know what you would do. You would go crazy licking me with the latest little babies that need help. I haven't sent Robin and Small Paws your on line notification of passing yet. I will today with a donation to fly one of the Texas Rescue Bichons to them for medical help and fostering. It will be in memory of you, my dear little boy. I've thought so many times that I would love to be a Bichon Foster Mom. Would that work? NO, I'd have to get a kennel license because I would not want to release any of them. Being a rescue Mom would not work living in a gated community and working full time. Little boy I hope you are continuing to run and play with your own and others. You have been WELL for 3 months now. I'm so happy for you!!! Until we meet again my white fluffy ball of love ..... I remain your Mom***** xoxoxox

07/04/11 Hi Sweet Boy, it's 4th of July and yet another long holiday weekend. I'm trying to not dwell on my sadness when I come and visit you. I've been keeping busy with my on-line Pogo Games. I swear that site is my saving grace. I'd rather have you but I know I can't. My pneumonia is almost gone. I had to have 2 rounds of antibiotics and then developed an allergic reaction. Go figure little man!! I haven't seen any of your little friends for many weeks now. Possibly I should just start going outside and look for them, or text their owners to bring them out. It does help me to feel the little body of one of your friends. It makes me feel close to you, and know it makes them feel close to you too. I still miss you so much my boy. I've been told this could go on for years. I'm sure it will. We have a very special and close relationship. I have fleeting thoughts of getting another Bichon, but I can't look at 1 without comparing them to you or crying my eyes out. I know I'm not near ready. Possibly I never will be. It's extremely hot outside. I know if you were here with me you'd go out, do what you wanted to do in a HURRY and then look up at me with that squinting eyed look, "Mom, lets get back into the house NOW." So many, many memories my boy. So many! I sent another donation to Small Paws yesterday. I think we have helped at least 2 needing bichons over the past 30 days. That makes me feel so good and know it makes you spin in circles too. You would do that when you knew I was happy. My boy are you playing with your new pals? Are you thinking of me? I hope so. Not with sadness, just thinking of me. Getting tears again so back to Pogo. Play hard and long my sweet smiling angel. I love you Coo Bear. Hugs & Kisses, your Mom*** xoxoxoxoxox

07/19/11 Hello Coo Bear ~ I wish you were here, "Happy Birthday To Me"! You would dance and dance when I sang Happy Birthday to myself. No dancing this birthday. I have been remembering a lot of our silly moments. We had so many of them. I have been spending a lot of time on Pogo. A LOT!! It does help to bury myself in that in the evenings. I play in the Family Pets rooms and we have talked about you a lot. A few have even come to see you here. Very special people. I'm glad that I have them. It's nice to have myself surrounding with people who understand the relationship that you and I had/have. I am going to be donating to Small Paws again. So many very needing Bichons. I have not ruled out getting a Bichon rescue. I just don't know which way I will go, if any way. I may just have things stay the way they are. Time will tell. I still know now is not that time. Little boy, little boy, little boy. Are you still playing? Are you remembering me at all? Please don't forget me little buddy. I can't talk at you right now. I will be back soon. Hugs & Kisses, your Mom**** xoxoxoxoxox

07/21/11 Hello Little Boy ~ We helped another little doggy today. One who was alone and hurt badly with a useless leg from being hit. The leg has to be removed so in your name we sent another donation to Small Paws Rescue. If you were here with me we'd be so happy together. This little baby Shelby will be OK. I wish Shelby was closer, I would adopt. Shelby has expressions like you. Smiling little boy my pogo friends have gone to Small Paws and are donating too. Something good is coming from all of this my little Coosie-kins. Because of you and I, other little bichon babies will be helped. I am sure you are going crazy waving your front little paws with joy. I love you my little piece of popcorn. It's past my bedtime. Good night hugs ~ your Mom** xoxoxoxoxox

08/15/11 Hello Dakota Jacques Coosie Noonie - Today would have been the 14th Anniversary of the day we met and I brought you home. Baby boy how I wish you were here and we could be celebrating instead of me in total tears and an absolute mess. I knew this day would be a hard one for me. You were such a tiny little ball of white fluff. When I picked you up you acted like we had known each other forever. This was one of the happiest days in my whole life Coosie. You know that thought. I'm not making any new memories with a Bichon Baby yet. I've looked, but the tears just flow and flow and I find myself comparing each little baby to you. That's not fair to bring a new baby into my house if I'm going to do that. NO BABY will ever compare to you my smiling sweet boy. Chris and Anni miss you. She sent me email over the weekend. I know Dr. Jane, Mona, Sara and everyone misses you too. Have you come upon RC and Carolyn's Sonny Beaches yet? They lost him the end of July. I'm sure you and he are playing. Tell him his Mom and Dad are missing him. So is their God Daughter. They too are glad that Sonny is now pain free and playing with you in the meadow. Coosie I know you are having fun and feeling well. I think knowing that is the only thing that keeps me from going over the edge. Little boy you really impacted my life. I'm going to leave you a little gift so I will close and be back very, very soon. Hugs and nose kisses my sweet boy ~ Your Mom** xoxoxoxoxox

09/05/11 Sweet Baby Boy ... Happy Labor Day little man! Another 3 day holiday weekend with out you. No, not any easier at all. Baby Boy my tears still flow and my heart still aches. I miss you so very, very much. It's a beautiful day today. We would have had fun walking this morning. Pogo is still keeping me busy little boy. It's about the only thing that takes my mind off from you. A worker was here last week and he saw your beds and asked me "Where's the pooch?" I teared up telling him. He felt so bad. His little doxie is having pups this week and he wanted to give me 1, but I said no, I am partial to baby Bichons. He understood. I heard back from Chris and Anni and they really miss their Coosie and his Coosie Kisses. I wish with all of my heart and my being that I could have you back here with me ... healthy and happy and bouncing doing the Bichon Buzz through the house and playing our hide & go seek. Oh how much I miss that!!! My sweet little boy I am going to leave you another little something. Just know that I miss you and I will be back again. No doubt about that! With ALL of my Heart and Soul I continue to love you more than yesterday and less than tomorrow!!! Your Mama** xoxoxoxoxoxox

09/24/11 Hello Sweet Baby Boy ... By now you have met Abner. I met his mama in a pogo room. She is beside herself with grief of his loss and she has now put her fur baby here to enjoy you and all the other fur babies at Rainbow Bridge. Show him the ropes little boy!! Having yet another rough weekend without you. This has not been a good week at all. I know you remember Angela (Angie). Coosie she's gone. So very, very sad. What I am feeling for the loss of Angie brings you back to the forefront as well. I really needed you this week and weekend. I feel so badly and don't know what to do. She leaves behind a 3 year old and 8 year old daughters. It's just not fair. Do you remember dancing for her and acting silly all the time? I'm sure you do. V is not doing any better either. The chemo has stopped for a few weeks, but will start again soon. Frank and Janet will be back in a couple of weeks. I am looking forward to that. My little boy how I miss you. I have given it a lot of thought. I don't miss having a dog - I miss having YOU!! I don't know if I will ever be ready to have another little baby boy in my life. My boss knows of someone who has 2 Bichons. I am going to make plans to go there and visit and see how I feel when I am around them. Maybe then I will be ready to begin new memories. I just don't know little boy. Have you been playing? Have you been doing the Bichon Buzz in the meadow and down by the lake??? I so hope so. I picture you and all the other Bichon's doing the buzz and all the other little fur babies laughing at you crazy kids!! I miss you sweetheart. I love you with all of my heart. Your Mama** xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

10/16/11 Hello Sweet Baby Boy .... Coosie hopefully by now you have Sophie with you. I just found out today that she passed away. She was your first little girlfriend - a long hair doxie. You loved Sophie so much and she loved you. How silly you two acted even into your gereatric years. You always pushed yourself up on your little pads trying to be the big man looking down at her, pushing her with your shoulder guiding her. Her suffering, like yours, is over and she is with you and her sister, and her brother. Little boy so much has been going on. Lizzy passed away. I know you know how, so I don't have to go into it. What a shock. Even though I didn't like her AT ALL, you did and that is what is important. Your friend!!! This happened yesterday so I don't know when the family will be back down here. Yesterday was the first of the Stone Crab to hit Pincher's. Diane and I were there and were served ours - the first of their season. Sold completely out by 6:10 PM. Unbelievable. Little baby ... how I miss you. When I went to bed last night you entered my mind and my heart just ached in missing you. I long to take you out for a walk again, I long to hold you so close to me and feel your heart beat, I long to have you lick my cheek, I long for you to look at me with your MAD squinty eyes if I told you NO. I looked at some more pictures of puppies and there is just no way. No way at all I can picture one of them in your bed, playing with your things..... or being in Coosie's Castle period!! This was your house Ba-Boosie. This was Coosie's Castle! It always will be. I pulled out all of your Christmas stockings today. I may put them out at Christmas. I may even put up your Bichon Christmas tree. Then again - I may not do any of it. Darlin' just know I'm still missing you more than yesteday and less than tomrrow. With all of my hear and soul little love of my life - I love you and miss you! Your Mama ..... xoxoxoxox

11/05/11 Hi Sweetheart ~ It's been a while. So much has happened. My sweet little smiling boy why, oh why did this happen to me - Roger let me go. I don't have a job. On the 25th he handed me a severance agreement. I loved that company, my job and everyone there. An ex-employee called me and told me he had talked to Roger and Roger is believing him. Lies, lies, lies. When that employee left he told me he would hurt me and the company. That is why I am gone. It really hurts that a nasty ex-employee did this to me and to that company because I was good at what I did. I just don't know what I'm going to do now. I don't know where to turn. This has been such a horrible year little boy. First I lose you and now this. Hopefully 2012 will be better. If it isn't .................. I will be back again little boy. Play hard with all of your new friends. I love you and miss you!!! Your Mama xoxoxoxoxox

11/24/11 Happy Thanksgiving Sweet Boy ~ This is sure hard not having you around for another holiday. I am so lonely without you. You have no idea. No luck finding work yet. I keep sending out resumes like many, many, many others. I don't know what I am going to do. No matter what happens Coosie, I will always be able to get to a computer and write to you. My little white boy ... I wish you were still here. Our weather has cooled and I know you would love going for a walk greeting all of your snow bird friends as each one returns. People are still asking about you Coosie. No one will ever forget you. Play hard young man. Know that your mama loves you more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. With All of My Heart I LOVE YOU*** Your Mama xoxoxox

12/23/11 Oh Boy ... Sweet Baby this is worse than I imagined. I knew Christmas without you was going to be hard, but never realized it would be this hard. Dang it!!! We use to have so much fun putting up your Coosie Christmas Tree and hanging your beautiful needlepoint Bichon Stockings with your name on each one of them! I didn't put up your tree this year - I couldn't take looking at your Christmas Picture decorations from all the years we were together. I took out 1 stocking and have that hung by the elephant. I love you so much Coosie and miss you terribly. It feels like the ache and the pain gets worse with each day. This has just been a horrible year all the way around. My Smiling Baby ... until tomorrow. I love you more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. With all of my Heart & Soul I **LOVE YOU** Your Mama xoxoxoxoxox

12/25/11 MERRY CHRISTMAS my smiling sweet baby!!!! I hope you and your fur pals are playing and acting silly today. Wishing you were here with me. This first Christmas without you is a hard one. I miss you so very, very much!!! It's sad not seeing your stockings full of new toys, and no presents, no tree, no you! No you doing the bichon buzz through the house grabbing a new toy with each pass thru the lanai. How you made me laugh. You loved all of your toys so much. They are all still here little boy along with your beds. All of my LOVE FOREVER! Your Mama xoxoxoxox

01/07/12 Sweet Baby Happy New Year!! I don't know how I did it, but I've kept away. I hope it has made you play harder and enjoy your little pals. Are you taking good care of Abner and the rest of the gang there? It's just another non-working day my boy. BUT .... I think you may have sent me a message. You know what I'm talking about. I won't know for a bit, but when I do, I will come back here immediately to thank you and thank you and thank you some more! My Sweet boy I still miss you every minute of each and every day!!!! I look at your little pictures and I so wish you were still here. What a handsome boy you are. It's very, very, very late my little Coosie so I am going to go now. Sweet Boy, this is the first time I've written to you and didn't have tears. I don't understand this. Maybe it's because I'm overly tired. I love you more than yesterday, but less than tomorrow. WITH ALL OF MY HEART AND SOUL ..... Your Mama xoxoxoxoxoxox

02/01/12 Hello Sweet Baby Boy!! Coosie I am working for your groomer and Anna now! THANK YOU Coo Bear! I know you made this happen. I'm doing the book work for her business and her adoption business and I'm doing assistant work as well. My back has been so very back so I'm not up to 8 hours a day yet, only 5. I'm working on increasing it as soon as this back stops hurt. I saw a little Bichon Boy yesterday - he looked very similar to you. Not as handsome, but almost. I held a puppy! My first hold since you have been gone. And, this morning - YoYo's Mom (you remember YoYo your little girlfriend) brought in her new Bichon puppy. Adorable little girl. She brought in YoYo and Lilly. Sweet smiling boy none are as cute as you ... NONE OF THEM! I felt very good holding the little Bichon baby. I even forgot about my back while holding her. She was wiggly just like you were, and LOTS of kisses. Chris and Anna want me to get a new puppy. They said I could bring it into day card on days I work in the shop. Coosie I still don't think I'm ready for another dog. I miss YOU!!!!! I could start new memories with a new baby, but I don't know if I want to. I Would so much like to be with you right now. I know you would like to be with me too. Oh My little Coo Bear ... next month it will be a year and the tears still have not ceased or slowed down. This is so hard. I never thought it was be the hard. Who knows my little Bear, maybe some day soon we will be together again. I love you more than yesterday, but less than tomorrow. WITH EVERY OUNCE IN ME THAT I HAVE MY COOSIE I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your Mama xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

02/14/12 Happy Valentine's Day Baby Boy <3 <3 <3!!! Wish I had your cold little nose buried in my neck and I was hugging and kissing you. I miss you so much today. You know how hard this day is for me and this is the first time that I've handled it alone since I brought you home. There are many other reasons this day stinks now too Coosie but I don't want to go into the details. More has been going on with my life. I feel like I'm spinning crazy again. If only you could come back to me for 1 single day - TODAY. IF ONLY!!!!! How am I going to continue to do this? Do I even want to? My friend Jaynie is helping a lot. But, she's not you. If you were here little boy I wouldn't have my life so messed up right now. I don't know if I should go up, down, left, right or just spin. I thought I had found someone and like you know too well ... you know what has happened. I know you do. I'm a mess little ba-boosie. An absolute mess!! If I didn't have you here at Rainbow Bridge to write too I know it would be worse. It's getting darker and darker. Coosie .. now with what's coming up next month - a year. Soon a dang year without you. It's been a long year too buddy. So very much turmoil, and NO, I don't think this is all worth it. Hopefully sooner than later my little man. Hopefully!! I love you more than yesterday, but less than tomorrow. WITH EVERY OUNCE BUDDY, WITH EVERY SINGLE OUNCE. Your Mama xoxoxoxoxox

03/21/12 Hello my little smiling baby boy - Today .... 1 year ago right now I was driving home with only your collar and leash. That drive home was one of the longest drives I've ever had to make. Oh My God Coo Bear ... what a horrible, horrible, horrible year it has been. If only I could have had your little white body to hold during all of my ups and downs - it would have helped me. But I know you had to go. You were tired and you tried your hardest to stay with me and help me through all of the situations that I get myself in to. I don't want another dog Coosie ... all I want is you. I would give absolutely anything for you and I to have even just one more day together. Dr. Jane even sent me an email ... she remembered today too. That shows how caring she is and how much she thought of you my little man. Coosie I just don't know what I'm going to do. I can't work because of the problems with my back. I have nothing but time on my hands which leaves my mind to wander toward you. Little boy ... if only 1 more year even just to see me through what I'm going through now. This past weekend I finally picked up and put your food and water dish away. I can't remove your bed and toys yet. I just can't. It hurts my heart so badly to even think of your things being gone. Even though you are still in my heart, soul and mind .... I have to SEE your things yet too. I took out the baggy of your hair that Dr. Jane clipped for me. Thank God she did that! I touched and held your hair this morning while looking at your picture. I was thinking of how when I said COOSIE .... you stopped and you would stare at me ............ then up on your back legs with your little paws waving in the air, then drop down and take off on the Bichon Buzz ripping thru the house. You silly, silly little Mr. Personality you!!!! I know you are well now. For that I am so thankful! I talk of you often and several more of my pogo friends have been to this site to see you. Most can't read my postings. They said it gives them a lump in their throat. Them telling me that proves to me that I have made some very kind and caring friends. I hope you are taking good care of Abner. Marilyn still feels about Abner the way I feel about you. I have her phone number and will call her. I was going to call today, but I can't. I will let it go until tomorrow and call her during the day. Please tell Abner to send her a sign that he's playing with you and doing well. I'm sure he does send her signs, but ask him to send a special one. Thank you my little boy, thank you. Coo I still have your treat jars on the counter too. YES, treats are still in them. I still have your cans of RX food and the bag of dry. I haven't been able to get rid of them either. Will I ever? OK baby ... I need to go. I'm feeling the lump in my throat too. I hope this finds you playing hard with Abner and all of the other little babies!!!!! Enjoy my little baby boy and remember ... with every ounce of my heart and soul - I love you more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. Your Mama xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxo

04/08/12 Hello my little smiling baby boy - Happy Easter to you. My 2nd Easter holiday without you. Today is just another day since I won't be able to play and enjoy the day with you. "Here comes Coosie Cotten Tail, Hopping down the Huntington Trail, Hippity Hoppity Coosie's on his way." Leaving our little song with you this Easter my baby. Coosie I am moving!! I am moving to Ohio to live with John and Jayne on their ranch. I am so excited. I haven't been this excited since 08/15/97 - that was the day I brought you home. I can hardly wait Coosie. Now I am so glad that I have your ashes. If I didn't, I know I wouldn't be able to leave here. I have been so unhappy living here and now I see light at the end of the tunnel. I'm only bringing my bichon plate collection, my bichon statues, the teddy bear collection, CD's and computer. Everything else is staying!!! And, naturally I will bring you with me. My little Coosie how I still miss you and cry for you. Soon baby ... some day soon. Play hard today with all of your new friends. Give little Abner a kiss from his Mama and from me too. I love you little boy. I will leave you a little Easter Gift. With every ounce of my heart and soul I love you little man Coo!!! Your Mama xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxxo

04/29/12 Good Morning my Sweet Little Boy - GOOD NEWS .... We are moving! On Monday the 23rd I had a cash offer on our coach home and I took it! It was too good of an offer to turn down. Remember Peyton your little buddy next door - it's his Mama's daughter that is buying it. Oh Coosie, things are happening so darn fast. Diane and Sandy have been here for several days packing. We are taking a break today and the girls will be back tomorrow. I am so blessed to have them. Guess what else???????????? NICK is driving me to Urbana! Kelie is going to loan him to me. Yee-Haw! Things are happening fast. The girls only have the office left to pack. Sweet boy, the house seems so big and empty - after a year I have finally picked up your beds, toys and bowls. Reality has set in - you aren't coming home. I packed up all of your matching leashes and collars, your little scarves, your rain jacket, your two sheepskin car seats, your winter Sherpa Jacket the 3 crates and just all of your things and I donated it all to the Collier Spay and Neuter Clinic. They cried getting everything. It went to all the babies who have parents that can't afford the nice things that you had. The new dogs will love everything, especially all of your many, many toys! Oh little boy, it's happening. I am finally getting out of Naples and getting out of Florida. I am hoping this all takes place the week of May 14th. I wrote to a new friend about you today Coosie. I cried telling him all about you. Sometimes I'm a little scared to mention what you and I had to people. Then again, if they don't like it or don't understand ... Oh Well! I know I will have the same bond with my new horse too Coosie. I hope you and Abner have been playing with all of the other dogs and cats and animals. Little boy ... with every ounce in me I love you and miss you. Your Mama xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

06/07/12 HAPPY BIRTHDAY my Sweet, Sweet, Sweet little Baby Boy .... today you would have been 15 years old. More than yesterday and less than tomorrow - I will always love you with all of my heart!

06/16/12 Good Evening my Sweet Little Boy - Oh My, I feel so guilty for not visiting you. What a whirl wind this has been since I last wrote. I am now living with Jayne and Cowboy on the horse ranch. It is wonderful my little baby, just wonderful. I am FINALLY not just sitting and thinking about "what I should have done, what could have happened, if only I still had my Coosie." I still miss you so much my little man. So very, very much!!! I haven't unpacked everything so I haven't put your urn out yet, but I will. I have one LARGE statue out. My room is still a mess. I hope in another 30 days it will be done. I have several boxes in storage and in storage they will stay. We just don't know what we would do with everything unpacked. My little boy there are 13 horses here, 4 Boston Terriers and 2 Border Collies and several barn cats. It's a zoo. This would not be your cup of tea - having haw stuck in your soft white fur. That would be so funny. Jayne and Cowboy are more than I even imagined. I feel so welcome. It truly is nice to not be alone every morning, every afternoon and every evening. Diane told Roger to 'FORGET IT' and she left. She just found another job. I am so happy that she's not at that horrible place any more. I know she will be happier at her new job. I miss Diane, Sandy, Nick & Kelie. But .... I did what I have to do. Little boy I will come back very, very, very soon to visit with you again. I hope you are having fun with your pals. Going to say hi to Abner. With every ounce of my heart and soul, I love you and miss you. Your Mama xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

07/12/12 Hello my Sweet Little Boy - I am sorry that I missed coming to say hi to you on the 4th of July. I'm not thinking clearly these days. This weather is not agreeing with my asthma at all. I can't even walk the 200 feet back to the barn to see the horses. The humidity and the heat has been unbearable. It's so very dry too. All of the farmers need rain, rain and more rain. Can you and possibly Abner and the other kids do a little rain prancing for us to help out? Oh My Dear Sweet Coosie, I received email from Diane. V's cancer could very well be back. He goes in for a cat tomorrow. This is just awful news. As soon as I read her email I knew I had to come to you. I told her I can fly back down there as soon as she and he need me - if that would help. I've been worried. That Big C just disappeared too quickly. THey haven't been back to the 2 final doctors yet. That will happen not next week, but the following. I'm scared for Diane my little Coosie. VERY, VERY scared for her. I will write more later. I'm going to say hi to little Abner. With all of my heart and soul I continue to love you more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. Your Mama xoxoxoxox

08/26/12 Little Sweet Baby Boy - THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!! My little Coosie I know you are behind bringing these horses to me. I did it!!!! I bought horses little boy. I brought my Black Arabian, Izzy, home last Sunday. She's is absolutely gorgeous. Oh Coosie, thank you. And, this afternoon my Paint Tennessee Walking horse, Kody, is home. He's more handsome than the law allows. Coosie you did this, I know it. You know how hard it's been since I lost you. I have missed you so, so, so very much. Little boy, the last time I was this happy was the day I brought YOU home. Coosie, there is another Arabian brought home too, but I can't have 3 horses so Cowboy & Jaynie are taking her over. The lady who I bought Izzy from was so overwrought with foreclosure of her Arabian Farm, death of her children ..... she just wanted her babies to go to a good home. If we had more stall room we would have taken them all. 14 horses here now, and that leaves a couple stalls for kids. Coosie, my sweet little baby boy, thank you. I owe my happiness to you, Mom, Dad, Jaynie's Grandma, Jaynie and Cowboy!! I will be back very soon. With all of my heart and soul I continue to love you more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. Love....your Mama xoxoxoxox

09/21/12 Sweet Baby Boy - Today marks 1 year and 6 months since you had to leave me. I'm still very sad and I miss you so very, very much. I know someday we will be together again. I am loving my new horses. I ride Kody, but not Izzy yet. She is being trained for trails and as soon as Cowboy John gives the OK I will be able to ride her. I have been in contact with Robin at Small Paws. I know you know them because we donated to them. She requested Bichon pictures in a newsletter and I told her HOW MANY pictures I have of you. She loved all the pictures I sent of you. I sent a bunch of them. I am sure you are still busy playing and greeting the many fur babies that are arriving. I know you make a fabulous Host smiling and waving your front little paws to them saying, "Here, let me show you this. Come over this way and see this." You were always such a busy little boy. Give my love to Abner too and all your Pals. With all of my heart and soul I continue to love you more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. Love .... your Mama xoxoxoxox

10/06/12 Hello my sweet baby boy!! Things are still going very well for me living here on the ranch. I feel like I have lived here my whole life. It's crazy!! We all are getting along so well. I love my horses very, very much. And again, thank you!! I'm still not 100% confident in riding but I'm getting better. I just have to stop being so nervous. LOL !!!!!!!!!!!!! I act like I've never owned or ever ridden before. I miss you so much Coosie. I had tears for you last night when I went to bed. I was thinking of some of the silly stuff you and I use to do. I am sure you have had all of your friends spinning in crazy circles telling them our tails. Go ahead and tell away - you and I had a lot of fun, didn't we? I miss you baby boy!! You and little Abner play long and hard with all of your new and healthy friends. With all of my heart and soul I continue to love you more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. Kissies ..... Mama xoxoxoxox

11/22/12 Happy Thanksgiving my sweet smiling baby boy! It's Turkey Day here on the ranch. Jaynie has a huge bird in the oven. I did some cooking yesterday. You always loved that so much! You couldn't have any of the food I was cooking but you were still right there by my side. My sweet boy!! I wish you were here with me ... I don't think you and Junior would have gotten along. He would be jealous as you would have. Maybe not too. You would have had fun in the mud and getting hay all caught up in your hair. LOL !!! I hope you and your little friends are romping in the meadow and playing and playing! For me, play around the horses there too. If you come across Music and some of Jaynie's and Uncle Wally's horses please give them a big bark from us!! Dr. Jane sent me email this morning. She was on this site and read my posting last month. She thinks of us often. When I am back down there next month I will try and stop and see her. With every ounce of my heart and soul I love you more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. Kissies and Scratches .... Mama xoxooxoxoxoxo

12/24/12 Merry Christmas my sweet smiling baby boy!!! It's December 24th already and I'm back in Florida! I came back here because Jaynie wanted to visit with her Mom, Dad, brother, his wife and her sister. I'm staying in a hotel and all is well. Missing you my little white cutie pie. Jaynie's Dad just lost their doggy, Rusty, last Friday the 21st. He also had heart disease. Look for him if you haven't already found him. He's a little Pom and his name is Rusty. Maybe he's found you already. Please tell him that Mom and Dad miss him very much. Lots of tears. I've been telling them he's not feeling any pain any more and that he's with you at Rainbow Bridge. You and Abner show him the ropes and make him feel loved. He's just a little tiny boy and he will need you. I'm missing my horses while we are gone too Coosie. Kody is loving me so much as I do him, and I'm getting closer to Izzy too. They aren't you. Nothing will be you, but they are doing a great job as are Evan, Chella, Junior, Ozzy, Jorge and Sara. Jaynie said she loves you too little one. Going to Naples on Wednesday to visit with Frank and Lynda and family. I'm hoping to see your vet, Dr. Jane, too. I hope they are open. My little boy .... just know that I continue to love you with all of my heart and soul - more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. Kissies and Scratches and Hugs ..... Mama xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

02/18/13 Hi my little baby boy .... Happy New Year and Happy Valentine's Day! Sorry I haven't been to see you sooner. I'm trying to not come as often. I know you are playing with your little pals and you are waiting for me to join you as well. Some day my little boy. Some day. I miss you so much. I've had many tears over the past week. 18 years since C.J.'s medical problems started and then it reminds me that 2 years next month since I lost you. I still miss you so much. I wrote about you today and it just made the tears flow. I'm still doing the Coosie's Creations cards. I love doing them and I love putting you cute little face on the back of them in your winged heart logo. Gosh ... if I could just hold you and have you snorting into my ear. It's just amazing how much I miss you. Coo it's almost more and more each day. I thought some of the pain would be gone by now, but new things just keep popping up into my head and I wonder if I could have done something differently to help you. Sometimes when Jaynie's little Junior looks up into my eyes with his dark black eyes I see you. Even though he's a Boston ... he has those dark eyes that just melt my heart like your eyes did. Going to leave you another little treat. I should have been here on Valentine's Day. I'm sorry my smiling little boy. I love you more than yesterday, but less than tomorrow. Kissies and hugs to the love of my life ....Mama xoxoxoxoxox

03/21/13 Hello my sweet smiling baby boy ... Two years ago today at 4:20 PM (approximately) we said our goodbyes. My white bundle of fluff that is a time I will never ever forget. I loved you so, but it was what 'we' had to do at that time. There was nothing more that Dr. Jane or your cardiologist or I could do. Suddenly your tail wag was no more. You were telling us it was time. These last 2 years have been very hard without you. I was so very dependent upon you. If I didn't have Jaynie, Cowboy and all of these animals with me daily I don't know what I'd do. It truly would be so very, very hard. I looked thru some of the other Bichon residences again and there are new ones with you. I know you are all having a lot of fun playing in the sunshine and feeling healthier than you all have ever felt before. I do know we will be together again my sweet boy. To look into those beautiful eyes of yours and feel your cold wet nose snorting in my ear is what I am so looking forward to feeling again. Just to hold you and call you my sweet Dakota Jacques Coosie Noonie. Greet little Abner and Rusty for me. My little boy, I love you more than yesterday, but less than tomorrow. Hugs and Kisses and know I continue to love you with every ounce of my heart and soul. Your Mama xoxoxoxoxox

03/21/14 Hello smiling baby boy ... Gosh, 3 years have gone by so quickly. I still miss you so very, very, very much! You always will be the love of my life. I think about you so very often. I am living back in Minnesota now. I know you know that. I feel you keeping your black eyes on me ALL the time. You would love where I live. You would want to be down in the office visiting with Debbie and seeing all the people and the other dogs. My neighbor has a little pug. You love Pugs. Charlie was your best little buddy. I'm not going to let a year go by. I'm going to be back more often now. I am taking new meds so the tears are less now. Not because I'm not missing you - it's because they are helping me with control. I've just missed you so very, very much. I know you are still having fun playing with all of your many friends. Some day, we will meet again my precious baby boy. I love you with every ounce of my heart and soul. I love you more than yesterday, but less than tomorrow. Your Mama xoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxox

03/21/16 Hello my little boy .... it has been 5 years. WHAT? It still seems like yesterday. I still surround myself with your pictures, the bichon statues and I had a mini-Coosie made of pure wool. It looks just like you in one of your pictures. I put it in a display case and it's in the living room. I never did get another baby. My back and breathing wouldn't handle another one. How I love you my Coo Bear. Such a joy! I love your more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. Your Mama xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

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