My sweet, sweet boy. You have left such a hole in my heart and Ben and Sofie's... What a life we led together! From the moment I found you on that cool October morning to the last breath you took, I could not have loved you more. A beautiful little boy with a strong feral streak, you made yourself at home pretty quickly. We had our ups and downs trying to bond in the beginning, but the day you first got sick and hospitalized, at 18 months brought us together in ways we didn't expect. Singing "our" song, cuddling you and feeding you roast beef solidified a bond. We both learned how much we loved each other through that experience. And from then on, you loved to be sung to, you loved to have your tummy rubbed and you rewarded me with crazy cat kisses after each belly rub. We called it "tenderizing me" in prep for you eventual nip...You got so big after being sick- everyone said the same thing upon meeting you- "That's a big cat!" You loved your toys, you loved to be combed, you loved to be carried so you could look at all the things you couldn't reach. And I loved to stare into your yellow eyes and memorized every white spot and beautiful marking you had. |
Remember how worried I was when we brought home Ben and Sofie... you were not happy at all at first. But then, a few days later, there you were, licking/cleaning the babies and showing them all around the place. You and Ben became inseparable and he is still running all over the house trying to find you.
Our life was blissful until last year when you got sick again. You were such a good boy about taking your medication every day. I made a promise to you that I would listen to what you wanted and I would let you go when you were ready. And then, when you did tell me, I tried not to hear it... I didn't want it to be true. But, eventually, I looked in your eyes and I knew it was time. It wasn't fair to put you through all the suffering so that I could have more time with you. I am so grateful for the time we got to spend together at the end- with me singing our song, hugging you and you so peacefully crossing over to Rainbow Bridge.
My tears have not stopped flowing and they may never. But I try to keep the focus on the joy and love you brought to me. And the laughter. And how therapeutic you were to so many of my clients. They all miss you too! I am sure that Zachary was waiting for you there, at the Bridge and hopefully he's shown you the best plants to eat and the sunniest spots to hang out in.
Rest in peace my beloved. And remember, "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too!!"
Update 3/23/15- My beautiful baby boy... you are missed each and every minute of each and every day. I still keep your medicine in the fridge- I just can't throw it out. Ben still cries for you each morning and evening. He looks for you everywhere. Nothing I say eases his pain. We love you Kiki... we always will.
Update 11/7/15- One year, but for us a life time... To my beautiful baby boy, I still miss you, love you and think about you every day. We talk about you all the time and I still cry when I look at your pictures. And yes, your medicine is still in the fridge. Today we honor your memory with a hole in our hearts, but remembering all the joy you brought us. Until we are all together again, rest in peace, Cian.
Update 7/6/17: I still miss you every minute of every day. You were the soul of our family, my sweet baby boy. Ben clings to your memory and loves when I say your name. I thought it would get easier, but it's not.
Update: 11/7/17- 3 years, but its been a lifetime. I never realize how deeply I loved you until you were gone. Rest in peace my sweet, sweet boy. We miss you with all out hearts and soul.