I bought Chloe online to replace my 15 month old Yorkie, Jessie, who had died suddenly due to a heart problem. I saw a picture of a little puppy in a Christmas box, clicked on it and I was told I had "one Yorkie in my cart." Chloe was my sole companion for the last 12 years. She protected me fiercely, hunted all sorts of creatures in my backyard. Possums, ground hogs, squirrels, skunks. Nothing was too big or too scary to her. She made me laugh, she made me cry and she kept me warm at night and comforted me when I was sad. Three years ago she developed congestive heart failure and renal failure. She was hospitalized for 3 days and when she refused to eat I said I was taking her home. Her doctor sent her home with me expecting her to die and told me to keep her comfortable. On the way home I stopped at Wendy's and bought her a vanilla frosty. The rest was history. She lived a happy, fun-loving life for 3 years. When she wasn't with me she went to doggie daycare and played the day away. She was on medications which she didn't like and would bury her nose in her bed when it came time to take them. I also had to start her on sub Q fluids. I sat on a recliner which I called our infusion chair and she would happily jump up and sit next to me in the sun, usually falling asleep on my arm while I gave her the fluids. Chloe was a real fighter and a trooper with the courage of a dog 10 times her size.|
On Christmas day she had labored breathing and was hospitalized overnight. It happened again on New Year's Day and this time I couldn't bring her back to the quality of life she once enjoyed. No matter how much she ate she was skin and bones. She could only sleep with her mouth open and had trouble breathing and eating at the same time. She would cuddle up against me at night, under the covers, and in the morning there would be blood on the sheets from her bleeding gums. She couldn't jump up on the bed anymore, I carried her up and down the stairs and out into the backyard. Squirrels ran past her and she could only watch. On January 8th I had to make the terrible decision to stop her suffering. It was time to send her to the Rainbow Bridge where she could run and hunt and play again with her little Yorkie boyfriend, Chucky, who had been waiting for her to join him for almost 2 years. She is also with my best human friend, Fran, whom I lost in 2014. I hope Chloe is enjoying her new life. As for me, my heart has been ripped out of my chest and I don't know how to go on without her. My dear, sweet, little baby, Chloe. I'll love you forever and ever and will miss you until the day I die.
So here it is, 1/8/2018, Chloe's 1 year anniversary. I have been thinking about this day arriving for a couple of weeks now. This morning before I got out of bed I kept my eyes closed and spoke with Chloe in my mind. I told her how much I loved and missed her and even asked her to briefly enter the body of my new Yorkie, Roxy, as she snuggled against me under the covers. I just wanted to feel like I was hugging Chloe again. It didn't happen but when I got out of bed I lifted the window blinds and a beautiful red cardinal immediately flew onto my roof. He looked at me, stayed for a moment and flew away. I've read that when a cardinal appears it is a sign from a deceased loved one. I'm sure Chloe sent him. I also asked my best friend, Fran, whom I lost in 2014, to give Chloe some extra "nubs" today. Nubs were what Fran called it when she would scratch Chloe's snout between her eyes. I got into my car a little later and the first song that came on was the one that was Fran's and my favorite. We used to love to dance to it when we were young. I also took that as a sign from Fran that she would honor my request for Chloe. Chloe has given me many, many signs she she left her little fur body. I have gone out at night and asked the night sky for specific signs from Chloe and the next day, received each and every one of them. So amazing and I am so thankful. I thought today would pass and I would just be sad but then I received a beautiful email from this site in remembrance of Chloe's anniversary. Also, a wonderful man whom I don't know, Robert Paul, signed Chloe's guest book to commemorate her anniversary. I finally came to Chloe's memorial page which I haven't looked at in about a year. I read her memorial, listened to "On Eagle's Wings", read her guestbook and cried my eyes out. The tears in my heart haven't dried yet and I miss and love Chloe as much as ever. I know I'm still fighting depression even though I KNOW her spirit is with me. I also know people say I have to get used to a new life without her but I'm not even close to that yet. Thank you, thank you to all of you who signed Chloe's guest book to comfort and sympathize. You are all God's angels here on earth.