"CHLOE HAD 4 LEGS, A TAIL AND SHE BARKED. SHE WAS TO ALL OUTWARD APPEARANCES A DOG, BUT TO THOSE WHO KNEW HER WELL, SHE WAS A PERFECT LADY" (V.H.Gingold)|
Chloe so beautiful, red and fair, we were often compared because I too have red hair the color of hers. Sweet, Loving and gentle. She never complained. She was so shy of the camera though it was funny. We could not get good pictures of her because she ran from us. We got this one picture recently that shows just how beautiful she was. She was so shy (or maybe scared) when I first got her that she would sleep underneath the bed all the time. See, Chloe was dropped on someone's door step and I took her in. She went by many names in the house but mostly, she was my Princess, the baby bear, Chloe girl, my fur face.
Chloe was with me longer than anyone else in my household. We are unsure of her birth date, but she was almost 16 by most accounts. She was never real smart. But what she lacked in common sense, she made up for in heart, love, and spirit and that made us love her even more. She was so accepting of all beings in the house whether they were 2 legged or 4.
She was always such a joy except when she was playing follow the leader out of the fence by following our other passed dog Jessie or barking when our current dog, Ziggy barks. With no "bad influences" around, she was such a quiet, content and loving being. She was very mommified. When she got dumped on the doorstep in Winston-Salem in circa 1995, I believe she was approximately 3 months old. She was shy, timid, quite a "fraidy cat". I shudder to think of what caused her, in that very short time of her life, to be so frightened and scared so much that she sought comfort under my bed. That is where she slept most of the time when she wasn't following me around.
Eventually she stopped doing that, but was still very mommified and I didn't discourage my little shadow. It gave me great comfort to know that
Chloe was so shy. She hated having her picture taken. It did not matter if I used flash or not, camera or phone camera, she just didn't like it, I think I have some from when she was younger. But even then, one of the ones I found so far, her head was turned away while my son and other dog looked right at the camera.. As she got older she just started hiding from the camera. You will see my collage of attempts to leave or hide under things to keep her picture from being taken in her photo album. .As frustrating for me as it was, it was also kind of cute and funny. Like the spy who could not reveal their identity or get their picture taken.
Chloe was always one to beat the odds and stump the doctors. She had such a will to live. One night I was traveling with my young son, a new puppy and Chloe, who was about 6 at the time. We were almost home but the puppy, Ziggy, really had to use the bathroom. So I pulled over to a parking lot and let him out on a leash. Well, as I got out, Chloe decided to jump across from the backseat,and out the door. She was somewhat of a stubborn dog sometimes; she just wanted to do what she wanted to do. And she wanted to run around. Unfortunately, we were on a very busy street at night. I chased Chloe calling her. I was desperate because she was running right for the road. She must have thought it was a game. She got hit by a pickup truck that kept going. Right in front of my eyes, she was tossed like a rag doll in the air and landed with a thud not 10 feet from me. I ran to her and fell to the ground and just started bawling. I thought she was gone. I didn't know what to do. She was a large dog. Too heavy for me to lift. My young son and my puppy were in the car across the street. It was then I learned of how wonderful people can be. Although the guy that hit her kept going, several passersby saw what happened and stopped to help. One elderly couple helped by giving me a blanket. Between all the people who stopped, they were able to put her on the blanket and carry her to my car. I then rushed her to the animal hospital. They did not think she would live. But she did. She beat the odds. But not without the help of some very good people. The people who were passing by and also my sister. The care was very expensive and I did not have the money for it. So my sister paid for Chloe to stay in the hospital a whole week. Ironically, Chloe had no broken bones and no real serious injuries. She was in shock, which was life-threatening. I put this in here hoping that others, who have the opportunity to help someone, will. Because of them, Chloe lived 10 more years to be 16 years old.
In August 2009, Chloe was diagnosed with heart failure. The vet also suspected cancer. She went through periods of ups and downs. When she went through periods of not eating and barely drinking water and she was weak, my wonderful vet and I would work with her meds and diet and she would recover to feeling a better. I was told to feed her whatever she would eat. Her favorite was bologna. She LOVED her bologna. She would be so spry that she would roll around in the grass and rub her face around...she was so happy. Though we did not think she would make it through Thanksgiving and then Christmas, then New Year. You see the pattern. One of those times she was so sick was Dec 5..She looked at me with tired eyes as if to say I don't know if I am strong enough mommy, even with all your love and care for me trying to get me to eat and get me on the right meds but I think maybe it is time to let me go. I was determined that Dec. 5th was not going to be her last night, nor Dec 6, or 7th. Unless she was really in pain. I would cry and cry nights when she wasn't doing well, draped over her and hugging her with my tears falling on her.. I called them my magic tears because each time, she would bounce back. I knew if my magic tears didn't work though, I would have to let her go on to Rainbow Bridge and I would help her get there. I knew my heart would be so completely broken. I thought, how can I send my baby, my puppy, who is so mommified and has such separation anxiety, off onto this journey alone. She will be so frightened. At least at first. Then she will be at peace. She will miss me terribly, as I will mourn and miss her the rest of my life. I just didn't want to let her go. There was only one other fur baby that was even near as special to me as Chloe was. Her name was Peanut. I told Chloe "find Peanut at the Bridge and you will be best of friends. Then, one day, we will all be together again. While you wait, you will play and frolic with no pain, no sickness, plenty of food and water, care and love". That is what will keep me going is knowing you are there happy and healthy. I wanted to beg you, to scream to you, please please don't leave me. Even though I know that it was immensely selfish. I knew that even if I won $40 million, there was still nothing I could do to save you.
I knew in the end I would do what had to be done, whatever was the best for you to be comfortable, happy and safe again, no matter how much it would tear me up. It is so true that parting is such great sorrow. A sorrow I hope I can bear. You can not and never will be replaced. You are the last of my great baby girls. I love you so much. You are part of me, part of my family and so much a part of my life.
I will never ever forget you. I will think of you all the time. Just ask Peanut. She knows. She has been at the bridge at least 20 years and I still think of, talk about, and love her. You and I had an even more special bond. One I have never shared with any other 4 legged member of my family. I didn't want you to go. I was really afraid I would break down. But what would hurt me worse is to keep you here in pain; unhappy and tired, just to selfishly keep you with me. I promised I would not do that to you. When you got bad and looked at me with those eyes that said "its time" then I knew it was the right thing to do. I love you so much and can't stand the thought of life without you. Knowing that we will meet at the Bridge, with you healthy, pain free and happy is all that is going to get me through. I truly believe that this has been and will be harder on me than when Peanut died.
You obviously didn't want to leave me any more than I wanted you to leave me. You stayed with me until March 25, 2010. I had to make the choice to let you go, which is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I had the vet come here to the house and you lay in your favorite place. I held you and stared in your eyes, telling you how much I love you as you drifted off to forever sleep.
Sleep, sweet baby, sleep. Sleep a sleep so fine where there is no pain, only good happy things.
May 20, 2010
It has been 2 months since you left to go to Rainbow Bridge. Mommy misses you terribly still. I try to keep happy thoughts and think of you running in the meadows with all the other fur babies that are there waiting for their loved ones. I love you so much. It still hurts as much as it did 2 months ago. But I know you are in a better place and pain free. I hope you are happy.
It has been 9 weeks today since you left me. I miss you more every single day without you. I don't cry as much anymore. I have come to accept that this had to be this way. My heart is still cracked, a piece missing, you, missing. I love you so much. I only had 1 small dream with you in it. I hope to dream more wonderful dreams of you every single night. I hope you and Rocky are together playing and you are showing him the ropes. I bet he met Ms. Kitty already. His mommy is sad and misses him very much just as I miss you with all my heart.
June 17, 2010 3 month anniversary
My dearest girl, it has been 3 months today since you went to Rainbow Bridge. I still miss you terribly. Rocky is there now. Did you find him? I hope so. Please find him and take care of him. He can see now that he is there. You and he can have so much fun playing and running. His mommy Aunt Gail is sad and misses him. She would be so happy to know you are together with your cousin and looking out for him. It is hard to believe it was only 8 months ago that all of us were together celebrating Aunt Gail's birthday. We have pictures of all 4 of us with our birthday hats on. That was a fun party. Last week we went to the lake and Ziggy swam. It was not the same without you there swimming too. It was so funny that you would want to just keep on swimming further and further out and I had to put a long long leash on you so you wouldn't try to swim to China. I miss our times together so much. I have some great pictures of you swimming at the beach. I'm going to post them so visitors can see them. I am going to post all the pictures I can find that show the joy, the fun and the love we had during your long wonderful life. It still ended too soon for me. Ziggy misses you. He's lonely and he barks a lot. Maybe you can talk to him and let him know your ok so he will calm down. The kitties, Sonny and Cher, miss you too. Mike (Daddy) misses you terribly too. We talk about you all the time. We were just talking about how you never got on our nerves. You were always always just such a sweet, gentle, cuddly teddy bear. I miss my little shadow that was with me following me all the time. I miss turning around and almost falling over you. There has never been a baby like you and there never will be again. For me, you were one of a kind and can never be replaced. You are in my heart forever and always. I think of you all the time and look at your pictures. I try not to cry but I still do cause I miss you so much. I have your pictures all around so I see your beautiful face all day every day. It is on my bedside table so as I cut off my light you are the last big beautiful brown eyes I look into. I dreamed about you one night. I was so sure you were there and I felt my fingers rubbing through your fur petting you and holding you. I could even smell you. It is very hot here now. If it is hot there, drink plenty of water. I made a beautiful memorial site for you. I am painting a stone that will go there. It is taking me some time to do. Someone told me, with such great love, comes great loss and sorrow. That is so true. But I try to remember the happy times. I know you are healthy there and not in pain. CJ is there, Sam, Nikki, Peanut and now Rocky too. So you are surrounded by family. And your family here sends you love on angels wings every day all day. We love you.
July 8th. I believe Chloe's real birthday was around 7/8/1994. Since she was a rescue dog we were never sure, so the vet put her birthday as 1/1/95.
November 30, 2012
I saw some home videos recently. It was when Bryan was 4 years old. You and Jessie were playing with him. You were all so cute!
My baby girl,
Each baby's life has meaning and purpose and the love we shared is sacred. A bond of love too strong to ever be broken, even when the physical body leaves us, the spirit remains. Hold onto to your Chloe's love and spirit and use that special love for the good of others.
Patricia, know that grief is not measured in time, but when the heart is dry of tears and your mind comes to acceptance, you will you begin to heal. Meanwhile, it is my hope this note let's you know you are not alone.
Sending many prayers that you will continue to find comfort and heal.
I am trying to dry the tears and always remember how much I love you.
March 25, 2014
I cannot believe it has now been 4 years since you passed away. It seems like just yesterday you were still here with me. I still have the stuffed animal that looks like you and I still hug it every night. I miss you so much. Ziggy is getting older and he is having problems with arthritis the way you did. (But he is very healthy and still playing like a puppy cause he doesn't know he isn't a puppy anymore.). I know you are playing too now since you are no longer in pain and forever a puppy. Both of the kitties are doing great too, though we all still miss you. There is a new friend I want you to look after. Her name is Peaches and she just recently came to Rainbows Bridge. Her mommy is my best friend and she is really sad and misses her baby too. I know you will show her around and play with her so she will never be lonely. I love you so much my baby girl!
I never knew exactly what day was your birthday since you were a rescue. I just assumed you were born around January 1 but I also thought to celebrate your birthday on July 8. That is because that is the date you actually came into my life.it is now hot summer here. I still miss you 4 1/2 years after you are gone as much as I did then. Ziggy is now almost 16 but he still thinks he is a puppy. The kitties still miss you too. I think of you every single day.
It's almost Christmas time again dear baby girl. I can't believe this is the 4th Christmas without you. I still think of you every single day and miss you. Even though Ziggy is with us and so are sonny and Cher, there is just no filling the hole you left in heart when you died. I love you and miss you. Merry Christmas to my princess.
March 25, 2015
My dear sweet girl. I cannot believe that 5 years have passed since you left us. I still miss you soooo much! I think about you every day. Ziggy is now 16 and he is still doing so good. He misses you and the kitties miss you too. You were so beautiful. In my eyes, you will always be beautiful. I just wish I could hug you again and feel your fur on my face. The day you had to leave, I couldn't seem to let go. I even went after the vet (who had you in her car after you passed) and had to hug you one more time. You were already gone so you didn't know it. But it was for me. I just didn't want to let you go. I still don't. But I had no choice. You were not well anymore and very unhappy, you let me know you were ready to go. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. But I wanted to be a good mommy and help you to feel better forever. It is still so painful. I know time is supposed to help but it hasn't so far. I love you so much and I miss you terribly. I just keep dreaming about you running and playing in the field and swimming. Running across rainbow bridge with your other friends there. The sun shining...and you being happy and whole again. That vision, that dream, that is the only thing that makes it bearable not having you here with me, my sweet princess.
I love you forever..
Your mommy always.
March 25, 2016
Once again, it is the anniversary of your passing. 6 years today. And I still miss you like it was just yesterday. I still have yet to have cried all my tears for you. Your baby brother will be crossing Rainbow Bridge soon. In April, 2 weeks from now. Although we are going to miss him terribly, it gives us great comfort to know he will be there with his big sister. Someone to show him the ropes and keep him company. Please take good care of him.
I love you my sweetest baby girl!!
Mommy loves you so much and I miss you more every single day.
My dear girl, my beautiful princess. I still cannot believe you are gone. It seems like just yesterday in so many ways and in other ways it seems like forever. But mostly it seems like just yesterday that you were frolicking in the ocean with your brother Ziggy. I can only hope that you and Ziggy found each other at rainbows bridge and are you frolicking through the water with him there. I still think of you every day and every time I see a dog that looks like you I always say there's a Chloe dog. I hate to admit it but even though it's been seven years I still cry about you. Since you had to go away we have also lost beloved members of our family Like your granddaddy and your brother Ziggy. But your kitty brother and sister, Cher and Sonny are still here and doing wonderful I'm sure they still miss both of their doggie brothers. I just wanted to tell you today, being the day that I lost you, again how much you meant to me how much I love you still and I how much I miss you still. Sweet dreams my sweet princess.