9/Just one of my special memories of my Cam Man are the times we went for our early morning walks. Three, four, five in the morning, he'd be waiting for me when I came home from adoration with his little head under the swinging doors, so excited to see me and ready to go. It was our time together. It was still dark and the stars were out, so peaceful. I didn't even have to hold the leash, he would never think of leaving or running somewhere without me. In fact if I dropped the leash or his collar slid off his neck for some reason he would stop and look up at me and wait until I either picked up the leash again or put his collar back on around his neck again. Then we'd continue on our way.|
Cam is a beautiful white boxer and he is deaf and he always waited for the signal from me that he could go with me on walks or car rides. He didn't get crazy or jump up and down, he always waited patiently and looked at me with his one blue eye and one brown eye, just as if he were looking right through me. Then he'd walk over and let me put his leash on and we'd go on another adventure.
Cam never begged at the table, he only barked twice the whole time we had him and not once had an accident in the house. In fact he could hold it the longest I've ever seen in any animal. If he had to he would hold it all night and all day. If he didn't want to go outside because of the rain or alot of snow, he would stay inside until he absolutely had to go out.
My dear Cam, you have the most beautiful blue eye and such a gentle face. You understood me and comforted me when I went through some very hard times in my life. You always knew and you always came to my side, even when my human companions didn't. You truly cared about me.
We'd sit at the park for hours. You at my feet, and we'd watch the sunset together. You comforted me when no one else cared and when I was suffering from depression. You were alway there. You were my companion at the early morning hours when you'd come with me to Regions hospital at 3:30, 4:00 in the morning and pray the rosary for an end to abortion. It was just you, me and God. How many times did we go and how many miles did we put on as we walked back and forth in front of the hospital. You were my protector, and even though it was still night and we were in the big "City", I felt safe with you at my side. You were so proud. I was so proud of you.
Your favorite toys were a pink tennis ball and a stuffed Lambchop. You love rawhide chews. You also just loved so much those laser lights or pointers. You'd chase after them and try to get them. You'd play with that for hours if you could. You never did anything wrong. You lived for your people. You are and will always be the best dog in the world.
You left me so suddenly, it has been seventeen weeks now and it seems like yesterday still. I know you suffered and I'm so sorry. I wish you could have told me. You were here one day and gone the next. Each weekend I live through what happened. I brought you to the Vet on Saturday and you were gone on Sunday morning! I miss you so, so much my little boxer boy. My little Cam Man. You are forever in my heart and I will never, ever forget you. You are the most perfect dog! I love you so much. I want you back so much. You had just turned 8 years old and you had so much more time ahead of you. Remember me, dear Cam. I love you, Mom.
8/27/13 Today is August 27th, the dreaded day exactly 4 months ago I took Cam to the vet for the last time. Not knowing he would never come home again. He left me the next morning at 3:00 am. April 28th. What a heartache.I haven't been able yet to say goodbye to you my Cam Man. Goodbye is too final. I never want to say goodbye to you.
Cam was deaf and what he lacked in hearing he made up in a totally different "sense". He had a seventh sense that allowed him to know just how you felt. A sympathetic sense, a loving sense. He didn't play all that often but when he did he always loved to play with his favorite tennis ball. It was pink. He never played with any of the others, just the pink one.
His fur brothers were Lenny, Grissom and Chance. All Boxers. Lenny was very close to Cam (because Cam taught him everything) and when he saw Cam lifeless on the living room floor, he cried so hard and looked at us. He knew Cam was gone, yet he mourned his favorite furbrother and best friend. Cam was the guardian of us all including all his furbrothers. When Lenny would act too wild and want all the attention from me, Cam would silently go over to Lenny, pick up his front paw and 'bat' Lenny in the face for acting so obniouxious. Then Lenny would settle so then it gave Cam the chance to get the attention. Which he did.
Cam loved to sit in the recliner and look out the front window and just watch. We only allowed him because after all he was the "Master Cam". My son Casey said if he could talk, he would definitely have a British accent. I agree. I'm missing you so much my "Master Cam", the thinker. I love you and miss you, Mom.
8/30/13 I love you Cam, I miss you so much!
9/2/13 I'm missing you so much my little Cam Man. We're going to grandma's now for a visit without you this time. You always got to go with us because you were so good over there. You loved all the attention she gave you. You always kept an eye on me though to make sure I didn't ever leave without you. I would never do that. I gave her a picture of you so she could remember you also. She put it in her living room. She misses you too. I hope you're having a good and playful day. I love you, my little gentle Cam. I wish you would come back to me. I'm still having such a hard time without you. You are the most loving dog! I love you so much, mom.
9/6/13 Oh, my dearest Cam, I was out walking this morning, the sun was out but it was also raining. I looked up and saw the most beautiful rainbow which stretched across the sky, SO BEAUTIFUL! I knew you were with me. Then another rainbow appeared on top of that rainbow, so there were two huge rainbows. I prayed that I could meet you right then and there and walk with you and the Lord in heaven. What a gift to see them in the early morning hours. You were with me I know. I was with your furbrother Chance. You know how excitable he is. Nothing like you. I just had to tell you. It was so beautiful, but it makes me miss you more. I am missing you so much, my Cam man. I pray for you. My heart has a huge hole. I want you back so much. At least there is no more pain for you. I hope you are happy. Love, Mom.
9/9/13 Hello Cam! I'm missing you. Thank you for the gift of those rainbows the other day. I know you were close by. Still I wish you were back. I wish I could hold you and pet you and take you for walks again. I'd never leave you. I'm going to visit your boy Casey in Tennessee pretty soon. He's the one who brought you home. He loves you so much too and he misses you also very much. I will miss you when I'm gone, but I know you will be with me. I wish you were going with me. You were the best passenger. I remember when you drove with us all the way to Kentucky to see your boy graduate from army basic training. It was a very long trip for you but you were just so laid back. You were just happy to be able to be with your people. You always loved to sit on my lap whether we were in the car, in front of the computer or in the living room. That's where you rode back home on, my lap, all the way back to Minnesota. I didn't mind one bit, I alway loved it when you got comfy on my lap. You were just a big, cute lap dog at heart. You loved it. Thanks for being in my life, you made it way, way better. I just wish you were back. Please come back. My little boxer boy, Missing you and loving you lots and lots, love mom.
9/22/13 Hello, my Cam man. I love you so much and miss you. Just got back from TN yesterday from visiting your boy, Casey. I wish I could have brought you with. He still misses you. I brought with me a small album of pictures of you for him. We looked at them together and he cried. He misses you. He didn't get to see you in over a year, and then you left. You were special. He knew it, I knew it. He mourned your loss so much, as I did. I need you back my Cam man. Today is Sunday, the day you died, exactly 21 weeks ago. I live through it every weekend. My heart breaks over again. I think of you. I walk with you. I talk to you. But you're not here. My sweet little boxer boy where are you right now? I see you excited to go for a walk, I see your half spins in the air when you'd see me come home. I see your beautiful blue eye and your white little face. I see your 'stub' tail. I see how brave you are. I see how proud you are and how proud I am of you. I see your little black nose and your cute little tongue which kind of stuck out just a little when you were thinking or sleeping. That's how you left me, with that cute little face with that little tongue sticking out just a little between your lips. There will never be another like you. What manners you had, a true gentleman. Unconditional. Compassionate. Protective. Loving. Companion. Friend. God sure knew what He was doing when he made you. When he made all dogs. Man's best friend. You are forever faithful, forever true, better than alot of people I know. We could all learn from our dear furry friends, especially you my dearest Cam. Send me a sign once more. I pray for you and think about you always. You are forever my faithful and best friend ever! Missing you and loving you still . . . forever! Love always, Mom
9/26/13 I'm missing you Cam. My heart is hurting. My tears are flowing. Are you there, my Cam. I miss you so much! I can't understand why you had to leave me. I am so heartbroken. I need you so much right now. I'm going through a very difficult time. You were always there. Now there's no one. It'll be 5 months in a day or so since you left me. 5 long, lonely months. I pray for you, my dearest Cam. I will always forever pray for you and love you. Miss you so, so much. Love, Mom
9/28/14 My dear Cam, are you there? Today it's been 5 months since you left. My heart is aching, empty without you. I need you now, Cam. You were always there for me, and I need you now. There's no one else. You always helped me, you always got me through the tough times. I'm having another tough time, and you're not here. How did you always seem to know? You always knew when I needed that extra boost of love. Then you'd be right by my side. God sure knew what He was doing when he made you. The perfect example of man's best friend. I wish everyone could have met you, they all would have fell in love with you too. I miss you my sweet boxer boy. Please come back. It's not the same without you. Fill my heart again. You're still the top dog! Always. I want to see you again. I will always be waiting. I miss you and love you so much. Loving you always . . . . Mom
10/6/13 Hello Cam! How's my boy? Oh, my dear Cam, Sundays used to be my favorite day of the week, now it's the least because it's the day you left me. Every Sunday I go through what happened and it seems like it was today. I don't know why you had to leave. You had so much more to offer and to give. And I have so much more love to give you! I wish people could be more like you. Then people would be more kind and loving to eachother, more patient, more compassionate, less selfish. There would be unconditional love. Love conquers all things, and you, dear Cam conquered and softened many, many hearts in your short life! Thank you! You brought lots of love to the elderly as well as joy to little children who seemed to flock to you. You brought many smiles and happiness. Now I have so many tears because you left. You are definitely a "heart" dog, because you managed to conquer mine. You brought so much happiness and love to me. I miss you every day, every moment! I need you my little Cam man, right now. Can you hear me? Thanks for being the best dog in the whole world. Thanks for coming into my life. Thanks for letting me love you. You are so special. I will always love you, and I pray that we will be united once again. Are you there? Know that I'm there waiting. Tell Lily hi for me. God bless you my little 'best' friend. Missing you and loving you very, very much. Love, you mom. I love you forever!
10/13/13 Hello Cam Man! How are you my little bud? I miss you and love you! You know that, don't you? You know I will always love you and never forget you. You are always on my mind. It's been 24 lonely weeks, my little man. How can time go so quickly, yet so slowly. How can it be that long? The longer it gets, the more I lose hope. I want you back again. I was talking to "uncle" Steve today. He lost his Ernhart 3 weeks before you left me. I cried when Ernhart left, I wouldn't have ever guessed that you'd follow him so closely. What a sad day. We reminised about you and Ernhart. We cried. We talked about how faithful you and Ernhart are. I told Steve about your residency here at Rainbow Bridge. How it helps me to cope with you leaving. My dearest Cam, everyone I talk to about you has a beautiful memory of you. Something special you left them. Everyone loved you! Where are you now my Cam? I look up at the stars on my early morning walks, and I think of you. I look for the brightest, and I know you are there, shining down on me and I feel your presence. You are the brightest star! Still I wish you were at my side once more! Just to see your sweet face once more. To throw your pink tennis ball, and let you chase the laser light pointer once more. Just to see it come out of the cupboard made you light up! Oh if I could have those happy times with you again. Do you hear me? Are you there? I can't believe it's almost 6 months, my little dog. It hurts me so. Know that I'm always with you, Cam. You are part of me and always will be. You are my protector and my Knight, my "Master Cam Man". I pray for you and love you very much. I love you again and again and again, always and forever and ever! - Mom -
10/27/13 Hello, My Cam. How are you doing? I miss you very, very MUCH! It's still so hard without you, my little man. Thanksgiving and Christmas will be coming up soon. Christmas is only 8 weeks away. I want you to celebrate with us again. I want you to be here again. It's been 26 weeks now, over 6 months. I don't understand why you left. I never will I guess. I will always remember you every day. Every time I take a walk, every time I come home or feed the other dogs. Every time I go to bed. You are always the last one I think about before I fall asleep. Last week I wrote down some things on paper for you. I will continue to do that. I have some things I can only tell you. You are still my confidant. My most trusted and best friend. Are you having fun? Are you still waiting for me? Do you watch for me? Oh, if only I had you back, I'd never let you go, ever! I would never trust you with anyone. I would never let you out of my sight. If only you were back. Things would be alot better around here. Your watchful eye is missed. You are truly the best. I will be waiting for you to come get me. Please send me a sign. I love you my little boxer boy. I miss you so much! God bless you and I pray for you. Loving you always, Mom
P.S. It's getting colder now, I know you didn't like the colder weather, but you still always wanted to go for your walks. I go in memory of you, even if it's cold. Because you loved to go. So I will always go too. My favorite little boy. Hope to see you soon.
11/02/13 Hello my little man. How are you? I am really sad. I'm missing you more now than ever. I just read an article on the internet about signs you should never ignore in identifying pet emergencies and one of the signs was difficulty in breathing. There were times when you were panting and panting and they said that this is the most severe and frightening from of pain. I'm so sorry I didn't bring you in when you did that. I'm sure you must have been in so much pain and very frightened. I'm so sorry I didn't do more for you. I wish I could have those last few days with you again, maybe it would have turned out differently. Maybe you could've lived longer. Maybe I could've been there for you. Oh my poor Cam man. You were so brave and you handled it like a hero. You are my hero. I wish you were back. I need you so much right now. I want to do something. But I can't. I don't know why God had to take you away from me. I don't know. Where are you now? You are the calm one, always so peaceful. Thank you for blessing me with the time I did have with you. You walked into our lives so gallantly, a perfect charmer and confidant. I fell in love with you immediately. That was the beginning of a great friendship. You respected everyone, and everyone respected you. You were more human than dog. I wish you were back. I love you and miss you my dearest lap dog. My dearest Cam Man. Remember me and I can't wait til we are united again. I can't wait to see your little boxer wiggle and your stub tail. I can't wait for your 1/2 circle jumps in the air which you did when you saw that I was home. You are the perfect dog forever. I pray really hard I will see you. It will definitely be the happiest reunion. Missing you, and loving you, Mom.
11/6/13 Hi Cam! You'll never guess what I found, finally. I have been trying to figure out where your laser pointer (light) went to. The one you loved to chase and had so much fun with. I finally found it and I will keep it forever. I automatically turned it on and pointed it to the floor. I wanted so bad for you to see it and chase it again. You would chase it forever if you could. I would have to stop otherwise you'd probably have a heartattack. You'd probably chase it until you dropped. You loved it so much! Anyway I thought I would try pointing it at the floor. Just in case, but to no avail. I guess wishes don't come true. My biggest wish is to see you again. I pray it will happen. That laser light was a Christmas present for you a couple of years ago or so. It was your all time favorite! Well I just had to tell you I found it. I'll keep it by me forever. I still watch for you. I'm still waiting for you. Missing you bunches again. I love you my Little Cam Man. Praying for you always, -mom-
11/10/13 Hello My Cam Man. How's my favorite boy? I've been thinking about you all the time now. I can't get my mind off you. You made me laugh and now I cry for you. It's been 28 long weeks since you left me. How can that be? I'm dreading the holidays coming up. You always liked to have turkey scraps and turkey gravy. You always waited patiently though until it was all split up between you and your fur brothers. Christmas will NOT be the same ever without you. I bought a special ornament to put your picture in it in remembrance of you. But how can that ever suffice? How can just a picture (no matter how cute) ever be the same as you being here. I pray you will be home for Christmas. I can wish really hard and pray really hard. I miss your snoring little buddy. Sometimes you could hear it throughout the house. I could even hear it upstairs. But I didn't care. It was somehow soothing to me. I cried again this morning thinking of you on my walk with Chance.I still can't go on the same streets that I walked on with you.I just can't. Not without you.Because then I REALLY can't stop crying.I know, I tried walking the same path and it just didn't work.You are so special to me.I need you, Master Cam.I still can't put any of your things away.I sleep with your little Lambchop. You would always rest your sweet little Boxer head on it and go to sleep. Now I rest with it also, knowing that you had your head there,now it rests near my head. I'm still working on the kitchen.Remember I started re-doing it almost two years ago? Because of my depression and stuff I never could finish. Now I'm getting better and I'll try to finish in time for Thanksgiving for you.You'll have your own special spot in the kitchen. A Memorial just for you.You will always be there with me there. Whether I'm baking Christmas Cookies, or making a meal. I think I spend most of my time there. So that's where you'll be too.I know you'll be there. Waiting so patiently.I want to take you for a walk, dear Cam. Please come home.I love your little face, your little walk,I miss everything about you. I miss you and Love you so much.Take care my little man, take care.I wait for you. You wait for me.Are you there my sweet boy?I pray for you always.God bless you my sweet little white boxer.Please look for me with your beautiful blue eye that would look right through to my heart. God bless you, Cam . . . . Love, Mom. I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
11/11/13 Missing you always, my Cam Man. I'm thinking and praying we'll be together soon. My Master Cam.
11/17/13 How's my little Man? I keep praying really hard that I'll see you. That you'll come back. It's still so very hard for me to believe that you're gone. So hard to accept. I just can't right now. You are alive in my heart, your sweet face is etched in my soul.Never to be removed.I really want to be with you again. Oh, I wish the time would slow down, but each day just keeps coming, faster and faster.You were here by my side or resting on the bed at this time last year.You had no worries, no pain.You were so happy. Never could I have imagined that in 5 short months from this time last year, you would have left. Never! I keep re-living the last day.What happened, what you did, how you were suffering.The last time I saw you.Oh how I wish I were there again.To live it over,and to be with you.To be there for you.You are the best dog.You weren't finished here.You had so much more to do.You are simply the best in the world.My good and faithful friend you made so many people happy.You touched so many lives.You knew how to warm up to everyone.You are everyone's friend.You'd just slowly go up to everyone,even those you'd never met yet and sit down close to them, in fact on their foot,very gently,so they would notice you and pet you.You were always very gentle with everyone. That's what everyone remembers.You'd want to be friends with everyone. You loved people. What a special boy you are.There's a special place in heaven for you,I'm sure. You made everyone so happy. I wish you'd come home to me. Please stop the time. Or better yet, turn back the time to when you were here. I don't know why God did this. I bet He wanted the perfect dog for himself. I miss you my boy. 29 weeks is a very long time.I don't want it to go so fast.I just want one thing.I'd be so happy if my 'one thing' would come true.That is to have you again by my side.Never to leave me.My good and faithful friend.Always and forever. Are you listening? Are you there? I love you my Cam Man.I'm missing you still. So terribly.My perfect little 'watch' dog. My perfect and loving companion. God bless you my boy, Loving you always and forever . . . Mom . . . Nobody will and could ever know how much I miss you...
11/24/2013 - Hi Cam. I can't believe it's going to be Thanksgiving in 4 short days. Oh Cam, it's going to be so hard. I'm dreading the holidays this year. I wish you were here. I'm going to save you some turkey and stuffing. I'll put it in the freezer like I did with your ice cream that I saved for you when you got home from the vet. Except you never came home to eat it. You left me. You fell asleep forever there,that terrible night that I will never forget. It's already 30 whole weeks since you left. I count every day without you. It'll be 7 long months on Thanksgiving day. There's alot to be thankful, but it won't be the same for me. It will just never be the same again. I'm already crying again. It seems like the tears never stop sometimes. I love you more than ever and miss you so very much. You are and always will be so faithful to me. Can you please show me a sign? Like you did a couple months ago or so, the double rainbows? I wish the time would stop because the faster it goes, the longer that you've been gone. I want to keep thinking of you in the present not in the past. The longer it is the harder it gets. Oh my little man, how I miss you. Do you miss me? I know you do. I know you would want to be with me again. When I meet you again I will run to you so quickly and I know you will run to me as fast as those sweet little legs can carry you. You'll do your little half circle spins in the air because you'll be so happy. Then I will never let you go. I am so thankful that you came into my life. I will always remember that day you first came. You were sitting in Casey's front seat just like a person. My little navigator. You sat up so straight and perfect looking out the windsheild. Then when Casey brought you in, I fell in love with you instantly. That's just how you were/are you just had the personality to just go up to anyone and you had a way of just getting into their heart. Everyone loved you, my little boy, Everyone! I'm working really hard to finish the kitchen for you before Thanksgiving. It's just for you. Please help me. Please give me a sign. It's all for you. It's going to look really nice. So, my little navigator, you always had to sit in the front seat or in someone's lap in the front seat so you could navigate. From that first day when you found your forever home with us, you've been my navigator. You always will be. I can't wait to see you. God bless you, my little furangel, Mommy loves you and misses you. You are with me in my heart forever. Loving you, Mom. Hugs and kisses forever!!!!
11/30/13 Hello, my Cam man! Happy Thanksgiving. Sorry I'm late. We had Thanksgiving with grandma and Jesse was here.We had an accident, that's why I couldn't write to you on Thanksgiving day. Grandma fell down on the kitchen floor and she broke her hip.I'm sure you probably saw it from where you are. She was in so much pain. We had to call the paramedics and she had to go to the hospital. She finally had surgery today.It was an accident, but I can't help to feel that it was my fault.We had Chance out and he seemed fine the whole day. Then when grandma was getting ready to go, she started to pet Chance on his head and he all of a sudden lunged at her, she fell back right on her hip and fractured it.I knew Chance was weird like that, I should have put him in the bedroom for the day. Now grandma is in the hospital.She might not even be able to go home.She was so independant.I feel so badly.I'm saving you some turkey and dressing and will put it in the freezer for you.
Guess what? I finished what I wanted to finish in the kitchen for you. I set up a memorial for you there. I set aside a special place in the kitchen, painted it a nice shade of yellow and put your ashes on a beatiful wooden stand as well as some pictures, flowering plants and a beautiful plaque on the wall. I finished re-doing the kitchen just for you.I made it, it was hard, but I finished it the eve of Thanksgiving...You are simply the best, Cam.I wish you were here to see it.But then I'd never let you go. Ever.I hope you can see it from where you are.I hope you can see me.I wish I could see you.
I am missing you so much...I love you so much. God bless you my little boxer boy, I love you,*****Mom****
12/6/13 Only 25 days left in this year. I can't believe it. You've been gone now my little Cam for almost 32 weeks! I love the memorial I set up for you. I can visit you there everyday. See your beautiful face. Read the memorial I gave you, a special prayer.You are part of this house, a part of this family and you always will be here in spirit.I'm missing you so much right now my Cam Man.How I wish you were here beside me again. To comfort me. To sit next to me. I wouldn't have to feel so alone then. Now that you left I need someone else. I have to trust that whoever God gives to me or has given to me is the one. You know what I'm talking about, don't you my little man? As I trusted you, I need to trust someone else. Oh my heart grieves for you! I just can't accept it yet that you're gone. I keep thinking that maybe a miracle will happen and I'll be able to have you back. I need you Cam. Oh how I wish the time would stop. I don't want it to go on, because the more the days pass, the more time you've been gone from me. Only you can know how much you meant to me now. Oh, you are the best dog, I don't know why God had to take you from me so soon. You were the only one of our 4 dogs that I could take to Petco. Remember? Everyone loved you there and always stopped to pet you and love you. Remember we got that Boxer calendar every year for Dad for Christmas? I still have to go there for this year but you're not going to come this time. You have to be there in spirit. I remember when I took you on walks, so many people would stop to admire you. Even policemen on two separate occasions.Once during the early evening,when a policeman was sitting in his squad car by the park.I though I did something because he was driving over to me.He just wanted to come over to see you!He asked about you, my little man. He thought you were gorgeous!The other time was when I was walking you around 5 o'clock in the morning and there was a policeman parked at a store parking lot watching to see if anyone went thru the traffic light there. He saw me, and again I was concerned.He got out of his squad car and came over to us. He just wanted to see you of course, and asked to pet you.Which of course I said 'yes' to.You sat down on his feet, and of course he fell in love with you too.That was the way you "broke the ice", when you would sit gently on someone's feet to make them feel comfortable with you.Every where I'd go people just loved you. One time at the vet, someone wanted to take you home with them.Of course that wouldn't have never been possible. You were/are and always will be admired and loved. I'm hurting really bad right now, I need to be alone alot so I can remember you, so I can grieve. I need it my Cam Man. I am in need of healing. The healing only you can give. Please help me. Be there for me again my Cam. I love you and miss you forever!!! OOOOO*********OOOOOOOO************* many hugs and kisses are going your way my little boy. I'm missing you. I want to be with you once more. God bless you my little dog, I'm praying for you. I love you. . . . . so much . . . . -Mom-
12/26/13 Hello my Cam Man. Merry Christmas, my dearest friend! You are my dearest friend and I miss you so! Don't worry, I didn't forget. You've been with me in my heart, in my head. Grandma had a stroke a week ago this past Monday. She's been through alot, with that fractured hip and all. I know you could have helped her get better just by being there. That's where all my time has been lately, with her. She was able to go home, only if she could have 24/7 care.That's why I've been so busy, trying to organize a schedule, etc. She's having in-home nursing care.She's getting better though, so don't worry. Oh, do I ever miss you.
Christmas Eve, we just had a quiet evening at home. Dad, Jesse, myself, and of course your furbrothers, Lenny, Grissom and Chance. We all missed you. Wasn't able to decorate this year at all because of Grandma. Just didn't have time. But Christmas isn't all about decorating anyway. Christmas still came whether we decorated or not.This year Grandma was our Christmas.We served Jesus this Christmas, by serving Grandma. We still had family and our faithful companions. Except you were missing. I bought you some presents, I opened them for you and they are waiting for you. Some dog treats and a brand new squeaky tennis ball. Not as good of course as your pink one, but I thought you might like it anyway. I know you can't hear it squeak, but I think you knew when things squeaked somehow, because they were a 'little' different. I waited for you, I wanted you back. It wasn't the same without you. It just seems like everything has changed since you left.Merry Christmas my sweet little boxer boy!Wherever you are I hope you had the best one.I hope you could look down and see us.We didn't forget you.Lenny still misses you. He sleeps with Grissom now. I wish so much that you were back. I could've brought you to Grandma's house everyday because you would've helped her get on her feet again quicker. You are such a gentle little giant. Everyone loves you. You are the best in the world! I gave Jesse (and Casey when I can send him one,that is) a beautiful 8x10 picture of you with poem,"A Blessing in Disguise" written in it.It is beautiful. Jesse loved it.I just have to send one to your 'boy' in Tennessee.He didn't get to come home for Christmas.Instead,he was very sick with the flu,102 temp.Was pretty miserable.We all missed you.Please come home.
I pray everyday for you.I pray during my Mass,and give you to God on the paten,that he'll take care of you.Or that he will let me be with you again. Soon. I know God will bring everything that makes one happy or love more to heaven and that's what you did for me. You made me happy and you loved me unconditionally. I love you too,my sweet little boy.It's been almost a whole year since we took that picture of you in the recliner in the living room on New Year's Day.You are such a handsome galute! Time is going so quickly. I don't even want to think about it because that means that you've been gone from me too long and I can't bear it.Why did you have to leave?I ask God so often.I don't know why He had to take you away from me.I needed you so much! I still need you.Merry Christmas again,my little friend.I am missing you so very much! Words cannot ever come close to how my heart feels without you.You are my sunshine in my day. You lived for me. Now it's so hard to live without you.Merry Christmas,my little blue-eyed boy.I can't wait to see you again.It'll be Christmas once more.Every day will be Christmas,because I'll have the best present back. That's you. You're the best present I've ever had.A true blessing and I'm so thankful that you came to us. Our watchful guardian.A perfect sentinal.Always keeping one eye on us to make sure we were all ok. You are the best in the world! I'm still waiting for you and I always will.I am making a journal,I have to finish it.I don't think it will ever be finished though, because there will always be something to write about for you and to you.My heart is there for you.I love you and want you back. Please come home my sweet protector and friend.I need and want another rainbow.You are the rainbow in my life and in my heart. Show me a rainbow.I wish you could tell me all about how you are and what you are doing,I want to know so bad.Just to see you and hear you once more.Oh,how I am missing you!I am giving you a million hugs and kisses ***********OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO******************************OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO******
my little friend, wishing you were in my arms again. Loving you so much still. Forever and forever in my heart, my bestest friend.God bless you and Merry Christmas once more,my faithful and forever friend. Missing you bunches and bunches! Love you so, so, so, so much,-----Mom
01/04/14 A new year!I can't believe it.Today hasn't been the best day for me, Cam.I've been remembering you and I'm not doing too well.The tears are flowing.Can't stop them.Trying to remember the good days that I had with you,but that makes me miss you even more.I wish you were here with me right now, Cam.I'm trying to do better, but as soon as I do a little bit,something always happens and I just end up where I was at the beginning. You are the best dog ever! The best consoler.You were there when I needed you. When the best friend I thought I had rejected me over and over.You took the place of that friend and you never once rejected me, you never once abandoned me. You were my rock when the "rock" I thought I had rejected the very person I was.Who I still am.You were always there.You never let me down.I am so grateful to you and to God for putting you in my life.I just don't understand though, why He took you away so soon.Still have to work that one through,I guess.Pretty soon it'll be a whole year that you've left me.It's already been over 8 months(36 weeks tomorrow).Time is going too fast.I can't deal with that.You were the strong one,the solid one.I thought I was,but I'm mistaken.I wish you were back. It's just that there's alot to deal with in my life right now, and when the one you relied on is gone(you),it's hard to deal with it on your own.You were the one that was always there. I can't wait to see you again. Lenny still misses you too, your favorite fur brother.He's settled down alot since you left.He still gets wild, but not as much.Pretty soon Lisa will come over to visit,except you won't be here.She adored you. Remember her?She's the one who brought Grissom to live with us.She's helped us so much.Remember the walks we took with her around the park with Grissom.Of course you were perfect,Grissom had to be watched so he wouldn't get anyone.There was a softball tournament going on so there were alot of people around.You are a true gentleman with everyone.You never jumped up on anyone or barked or growled or anything.You just sat down so perfectly and let everyone pet you. Everyone loved you. . .you always made people feel comfortable and happy.I love you,Cam.My brave little boxer boy.
Chance is trying his best to fill your place,he is a good dog, too, but he's not you.He's pretty wild and crazy, but loveable.Sometimes he's very naughty.He acts too much like a "dog".You, on the other hand had a heart, just like a person,it seemed.You just had something about you that made you almost human. It was your heart, you are a 'heart' dog.A dog that cared about your people. Thank you Cam for being such a blessing.Here is the poem/prayer that I put on my kitchen wall with the picture of you on it. It's called, "A Blessing in Disguise"
Cam, you were a blessing in disguise. You were the source and sum of unconditional love.
You were always there, happy to see us. You were never disappointed in us and our failings.
You never, never lost your capacity for devotion.Though the time with you passed all too
quickly, you helped make out house into a home and our family grew in grace under your
gentle gaze. You passed away so very suddenly in your sleep. We cried with aching hearts for
you, who offered love to all. May your passage into eternal slumber, remind us of our
certain passage to eternal life. You are free now, romping in a golden land where the light
in your step remains. You are in God's care. I pray we will meet again, with hugs, tears
and kisses, walking again once more, this time in eternity. May you rest in peace. Loving
you always. Amen.
God bless you dearest Cam, happy New Year. Loving you always, 'mom' (many, many hugs and kisses to you)
01/19/14 Wanting to say hello to you my 'Master' Cam. Half way through January already.I can't believe the time flies so fast.Without you here by my side, it's like a darkness that fills my heart.You took such a huge part of me with you. I'm loving you and missing you so much.It's been 38 long weeks since you left, I can hardly believe it.Except for instead of getting better, it just keeps getting worse.I still see you like it was yesterday.I see your pain, your suffering. I want to be with you again.I want to ease your pain.I want to be with you as you would be for me.You are the best, simply the best!I can't wait to see you again, running to me as fast as your legs can carry you and then jumping into my arms.So excited. That's what I wait for.I wait for your boxer wiggles, your half spins in the air. Your steady gaze that looks right through me.I miss the way you watched over me with that gentle gaze.The gentle protection which you gave me.I miss your love.Your walk.The way you looked at me to say everything was ok. I pray that it will be like that again,with you by my side.I'm truly missing you, my sweet companion.I love you so much.Please always remember me.I will alway remember you.It still hurts,my little boxer.It just never leaves.I love you forever.My true and gentle friend.My best friend.
Love, kisses and hugs to you forever! Loving you bunches and bunches, Mom
01/27/14 Hello, my precious, Master Cam!I've been thinking of you almost every moment.There's so many memories I have of you.It seems like no matter where I go,you've either been there with me on a walk or in the car.You are so special.You were more like a person.If you could have gone with me to the store, or to Church or to the doctor or where ever,you would have just followed me in and out.If I sat down, you would have sat down right next to me.You would have waited patient right by my side.Just like a person.And sometimes when you would be in the lead, you would always look back at me to see if I was coming.You'd wait for me or wait for a signal or a 'look' or confirmation from me to keep going, but you never ever went too far from my side.The only reason why you had a leash is because I was scared that maybe you might not see or hear a car, or bike,etc. and you might get hit.Because you were deaf.You didn't act like it, that's for sure.You knew every expression on my face and you knew what to do.Oh,what a perfect dog you are.I still need you.You've been gone now almost 9 months.Oh how can that be? It seems just like yesterday.It also feels like it was yesterday.I see your sweet little face at the vet after you left.I see it when I close my eyes.I see it when I look at the other dogs.I see it now.How special you are my little white,boxer boy. There will never be another like you.My tears keep flowing,Cam.I wish you were here.
I got a special ring to remember you by.It's sterling silver, and has a rose on each end.I planted a beautiful yellow rose bush in your garden I made for you.You were taken from me the last time with roses by your side. You are a perfect rose...But remember, in the winter, far below the bitter snow,lies a seed that with the spring time becomes a rose.You are that rose and I will remember you always.I still want you to come back and I still pray for that.It's still hard for me to accept that you are gone.I just can't yet.I love you so much,my Cam Man!
I just let Chance Boxer out for his morning 'outing',I looked at the thermometer and it read -18, pretty cold here this morning.I know you still would have wanted to go for a walk, but the way the temperatures have been lately,we would be staying inside.Even if I put two sweater-coats on you.It's been a cold one, but we've had cold ones before and we've always lived through them.My birthday is in three days.I remember last year was the worst birthday of my life because my best friend hurt me so bad! But you were there.Now it's almost here again and this birthday will be pretty bad also,just because you aren't here this year.I am really missing you still and I always will.I hope you're happy and even more perfect than you were when you were with me.There wasn't that much more to make you perfect,only may your deafness and the pain you endured.Now you can hear me, and you are not in pain.Remember me my little boy,and come back to me.Meet me soon please.I will be back soon.Until then keep me in you "big" heart.Loving you and missing you so much, Mom(Hugs & kisses)
February 9, 2014 Hello,my sweet boxer boy! I am at such a loss! It seems like I've been at a loss alot lately, my good friend.I'm at a loss of words to tell you what's inside.I read a good book today,a sad book, called "Good dog.Stay."It's about the lessons you can learn by watching your dog.By learning from him: to roll with the punches, to take things as they come,to measure yourself not in terms of the past or the future but of the present.You, dear friend taught me such valuable lessons.You never let anything unravel you, you are always calm, never anxious.You never really got excited,except when I would come home, then you'd do your half circles in the air.Also, when you got to go with me on car rides and walks,but even then you would just calmly walk up to me, and walk by my side to the car, or sit down quietly until I put your leash on.Oh, you are the best. You never let anything worry you, you were always calm and collected.Yet you had an 'air' of eloquence and inner strength(as well as outer strength) about you. Your face is gentle and handsome.I remember your sweet face in my head.I will always remember how you looked. I wish that I could have given you more.Yet you were satisfyed by just being there for me always.You just cared about your people.
I never want to let you go,my dear boxer boy.The young children as well as the old used to gather and/or crowd around you.You are everyone's friend.Everyone loves you.I wish I'd known you were hurting.I wish I'd known what was wrong with you.I wish I'd never brought you to the vet I brought you to.I would've brought you to Dr. Emma.She knew you well and loved you.She would've been so much better.I'm never going to bring your brothers there again.They have no heart there.They didn't even explain just how bad it was. Then before I knew it they called with the worst news I could possibly hear.Oh, what a beautiful life and what a beautiful dog you were/are.And to think it's already been almost ten months since you left me.I wish I could back up time so I could see you again.Then it would be different.I'm sure.
Now I want you to take me for a walk.Meet me now.I just want to see you so badly.Oh, my sweet, sweet boxer boy.I miss you and love you so, so, so much!You are the best and I will always love you. God bless you Cam man.I'm praying you will come back.I'm praying we will be together soon. Love, -Mom-
February 21, 2014 I am missing you so much Cam.I remember you how you always had your mind made up just like you thought about it and planned it. (I know that's what you did.)Sometimes it was like you knew it before I did.I think that was your '7th sense'.You are such an intelligent boy.You knew so much more than your fur brothers.I guess that's why you were the 'head of the pack' so to speak.They knew it,yet you led them so gently.So patiently.We all miss you so much here.Me especially!There's so many places we've been together, dear Cam,but now I go there alone,or I drive by them alone, without you.It brings back so many beautiful memories of you.There's a reminder of you in almost everything I do. It's so hard because when I think of you and the happy times we shared, I cry. I mourn. I grieve. I don't understand why God took you so soon.I know it was because he wanted you for himself.You are the bestest dog ever!When anyone ever met you,they'd fall in love with you instantly.You had a beautiful, gentle way about making everyone comfortable around you, and making everyone feel loved.I want to go on more adventures with you now.It's time now, Cam.I've really had enough of this world, you know.I want to meet you,so you can jump into my arms and I'll never let you go.We'll be inseparable once more, but even more so.Know that you are loved so, so much, my sweet Cam.As much as my heart can love,I will love you.Forever and ever.Please send me a sign.Remember,I will wait for you, please wait for me.God bless you my little white boxer boy.I'm praying for you.I miss you and love you so MUCH! Hugs and kisses for you,love, Mom.
Feb. 21,'14 I love you Cam!!!!!!!! I am missing so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
February 23, Sunday, 2014 Missing you so much.Things aren't getting any easier my sweet boxer boy.It's been 43 weeks to the day since you left me.Please look down on me and give me a smile. I'm really needing it right now, my boy.You are simply the best.You are a perfect little angel sent from heaven.Loving you so much my "little man".Love, kisses and hugs to you forever and ever, my friend, Love -Mom- P.S. My sweetie, there's only 3 1/2 weeks til spring, then I can work in your garden.I can go for walks again. Please walk with me again,my little friend.God bless you.
March 16th, 2014 Hello my Cam Man.Sorry I haven't written to you for a while.I've been putting it off, because as the anniversary of your leaving is coming so close, it hurts to think that you've been gone for so long.I just don't want to think about it.It's not that I haven't been thinking about you, because I have,almost constantly.I just can't believe it'll be a year already at the end of next month. I am still hoping and praying that I'll see your sweet little face under the swinging doors,waiting for me again, ready to go for another walk. You always waited so patiently.You always were there.Oh, I wish you were back again.I wish I could have been with you when you left.Oh, Cam, it's so hard for me right now.I know there'll never be another dog like you.You were so different.It's so unexplainable, but from the first minute you walked in our door, you knew and I knew you belonged.You came to me for a reason.You won my heart immediately. You won everyone's heart immediately.There was something in you that knew that you were needed in our home.You are and always will be my guardian angel dog.You came all the way from Louisiana, from hurricane Katrina I heard, and so you had a couple, 2 or maybe 3 homes before ours.Then Casey brought you home and it was like,the moment you stepped in the door we all knew that you were meant to stay,that you were ours and that we were yours. You added sunshine and hope into our home. You welcomed everyone and understood everyone's feelings.All you had to do was look at them.You had a very sympathetic heart.You had a huge heart just for loving and caring.You loved me and cared for me so much.That's why when you left, you left such a huge hole in my heart.How did you know, my little man?Who ever had you 1st must have loved you tremendously.You were so perfect and did everything right away.Even though you were deaf.You knew.You were so obedient.Oh, my dearest Cam,you put so much hope in my life.You kept me going.Now sometimes I don't know what to do.There's nobody.I miss you terribly.I've made so many mistakes in my life,but I know the best decision I made was to give you a home with us.I can just see you, sitting so perfectly in the front seat of Casey's car,just like a person.Just like you belonged there.And then when you walked in the door, you, in your laid back way just knew it was home.You were the best boy.Why did you have to leave so soon?I'm so sorry I wasn't there.I'm so sorry I didn't get to be with you when you needed me most.I'm so sorry I didn't get to say goodbye.
My dearest Cam, you were simply the best.I picture you at the feet of Jesus right now.Just like you loved to sit so close to everyone, even on their feet.I know you are there.I hope that you'll wait for me.Even though it will probably be a long time,I pray you'll be there.We might be separated now, but in eternity, there will be nothing that will separate us again.I do wish you were here right now again.You made everything right.I need you still so much.You are my rainbow,you are a blessing,and my angel.Please be with me right now.
I love you bunches, my Cam Man.Remember your mom and how she love you.I send you my love and prayers,God bless you my dearest dog, my dearest Cam!You are the best!Love,hugs and kisses to you,-- Mom.
Only 4 more days til the 1st day of spring,Our favorite times for walking.Please think of me and walk with me now.
March 31, 2014 - Hello my dearest Cam Man!Happy Spring!Yes, it's finally Spring, the snow has finally almost melted and the temperatures have been above freezing.It's our favorite time of the year now.I wish you were here to go on long walks with me.We were always inseparable.Our early morning walks were so peaceful.The stars were still out and hardly anyone was up yet.Then the sun would start peaking it's head up if it got later than usual.What a beautiful time with my best friend!Then sometimes in the evening we would go on long walks also. We'd sit at the park, watching the sun go down.Trying to forget the world.Just you and I.Oh, Cam, if you'd only come back, I'd be the happiest in the whole world!I miss you so much, my friend!Dad's been in the hospital since last Tuesday.I had to take him to the ER because his kidney stopped functioning.I know it was pretty scary for him.He finally gets to come home tomorrow.Lenny, your 'little' fur brother has been so lonely without him.Of course I haven't gotten any sleep hardly at all because of his and Grissoms crying and constantly going to the back window looking for him.He got some of his kidney function back, but so far only a quarter of it.They're not sure if it'll ever come back 100%.He does look alot better now, he really started looking bad towards last.I think if we would have waited a couple more days,it would have been really bad!
Sorry I haven't written lately.You see,it's been hard to because it's getting so close to the day you left and I don't know if I can handle it.I don't know what I'm going to do.Each day keeps coming closer and closer.I want the days to stop so it'll never happen.I just can't believe you've been gone that long, my dearest, sweet Cam.If only you'd come back. It's hard enough living and thinking about it every weekend.Now it's going to be really bad,I just don't know.I want to see another rainbow, Cam.I need to know you're there.I wish we could be together again.If you were back I wouldn't have to think about all the things that are wrong.You would be there and you'd listen,like you always did and always were there.When I was sad, happy and in between.I am so proud of you, my brave little boy.I'm proud to be your person.You were always proud to be my side.You will always be in my heart and mind.Always!It's not the same here and never will be.I remember the last day we were together.I know you must have been in so much pain. Yet you trusted in me to take care of you. I know I let you down.I should have brought you home with me.I should have been there for you.I remember you, sweet Cam.Thank you for coming into my life.Thank you for always being there.I'm so glad Casey brought you home.What a grace.Thank you God for allowing the time I had with Cam.Thank you for the best dog in the world.Watch him and keep him safe until we meet again, please.I still feel so lost without him.Allow him to be at your feet until the day we're together again.Please make it a reality.Bring him to me when the time comes.
Cam, know that I love you even more today than yesterday and less today than tomorrow.That I miss you immensely and it's still so hard to get through a day without crying and hoping that you'd one day come back to me.You took a huge part of me with you.Some day when we meet,I'll become whole again,but not until I see your sweet face again.Think of me, and always watch.I will think and pray and watch also.You are forever in my thoughts and prayers,my little guardian.I love you so much!!!Hugs and kisses to you sweet Cam.I'm thinking of you more than ever.Loving you so much,- mom -
April 4,2014 Hello, my dearest Cam.Where are you now? Oh,I don't know why you had to go, why you had to suffer.I'm missing you so much now.They say time heals.The time you've been gone hasn't healed. It just kind of gets worse. My whole life is different. I'm not the same.It seems like a very large part of me has died. Not just because you've left, although that's a huge part of it, but because of what others have done. It seems like I lost my faith, my will, because of it. I am numb. If you, dear Cam were here, I know I could keep going. Now it's just hard to get up and do the things I need to do. It kind of feels like a vacuum has sucked everything out of me sometimes. I know you could make it better, you understood me, didn't you? You had an extraordinary love inside you, I guess our hearts just clicked. I will always see your sweet face looking up at me,waiting for an answer.Watching to see what I would do next.Waiting for that silent signal from me that it was ok.That you could go with me, or just be at my side.I remember you always wanting to sit on my lap when I was at the computer.You loved to sit on my lap.I always loved it when you did.What a loving boy you are, my Cam.I treasure every second I had with you and always will.I treasure you.What an immeasurable treasure you are!All the gold and silver,diamonds,rubies and emeralds, all the money in the world could never compare or equal you.And I was so blessed to have that treasure.The treasure beyond compare!Wake up little one, come back to 'mom'.I'm waiting for you.Thank you for being there always.Thank you for being you.I'm waiting. but the time is going so fast.Almost a whole year.Thank you Cam, thank you for being the best dog ever!I miss you so, so much! I love you so,so much! God bless you Cam, my dear 'Master Cam'. Loving you always, -mom- Many hugs and kisses are going your way, sweet Cam.
April 9, 2014 Well, my beloved Cam, today is your birthday.Happy birthday my sweet fellow!Today you're 9 years old.Or should I say would have been?It's still so hard to accept that you're gone.And now it's your birthday. I know we really didn't celebrate birthdays too much,but today,I'm celebrating with the other dogs.They still miss you.I bought some really good dog treats for them (and for you too),dog cookies as a matter of fact.I will hold them for you just as I put away that ice cream for you and White Castle a whole year ago almost.Maybe some day?Actually,I don't think you'll like them,I mostly got them for the other dogs.I remember every time I took you to Petco with me they always tried to give you one of those special treats,they thought for sure would would like them.They tried different ones, but you just kind of turned your nose up at them.You didn't get too excited about treats.That wasn't you.The most important thing to you was to be with your people.To watch over them from a distance like a quiet sentinal. You were a gentle guardian.I guess the only treats that you did like was those Milk Bone basted kind and the soft, chewy kind.You weren't picky, food just wasn't that important to you.That's one of the reasons you were so different.So special.I thank Monica M. for greeting you on your birthday, she is so special and she knows how special you are.Oh, my sweet boxer, you can hear now?What is it like? Can you hear me?Do you hear the voice of Jesus?Are you lying at his feet?Does he pet you?Does he know how much I love you?And you love me? Ask him when we will be together again.Tell him that I miss you so.That I can't wait to see you,and you me.I hope you are having a good day.I prayed for you today,I asked the Lord to greet you with birthday wishes. He is most loving, so I know he will.I prayed the Chaplet of Mercy for you at the 3:00 hour.I miss you and love you my Cam Man.Happy Birthday to you.Hugs and many kisses to you, Love, -Mom-
4/28/14 1st Anniversary of your leaving me.You are forever in my heart,dearest Cam!I miss you so much!Words will never express what I feel inside right now.We will be united in spirit forever!I love you Cam Man!
6/29/14 Hello my dearest Cam!You are forever on my mind.It's been a couple months since I've written.I'm sorry, but I've been thinking about you constantly.Missing you so much.It's been 14 months since you left.The hole in my heart just seems to get bigger!The memory book I'm writting for you is almost finished.I moved your recliner to the other side of the living room,I hope you don't mind.You used to sit and watch out the window in it.It was your recliner.Happy Summer,my most lovingest boxer!Come home!I'm missing you so much! -Mom-