I remember the first day that I set eyes on you and your sisters, Isabella and Inky. I was volunteering for the local humane society. I got a call to go pick up some kittens and their mother at a house off of Classen in March 2007. I was going to foster you guys until you got big enough to adopt out. You and your sisters were just 3 or 4 weeks old and so small that you fit in the palm of my hand! You were so cute. Carmen, your mother, was less than thrilled to be living in my bathroom now. She would take you and your sisters and hide under the sink. Eventually, you all got used to me coming in and feeding you and became more comfortable with me. You were so much fun when all of you were kittens. I enjoyed watching you play with each other and your mother would often join in. I remember one night I left you out on the balcony and all 3 of you curled up on top of a box and went to sleep. Initially, I thought you were a boy and I was going to call you Butler because you were black and white. When I took you to Audrey for your shots, she said you were a female and that I should call you Buttons. So Buttons you became! After 5-6 months, it was time to adopt you and your sisters out. I remember taking you to Petsmart and leaving you up there in the cages. I didn't like that you had to live in a cage but I knew you would find a good home. You and Isabella were adopted out to a woman and her son in Yukon. I missed you terribly after you and Isabella were gone. Fortunately for me, the both of you had become so used to me that you wouldn't come out from under the bed in your new home. The woman brought you guys back and I ended up being your forever home! We were meant to be together! |
You were my best friend, Buttons. You were such a bright ray of sunshine and so full of life. You loved to run through the grass and climb trees. Lying on the warm pavement was one of your favorite things. I loved taking you and Isabella across the street to play in the grass. You and Isabella enjoyed chasing and running around with each other. I so enjoyed watching you play. You also learned that it was warm in the dryer after it had been used. You would often meow while I had the dryer on which was my cue to turn it off and let you get in and lay on your towel. Isabella liked laying in there too. You loved to get under the covers in the bed and sleep next to me. I loved how you would lay on the top of the rocking chair behind my head. I could reach back and scratch your head which you enjoyed so much. All I had to do was pat the top of the rocking chair and you would come running! You also loved chasing that laser light all over the apartment. I so much enjoyed watching you and Isabella interact and love each other. I always felt comfortable leaving you two at home alone knowing that you had each other for comfort. Isabella misses you so now.
No one can imagine how deeply I loved you. I loved you beyond words and miss you terribly. I look for you when I come home - sitting on the ledge below my apartment or waiting on the steps like you used to do. I call your name and hope to see you running across the grass to come home. But, you're not there and it breaks my heart. I haven't been able to put away your food bowls or the towel that you used to lay on.
You gave me so much comfort over the years, Buttons. All those years it was just you, me, and Isabella. I don't know what I would have done without you two in my life. You brought me so much love, joy, and contentment. I could always count on you to be happy and carefree. You blessed my life in countless ways. Thank you for loving me and being my friend.
I know in my heart that you are now running free, playing in the grass, chasing birds, and climbing trees with the angels. I know you have probably made many new friends at the Rainbow Bridge. You will never have to worry about being alone, hurt or injured again. You will always be a part of me, Buttons. I feel you walk beside me each day. You, me, and Isabella will be together again one sweet day!
I love and miss you my precious friend. 'Til we are together again!
I found a poem on the internet that reminded me of you.
I Thought of You Today
I woke early this morning, lifted the shade
to a sky overcast and gray,
No ray of sun to brighten my heart,
and I thought of you today.
The breezes of summer are no more
and have moved along on their way.
The crisp air of autumn has settled in,
and I thought of you today.
The crunch of the leaves under my feet,
I remembered how you loved to play,
chasing the leaves across the yard,
and I thought of you today.
As the daylight faded into dusk
and the shadows came to play,
I lit a candle and watched the flame dance,
and I thought of you today.
I crawled into bed, turned out the lamp
and glanced where you used to lay.
The tears came again, as they always do,
as I thought of you today.
To Buttons, my precious friend
Another poem that I found:
I stood by your bed last night,
I came to have a peep.
I saw that you were crying....
You found it hard to sleep.
I whispered to you softly,
as you brushed away a tear.
"It's me, I haven't left you.....
I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
I was close to you at breakfast.
I watched you pour the tea.
You were thinking of the many times,
your hands reached down to me.
I was with you at my grave today,
you tend it with such care.
I just want you to know that
"I am not really lying there."
I walked with you towards the house,
as you fumbled for your key,
I gently put my paw on you,
I smiled and said, "It's me."
You looked so very tired,
and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know,
that I was standing there.
You sat there very quietly, then smiled.
I think you knew...
in the stillness of that evening,
I was very close to you.
I'm here so close beside you,
so near you every day.
Believe me when I tell you,
"I never went away."
The day is over...
I smile and watch you yawn and say,
"Good night, God Bless,
I'll see you in the morning".
And when the time is right
for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you,
and we'll stand side by side.
I have so many things to show you,
there is so much to for you to see.
live your journey out.....
then come home to me.
I'm Still Here
by Darlene Freeman-Ciulla
Your heart has been heavy
since that day.
The day you thought,
I went away.
I haven't left you...
I never would.
You just can't see me,
though I wish you could.
It might ease the pain
that you feel in your heart.
The pain that you felt,
since you believed us to part.
Try and think of it this way
it might help you see.
That I am right here with you,
and will always be
That's how it is now
when you look for my face,
I'm still right beside you,
Still filling my place.
I find it to be so very sad,
that seeing and believing seem to go hand-in-hand.
The love and the loyalty,
the warmth that I gave,
You felt them,
but you believed just the same.
I walk with you now
like I walked with you then.
My pain is now gone,
and I lead once again.
My eyes always following you
wherever you roam,
Making sure you're ok,
and you're never alone.
Our time was too short
yet for me it goes on.
I won't ever leave you,
I'll never be gone.
I live in your heart
as you live in mine.
A never ending love
that continues to shine.
To Buttons, my best friend
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the star shine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I did not die.
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die.
Author - Mary Elizabeth Frye (1932)
To Buttons, my best friend
So many things, they come and go,
Like waves upon a beach,
So many things we cannot touch,
Like stars beyond our reach.
What comforts us, those things that stay,
A thing that was, as still it is,
For me, that thing was you.
Were you to me, Polaris,
By you I'd find my way,
When I was lost, you'd point me home,
In the dark before the day.
Throughout the years and all my tears,
I knew I had a friend,
Someone who cared when I was scared,
And who would me defend.
A guiding light, a trusted friend,
An anchor in the storm,
A fire bright, in the dark of night,
The flame that kept me warm.
To: Buttons, my best friend
WE HAVE A SECRET
We have a secret, you and I
that no one else shall know,
for who but I can see you lie
each night in fire glow?
And who but I can reach my hand
before we go to bed,
and feel the living warmth of you
and touch your silken head?
And only I walk woodland paths
and see ahead of me,
your small form racing with the wind
so young again, and free.
And only I can see you lay in the sun
on each blooming knoll I pass,
and when I call, no one but I
can see the bending grass.
- Author Unknown
To my precious, Buttons
I can't believe it's been a year since I last saw your bright, shiny, beautiful face. It has been a hard year without you. I became so accustomed to seeing your happy face when I came home. I miss seeing you waiting for me on the ledge below my apartment. I still call your name when I'm outside - I want to remember you running across the grass. I reach behind me when I'm sitting in the rocking chair and want to scratch your head again like I used to. I miss you meowing by the dryer - wanting to get in when it was still warm. And it breaks my heart that you're not there anymore. I still miss you so much and think of you everyday. Thanks for blessing my life in so many ways and for loving me unconditionally. You were the best friend that I've ever had. Isabella misses you too. She gets awful lonesome without you. I know you are running free now, climbing trees, chasing birds, and playing with the angels. We love and miss you, precious girl. You are forever in our hearts and I know you are close to us in spirit. You will always be a part of me. Thanks for all the feathers! I know we will be together again one sweet day!
It has been a very nice summer, so far, Buttons. I can't help but think about you when the grass is green and there is a warm breeze. Just remembering how you loved to run and play in the grass. You loved to roll around on the warm pavement - even if it was covered in dirt! I still go outside at night and call your name - hoping that you will run across the grass and come home. We would be together again...... I hope the sun is shining brightly on you today and that you are having a wonderful time. I continue to see the black and white dragon flies when I walk the trails at the park. I believe it is your way of showing me that you are near - thank you! How we love and miss you, precious girl.
I thought about you quite a bit today. The summer breeze and the cats that run around below my apartment remind me of you. I went to the park tonight and sat for awhile. I go there a lot in the evenings when it is dark and the stars are bright. I just like sitting there in the stillness. I can't help but think of you when I look into the heavens. I wonder what you may be doing and hope you are well. I wish I could see you running across the grass again to come home...... I watch videos of you and frequently browse all the pictures that I took of you and Isabella. I still miss you so much. Isabella gets really lonesome without you too. We love and miss you, Buttons!
I still love and miss you very much, Buttons! Some days it is almost too much to bear..... I try to be grateful for the time we had together but I still need to see your bright shiny face. I try to carry on the best that I can. I love you, baby girl.
Just wanted to add a poem to your memorial page that reminds me of your soaring spirit. We still love and miss you so, Buttons.
Well, Buttons, summer is about over. It is starting to get darker earlier and the wind is getting cooler. I can't believe that yet another summer has passed without you. The black and white dragonflies at the park remind me of you. I still miss you so and think about you every day. Thanks for the feathers! Isabella misses you so much too. We love and miss you, sweet girl.
Dear Buttons - I'm feeling pretty low right now. Winter is setting in and it gets dark much earlier which makes me feel not so good. I still think about and miss you everyday. You were my bright shining light each day and I miss your energy, love, and happiness. I still love and miss you so. I still haven't gotten over the day you passed. I still grieve for you with every ounce of my being. Some days it's just too much and the tears start to flow. Isabella gets so lonesome without you. Please keep close to her if you can. Please stay near me, Buttons, until my time comes also. Then we can play together again and I can pet your sweet little face. We love and miss you, baby girl.
Still miss you so much, precious girl. I've been thinking a lot about you lately. There has been a full moon lately and I look up at the sky and think of you. I know you're there. I see you in the moonlight, sunshine, the green grass, and the flowers. I feel you wherever I go. I just wish I could still reach behind me on the rocking chair and scratch your head. You loved it so much. When I go outside, I remember how you used to love laying in the grass across the street. When I go workout at the apartment gym, I remember how you used to jump up on the window sill and watch me. Isabella and I still miss and love you so, Buttons.
Another year begins without you, my precious girl. I still think about you each day. When I walk at the park at night, I look up at the moon and think of you. Lots of changes in my life this year. New job and new friends. Whatever help you could provide, I would appreciate. I've always believed you have been able to guide me along the way. Some days I feel so lost and out of sorts. I think of you and it brings a smile to my face and warms my heart. I still miss you so much, baby girl. Isabella and I love and miss you.
Just thinking about you tonight and how much I still miss you. It still hurts that you're not here (physically) with me. I would give anything if I could reach behind me in the rocking chair and scratch your head. You loved that so. I miss opening the dryer after it had been running so you could get in and nap. Oh, Buttons, what I wouldn't give to have you back with me so we could play again. It's getting warmer outside - you would like to roll around in the dirt on the sidewalk and lay in the grass. I love and miss you, baby girl. Please guide me along the way - I feel so lost at times. Please be my guardian angel, forever. Isabella misses you too. We love and miss you, Buttons.
I love and miss you, Buttons. Today of all days is always the hardest. It's been rough the last 11 days. I've been in the hospital with a leg infection. I think of your beautiful spirit and your joy for life and it gives me hope. I lean on my memories of you to keep going when it hurts too much. I love and miss you more than anyone can fathom. But, you know. We love and miss you precious girl. Isabella loves and misses you too. I hope you are soaring with the angels tonight. You are forever in my heart, Buttons. I love you so.
Well, Buttons, another summer has come along and is winding down. I miss you so, still. Even after 2 years, I still think about you every day. It is warm outside, the grass is green....you would love it today like you used to all those years before. I can't help but think about you every time I go walking or look outside from the patio. I wish I could see you running across the grass or climbing a tree. I bought a pendant that has some of your ashes in it along with a note. I wear it around my neck every day. It helps me to know that you are near. I love and miss you so much, Buttons. Isabella gets lonely with out you and so do I. Keep watch over us, if you can. I miss the days when it was just me, you, Isabella, Inky, and Carmen. It was so much fun to watch you guys grow up. Wait for me, Buttons, when my time comes to leave this earth. You, me, Isabella, Inky, Carmen, and Bright Eyes will all be together again - one sweet day! I love and miss you, sweet girl.
Fall is here and it is getting cooler outside. Sometimes, Buttons, I go out on the balcony and look for you to be laying in the grass or running across the parking lot. I feel like you are still out there with all the trees, grass, and flowers. I still call your name sometimes hoping you might come home again.......I don't want to stop calling your name. I still miss you so, Buttons. It doesn't get easier with the passage of time. The loss seems more profound as each day passes. I try to stay hopeful Buttons but it's easy to get discouraged. Isabella gets awfully lonely without you. And so do I. I'd give anything if you, me, Isabella, and Inky could all go outside and play again. I love and miss you so, Buttons. You will always be in my heart, baby girl.
I saw a deer standing in the parking lot tonight. I yelled "Buttons" and her ears twitched. She than ran off down Meridian. Was that you, Buttons? I'm really going through a bad spell right now. Thank you, sweet girl.
It's getting warmer outside, Buttons. The sun was shining brightly today and I know you would've liked to roll around in the grass and on the side walk. I still miss you so much, precious girl. Hardly a day goes by that I don't think of you. I like it when I find a feather on the grass. Are you thinking of me too? I think sometimes that I will never get over losing you. Some things you just don't heal from. You were the best friend that I ever had and you were more full of life than any creature that I have known. I see you in my dreams from time to time. What I wouldn't give to reach behind me when I'm sitting in my rocking chair and scratch your head again. Or let you into the dryer when it is still warm. You loved it so! Please look out for me and Isabella. She misses you so. I do hope that you visit her from time to time. Sometimes she wants to go outside real late at night and I wonder if she is going out to see you. She doesn't do it very often so it makes me wonder. I love and miss you, precious girl. You will always be in my heart. Please stay near forever if you can.
Missing you so much these days, Buttons. You were my bright ray of sunshine each day and I miss you so. My heart hurts so much this time of year. It was about this time of year in 2007 that you, Isabella, Inky, and Carmen came into my life. It's so hard. I just feel so lost without you at times. I just wish you were still here with me. I love and miss you, Buttons. Thank you for loving me. I don't have anyone really to love me anymore except for your sister, Isabella. I am grateful for that at least. Go run, and play with the stars tonight! I will be thinking of you!
Just wanted to say "hi" Buttons and that I still miss you very much. A lot of changes have taken place this past year - some good, some not. I still think about you every day. I look at the chair by the tv - the one that you used to curl up on. I still wish you here, pretty girl. My bright ray of sunshine is missing and it hurts so. I love and miss you, Buttons. I always will and will grieve until the day I die. Isabella misses you too. She gets so lonesome sometimes. I wish you guys could still chase each other around the apartment and play like you used to. I miss you so. Have fun and visit me and Isabella from time to time. I love you, precious girl.
Well Buttons, it's been 3 years since I last saw your sweet face. I still miss you so. Isabella gets lonesome too. I like to think that you are still here beside me, even though I can't see you. I often think of you when I'm in the bathroom. You used to love to get in the dryer when it was still warm. How I wish I could see you in there again! A lot has changed Buttons since you passed. Some good, some not. My heart still aches for you. I love you sweet girl. I hope you are running and playing in the grass like you used to here. I still call your name every so often from my balcony like I used to. Maybe you'll come running across the grass again! I love and miss you, Buttons. Watch over me and Isabella, if you can.
Isabella passed today. I know you were there Buttons to help her cross the rainbow bridge. At her final breath, she stretched out like she used to do when laying on the floor. I know that she probably saw you and jumped to the other side. I am heartbroken that now the both of you have passed. It is so sad and I feel empty. Rest in peace, sweet Isabella - my precious girl.
Well, Buttons, your sister is with you now. The day that I dreaded so much finally came to pass. I hope the both of you are having fun running and playing in the sunshine and grass. It has been hard since Isabella passed. She got really sick in May and it went downhill really fast. It was a difficult and painful experience on July 8. I had the feeling that she leaped onto the rainbow bridge at the very end because she saw you there. I really can't believe that the both of you are gone. Neither one of you will ever have to worry about getting injured or sick again. There's such an empty place in my heart now. I frequently look out over the balcony at night and remember how you used to run across the grass and how Isabella would sit under the big leaves of the potted plants below. I'm very lost now, Buttons. I did get another cat. Her name is Rosie and she is very good hearted but a little rough around the edges. She can be feisty at times. But she's not you or Isabella and sometimes that makes me really sad. I'm trying to adjust the best I can but I just feel empty most of the time. Help Rosie out if you can. She's a really nice cat. Please, watch over me now, Buttons and Isabella. I love and miss you both so much.
I miss you Buttons and Isabella. It is so hard believing that the both of you are gone. It is so hard for me right now. I'd give anything if we could do it all again! I think about you guys a lot. I spend a lot of time looking at pictures in my photo album. I'm so grateful that I had the both of you. I think you saved me more than I saved you. It is getting cooler here and fall is around the corner. I love and miss you both so very much. I sometimes wonder how I will get along without you. Please help Rosie adjust to her new home and help her feel safe. Watch over me from time to time if you can. It's so empty here without you two. I love and miss you Buttons and Isabella. Have fun at the Rainbow Bridge and come visit me from time to time if you can.
Well, Buttons, another summer has passed and fall is around the corner. This will be the first fall/winter without you or Isabella since 2006. Hard to imagine. I miss you so, Buttons. I hope you and Isabella are having a fun time running through the grass and laying in the sun. I wish I was there with you sometimes. Rosie often behaves in the same way as you - she likes to get under the bed spread and she likes to sit on the back of the rocking chair. She likes chasing the shoe string. I love and miss you, Buttons. Take care of your sister, Isabella. I love and miss you both so much.
Another fall and winter are coming, Buttons. I often think about you when I go out on the balcony at night. I remember how you used to lay in the grass across the street and how you would come running across the parking lot when I called you. I still call your name sometimes. I don't want to forget the sound of your name. I miss you and Isabella so much, sweet girl. It's been really hard since Isabella passed in July. Rosie tries really hard to be a good cat. She reminds me of you sometimes. It's hard to believe that's it's been 3 1/2 years since I last saw you and scratched your head. I'm getting old Buttons - these losses just seem to pile up and never end. I hope you are running and playing in the grass with your sister, Isabella. I love and miss you both so much. Come visit from time to time if you can.
Another winter without you sweet girl. And the first winter in a long time without Isabella as well. I miss seeing you each day, Buttons. It's really hard this time of year to feel hopeful about anything. My heart yearns for you and Isabella. I wish I could reach behind me when I'm sitting in the rocking chair and scratch your head like I used to. I wish you could get in the warm dryer again. I hope you and Isabella are having fun in the warm sunshine and green grass. I love and miss you, Buttons. I always will.
I'm having a rough time of it today, Buttons. I miss you and Isabella so much. Some days it is too much to bear. I miss seeing your sweet face every day. I miss you laying on the back of my rocking chair and I could reach back and scratch your head. I don't know how to go on, Buttons. I feel so gutted and raw right now. I found a couple of feathers at the park this afternoon so maybe you and Isabella are closer than I realize. I love and miss you so much, sweet girl. I hope there is a warm dryer at the Rainbow Bridge for you to get in and nap! I remember how you loved that. I love and miss you, sweet girl. Please send some love and positive energy my way if you can.
I love and miss you, sweet girl. It's been 7 months since Isabella passed and I miss you both so much. The last couple of weeks have been really hard. I feel grief stricken from the inside out. Like my soul has been cut away. I hope you a warm dryer to lay in and green grass to stretch out on. I love and miss you both so much. Some days I don't think I can make it. Please help me out, Buttons, if you can. I hope that you and Isabella can watch over me and Rosie. Come visit if you can. I love and miss you, Buttons.
Happy Birthday, sweet girl. I love and miss you, Buttons. I wish you could come back and make my heart whole again. Save me a place at the Rainbow Bridge.