Buddy (AKA Picklehead), You came into our lives 19 years ago and stole our heart and soul. We will love and miss you always. You were the child we could not have. |
The Story of Buddy
Daddy and I were newly married. I just lost my daddy suddenly. We were visiting your daddy's parents and there was this frightened beautiful, little 6-week old Beagle hiding underneath their motorhome. We could not get you to come out from under there. We said, "Come on buddy come see us" and then you came to us. The best decision we ever made was taking you home with us because you made our family complete. Of course we had to name you Buddy. The first night home with us we made French dip sandwiches for dinner and daddy placed his plate on the coffetable and stepped away. When he returned his sandwich was gone but there you were licking your chops. You were thinking, "I am going to like it here". You stole our heart and soul that day. We were always together. Never a vacation planned without you. It was always daddy, mommy and Buddy. Then at age 10 you starting having this chronic cough. We took you to the vet and he said you had a heart murmur and your heart was enlarged and pressing up against your trachea making you cough. So we had you on cough medicine and heart pills. We thought that we were not going to have much time. Along with your heart, your arthritis, you had so many illnesses that we thought you would never pull through and you did, like a trooper. Then we had outgrown the other house, the neighborhood was changing and it was time to move. We bought this land that was 2 acres and we had this house built. We were so nervous because you were 17 and we prayed that you would live long enough to see the new house. We sold the old house too fast and had to live in the RV while the house was being built and thought you were going to hate it. You loved it! You thought you were on a long camping trip. I remember the day we moved in and we took you from room to room. Your eyesight was not good and you had never seen mirrored closet doors. You would look and have this wonderful expression on your face as if to say, "Hey, who is this dog?" Then you would run to the next room and look at the closet doors and there was that expression again saying, "Hey, how did he get here before me?" We just laughed at how adorable you were. The yard you loved, the wild flowers, exploring. You loved the snow. You had never experienced snow until we moved to the new house. We were so thankful that you were able to see it. As you got older we nicknamed you "Picklehead" because you were so old you had to be pickled. You survived so many illnesses and lived longer than we ever imagined. Then February 12, 2006, 2 days before your 19th birthday you suffered a seizure, first one, scared us to death. You never recovered from that and you were so very tired and so on March 4, 2006 at 4:30 p.m. you had to leave us. I know how blessed we were to have you as our boy, I know we were blessed to have you for 19 years, but what we would not do for one more day, but even I know that would not be enough.
You loved, "The Story of Buddy". I told it to you so many times, and I was holding you and kissing you and telling you the story as you left us. I spent 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with you. We walked a mile a day together even up to the day you left. People say, just get another one. We do not want another one. All we want is you. We miss everything about you. We miss your moans when you would get your nightly full body massage from me then daddy. We miss your hugs and kisses. We miss kissing your head and having you push your head harder for more kisses. We miss rubbing your ears. We miss you doing circles because you were so excited when daddy would come home from work. We miss your smile, your playfulness, the sounds of your nails hitting the tile when you would first wake up in the morning. I miss our time together that we had all day while daddy was working. I miss boiling your chicken so that you would have chicken, rice and chicken broth for dinner that you absolutely loved. Daddy will certianly miss making you snow cones that you loved so much. Just everything we miss about you, baby!! The silence is deafening. We knew you were getting older but never imagined our lives without you.
Thank you for coming home with us and being our precious boy and for loving us. Thank you for the best 19 years of our lives. Thank you for being the best thing that ever happened to us. We take comfort in knowing that you are healthy and whole again and playing with your friends. Please wait for us, Buddy.
It has been 7 weeks and we are missing you and crying for you. I just cannot help it baby, I just cry so much because I want you here and miss you so much. We have been able to do one thing. We could never figure out what to do with this yard. Now we are landscaping in your honor. You loved camping and loved the redwood trees and so we are going to plant a redwood tree. All the flowers you loved will be planted. Of course, grass too, and I will picture you on your back rolling in the grass. We will call it "Buddy's Place". I have made a scrapbook and a list of everything you loved, yes, Arby's and McDonalds double cheeseburgers is on there. I light a candle every day at 4:30 and say a prayer for you.
Buddy, please know we love you and miss you now and always. As the Garth Brooks song The Dance says, "I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance." Not in a million years baby! You have our hearts now and always. We love you and miss you so very much Angel Boy.
5/18/2006 - Well baby boy, it has been almost 10 weeks since you have been gone and we are still crying and missing you so much. I had my first Mother's Day without you and now my first B-day without you. I miss having you help me open my presents. We finally got concrete but your pawprints are replaced with your beautiful name and dates. It makes it seem so real and I just hurt so bad. I keep thinking this is just a bad dream and we will wake up and you will be with us again. I just wonder if you know how much of an impact you have on our lives. My life was complete and never wanted for anything but now everyday I want, what I want is YOU. We miss you so very much, Picklehead. We will love and miss you forever and you will always be our Buddy. See you in my dreams, baby boy.
8/4/2006 - Well my angel it has been 5 months since you left. I still cannot believe it. Daddy and I miss you so very much. I got up looking for you last night and then I remembered you were not here. This is very hard for me. I cannot accept life without you, I function but I cannot honestly say I am happy. Don't get me wrong, angel, I love your daddy but you completed our family and it is just very lonely without you. We will be going on our annual Colorado trip but we are not looking forward to it because this will be the first time without you. You loved our trips to Colorado so much and that is why we are going because I know you would be very upset with us if we did not go. I miss you so much Buddy. You are always in my heart and my thoughts constantly. Thank you for being my baby boy and for loving us. See you in my dreams, Buddy.
12/12/2006: Hello my beautiful angel boy. I hope you are making all kinds of friends and enjoying running and playing, seeing all there is to see and all the wonderful scents. I wanted to put up some holiday decorations as you love them so much. I cannot put any up baby, because this is our first one without you and I just feel like I am dying a slow death and really do not want any part of the holidays this year. So the Frosty the Snowman will not be put out but that is okay as I know you really did not like him. I am so lonesome without you Monkeyman. You will forever be my heart and soul. I love you, Mommy
12/25/2006: Hello Monkeyman, Here it is Christmas and this is our first Christmas apart. It is very lonely here but I hope you are having lots of fun with your friends opening your presents. I hope you got lots of cookies because you just love cookies. Daddy loved the your picture blanket. Go have fun with your friends baby boy. I will love and miss you always. Merry Christmas angel, Mommy
1/1/2007: Happy New Year, Buddy. Daddy and I are not looking forward to starting a new year without you but we will do our best because we do not want you to be sad because we are sad. Thank you for being the best part of us, you will also be momma's beautiful, beautiful boy. I miss you terribly angel. I love you very much, mommy.
2/14/2007: Happy 20th birthday my beautiful boy. What a special day this always was for you. I hope you have so much fun with your friends today and I know you will get lots of presents. Daddy and I will be getting double cheeseburgers and french fries from McDonalds as this was your birthday dinner and we will continue this tradition. We will also be having ice cream cake just like you always requested. We miss you so much angel. You are mommy's beautiful, beautiful boy. We will love you always and forever. Happy birthday and Happy Valentine's day, Buddy!!!
3/4/2007 - One year ago today. Hello my angel boy. Well, it has been a year today and I cannot believe it has been a year. It feels so long since I have held you, yet, the pain feels like yesterday since you left us. I know now that even though I am functioning without you, I will never get over losing you. You have left my heart so very empty and I am so lonesome for you. You will always be our boy. The weather is warming up and I will plant some more flowers that you loved so much. I still light a candle for you every day at 4:30, I hope you see it so bright and beautiful just like you. Thank you for sending your brother to us. He has helped your daddy forget how sick you were just before you left us and he has helped your daddy remember all the wonderful and playful memories of you. I also know that no one will ever take your place and I will never forget you, which is something I was so very afraid of and you helped me to see that there will always and forever be only one "Buddy" and that my precious gift from God is you. Thank you for being our boy and for loving us and completing our family. We will miss you and love you always and forever.
7/4/2007 - Hello my Picklehead, well it has been 1 year and 4 months since you left and I still miss you terribly. I am so lonesome for you. I have to keep reminding myself that you are young and healthy and just having so much fun with your new friends. This does comfort me and I do know that I will hold and kiss, and kiss, and kiss you again soon. Thank you for helping your brother adjust to life outside of a rescue. There are times where he will suddenly stop and look at your picture or play with his toy on your picture blanket and try to put it in your mouth, and I know that you are there with us and I thank you for visiting us. You will always be momma's beautiful, beautiful boy. We love and miss you so very much. Come visit again soon, baby.
12/21/07 - Good morning Buddy, I just wanted to tell you how much I miss you and love you, and how lonesome I am for you. Mommy loves you angel boy.
12/25/07 - Merry Christmas Buddy. I hope you have a wonderful day with all your friends. We will be thinking of you today and missing you so much. You sure loved Christmas and opening all your gifts was so fun for us to watch. I hope you like the picture daddy got me of you, I sure do. It has your beautiful smile that I so need to see every day. Enjoy your festivities with your friends, angel boy. Merry Christmas and big hugs and kisses from mommy and daddy to you. We love you so much.
2/14/08 - HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY, PICKLEHEAD, and HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! I hope you have a magical day filled with lots of fun, gifts, and surprises. I am sorry I have been crying so much, but mommy misses you terribly and I just have to let it out sometimes. We will be celebrating your birthday tomorrow along with our "Day of Love", just as we did when you were here. Thank you for the heart rocks you have been leaving me. I love them! Mommy misses you, angel boy, and I am sending you HUGE birthday and Valentine kisses and hugs. We love you now and forever.
03/04/2008 - Hello my beautiful boy, I cannot believe that I have been without you for 2 years now. My heart still aches for you just as it did two years ago when you left, and I am still so very lonesome for you. So much has happened lately that truly have sent me backwards on this journey without you, but please know that even with all these changes, my love for you has never changed. It is stronger than ever and always will be. McDonald's is just is not the same without you. Thank you for being my Buddy, you are such a perfect little angel boy, and I am so blessed to have you as my son. My boy, momma's beautiful, beautiful boy. I will light a candle at 4:30. I hope you see it and know that I am sending kisses up to you. Come visit me when you can, Buddy. I am sending you HUGE all over body massages and head kisses. Mommy loves you and misses you so very much much. Have fun with your friends, Picklehead and momma will see you soon.
12/25/2008 - Merry Christmas my beautiful boy! I am sorry I did not put up decorations this year. I know you loved them so much, but it is not a good time for me, so please don't be upset. I am missing you so much. Life definitely is not the same without you, just very lonesome. Thank you so much for the beautiful rainbow, it is was magnificent. I took a picture of it to remind me of your present. I hope you had a perfectly fun day. I know you and your friends had lots of festivities and gifts. You certainly deserve a wonderful day Buddy. Momma misses you terribly. Come visit when you can. Big hugs and kisses to you!!!!
2/14/2009 HAPPY 22ND BIRTHDAY, PICKLEHEAD, and HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! What a special day this is for you. I hope you have another magical day with so much fun with your friends with a big party and lots of presents. Daddy and I are getting double cheeseburgers and french fries from McDonalds, as this was your birthday dinner and we will continue this tradition. I miss our special "day of love" that we shared. I am sending you HUGE birthday and Valentine kisses and hugs. We miss you so much angel. You are mommy's beautiful, beautiful boy. We will love you always and forever. Happy birthday and Happy Valentine's day, Buddy!!!
3/4/2009 My precious angel boy, I cannot believe it has been 3 years. Seems so long since I have held you, kissed you, rubbed you, or played with you. It has been long enough now to know that this is how I will feel until I can be with you again. This hole in my heart that just cannot be filled. I hope you hear me talking to you every day, and know that I miss you so very much. You will always be my precious gift from God. Give grandpa a big wet kiss for me and tell him I love him and for you two to take care of each other. We will be together again Buddy, and never again will we be apart. The only thing that helps me is knowing that you are young and healthy again. I will light a candle at 4:30, as that is the time you left us. Buddy, mommy misses you now and always. I love you so very much. I am sending you big, huge belly rubs and kisses on your head. Come visit me when you can.
11/26/2009 Happy Thanksgiving my beautiful Buddy. I miss you so much. The holidays are not the same without you. You added such a beautiful light to our holidays, and our holidays were never without you. That is why they will never be the same. I hope you have a great day with your friends and have fun playing after your Thanksgiving day feast. You are always in my thoughts and always in my heart. I miss you and I love you so much Buddy.
12/25/09 Merry Christmas my precious boy. I know I always say this but I miss you so much. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with all your friends. I put up your favorite decorations and your stocking is right next to mine. Come visit me when you can Monkey Man. I love you so much.
02/14/2010 Happy 23rd Birthday Picklehead. I wish you were here to celebrate. We will be having your favorite dinner, McDonald's double cheeseburger and French Fries. Our day of love is not the same since you are not with us. I am so lonesome for you, just an empty feeling since you have been gone. Have a great day with your friends. I am sure there will be a lot of festivities and gifts, because you loved to open gifts. I love you will all my heart Buddy. Come visit me soon.
03/04/2010 My precious boy I cannot believe it has been 4 years since you left. I miss holding you, kissing you and seeing that beautiful face with such a great smile. I take comfot knowing you are young and healthy again and that you are in such a magnificient place. We will be together soon baby. Until then Picklehead, know that Mommy loves you so much and misses you terribly. Come visit me when you have time. You own my heart, love Mommy
12/25/2010 Merry Christmas my beautiful boy. Another Christmas without you. What fun we had. So many beautiful memories. I hope you have such a wonderful day. We miss you and love you so much. Love Mommy and Daddy
02/14/2011 HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY PICKLEHEAD and happy Valentine's Day. We will be celebrating just as we always do with your favorite dinner, McDonald's double cheeseburger and fries. I know your friends have such wonderful festivities planned for you. We miss you so very much. I am so lonesome for you always. Happy birthday my special boy! Love Mommy and Daddy
3/4/2011 My beautiful Buddy, today is 5 years since I have held you and kissed your beautiful face. It still seems like yesterday. My heart is so lonesome and aches for you. Mommy and daddy miss you every day and will love you forever. Give your Papa a kiss for me. I love you always my Picklehead.
03/04/2012 My beautiful boy it has now been 6 years since you left. It seems like yesterday. I miss you so very much. I am sorry I have not written, but as you now Grandma and Aunt Linda are very sick and I have been spending much time with them. Please remember I love you now and always and will miss you always too. Sending big kisses, hugs and belly rubs. I love you so much my Buddy.
12/25/2012 Merry Christmas my beautiful boy! I am sorry I haven't written, but as you know it has been an extremely hard two years. Thank you for helping us through it. You are always on my mind and in my heart. I miss you so very much. We will love you always my angel boy. Enjoy your day with your friends. Sending you big kisses, hugs and belly rubs.
02/14/2013 Happy 26th Birthday Buddy! Hope you have fun with your friends today. You are our greatest Valentine's gift ever! You will always hold the key to our hearts. We love you and miss you so much. Sending you big kisses, many hugs and belly rubs.
3/4/2013 Well my angel boy it has been 7 years since you left. It seems like yesterday. My heart still aches for you. We will be having your favorite double chesseburgers and fries for dinner in your memory. Come visit me soon. Sending you many hugs and big kisses. I love you and miss you so very much Buddy.