Bonnie or Boogie as we used to call her came in to my life back in 2008. She became my best friend and my sweet baby girl. She was always with me, by my side everyday. |
She filled my life with so much unconditional love and joy.
She used to bark like crazy whenever the landscaper came to mow the lawn, she did not like that! She would bark at the fence when the neighbors mowed their lawn and then she would get frustrated and start eating the grass all angry, it was pretty funny! She loved food and treats, she wasn't really big on fetch or playing, she would putt out after a few minutes but when she did, it was super cute to watch.
A little over a year ago Bonnie was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease. I literally felt my heart breaking when the vet told me. We did everything we could to fight it. All the meds, the foods, the dietary restrictions, the specialist, the fluids, the magical herb remedies, the constant vet visits-everything in our power and Means and she was getting worse. There was a point when we had hope that we were maintaining - we had a wonderful Christmas and even the next few months she seemed to be doing so well. I got the false sense of hope she was going to be with us for a lot longer. I was trying to mentally prepare for the day I would lose her but honestly I've always been a glass half full kind of gal so I really wasn't prepared to say goodbye. I was determined to do whatever she needed to give her the best possible quality of life.
I chose The Good Life For Pets and the vet came out to the house at 4:45 ...she was 15 minutes early! She was nice and kind but you never want to see these people enter your home...she started to explain the procedure- but I stopped her, told her we've been through this before and didn't need the play by play. We put music on the last hour she was with us- You are my sunshine and Somewhere over the Rainbow played in a loop. We held her and cried and let her know it was OK and how much we loved her we said our goodbyes and held her in our arms until she had passed. We cut off her signature ponytail so we could keep it and took off her pajamas for her memorial spot. I kissed her on her head before seeing her for the last time. We cried for hours after watching her being carried out in the basket.
We had her cremated and they did a clay paw print. It came out very nice and her urn is a cherrywood box with a gold plate with her name engraved on it and a golden lock. It came in a blue velvet bag with 2 small keys attached. I have her on my nightstand along with her favorite toys and the last tire treat she enjoyed,
07/31- Good morning baby girl, I miss you. ❤️ I miss waking up and seeing your sleepy face. Today is mommy's birthday and I don't feel much like celebrating because you are not here with me. I love you so much and I'm so lost without you my Boogie luv. I know you are in a better place now with Kris healthy and happy and making new friends. I'm sending you lots of snuggles and kisses today and always. Mommy loves you so so much.❤️
08/03- Hello luv, I wish you were here so I could give you lots of snuggles and kisses. I'm really missing you tonight. Chloe misses you too, she hasn't been the same since the day you left. Sometimes when daddy and I are on the couch watching TV, I reach out to pet you in your spot next to me and then I remember you are no longer with us and it makes me so sad. I miss my boogie luv so so much. I had a necklace made with your paw print and your name so I can have you with me all the time. It's not the same but it helps. I got a picture frame for your memorial spot on my nightstand but I can't decide which picture I want to put in it. I have so many and they are all so adorable it's hard to pick just one. I have been making videos with your pictures and videos that we have from over the years. You were such a funny girl. I watched one yesterday when you were being all silly after your bath and rubbing all over everything like a crazy girl. I miss that so much. I love you sweet baby❤️ Sleep well, my angel.
08/05- Hi sweet baby, mommy misses you so so much. I was throwing the ball for Lukas and Chloe today and I really missed how you used to bark when I threw Lukas's ball. I wish you were here next to me on your comfy pillows. I still have your bed set up next to my pillow. I miss how soft you were after a bath. I miss the way you would act like you were swimming if I put you over a sink. That was pretty funny. Daddy and I were talking about you tonight remembering how you used to do the motor boat on the floor and we laughed. We miss you so much and we hope you are living care free with lots of friends and love. You will be in our hearts forever. Goodnight mamma. ❤️😘
08/26- Good Morning my gorgeous, I wrote to you on the 21st and it looks like I didn't click apply changes so you may not have gotten my message. I am so sorry for that! I miss you so much my luv. Mommy is really struggling without you. I feel so alone. Whenever I was having a bad day I could pick you up and snuggle you and things didn't seem so bad. You were my rock and now everything is so different. It's been 3 months and it feels like yesterday. I made a playlist of songs that remind me of you and I cry everytime I listen to them. I am so sorry I couldn't make you better, I'm sorry I had to take you to the vet so much, I know you didn't like it but I had to. I hope wherever you are that you are healthy, happy and loved. I didn't realize how many pictures and videos I had of you over the years, I'm so glad I did. I have a whole library of Boogie I can go to anytime. It's definitely not the same as having you here, but for those couple of minutes it makes me smile. I watch a few every night before I go to bed and tell you I love you. I hope you hear me. Daddy got me a present and showed me the video of it being made. It has 12 pictures of you and they are all painted on one canvas, it looks really beautiful. It supposed to be here this Friday, I can't wait to get it. Chloe misses you so much, we can tell. Whenever I say your name, she looks for you. She seems sad and doesn't have as much spunk as she used to. I try to give her lots of snuggles and love but it's not the same for her, I can tell. I miss you so much baby girl it hurts. Funny thing- not long after we said goodbye to you, we noticed a chipmunk that kept coming around on the back patio and one day I noticed she poked her head out of the slats under the hot tub, we kept seeing her and figured she has made the patio her home. She is still there, I saw her yesterday. I have been giving her water and almonds. I told daddy that maybe you were reincarnated into a chipmunk...no one really knows what happens when we go to our final resting place. I hope you are happy and I hope you know how much we love you and that you will have a special place in our hearts forever. I miss you so much my love, I love you. Rest well my sweet sweet baby.
09/22- Hello my luv, I miss you so so much. It's been 4 months now without you and I feel so alone. The painting daddy got for me is huge, it came out really nice and is hanging on the wall. I look at everyday and I smile - seeing your sweet face. I still watch videos of you every night and it still feels empty when I go to sleep without you nestled in next to me. I tell you goodnight and that I love you every night before I go to sleep- I hope you hear me. I'm hurting pretty bad right now mama and I sure could use some of your snuggles. I'm so sad, every day takes so much energy to function that by the end of the day, I'm wiped out. I love you sweet baby girl and I miss you so much it hurts.
11/16- Happy Birthday baby girl, I miss you so much. I know I haven't been by in awhile and I'm sorry. The truth is, I'm trying to cope without having you in my life anymore and I always get so sad when I write to you. We miss you so much, Chloe isn't the same without you. She misses you too I can tell. I was talking about you the other day and she was looking for you. I'm not going to cook for Thanksgiving this year, it's just not the same without you. I hope you get to enjoy the big feast where you are like you used to during the holidays. This has been an awful year for so many reasons but with all of it, losing you was the worst part it. We are going to watch some videos of you tonight in your memory to honor your birthday. I still have your bed set up next to my pillow and I still sleep with your pajamas and tell you goodnight every night, I hope you hear me. I wear the necklace with your paw print everyday and as time passes, it hurts a little less. I miss you so much my luv and I love you more than I can express in words. Happy Birthday my angel.
12/05- Hello my luv, Mommy misses you so much. I was decorating the tree and putting your ornaments up and I felt so sad. Your memorial ornament should be here on Tuesday. Christmas doesn't feel the same without you. I love you sweet baby, I miss your soft warm snuggles and the noises you would make while dreaming. I tell you goodnight every night and how much I miss and love you, I hope you hear me. Chloe is snuggled up by legs right now and she is snoring so loud. She really misses you too. I hope you are surrounded by love with Kris and lots of new friends.
05/21/21-My sweet sweet baby, it's been a year since you left and it feels like yesterday. I miss you so much. I'm sorry I haven't been by in a while Mommy is trying to heal from losing you. You will forever remain in my heart and I feel the pain from losing you will never go away. I tell you goodnight and that I love you every night, I hope you hear me. I just spent over an hour watching videos of you and they made me cry, laugh and smile. You were such a cool character, no other dog could take your place. I hope you know how much I love you and I would have done anything to save you. I wish I could snuggle with you one last time and capture that feeling for eternity. I love you so much my sweet Boogie luv. Missing you everyday babygirl. Rest well my angel. ❤️
05/21/22- Hello my luv, it's now been two years since you left and we miss you so much. Chloe crossed the bridge in September and mommy and daddy were so sad. I hope you found each other right away and I hope you and Chloe and Kris are all together free of sickness and pain. My mom's baby Chewy just crossed the bridge last Friday, look for him and take care of him. I miss you so much, my heart hurts. You will always be my favorite, my best friend, my rock. I tell you goodnight every night, I hope you hear me. I was watching videos of you the other day and I cried so hard. I will never get over losing you. I think about you all the time. Your pictures are everywhere and seeing you everyday makes me grateful to have had your love, so unconditionally. It's not fair that you had to go so soon, I wish you could have been with me forever. No one or nothing will ever take your place my sweet sweet baby. Take care of Kris, Chloe and Chewy. I love you always and forever.