There's not a moment that goes by I don't think of you|
There's not a moment that goes by I don't want to cry
As breezes become warmer and birds begin to sing
Why didn't I just wait until the Spring?
You so enjoyed the walks we used to take
A journey I will never again make
There is nothing to describe the way I feel
Or the ache within my heart that will not heal
You're part of everything I see and do
My heart breaks with the memory of you
You were my child, my confidant, my friend
You brought me so much joy right till the end
Did you look at me to ask me why?
While I held you tight and said goodbye
I'm sorry for all the pain I put you through
I thought of me...I couldn't bear a life without you
They say that healing will take time
But that is their perception, not mine
This pain inside will never go away
It will be with me every moment, every day
Nothing will ever be the same again
I've lost my confidant, my child, my friend.
I love you Bones forever and always.
It has been eight years since you've been gone and there is still not a day I don't think of you and all the joy you brought to my heart. You never knew Ashley and Dutchess but they have joined you there and may need some guidance. If you can, please see if Duke will throw stones to Dutchess so she can run in the water for them and go swimming. Our family here continues to grow...you now have four brothers and four sisters to watch over until one day they will meet you. You also have a daddy who will love you as much as I do. I hope you are so happy now that you're not sick anymore and can run and play. I can't wait for the day when I come to get
all of you...then my life will be happy and complete. Never forget how very much I love you and that you are still and, always will be, in my heart. I love you my sweet girl.
Hi sweetheart...will you please welcome, take care of, and help guide Sunny around Rainbow Bridge. Knowing you are there for Sunny may help Barb feel better. Thank you my baby. I love you more than words can say and miss you so very much.
Winter is approaching, it is cold and rainy out today. I wanted to make your residency as nice as I could during this season. I hope you and Sunny have connected, she really needs your help. Are you and Dutchess now friends, even though he wasn't a kitty kind of doggy? I hope so. You have never left my thoughts, even after all these years. I'm going to make a point of getting more pictures of you up here...I'm sorry I haven't done it sooner. Your six brothers and sisters still miss you. We have two more now, you would love them as much as the others...and they would love you. I miss you sitting on the couch with me and snuggling in bed. You were the best baby ever and I will never forget you no matter how much time goes by. I love you Bones and I can't wait to see you again. I will feel complete when I have all my babies together with me once again. Be happy and enjoy your time there. I will come and get you when it's time...hold onto that as I do. oxoxoxo Mommy
March 20, 2016
To my dear Bones: Today is the 10th anniversary of your passing to Rainbow Bridge. I have thought of you all day, looked at pictures from the days you were younger and we lived at the trailer and then to our house...pictures of when Jett came into our home, I'm not sure what you thought of that, don't think you were happy but you were good with her. You were always an accepting baby girl and thought of others. I wanted to apologize for something weighing heavy on my heart...before I knew you were dying I started making our family bigger, I couldn't say no to "fostering" which turned into adoption. I couldn't say no to the rescues, the little strays that ended up at my door somehow. Our home was crazy then, you were dying and I had all the responsibility too of your brothers and sisters and couldn't pay as much attention to you as I should have. Your "daddy" was mean at the end of our relationship and no thought to how it made you feel. Every night you'd get fluids to keep you hydrated and you were so brave. I'm sorry there were so many other kitties in the house then, then your "daddy" left us all alone. I tried so hard to pay more attention to you, we'd talk walks together...you loved those...it bonded us toward the end...not that we weren't always bonded. You were my baby here on Earth for 18 years...we had a very strong bond. I am just so sorry I wasn't a better mommy toward the end of your life, I will always regret that but I was just so spread out so thin...not an excuse...I should have made more time. I had always asked my friend Heather to let me know when it was time for you to leave me as I couldn't make that decision. In reality, I should have let you go way before I did but I was selfish and didn't want to let you go. When Heather said she thought it was time, you were in so much pain. I chose the first day of Spring to say goodbye to you...a time of renewal for you, for you to leave me and be happy and healed at Rainbow Bridge. It was one of the hardest days of my life, holding you until you were gone, holding you in your baba and driving you to get cremated so I could bring you home the same night. I came home with a box...from that morning until that late afternoon you went from being here with me to ashes in a box. It just about killed me. I couldn't stop crying, cried all the time, barely functioned, just did what I had to then curled up in bed and cried some more. I think your brothers and sisters understood, especially Jett. I hope I gave you a great life...I tried to, did everything I could think of to make your life warm, safe, happy, and loved. On this day, 10 years later, it feels just like it did that painful day...the day has been filled with happy and sad thoughts of you, the tears as I write this are falling. I pray you are happy at the Bridge, I hope you have made lots of friends, that you play like you were a kitten, and think of me once in a while. I will be there one day, I hope soon, to come and get you so we can go to Heaven and be with each other once again. I can't wait to hold you in my arms, that will be a very happy day for me. In the meantime, please know how very much I love you and how much a piece of my heart you have and have had for the past 28 years. Be happy my baby and know that mommy will always be with you...always.
2/19/18: Hello my baby girl...so much has happened lately...I know you remember Zipee and Keith, your brothers. They are there now Bones, I lost them both in the last month, a loss that is unbearable. I know you've probably seen them, may already be hanging around together, but I just wanted to make sure you knew so you could watch over them and take care of them. You were the big sister to all of your siblings, much older than they all were. They were four yrs. old when you left me. I always felt so bad for bringing in more kitties, I think you were upset with me. I'm sorry for that honey, your mom is just a rescuer who couldn't say no. Now you have your two brothers with you once again, I know you will do whatever it takes to make things good for them. I hope and pray you are happy and laying in the sun as I write...you always did love the sun. I'll try to write again soon baby girl...I love you very, very much and you are always here with me...always.
3/20/18: To my beautiful baby Bones...today is 12 years since you left me and went to Rainbow Bridge. That day is embedded in my heart, the heart that was so broken when you passed. I know now that it was the only thing I could do because you were in so much pain. I think of all the years we spent together, so many many wonderful memories. I know you are taking good care of Zipee and Keith, they need their big sister to watch over them and protect them. Even though you didn't know Ashley, please also look after her, she had a hard life until Clif saved her. Please encircle them with your love. I love you so, so much and look forward to the day we can all be togethere again. Please know that even if I don't write very often, you are always in my heart and soul. oxoxoxxoxo