You were just simply wonderful Biff. I wasn't prepared for you to leave. Have fun at the Rainbow Bridge. See you later. I miss you unbelievably.|
I'm trying to be happy for you since you are at the Rainbow Bridge and I know you're happy....but it's difficult because I miss being able to hug and squeeze you and rub your soft tummy. I learned some things when you left. I looked at how other people were handling this sort of grief. I learned that animals have a spirit and a soul (I already knew that part)....but animals are very spiritual creatures. Animals have a divinity and majesty that is unknowable at times. My bond with you went beyond unconditional love and happiness; it was a special and even spiritual bond. Therefore, it is ok for me to admit that I cried worse over you than when some relatives passed away. It is not that I didn't love my relatives....just that the bond with you was 'different' and had its own special meaning.....which there really are no words to express.
I'm uploading some more pics to your memorial. I'm aware that you were a VERY special gift to me from God. I thank Him for every moment of you and for creating you and letting me have you for awhile (7 years and 3 months and four days). I'm trying not to be sad and selfish and want you back, but I'm human and not a dog, so it's taking me awhile. Say 'hello' to Buster and Buckwheat and Lulu and Sage and all the rest....I love you forever and will be along shortly when my time is up here.
It is day 10 and I still miss everything about you. It is quiet without the sound of your snoring. I feel like I don't care about anything. People think that is depression. That's bullshit. I just miss you. I'm trying to remind myself that you are the happiest you've ever been. Have fun Biff!
It is day 53....and I'm still heartbroken. I can't believe how attached to you I was. I guess I was attempting to return your big love all those years. You were just always there and so happy and full of love and playfulness. I just keep reminding myself that you are happy and healthy and I'll see you again. I've been looking at other people's memorials of their loved ones. I see that you have many lovely playmates there. I think you are happy, loved, and having fun....and that's all I ever wanted for you.
Hi my wonderful Biff boy. It is day 83. I think of you every single day and still feel awkward trying to bumble along in life here without you. Don't feel bad because it's not your fault, but I was the most heart-broken I've ever been in my life when you left. It hurt so bad, I couldn't breathe sometimes. (I understand now why some people even faint). Animals have 'pure' love....and I think most humans are not even capable of that kind of love (much as we try)...so is why we miss y'all so much when you go to Rainbow. Even though you were on medication at the last, you knew you were going to Rainbow soon. I knew it too, but couldn't admit it until it happened.
Hi Biff. Yesterday was 3 months (90 days) with you at Rainbow. I can't believe I made it. The world is a different place without you, and I'm a different person too. For awhile, I wasn't even sure if I wanted to stay in this world myself. I struggled to just go to work and eat and make sure the other dogs had food. We are going to New Mexico where you were born to get a male bulldog puppy in February (or when he is ready). We are naming him after you: Biff Junior. He won't be you, but he will be his own little bundle of love, and me and Walter and Bella will try to make him as happy as you always were.
Biff - your one year anniversary of going to Rainbow is coming up in 2 weeks. I never did get over you. That's because you paved the way for me. My views of God and heaven and love and forgiveness and everything has changed over the year. Now it won't be long before I see you! What an absolute blessing you were to me. I see you soon little Knight in Red/White!! Wait for me!
Biff - I just renewed your memorial. Now it is two years since you went to Rainbow. I still cry huge tears over you, and I'm not ashamed to admit that. I miss you unbelievably. You were supposed to capture my heart, and I'm glad you did. I can't wait to see you again. Wait for me Biff...I hope it is soon that I can see you and hug you again at Rainbow. I will have shed my last tear then.