12/17/17: Hi Bentley, I'm sorry I hadn't written before today, but to be honestly truthful, setting up this site for you has not been the easiest thing for me to do. I guess, in a way, it's facing the reality that you're not physically here with me. Funny thing, is I thought I was prepared for this. I know I kept saying to myself that it wouldn't be much longer. You had such a hard time walking. I felt so bad for you (and I guess, us). I would walk you down to the river, and you would have such a hard time, but I could see in your eyes that you wanted to go, so I made sure we went. Eventually, I could only walk short walks with you, and you would be so tired I wasn't sure you would make it back inside! But you always did. You were a strong dog, both mentally AND physically. I was always so worried that you would come to the point where you couldn't walk anymore and then I would have to make the hardest of choice.|
But that never happened. The night of your passing, I had actually just ran out to get you some fresh dog bones, some chicken broth and some Pepto Bismol for your tummy aches. When I came back home, you started a labored breathing and gave me "The Look". I remember my mom telling me "You'll know when it's time, he'll give you the look", and she was right.
I drove to the vet confused and not sure what to do. I drove slowly because I didn't really want to go. When I got you inside, you laid down on the floor just inside the main door. I had to pick you up and carry you into the examining room. Was that a sign that you didn't want to go? I'll never know. I still wasn't sure. Then the vet said you were filling up with fluid, we did an x-ray and then realized you were full of cancer. I broke down, realizing that I wasn't going to be able to take you back home. To be truthful, everything was a blur from there on. I remember you falling to a final sleep in my arms, me kissing you and crying. I'll never forget the awful feeling that was.
This weekend, I called the vet to find out where your ashes were. You were actually back at the hospital but they hadn't called me yet to tell me! I immediately went and picked you up. You know me, Mr. B, I always did whatever it was that you needed. I never wanted you to go without or get the best of what I can give, and I certainly wasn't going to have you staying at the vet's all by yourself!
I'm glad you're home with me now. I light a candle next to your ashes nightly. I can't promise that will always happen, but just because I don't light it doesn't mean I'm not thinking of you.
So many people have written to you on this site. I really does feel good, knowing that you are in such a beautiful place and that you have a lake and a pool to cool off in and that you have so many friends to play with. I hope you are pain free and finally enjoying life again, running through the fields and swimming in the water.
Bentley, you were truly my best friend. You were the smartest dog I ever met and we really did a lot of awesome things together. We connected in every way. I swear you could read my mind. You were so smart that even when you went deaf, you still remembered the hand signals I taught you as a pup.I have SO many picture of you. I promise I'll put more on here and that I'll keep your residence up and visit you often. I will always miss you and think of you often.
I will write again soon, I promise. Enjoy the time with your new friends! Love you! Dad.
12/19/17: So I called the crematory today because they spelled your name wrong on your name plate that goes on your box of ashes. I can't blame them though. Funny thing is, I often wondered if there should be an E in your name. Bentley or Bently. I eventually had to look it up on Google to make sure. They actually did a great job on the entire process of your cremation. The box for your ashes is beautiful, with a place for your picture. They wrapped you so nicely in doggie paw print tissue paper. I looked the company up online. I didn't realize that they have an entire service, viewing area, cemetery, everything for planning final services for pets, just like humans. I guess that certainly goes to show how precious we know our furry friends are! OK, I have to go for now, but I'll write again soon! Love you buddy, Dad.
12/25/17: Merry Christmas Bentley. I added you too today's candle light ceremony. I wanted to do something special for you today. This Christmas, I think I finally realized what the true meaning of Christmas is about. After losing you on 12/08, Aunt Madeline on 12/10 and now mom being in the hospital for Christmas, it has become quite evident to me, that we must hold close to us the ones we love as we never know how long they will be with us and what the next day will bring. You were part of teaching me that Bentley. You see, you taught be the real meaning of love and to appreciate each day that we have with one another. Thank you for that. I thank God that he sent you to me and that we had the time together that we did. I think of you daily and know that I will see you again. God Bless you my precious baby. Daddy loves you more that you know.......
1/1/2018: Hello again Mr. B and happy New Year my friend. I kept busy this weekend but think of you often, sometimes thinking that you are right next to me at certain times. I walk by your ashes daily and always stop and say hello and usually light a candle for you. I have also set up a space for Alex and Kittie. You didn't know them, but they are my past furry companions. Kittie was great cat, a street scrapper if you messed with him and he was very set in his ways. He was great with me and others for the most part but it would depend on his mood on if he wanted to deal with anyone else. He had a way of just making himself at home no matter how many times we moved. He would cross that busy street and always make it back home safely that night. A great friend and companion who knew how to fend for himself. I got him because my upstairs neighbor at the time took him in even though she couldn't afford to even feed him properly. I begged her to let me have the cat because we bonded well and he needed proper care. She finally gave in and let me have him. I waited so long to name him and just kept calling him kitty, hence how he got his final name.
11/12/18: Happy Birthday my most precious boy. Today you would have 15. Things are getting cooler here in the North East, so I will re arrange your toys this week in preparation for winter and the Holidays. Not so Easy signing on here, which why I admit, I have been lacking to physically put myself through the visits. They are still very difficult (I know I say this every time I sign on here).
6/23/2019: Good Morning Bentley. I guess I'll do my usual first and apologize AGAIN for not visiting more often. I have to work up the courage and know that I will cry and just deal with it. But my main reason for writing today is to thank you for visiting me last Friday night in my dreams. At first I was very surprised and was trying to make sure that it was really you. I was driving and you were way in the back of the car and I was like what? Bentley? Is that you? Is that you my Bentley? And like magic, all of the sudden you were right behind me and you reached your paw over and it was like heaven. The little bit of roughness of your doggie paw pad and the weight of your arm on mine. It was SO REAL and I knew it was (at least for the moment). I then wanted to let you out and let you run around because we were near a small body of water and I of course remembered that you liked to swim so much. You LOVED the water. SO I turned the car around to being you onto the other side of the water where there was more room and we could run, but it seemed like it was taking so long to get there and as quick as you came to me, you were gone. and the dream was over. Kind of like life itself I guess. I woke up and told Mom about my dream and I told her that you came to visit me last night. She believes just like I do. It was nice to see you and to spend even that little bit of time with you. Thank you for visiting me. I miss you always and fondly remember our 14 years together. My best friend forever.....All my love, Dad.