You were already two and half years old when I met you, and I remember how you ran into the living room of the house where you lived like a crazy dog until you suddenly ended up in front of me and stopped stock still. We bonded at that moment and neither of us ever looked back. We had nearly 11 years together and it seems like it passed in the blink of an eye. |
I remember you weren't really sure what to do with toys or exactly how to play, since you'd spent a lot of your life outside with your German shepherd brother, but oh how you loved to walk! One of the best things we did was go to the beach twice a year, just the two of us. How we'd walk and walk. I wish we'd walked more often the rest of the time.
I know you got lonely when I left you with mama so much of the time because of the hours I had to work. But, oh, my gallant little boy, you were always there for me anyway. I remember: the mornings you laid up against me in bed and rested your amazingly heavy little head on my shoulder just to cuddle; the days when I would get so frustrated or upset I burst into tears, and you licked them off my face with your hot little tongue; those times you growled under your breath letting me know there was more to someone than I might see on the surface, and to beware; and finally your patience when I brought Sammy home to be your brother because I didn't want you to be lonely anymore . . . neither one of us knew what we were getting into with that, did we?
Nevertheless, Sammy misses you too; so does mama. And I am so sorry that I didn't recognize you were sick sooner. You were such a sweet boy to leave on your own so I didn't have to make the hard decision, but I still wish I had been with you. It's been more than four months since you left, and some days are still harder than I would ever have imagined. I miss you so much, my beautiful Tibetan lama dog. Sammy's a good boy, but he's not my soul mate in quite the way you were. My heart has to be open for all, but even so, it contains a small Bear-shaped space that won't be filled except by you!