Barney Sweetheart, You were always such a good boy, so loyal and devoted never leaving my side from the moment you came into my life. On those times I had to leave you, you would sit on the driveway, no matter the hours in rain, cold or snow, until I returned. You'd even take my shoes out to be near you. You'd hear my car and you were always readied to greet me with such love, eagerness and wagging tail as soon as you saw me. When we played hide-n-seek, you would look in every room, behind every door until you happily found me. If I stayed up all night, you were right there by my side and if I was asleep you layed next to me standing guard to make sure no one bothered or touched me. Every step I took, you were right next to me no matter what was going on. You even hated to leave me to eat, so for a long time I stood by you so you would eat. You'd hurriedly go out your doggie doors to do your business, but whisked right back in to find me. When I sat to watch TV, you thought my lap was your place of resting and seemed to relish in my continual petting. You instinctively knew when I was sad and would immediately try to comfort me with you sweet displays of love. Oh how you loved riding in the car; especially the convertible. You'd take your place in the front seat and lay your head on the console and I would pet you and talk to you. You'd stay in the same position until we reached our destination or until we returned home. If I had to step outside the car, all I had to do was say, "stay". You were such a good boy always trying to please Mommy with obeying every command. You were so smart...you easily learned everything I taught you and how you loved your rewards of treats and praisings. |
Barney, you were my best companion and friend. You were my furry human. You filled my life every minute of every day with so much love and joy. I miss you so much. I see your sweet face with everything I do. I find myself calling your name in hopes that you'll appear before my very eyes. You have left such a void in my heart that no other can fill. I was broken hearted when you got sick with cancer and God took you Home with Him. Barney, you did such a wonderful job taking care of Mommy and in my heart I couldn't ask you to stay when you were feeling so poor and weakened. I needed to put your well-being first and let you go so you could be healthy and strong again, able to play in the fields with other doggies. I hope you have found both Duffey & Wally and the three of you are best buddies. Please tell them Hi for Mommy and I miss and love them with all my heart, too. You each hold a special place in my heart that you created for yourselves alone. I know the three of you are probably comparing stories...Duffey is talking about the fun he always had in our pool, surfing and playing with the kids. Of course, I can only imagine that both you & Wally are saying to Duffey---"You had a pool, we didn't have a pool". Wally is telling stories of how Mommy carried him everywhere and that I even stayed home with him to be a puppy Mommy. He's probably mentioning he was always dressed for holidays delivering special doggie treats to all the other doggies in the neighborhood. Most likely he only tolerated it to please me. But, he had Tikki, a parrot friend to play with and they had lots of fun together. And, you are telling them about getting to sleep in the bed with Mommy every night; while Duffey & Wally are boo-hooing "we never got to sleep in the bed; only until Dad got up and put us in bed with Mommy. And you are bragging that Dad couldn't make you get down and showed him--I'm an not leaving my Mommy. So many fun stories you are sharing with one another.
I know God sent all three of you to me to love and care for; and He especially brought us together knowing that you were all alone and so frightened as you walked along that highway shoulder until a Good Smaritian stopped and got you out of harms way and took you to an animal shelter. God sent me to you, for He knew we both needed each other. Even though I was looking for a little doggie I could carry~~~you captured my heart with your calm disposition, sweet face and loving eyes. We saved each other my sweet little buddy and best friend; and. I thank God every day for bringing us together. You showed Mommy every day how thankful you were for giving you a loving home. It was almost like you couldn't thank me or show me enough love and gratitude! Oh how I miss you every minute of every day, my sweet baby boy. You may not be with me in sight, but you are with me in my heart and spirit.
It's very hard and sad going on without you; but I trid to find comfort in knowing that one day I will cross the Rainbow Bridge and we will all be together again. Until that time comes, I want you to be happy, have fun and enjoy the beautiful meadows that the three of you are sharing together. You are my strong brave boy, so look after Duffey & Wally. As I always said to you whenever we had to be apart, you watch over the house--you're in charge...Mommy will be Home in a little while.
I love you "little buddy" forever & always!
10/21/19: Hello my sweet baby boy. It's 7 weeks tonight that you left my life. I am having such a hard time without you, I cannot stop the tears just thinking of you. It feels like you just left me as the pain worsens every day. Everything I do, reminds me of you. I find myself talking to you all the time as though you were there right by my side. Today I ran an errand and as I got out of the car, I somehow thought you were sitting in the passenger seat (your favorite place to ride) and even told you to watch over the car, Mommy will be right back. Tears ran down my face when I got back in the car and you weren't there. Every time I go near the spot you took your last breath, I think of that moment you left me. I'm as so full of guilt that I wasn't laying on the ground, hugging you and talking to you; instead of trying to move you back inside the house. Your last breath was agony for me sweetheart...I couldn't believe you were gone in that split moment. I miss and love you so much...my heart is broken and filled with pain. I have your ashes in a beautiful urn with your picture and paw prints and a candle that lights your special place every night. I talked to you and caress your urn many times throughout each day. I so hope you can hear Mommy. Even though I know your healthy and able to run and play with the other doggies and that God is taking care of you, I can't help but wish you were healthy and here with me. You will always be in my heart and I will love you FOREVER. Little buddy, I hope you like the song I'm playing for you because I truly am "Hopelessly Devoted to You"! Sweetheart, Mommy will send messages to you and I hope you send me some messages too. I long to feel you touching or nudging me like you always did or to see your sweet face. Goodnight baby boy and Sweet dreams. I love you, Little Buddy, with all my heart and soul. Love, Mommy
1/17/2020: Hello my sweet baby boy. I know Mommy has missed way too many weeks writing to you and I am sorry sweetheart. I hope you know there is not a day that goes by that you are not in my thoughts and heart. Everything I do reminds me you're not here with me. Every day, I wrap my hands around your urn, hoping you hear me talking to you. It's been 20 weeks without you by my side and still it feels like the day you left me. My heart hurts missing you so much. Barney honey, there will never or can never be another baby like you. Your devotion, your loyalty, your love, your constant need to be near me and watching over protecting me is unlike anything I have ever experienced. I constantly see imagines of your sweet face looking at me or imagine the feel of your pokes with your nose or paw on my leg or arm; and sadly I cannot reach out to hold, pet, touch and love you back. I was truly Blessed the day you entered my life. I know God saved you from an awful fate as you were walking along the side of Hwy 94 and He sent a good-Samaritan to get you out of harms way and take you to the rescue shelter. That's when He sent me to the shelter and even though I was looking for a small doggie, like a Yorkie, that I could carry around in my arms....you captured my heart with your sweet demeanor. God truly meant for us to be together! You constantly showed me how thankful you were that I gave you a home ...it was like you couldn't thank me or love me enough. In reality sweetheart, it was you that brightened our home, our lives with all your love and joy! You were a God-Send! There will never be another baby like you, for me. You hold a place in my heart that no one or nothing can touch!! Mommy is hopelessly devoted to you! I know with all my heart that God is watching over you while you enjoy playing with other doggies until the day comes when we are reunited and cross the Rainbow Bridge together. But until then, I will continue to send you these messages, hoping that you're hearing my voice say them directly to you. And, I promise not to ever let so much time pass between my messages. I don't ever want you to think I have forgotten you...that will never happen. I never want you to feel lonely, heart-broken or that I'm not nearby. I love you little Buddy, my sweet baby boy with all my heart and soul. Mommy wants you to be happy there with God and enjoy running and playing. I'm sending you a couple of your favorite treats (bone & French Fries) to snack on before bedtime. Good night sweetheart and have sweet dreams. Sending you hugs, kisses and all my love. Love, Mommie
3/15/2020: My Dear Barney, I hope you can hear my words and still feel the love I have for you. The other day, I had dozed off and was immediately awoken to the sound of your bark. I quickly looked around hoping you had come home to me, or even see a glimpse of your sweet face. Even though I couldn't see you, I knew in my heart you were looking in on me and letting me know that you were watching over me, just as you did every day. Sweetheart, I miss you terribly. People ask me all the time when I'm going to get another doggie. I'm not ready to bring another baby into my life because my heart has such a void with you not being here. You always wanted to make sure I was happy and even when I cried over sad movies, you were right there trying to comfort me. I know your love would not want Mommy sad and maybe someday my heart will be open to loving another baby, but I'm not there yet. But, sweetheart, don't you ever worry that I would forget you if I should get another doggie. That's impossible. As I've have told you, no other doggie could take your place in my heart. You hold a special place that cannot ever be penetrated. There could never be another baby like you for me. God sent you to me and me to you. So, I leave it in God's Hands if he has a special doggie that He wants a good home for, that He will bring us together, just like He did with you and me. I miss you so much, and the sorrow is still the same as the day you went to God. You were the perfect sweet baby in every way possible.
I've left you a hamburger, something you always loved begging me to share with you. So sweetheart, you get the whole burger this time. Also, thought you'd like a nice soft bed to rest upon; especially since it's getting warmer and may not want your blanket right now. So, you enjoy your tasty burger and then go run and play with the other doggies. Afterwards, you can come back to your new bed for a nice little nap and know Mommy was there for you, leaving you some little gifts along with lots of hugs, kisses, pets and all my love. I love you my sweet "little buddy" to the moon and back, infinity times infinity! Take care sweetheart, have sweet dreams and Mommy will visit you again soon! Love, Mommy