Bailey came into my life at seven weeks old and stayed with me for nine years and eighteen days, she slept with me every night since February 18th of 2003. She was tragically killed by another dog on January 20th, 2012 her injuries were horrific and I want to remember her as she lived.|
She loved the ball, any ball and would fetch and retrieve endlessly, she loved the beach and swimming pools, she was a great swimmer. Bailey would cuddle with anyone she got to know but mostly with her mum, she loved car rides anytime and any place, and was quite incredulous when she got left behind. Bailey was feisty and very vocal at times and incredibly loving and sweet. If a small child approached she would roll over and expose her tummy, she could be a little shy and only liked other dogs that she knew well. There were no dog parks for Bailey, but many long walks by rivers and parks.
I loved her more than I believed I had the capacity to love and I watched her sleep many a night, and her feet twitch with a dream or a whimper and wondered what was it she was dreaming? She loved to wake me up by nudging under my neck and then rolling over between the pillow and my face, crazy girl. If I said "come here" she would come over and flop down, she only learned come here in the last month of her life, for years I tried to teach her that! She was beautiful and spirited and filled my house with noise, and tennis balls, pulled toilet rolls and just "joy rising"!
This past Friday as they lay her bandaged and broken body down I whispered over and over I love you Bailey, mummy loves you and then they gave her the injection and I watched the light go out in her eyes and my journey that I was honoured to share for nine years and eighteen days was over.
I love you from here to eternity and I know I will see you again one day, I know it Boo. I love you and mummy will never ever forget you!!! I miss touching your coat, and smelling your tummy in the mornings always warm like toast, and feeling you snuggle up at night next to me. I miss your constant presence and spirit. I miss you more than I could ever imagined, my heart is broken Bailey......I LOVE YOU
February 16th, 2012
Its nearly a month since you left my side Bailey. What I have learned is a human heart does not break, sometimes it shatters into a million pieces. Each walk without you is a piece, each room you are no longer in, each chair you dont sit in, every car ride without you. Each small pieces of a shattered heart!!! What I have also learned is that memories and love sustain you, and the thought of you, of touching you , kissing you, snuggling with you all remind me of how incredibly blessed I was to share your life, to be the person you loved the most on this earthly plane. I love you Boo, I miss you and I no longer fear dying because I know you will be waiting for me. I asked for a rainbow on a very rainy dark day, and only for about five seconds one appeared it was only a few days after you left, so I know you are free of pain and with many friends. I love you Bay, I miss you and I cant wait to be with you again one day!!!
June 23th, 2012
Its 22 weeks since I lost you and I still miss you every day!! I feel your spirit and the other day I stopped fast at a light and a tennis ball rolled out from under my seat, and another memory came to me. I think of all our walks, and ball games. I lay in bed one night reciting all the commands and words you knew how very clever you were my darling.
Tomorrow is a year since you were taken from me, oh Bailey I have shed tears to fill an ocean! I feel your warm soft fur in my imagination, I smell your soft toasty tummy and I miss your "physical" presence all the time, every day. I did not get another dog Boo, I dont want one, maybe one day. I know if the time is right you will send the little critter to me. I dont miss having "a dog", I MISS having you!!!!
Every where I go on my walks, on my travels you are there darling, in my heart and I talk to you sometimes on my walks and then I will see something or hear a song and know that you sent me them to soothe me.
I have a memorial brick for you at Luscher Farms, and its in a wonderful spot and your name is there for all the world to see, you lived my darling, you loved so uncondtionally and your name is there!! You are not forgotten, it overlooks the fields and you would like it where it is.
Grandma came to visit and she said the house is not the same and its not your presence was everywhere and your naughty ways, and your passion for the ball, and for sitting in a ray of sun accross the floor, for racing up the stairs to beat whoever was going up, for jumping on the bed, for hiding when it was bath time. You do know when you would stick your head under the bed I could see the rest of you, you were not really hidden!!
I was in Italy and there is a wonderful church overlooking a beautiful town in the Northern Region, one day darling your ashes will be there, right now they are still with me. Not for one moment of one day have you been forgotten!!
I write to you sometimes and I feel you when I do, I feel those amazing brown eyes, soft with love and that wonderful spirit surrounding me.
Sleep well princess, run free and wait for me at the Bridge when its my time. I will find you.