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Memories of Autumn Leaf
12/7/21: You could never be outside without a leash. You knew you were naughty when we called you and you would stop, look back at us, laugh and take off. You can run and run to your heart's content now, sweet girl, with your brother by your side. I miss you, Batgirl.

12/7/21: You were a sweet, loving companion. Miss you.

12/7/21: My sweet baby girl, you have no idea how much I miss you. I miss the way you would jump half on the bed and wag at me, or how you would wrestle with Luke. I miss how you would roll over and expose your belly for 24-hour belly rubs. I miss how you would put your whole heart into high-fives and handshakes, ultimately always ending with belly rubs. I miss your pant laughing that always made you look like you were smiling. I miss your comfort. I miss you like there's no tomorrow. You're free now, and safe. I hope you're running until your heart is content with Apollo, and I can't wait until the day we are reunited. I love you forever, my sweet baby girl.

12/8/21: Autumn, I went outside this morning and there are tons of birds all over the property right now. I thought about how much fun you would have if you were here. I remember how you always wanted and tried to *play* with birds, not realizing own your size and strength. We miss you and Apollo so very much, Batgirl. Be good up there.

12/17/21: Luke won't lay down in your bed. He knows. You would have been so proud of him a couple days ago....he chased a bird and almost caught it. It was hilarious; he was completely airborne like Krypto the Superdog. I miss playing Christmas Bat with your beautiful ears which stood straight up and flapped like bat wings. Our special thing-you didn't let anyone else do it. Wish you were here.

12/18/21: You've been on my mind all night sweet girl. I'm remembering things, little things you did. Like how in the mornings when you wanted out, you'd nudge my hand or stand at the door and wag. Or how I could always hear when you approached my room when you wanted in. I miss listening for that. I wish you were here every day and night. I know you're okay now, reunited with Apollo and making tons of new friends, but I miss you. I hope you can hear me when I talk to you. I love you with all my heart.

12/24/21: Hey Baby. It's Christmas Eve already, I can't believe how fast this month has gone. I was thinking about you all last night, and all day today. I really wish you were here. It's been a fairly calm day. We've been making all the food for tonight. The tree is beautiful, there are lights up outside, and it even snowed today! You would love it, you always looked so pretty in the snow. Everything is so beautiful, I hope you can see it. I keep looking around the house in your usual spots where you used to lay, hoping you'll be there. I know it's a happy season, but I miss you so much. I love you, so, so much. You were always my best girl, so I need you to be my best girl up there. Go find Apollo and stay close to family tonight and tomorrow. I'll celebrate like you're here with me. Be good Autumn. We'll be together again someday, I promise. I'll talk to you tomorrow. All my love sweetheart.

12/25/21: Hi sweetheart. Merry Christmas! It's finally Christmas which I can't believe. It was a really good day today. Everyone had fun, there were good gifts and food, and Santa Paws even came, and brought goodies for your siblings! I missed you so much today baby. I was happy, but sad because it just feels wrong without you here. I still can't believe you're gone. I still feel you though, around the house or in my room. I know you're here in spirit, and in my heart. I want nothing more right now than to give you the biggest hug and nose kiss, but I can't, so you'll have to get some cuddles from Nami instead. I hope you and Apollo spent time together today and had your own little celebration up there with lots of love and cuddles. I know you're okay, but it still hurts. I miss you so much, my baby. Get some extra Christmas cuddles tonight, you deserve them. I love you so much, don't ever forget that. Merry Christmas, Autumn. I love you.

1/1/22: Hey Babygirl, Happy New Year! I'm sorry I didn't come on and write to you yesterday, we all had a really late night. It was pretty good though, happy. I can't believe it's 2022 already, it feels like a dream. I still really miss you. There are always small reminders around the house, in my room, in daily life that get me thinking about you. Not that I'm never not thinking about you, but you get it. I miss you. And honestly, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to navigate through this new year without you. Luke is still a good boy, and I know I still have him. He misses you too. We both do. He was sniffing your bed last night with great interest before he curled up on it. I don't think he fully understands what happened, but he knows you're gone. I hope your life up there is everything you could ask for and more. It's what you deserve sweetheart, you and Apollo both. Don't worry, I'll keep updating you here, and when I verbally talk to you. I think it's good for both of us. I'm sending you so many hugs, Autumn, and all my best wishes. Run until your heart is content baby and run some more after that. You're free. I love you.

1/3/22: Hey Autumn. I was just cleaning up your memorial a little bit. Christmas is over now, which is sad. I can't believe how fast everything went, but I promise no matter how crazy life gets I'll always make sure your space here is neat and updated. I added a blanket and a wicker chair. It feels surreal still, doing all this. In the meantime, just imagine I'm with you baby, sitting in the chair next to you. Or Nami. One of us will always be there, I promise. I have a shadow box with all your things, it looks really nice. It makes me sad, but it's nice having that space for memories. My heart still hurts. It hurts a little less maybe, but it still hurts. I try to stick to good memories, but sometimes I can't. I miss you so, so much. Luke misses you too. I hope you're proud of him, he's doing so well. Still a pain sometimes, but that's what we love. Say hi to Apollo and the others for me. I'll see you in my dreams. Love you.

1/6/22: Christmas was good but weird without seeing you sitting on the floor, patiently waiting for the treats Santa brought while all your siblings barked and went nuts. I missed Christmas Bat so much. I can still see your smiling face and the feel of your fur. You are never forgotten. You are with Nami and she is caring for you, which is so weird, because she was always afraid you would knock her over lol. I guess up there stuff like that doesn't happen. It has been snowing here. You loved the snow. Is there snow in Heaven, or is it warm with lots of flowers? Nami didn't like cold so I hope it's warm. Happy New Year.

1/10/22: Hey Autumn, I know in my heart you sent her. You are laughing. You are loved and remembered. She goes nuts for the nubbed squeaky bone just like you. Tell Nami to give you lots of belly rubs, and kisses, and Apollo too. Miss you.

1/22/22: Hey Autumn. Sorry it's been a while since I've spoken here. January is almost over, isn't that weird? I guess the year is going faster than it feels. I'm still missing you like crazy. There honestly hasn't been a day that's gone by that I haven't thought of you. Everything you owned is still in place, I can't bring myself to get rid of any of it. Still too painful I guess. Luke is small so my room feels really empty without you. Although he was comforting me this morning when I was sad, so I think he knows. I also think he misses you just as much as I do. The sun is out today which is a nice change of pace. I hope there's snow up there with you, I know you liked playing in it. Say hi to Apollo and the others for me, I miss them too. Don't forget I love you so much. And I'm sorry for how things happened. Be good, I'll see you again someday. Love you.



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