my sweet and soft hearted girl who was always there to make you smile to lick away your tears and try and sit on your lap cos to her she never was a rotty she was a lap dog. from the first moment i saw her, she walked straight up to me as if to say here i am dont worry about the rest and i listen and boy was she right. angel in heart now angel in spirit. i remember holding her close as my friend drove us home she was so quite i had to keep looking down to see if i was dreaming and yet every time i looked down there was my sweet girl just laying there in my arms like she was finally home. angel was home and made me so happy. we had very wonderful moments together and went i went into labor to have my son, she found a way to be apart of that to by stealing all my shoes, thankfully she never liked to chew the shoes, she liked to lay with them, this was the first time she had hid them all on me and it made me laugh. she love caleb the second he was brought home. she watched over him lovingly and as he grew she would play with him and when she was sick of playing she would come find me thou i was never far away and look up at me with those beautiful eye to say ok mum ive had enough i need to rest now. thou she would want him to lay with us till she was ready to play again. i miss telling people i have 2 kids but my eldest is a bit of a dog then watch there faces till they realise i was talking about you but for now it hurts to much to know your gone to bring it up and to know your not here but that doesnt mean your not my baby girl for you will always and forever be my baby girl. i still find it hard to seat in the kitchen to eat expecting you to slowly creep in poking your sweet head around the corner in hope to score some of my dinner which i would always laugh for i would tell you to stop it and then i would feel guilty as you looked up at me as if to say but mum, and i would cave and give you some. i didnt realise how much food i gave you till after you were gone. i always had heaps left over and didnt get why to start with. the night i saw you laying on the floor tongue hanging out i knew my world was about to stop ringing the vet 2 in the morning was the hardest call ive ever made. the drive to the vets was so hard my love, the vets words twisted bowel still ring in my ears, you knew i couldnt cope deciding whether to allow caleb to be woken and raced down to say goodbye, so you did the only thing you could to help me not to decide you took the choice away from me and started to drift away but sweetheart we didnt have enough time with you. thou i think i told you everything i wanted to say i know i said the most important things. "you are my best friend you are more than just a dog you are my baby girl and you did a great job and i love you my sweet girl you are now going to be my angel from above" then i watched and cried as you took your last breathes and watched my world crumble you are in our hearts forever more we love you rest in peace our boo boo thank you for picking me to be you mummy and caleb misses his big sister|
angel i dreamt of you again last night i still wonder if its you coming to visit me in a dream or my heart crying out for you so much that my soul gives me a small fix of seeing you in my sleep, the only hard part of dreaming about you even thou its sweet is its bitter sweet for when i wake you are not there to hug. i miss when you would crack it with me because i left to go out with you even if i was gone for a short time. when i would get back you didnt know whether to be upset or run and get pats im glad the pats won out most the time. if i was gone longer then you though then i had to win you over again you would look at everyone but me. i knew you were coming round when you would start looking at me out the corner of your eye i think the longest you held out was 5 mins it was so cute that you missed me so. even thou you were ment to be this big strong rotty if something scared you, you would come running to my side then hide behind me which always killed me with laughter my big beautiful baby girl i miss your big sloppy kisses, i miss holding caleb upside down and call you over and you knew it was time to smother caleb in kisses which i know caleb misses too. our hearts will never be the same till we meet you at the bridge. caleb(4) asked me the other day why cant we feed your ashes and make you big again cos he misses you to much, i was lost for words if only it worked that way my love.