Well Alexander I am so sorry what happened to you it wasnt planned and wasnt expected. I took time off from work to give you more time as I knew you were missing me because of all the time spent looking after Snowflake but I was too late. I knew your kidneys were failing but I never noticed until it was too late the massive growth under your tongue. You poor boy you couldnt eat anything the last 2 days you were so weak and you didnt understand. I miss you so much you were with me for 15 years you slept in my bed along side me as long as you were with me you were happy.
You helped me prepare your dinner every night and you followed me as much as you were allowed because as you know I had to separate you from the girl cats who you just didnt like and wanted to fight with. But you were happy with the area of the house you wandered you could always find somewhere nice to sleep in the day and sometimes you liked to sleep in the nursery that was safe and proteced but had all the benifits of outdoors. I couldnt sleep with you every night since we had all that trouble with Snowflake mum and I took it in turns so I know you didnt like that and didnt understand. I am so sorry I wanted to be with you but Snowflake was very sick. She still is and also she is difficult to care for as she always wants to go outside and thats when she can run off. She has had an awful start to life then she found a better home then she left that and came to live with us which really didnt work out that well for any of us because we had to keep the 3 of you cats separated. Oh Alexander if you had only just ignored them not attack them then I would have been able to be with you more especially at the end. I know it wasnt the same as where we lived before the three of you boys just had the best time together and you could go
outside. I know also you missed your Josephine very much that was such a shocked when she got sick
and I know you called for her every day at about 4.00 pm. Now you are reunited with Josephine and Simba I am sure they were waiting at the vets when he gave you that needle and you looked at me even though it wasnt like you used to look at me you had become so weak you looked at me then your eyes just closed and you went limp you had gone. I was devestated I cried and cried and cried. As the vet gave you the needle he asked what were your favourite things to do I said eating and being with me but you loved your Josephine. I imagined them waiting either side of you then pouncing on you as soon as your spirit was free and taking you to all their favourite places and trying to explain what had happened. Josephine was always there first she came to me first then a week later I picked you up so you and Josephine had each other as company and being brothers you remembered each other and loved one another. Simba our little stray who joined us a year later has been watching over us since he left I think he sent us Snowflake and I hope he watches of Christobelle. He would have given your face a proper clean as he hasnt been able to do it properly since 2005. I hope you liked all the things I did for your burial the flowers the unicorn ornament the special oils and spray I made for you with unicorn essence it was all I could do it was the last thing I could ever do for you. I sprinkled Josephine and Simbas ashes next to you as I couldnt before because we had moved and now I was glad I could put all three of you together even though the other two had been cremated. There urn lids are on top of your grave and maybe they will stay for a while then I will plant a gardenia there. I miss you Alexander I guess I will never have a cat like you again or it will not be you anyway like there will never be another Josephine or Simba or Thomas or Boots who went before you who you didnt know.
Please come to me in my dreams I have heard you call to me thankyou for that but I would love to dream of you occassionally and hold you tightly. Please can you watch over Snowflake and Christobelle they deserve the happy life that you and Josephine and Simba had at our other home. Christobelle has only been allowed outside this year for the first time well she decided that one herself so keep her safe she is five years of age but really is just a kitten. Snowflake is not out of the woods yet and I want her to know that people can really care for her and protect her. She really needs to stay inside as much as possible especially now she seems to have this terrible rash and sore eyes and she is scratching her ears or should I say where her ears use to be. Poor little girl she has had a lot to go through. Alexander I will never forget the life we had together the closeness we had your personality your soft touch your beautiful coat the way you couldnt retract your claws the way your love having your coat brushed. and when I walked passed your would try to stop me with your paw. but of course I miss you at night purring me off to sleep you preferred to lie along side me not at the foot of the bed but not with any bedclothes over you so I miss that most of all. The house is so quiet and empty without you and Christobelle and Snowflake now have the run of the house although they are cautious and dont really care now all the doors are open. Christobelle always wanted to be your friend and she does miss you even though you attached her which I think was because you were very jealous which I am sorry for but that was our situation what could I do.
I hope you are ok up there without me watch over us please all of use at the house your nanna looked after you and you knew how to get around her and your grandpa always bought you your favourite things to eat so you were never alone and always loved and cared for.
Miss you so much Alex my tiger cub I talk to you everyday come to me in my dreams love you so much Alex and I always wanted to be with you when I wasnt but we cannot always be where we want to be.
Dear Alexander this is the last day of 2010 and I miss you so much I loved my job before I went on leave but while I was on leave I could see how much time you needed me to be with you and the same goes for Snowflake and now at work it all seems so unimportant and meaningless and filled with people who may be sympathetic but I know they dont understand. But mummy has to work of course and I now leave Snowflake alone and she doesnt like it and Christobelle plays out in the back yard by herself which she doesnt like either. Both girls love company and I have noticed Christobelle has been developing some of your traits are you guiding her?? she is very sweet she doesnt understand whats going on in the house. She always wanted to be your friend but you were unhappy with them and chased them away but she looks around to see where you are she really wants a friend maybe you could watch over her all the time we are no with her because she is not a streetsmart cat. Snowflake has all sorts of health problems her rash isnt going away and her eyes are still a bit infected and when she scratches she bleeds so bad. I hope you dont think I am growling at you for not being nice to the other cats but you made it so difficult for all of us including yourself it was so hard separating you cats in different parts of the house. As you can see they are quite harmless and really just like you especially Christobelle but they would never have hurt you we could have all got along together. The house seems so empty without you and quiet. Christobelle does spend a lot of time near your grave which is strange as she wasnt outside when we had our little ceremony. but she seems to like to just potter around that part of the garden maybe she feels your spirit there. I know you missed me when I couldnt be with you at times but you have no idea how much I missed you when I wasnt with you I was worrying how you were coping were you sleeping were you upset I wasnt with you did you need me and of course none of the girls no how to snuggle in close and be a purring pussy cat that loves lots of strokes and cuddles. So it was very hard for me too but I always knew that it would be confusing to you because I couldnt explain things to you. So hopefully now you can see how difficult things were and are probably things are a lot clearer. There have been some beautiful words sent to us by people you can tell have that special bond with a cat or dog or any animal. Unique to animal lovers we go through this great loss but we have the greatest gift of all we have the love and bond with our special furchildren it makes everything worth it. Anyway I hope you and all your old and new family and friends are having the best time ever and remember we will all be with you one day. Love Siobain your mummy forever. My darling Alexander I guess you now have Snowflake up there with you and you know what happened. Please be nice with her make her welcome I am sure you have I am sure what was upsetting you down here has gone. You are now with Josephine and Simba which I know you needed very much. Do you visit me? I sometimes feel your presents at bed time did you know we have had visits from SNowflake she comes with a lovely perfume well its not lovely really its her smell she had when she was sick but its so nice that she is letting us know that she is with us. I am sure you are close by me too but I dont really know. Little Christabelle is becoming more friendly so I am hoping you can watch out for her. She has never lived on her own before so she has to get use to that. I also guess you realise how much Snowflake suffered I know you did too but I am hoping it was only at the end and that your life was as good especially when we lived in the other house with JOesphine and Simba. I cannot seem to get over the loss of both of you as its kind of the end of a long era with nothing to replace it as Christabelle is mummys pussy cat and she gives me some of her time but she doenst like being touched much at all so different from you. I miss you my darling please come to me in my dreams or give me a sign. Lots of people have sent lovely words to me because of my loss of you and Snowflake which I treasure so much as the people I am with every day cannot begin to understand my sadness. At the moment life goes on but its not much fun and there is no joy. I miss you my Tiger Cub you were my boy you were such a grand tiger strong and intense and lovely. until we meet again one day in rainbowbridge take care of all up there and watch over us down here including mum dad me Christabelle and little Bailey next door and their bird. Hello my darling Alex my tiger cub how are things in the spirit world? is Josephine looking after you? are you both alright?? is Simba there too?? Well you probably know that I have taken on two more pussy cats Valentine and Lucy Cub they are mother and daughter and have a special bond like you and Josephine had or still have. My heart still aches for you 3 and of course Snowflake. However these little girls are bringing love and happiness to my life in their own special way. They have taken on Christabelle as one of their own and I think she in her own little way needs and loves them. I give all three total freedom unlike for you and Snowflake I am so sorry I now wish I had given you access outside and just taken that chance you wouldnt try to find our old home. I do worry about the girls at night but they would be so unhappy locked up and I dont think I could ever do that again. Even Christabelle insists on her freedom which she never had for the first 5 years of her life. Of course its not the same they are independant and they have one another and there are times Lucy just is obsessed with Christabelle but they love me in their own way and are making themselves at home after an awful start to life. I guess I will never have another tiger cub like you again or the bond you 3 cats had with me and one another but as long as I know you are happy up there and you are together I can be happy with that. This year has gone so fast it all seems a blur really it all happened so suddenly and life was empty. The Snowflake left in February it makes it hard when I lost two of you so close together. Please enjoy your life now and watch over my 3 cats I have now. Maybe its for the best that they are independant and do not soley rely on me for love they have each other and do not need to get too close to me for both our sakes. I am hoping in time they will bond much closer with me and its so worth it whaterver the hurt afterwards. To get to really know and be so close is such a special connection and is unique to each fur family member. Take care my love I will add something to Josephines and Simbas and Snowflakes and Marigolds soon I hope you are all very happy there and please visit us often and keep an eye out for us all. Love forever forever forever forever forever and see you in my dreams and one day when I make that journey. I wish for one last hug from you but I do not know how to get it I wish in the morning or during the night when I wake up that you are lying beside me but you are not there and no cat is there and it will be like that for the rest of my life here and these girls will take my heart in another direction but still your heart in imprinted on mine like all my past fur children
love you so much I hope you are alright without me there looking after you all