The pain is still so new and I don't know how to ease the grief. My only consolation is that the sudden illness that took you can't hurt you anymore.

I didn't get nearly enough time with you, and I never expected to lose you so soon. I would have done anything to keep you and we tried so hard.

I never imagined that such a small, quiet creature could become such a consolation in difficult times. Caring for you was one of my greatest joys. You taught me how to not be afraid of bugs, to go out in the sunshine when it's warm, and to slow down and cuddle a dragon to sleep in the evening. You taught me the purity of love that only animals can give.

People sometimes laugh when I say you were perfect, but you were never trouble, never aggressive. Your only flaws if they could be called that, were that you were so picky about food and you would brumate in the winter, forcing me to be without you.

I'm trying to find people who understand my grief, and know that you weren't 'just a lizard', and fortunately, there are many. It doesn't fix anything, but it helps to understand that I am not alone in this. I know there will be others when I am ready, dragons are just part of who I am now, but as I promised you when I held you during your last minutes on this earth; you will always be my favorite dragon. No other dragon will make me love you less.

My sweet baby dragon. Wherever you have gone now; run, fly, remember me.

3/18/22

It's been a week. It hasn't really gotten any easier, and I still sometimes forget that you are gone. My mind still wants to look forward to going outside when the weather is warmer and still wants to hold you just before bedtime. It's getting easier to 'look normal' and go about my life, but inside, I am a wreck. It's hard walking past your enclosure and having it be empty, not seeing you perched on your branch or soaking up some warmth.

I know wherever you are is beautiful and warm, and that gives me some consolation. It's been cold and grey here in so many ways.

I miss you, my squishy girl.

3/26/22

Somehow I breathe a little easier, but I still get choked up when I try to talk about you. I still cry sometimes when I see your enclosure standing empty. Yesterday I sobbed when I remembered your sweet face and that I would only seen it in pictures.

I should have held you more, taken you outside more.

You will always be in my thoughts.

3/29/22

March has been a difficult month, and I wish you were here to get me through it. Just because you couldn't speak, or even know what I was feeling, doesn't mean that you didn't help me. Just having you with me helped soothe all my worries. Usually, you would just fall asleep on me, unaware of what I was going through, but you helped. I miss that.

4/06/22

Another wave of grief hit me today. Your enclosure is empty, and my brain sometimes thinks you should still be there. I miss you so, so much, my precious girl.

4/10/22

I'm going to try to go to your park this week since the weather will be nicer. There probably won't be any flowers yet, but I need to see. I wonder if I will feel your presence there. I'm managing a little better, but there are still so many things that remind me of you.

4/14/22

Trying to keep in mind all the things about you that made me smile, and there were so many. I know you didn't know how much joy you brought to me every day, and I hope that somehow you know now. Just coming home from a long day and seeing you there was enough to make me smile. The past few years were filled with times when it was hard to smile, but it was nothing that you couldn't bring some sunshine to. I hope that wherever you are, you are as happy as you made me every day.

May 1, 2022

My sweet Ember, It's a little easier to keep myself from crying when I think of you. I can smile at the memories, but the realization that there will be no new memories, or pictures, or moments is so incredibly hard. Maybe it always will be. I am so sorry that your little life was all too brief, and I wish more than anything that I could have had you with me longer. I hope you know that I tried so hard to keep you here and healthy every moment possible. I love you so, so much sweet girl and always will.

May 10, 2022

We adopted a baby, a male bearded dragon, and he is so different from you. I still think of you all the time, and how different you were as a baby, and I'm often very glad that you are not the same. No other dragon can replace you, but he does help me get through the days. He gives me someone to take care of, and something to think about besides the grief. My memories of you have not diminished and I wish every day that I could have you both happy and healthy and here in my life. <3

June 11, 2022

Today was hard. It's easier to get through the day-to-day, but sometimes everything comes flooding back, and I remember that this is not a temporary loss. I see old pictures and realize there will be no new ones. I see Blaze enjoying the things that you used to do, and it breaks my heart.

December 19, 2022

I still think of you all the time. Blaze is fantastic, but he has not replaced you. He's a different personality for sure! I miss you so much, sweet girl.