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5 years with Chloe
by Candy Polzin.........................................
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When I bought my first home, my first thought was that I could get a dog of my own. I always had dogs and missed the companionship so much. My townhouse allowed small dogs under 25lbs, there was no yard but enough room for a lap dog. I searched petfinder daily, looking for my special friend. One day I saw a cute, small spaniel type dog and I decided I had to meet her. She was timid and growled and showed her teeth as the man came to noose her with the leash. He said "are you sure you want to see that one?" I said yes, I wanted to see her out of the kennel environment. I took her outside and put her on my lap and she instantly relaxed, and smiled with a happy pant. My Chloe, I knew I had to save you. You were the perfect addition to my life, you even tolerated my very old cat. Papillon mix is what I decided you were, 15 lbs and about a year and a half old. There were many days of mischief as you were so bonded to me that your separation anxiety was terrible. I had to work and you had to stay home. My couches were torn and my carpet soiled most days until I started crate training. You loved me above all else. It is true about a rescue dog, you were so grateful to be saved that you were possessive. You only trusted me. You rarely let another person reach for you, it had to be on your terms. I tried to socialize you and took you to training, you were my fierce protector. Talk about jealous, you owned me and you needed everyone to know it. At home you were my silly, squirrely girl. If I laid on the floor you would lick me and roll your body on me. Everyone said you were scenting me so animals and people would know that I was yours, and you were mine. I took you to the dog park, but you were much too choosy with who you wanted to play with. I took you for walks at the park and all you wanted to do was mark your territory. I think you thought you were a boy sometimes. You were so cute that children wanted to run and touch you and I had to stop them before you snarled. You were just scared, not mean. Kids always did make you uneasy. Heavy walking, canes, running...you didn't want any of it. For a while my visitors couldn't even walk around, you would patrol them and follow them and jump if they tried to pet you. Your high pitched bark warned people passing by that you were there and to back off. Got me in trouble with the HOA that first year. Your medical emergencies from eating cloth and having intestinal surgery, and eating an energy bar with chocolate and having your stomach pumped kept me on my toes and my credit card in use. But I would do anything for you, you stole my heart. You saw me through the death of my old cat and you saw me through my darkest days with Cancer. When I felt like I had nobody in this world, you were there to remind me that I was loved. I don't know why I only got to keep you for 5 years. Why did your heart give out? It's only been a week since I lost you and I ache for you. I will never see a beagle without thinking how much you disliked them. I will never enjoy a meal without thinking of you barking at me while I was cooking to hurry up because you were so excited and knew I would share. I can't imagine making my lunch for work every day without you under my feet. I left my dish towel hanging from the oven and remembered how I never could, and if I did, somehow you would remember and come down and tear it up in the middle of the night. I will think of how you showed my new cats that you were the queen but you played with them and never hurt them. They have their toys all over and I keep thinking how you would purposely steal the one that they were playing with and rip it up. I think of how when I gave you a bone, you would carry it around whining, sometimes for days. You'd shove it in my face and want me to take the other end in my mouth or you'd try to find a hiding spot so me and the cats wouldn't get it. I think of how you took over the whole other side of the bed, even though you at most only weighed 20lbs. You laid like a person and made yourself comfortable. Every day I get ready for work, I will think of how you would turn down the bed again after I made it and curl up on my side as I showered. You sure rubbed it in my face that you got to relax while I went to work. I think of stuffing your kong every day to give you a present when I would leave. You went right in to get it, opening the door with your nose. You could always be bought off with some good food. I will never brush the cats without thinking how you acted like you didn't like to be brushed but would get so jealous when I brushed them that you would slink over and sit there and actually enjoyed it once I did it. Oh Chloe, I can't even watch TV without you. You were always there, always by my side or on my lap. When your knees started giving you trouble and you couldn't leap onto me or the couch or the bed, you would just whimper and play games with me as I tried to get you. You wanted to do it yourself and were so stubborn sometimes about me lifting you up. I miss my girl so much. The kitties have been looking for you, Milo keeps meowing in the voice he usually uses to call Piper. They wait by the dog door and then look in the kitchen. They can't understand like I can't why you aren't here anymore. Only 6 years old, why didn't we get more time together? I love you and I miss you so much. |
Comments would be appreciated by the author, Candy Polzin
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