Welcome to Bug's Rainbow Residency

Memories of Bug

My beloved Bud, you were with us such a short time, 15 months and we miss you so much. You were dealt such a bad hand with all of your pancreas problems and it seems so unfair. We know you are in a better place where you will not have to be sick and have the physical ailments that casued you to not grow and not be able to breakdown or absorb your food. I so look forward to the day when I see you at the Rainbow Bridge where you will be healthy and happy. I have cried every day for the 27 days since you passed and my heart is so broken. I am so sorry that this had to happen but I do treasure the time we had you with us to love and no cat has ever been loved more. I look forward to the day when I remember the good times with you and I can stop being angry and I hope to see a sign from you that you are there and that you are okay. Bug came to us in October of 2010 with her mother, 2 sisters and 1 brother. Luna, her mother came to our front porch as a feral cat and befriended my wife Nicole. Bug was the first to come in to our house and was so small that we had to bottle feed her. Over the next few weeks all of the kittens and Luna moved in to our upstairs where we raised them. By the time they were all about 12 weeks old we knew something was wrong with Bug as she was only about half the size of her siblings. At 4 months Bug was only about 1.5 lbs and we took her to our vet to see what was wrong. The vet put her on medication to get her to eat. This worked some as she made it to 4 lbs. We had her spaid at 8 months and they did some exploratory surgery to see if there was anything wrong with her. Once again the Dr. said she looked okay but was just small. She never wanted to eat and we had to always sit with her and talk to her and pet her while she ate. We thought she was finicky as the Dr. said she was okay. Bug stayed about the same for the next 6 months and we thought she was just a small cat. At the end of December we took her in for a checkup to a new vet as we had moved. He was alarmed at how small and skinny she was and sent us to a specialist. We took her to him on a Friday and he wanted full blood work done, which we did on Monday and it was sent to several places around the country to be checked. The specialist was not alarmed but was worried for a time down the road as she was so skinny but we always got at least one can a day of food in her. Between Monday and Wednesday Bug became very lethargic and on Wednesday she was very sick. We took her to the hospital. Bug passed away on Thursday of that week and the shock and sadness was overwhelming. We thought she was skinny but had never been led to belive by any Dr. she was in danger. We had a necropsy done on her at Utah State and we found that Bug had pancreas problems that kept her from absorbing food, thus as much as she ate she did not get the nutrients. She also had problems that did not allow her to break down her food. This was also complicated by Pancreatis which she had, had recurring episodes we had not known about. Bug passed away from scarring of the pancreas which led to her passing. We would have done anything for her if we had known anything was wrong. I feel like we missed signs and that our Dr.'s missed things and this is what is causing my anger at this time. Bug, was the cutest more loving little cat. She loved to get under the covers and snuggle at night and anytime a fly or spider was in the house she would light up and was always the first to get to them over her brothers and sisters. She gave me so much joy in her way too short life and I miss her more then words can say. We do still have 2 of her siblings and her mother and other sister are with my wife's sister and thus we get to see them regularly, but Bug was my favorite and the one who stole my heart. Bug, I will always love you. Bug, today it has been one month since you passed. Our hearts are still so broken and we miss you so much. I continue to cry every day and you are always in my thoughts. I hope you are doing well in your new world where you are free from the problems you faced here. We all look forward to the day we are reunited with you. We love you. 2/16/12 It has now been 6 weeks since you passed away my Bug. I am still going through an emotional roller coaster. Sometimes I am so angry at myself for not having done more to know you were sick and getting you help. Some days I think about how cute and fearless you were and how you never took crap from our other kids. But, most of all I miss you so much everyday and would give anything to have you wake me up in the middle of the night to feed you and keep you company or have you climb under the covers to cuddle with me or Nicole. I hope you are doing well at the Rainbow Bridge and the day will come when we are reunited. 3/5/12 Bug, it has now been two months ago today that we lost you. Not a day passes that I do not think about you and I still cry every day. The tears are starting to become fewer and the anger is not as bad as it was. I do miss you so much and I would give anything to have had things gone differently in your time with us. I still have not cleaned Bug's table where you ate and where we now keep your ashes and some of your toys. Your brother Bear keeps taking your sparkle ball that you loved, which has no more sparkles. I think back of you and Gracie, our blind and part deaf cat together. You were her only real friend in the house and I feel bad for her and for you that you do not get to be with each other, Nicole always called the two of you "Country Mouse" and "City Mouse", with you being the City Mouse and Gracie being our slightly over weight Country Mouse. 3/21/12 Bug, tomorrow will be 11 weeks since you went away. It seems the longer you have been gone the more I miss you and the sadder I become. The last few days have been so sad and my heart is so broken. I have been told more by Nicole about your necropsy results as she has researched them and it appears there was a lot more wrong with your organs then just your pancreas. You had spleen problems and it was like you were a house of cards waiting to go and I should try to be happy about the time we had with you. It is stange that such a sick cat purred and played up until a few days before you passed. Once again, I love you and miss you so much. 3/29/12 My little Bug, it is now 12 weeks ago that your beautiful little soul was taken from us. I sit here writing to you again with tears in my eyes. I look at your pictures everyday and watch our videos, which we have way too few and try to focus on your time on earth with us. It just seems that how much I do focus on this I miss you so much and I would trade anything to have more time with you. I hope you are doing well at the Rainbow Bridge and that you are happy, pain free and that you know how much you are loved and missed. 4/5/12 Bug, 3 months, 13 weeks and 1/4 of a year ago today you left this world. As I type this message I am crying and there is a place in my heart and in this house that is so empty. The weather has turned to warm and the windows are open. Nicole was saying how this was your favorite time where you could sit in the window with the breeze and catch the flys, spiders etc. that come in the house. Your sister Daisy has started to come out of her shell and be more social and Gracie has also become happier the last few weeks and cuddles with Nicole and she actually purrs which she has never really done to any degree in the first three years of her life. This day is so sad and as has been the last 92 days. You were and are the most wonderful little kitty and we miss you every minute of every day. I love you my Bug. 4/17/12 Hi my little girl. I just was thinking of you and wanted to say how much I miss you and how you are in my thoughts and my heart everyday my Little Miss Bug.... 4/24/12 Hi Miss Bug. I am sitting here in the middle of the night in Seven Springs PA on a work trip that my heart is not into. I am here thinking about you and how I wish you were home on the bed with Nicole and your brothers and sisters. Your sister Daisy did some things with her head when I petted her Sunday that made me totally think of you. She had never done that move with her head that I had seen and I was thinking it was a sign from you that you are okay and that we will see you and your beautiful spirit. I miss those big beautiful Bug eyes and your meow when you wanted food. We all miss you and love you my little girl. 5/7/12 Hey my girl, how are you doing at the Rainbow Bridge? It was 4 months on Saturday since your little body gave in to all your sickness. I had such a bad day coping with all the thoughts going through my head all day. I cried off and on all day and Saturday night I just really broke down. Nicole and I both have times when we doubt ourselves as to whether we should have seen more in what was going on in you and we should have gotten a second opinion. I wish I could have a do over on your time with us and it just breaks my heart not to have you at the house. I do know I will see you and we will be with you and your beautiful soul again, I just want to have you here with us now, my beloved Bug. 5/14/2012 Cutest kitten in the whole wild world it's bug.....bug.....Another week has passed and my heart aches as I think about you. I miss you so much and our house still feels empty without you here. I think back to that Friday we took you in to Dr. Simmons and how he said he wanted blood work but that he saw no iminent danger, maybe a couple of months down the road if we did not get you some weight on you. Six days later you left us and I am still dumbfounded. Dr. Simmons is supposed to be the best Vet in Salt Lake and supposedly the only board certified critical care vet. How did he get it so wrong. I must have been in denial as I really never thought you would not come back to us healthy as how could he be wrong? I wish I could have that week back and you could have stayed home and passed in your home and not a hospital. I feel we put you through so much during that week and now it adds to my broken heart. I hope you know we did what we did because we love you and we wanted you to live a long full life. I miss you my girl. I hope you are doing well in your new world and once again, the day will come when we are with you again. I love you and miss you so much my beloved Bug. Chris

Photograph Album
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