In tribute and memory of our Best Friend "Bailey".
Bailey is our baby boy, our pride and joy. I am in distress without him physically being here and so is his Mom "Pheobe" and will continue to be until our Lord takes me Home to be with our Baby Boy again. His soul has gone home to God, but his spirit remains with us. Where can I begin to do Justice to his memory and our short time on earth together. I pray to God to give me the ability to convey the magnitude of our relationship in these words to follow.
Where do I begin. Let's start with how smart he is,smarter than many people I meet. I rarely missed a day of our walks around the neighborhood and this is one of the times with Bailey that I will miss the most. Numerous neighbors would say to me as we walked that Bailey is the Best Behaved Dog in the neighborhood. I use to walk him without a leash, because he deserved to be free from a leash and he would obey my every word. So there was no danger to him or anyone else that he was not on a leash. Well that ended when some Jealous people complained to the association that I was walking him without a leash. So, I went and purchased a long rope leash. I think it is like 12 or 18 ft long. I hooked it to him and just let it drag on the ground. So, he was on a leash, I was just not holding it. One day a guy puled up on his bicycle and asked me to do him a favor because he had some people still complaining and if I could hold on to the leash. So, I said fine, but he could not leave it at that, he had to comment and say "there is a county law that you have to have him on a leash and have control of your dog" Well, then I let him have it - I said who the blankety blank are you. and I want you to show me in that law where it says that I have to hold onto the leash. I proceeded to tell him "I HAVE CONTROL WITHOUT HOLDING ONTO THE LEASH,HE WILL RESPOND TO MY EVERY COMMAND, BECAUSE OF OUR MUTUAL RESPECT,TRUST AND LOVE FOR EACH OTHER. IF I TELL HIM STAY, HE WILL STOP IN HIS TRACKS,IF I SAY "HERE" HE WILL COME TO ME". "Just because those others are jealous that they can't control their dogs, due to lack of Mutual Respect, is not my Problem! I proceeded to rattle off a few choice words to him as I then Dropped the leash and said "Let's Go Bai Boy"
Bailey would lay here next to me in our home office as I worked online, with the patience of a Saint. Waiting for the hours to pass when it would be time for our walk. He stood here with me in support, he was and still is my Partner. I was in the process of building a Home Based Business and he was here with all of his support. I have not worked on the business since Bailey Passed two days ago and I told myself that's it, I can't sit here and work without his support and I will give up building the business, but after reflecting on it - Bailey would not want me to quit, because then all the time he spent supporting me would be in vain. Time that we could have went up to the school and walk around the ball fields on the tar paved walk way. He was always so Happy to go there. he would run ahead of me and then stop an look back to see how far away he was from me and he would wait for me to catch up a little bit and then he would continue. If he got too far away from me I would say "Bailey Stay" or " Bailey Wait Up" and he would stop and wait until I caught completely up and was by his side before proceeding. My memories of his trust, respect an love, although should comfort me. it now brings tears to my eyes as I write these words. I am so Sorry, my Baby Boy,that I did not take the time to bring you there More Often. You deserved to go there Waaaaayyyy more times than I took you.
Also, my fond memories of our play time together. Again, Waaayyy Tooo Far & In-Between. I should have played with him MORE.Please Forgive me my Bailey Baby Boy!
You know we always think that we have more time. He was only 4 years young. Even though I realized in the past few years that none of us are guaranteed the next second, we never know when the Lord is going to call us home, His Mom and I now have experienced this first hand and it S*&^/s.
I would say" where's your toys Baby. go get a Toy and he would go and search for one or go to his toy basket and pick one out.. then he would look at me with it hanging from his precious mouth and say " Okay - see if you can get it from me" and I would chase him as he ran and jumped from his chaise lounge, to the Sofa and around the coffee table and I would say. I'm going to get you Baby Boy, give me that toy, I'm gonna get it, I'm gonna get it.. Then I would catch him, or he would let me catch him and he would be lying down with the toy in his mouth holding it with his paws and I would take both my hands and grab his head and shake it a little saying" Give me that Toy.. Give me that Toy my Baby Boy - and he would respond with a loving low toned growl as if to say, yea - no Way..
Update: 9/17/11 - It's been 1 week today since I could not fix Bailey. I know that this memory page is not the proper place for this, but here comes the Guilt: When we went in to say Goodbye to him after making the decision not to wake him up. You see when the surgeon when in he found not what he thought he would find. The mass in bailey was not anything he ever saw before - it was a mass of all veins entangled together - he said similar to a aneurysm and also that Bai had no Main artery. I forget the name of the artery, but it is the same as our carotid artery and that the body tries to re-route the blood to the heart. He NEVER saw anything like this and he could not fix him. I noticed Bai was still alive. I said to the surgeon "He is not gone yet, he replied " yes, I can wake him up and MAYBE HE WILL GET BETTER" I was in such shock and we already decided Not to wake him up, so I don't believe that registered in my Stupid head. well, maybe it registered, but I did not Act on it - the surgeons next words were " ..but I would not be doing the dog Justice, 'cause I can't Fix him and then he said that he would call the University on Monday and see if there was any case study of something like this, but that would not help Bailey.
Here is a song I wrote for you Baby Boy, last night on my way to get my tatto of you ...
Well, Actually the tune and the words escape me at the moment, but I remember the title, so let me
start from scratch...
No more tears of Sorrow
Only tears of Joy
For the times we spent together
and all the Love you gave me Boy
So,no more tears of sorrow
Only tears of Joy
I know you're still here with me
My Angel Baby Boy
No more tears of sorrow
Only tears of Joy
Each day that passes brings me
A day closer to Heaven my Boy
I only pray that I've been good enough
For the Lord to let me in
Through the Gates of Heaven
That he takes me home
Home to you my Best Friend
No more tears of sorrow
Only tears of Joy
Don't you worry bout me Bailey
You play in Heaven Boy
Spread your Angle Wings and Fly
Fly for me my boy
Until God Takes Me Home to you
My Bailey Baby Boy
No more tears of sorrow
Only tears of Joy
Let's add some Tears Of Love for you
My Angel Bailey Boy
12/09/11 - Sorry Baby Boy that I have not been here in awhile. I still take our daily walks as I promised. I think that I missed one day, but I know that you are with me and you know. I love you baby boy.. See you in Heaven..
01/29/12 - Hi Baby Boy. Wanted to let you know that your Mom will be stopping by soon to see you. I had to give her the password, because I changed it. Miss you, Love you.. see you soon. You have your Angel Wings now Fly Baby Boy Fly!!
2-10-2012 My dear sweet boy I can't believe it has been 5 months since you left us Sorry I haven't written anything until now. It has truly been a struggle to put one foot in front of the other and move forward. I miss you so much. There is no one to greet me at the door when I come home from work, no one to snuggle up close at night, no one to tell I love you and kiss their tiny wet nose before I leave for work. All I have are the wonderful memories you gave to me. You see four years ago I went in search of a puppy, I knew I wanted an Old English sheepdog. My loveable little cuddly puppy. Someone to keep me company and someone to love again. Joe worked nights and even when he was home he was glued to the computer. So I went on line in search of a girl puppy. That was only because I had never owned a male dog before. I always thought girls were more loveable. I searched and searched and I found your sister Arial, but when I called she had been taken. You were so darn cute that after each time I searched I kept coming back to you. I called several times to see if you were still available and I just couldn't resist I made arrangements to go and pick you up. I truly believe that God wanted me to choose you. We drove two and half hours to pick you up with difficult direction as the people did not speak English. When we arrived the man was waiting on the curb with you in his arms. I got out of the car and he placed you in my arms. I fell in love with you at that very moment. You cried on the way home and I sat in the back seat to keep you company. I was all prepared for you when you got home with your leash, collar, create and even home cooked meals. You were the baby and I was going to take care of you. Well you hated the create and cried all night. I even brought you close to the bed and hung my hand through the bars all night. The next night I brought you in bed with us and that is where you slept forever. The create thing didn't last very long either, you simply hated. You were so full of life and everyone just loved you. You were truly the best dog in the neighborhood. In the beginning Joe wasn't that crazy about you. I would take you for your walks, or should I say you walked me. You were very strong. When Joe went back to Jersey it was just you and me. You became the man of the house. When he returned six months later the two of you bonded and he started taking you for your walks. That became your time with him. Oh Bailey we had such great times together, we went on several road trips and every time we stopped a t a rest area everyone just loved to stop and talk to you. I remember the trip from Tennessee to Jersey I asked if you had to go potty and you barked and I said I would stop at the next exit so you could go. When I passed by the exit you sat up and barked as if to say you promised you would stop. You were just so smart. Mommy would take your picture all dressed up for the holidays and you would just sit there. You had Birthday cake and I would sing Happy Birthday to you. I could never find a birthday hat to take you picture. This year on your final Birthday you had a hat, candle on your own cake and Mommy sang Happy Birthday to you for the last time. You were so full of life, so how could you be sick and no one knew. . We went on our final road trip on August 5th. You weren't feeling well about the second week and I thought you were home sick. We left a few days earlier to make the trip home. The day after we came home I took you to the vet, he said it was just from the trip and it would take a few days to feel better. Well you never got better but you sure were a trooper. They say you should have never survived after birth, but you did and you were my little boy and I so miss you. So my dear sweet Bailey until we meet again you play and have fun, because I know you are free and are no longer in pain. Know that Mommy misses you very much and maybe the pain won't be so bad in time. Rest in peace my little boy Bailey <3.
Just wanted you to know Bailey that your mommy misses you very much today. You are my baby boy and should be with me today on Mothers day. You were the best and I miss you so much. I need a new you to keep me company and I know you would not want me to be alone. I am so afraid of not finding a little man that will be as loving as you were. So when I am ready I want you to guide me in finding the perfect little fellow. Always thinking about you my love. Miss you so much<3
Hey my little man, just wanted to stop by and tell that my birthday just wasn't the same without you. I miss you so much it hurts. The memories we share will last a life time. I talk about you often and still can't believe that you are gone. I do hope that you are having fun in heaven. Keep my dear friend LeAnn company and I do hope you have made friends with Rusty. I will start looking for a new little you in the fall, remember I will be waiting for your help to find that perfect little fellow. Miss and love you till next time XXXOOO. <3 Mommy
Just stopped by to wish you a Happy Birthday. I missed you so much today. I hope you heard me singing to you this morning. Hoping you had a fun day playing. I still miss you so very much still can't believe your gone. Was looking at your pictures from your last birthday, you looked so cute with your little hat and your cake. You sat so still while I sang Happy Birthday to you. Life with out you will never be the same again. Miss you everyday my sweetboy. Here is a big hug and kiss to your sweet little nose. Love you till next time XXXXXOOOO<3 Mommy
Hello Baby Boy. I've been trying to get here for some time now, but was locked out. Forgot the password. Anyway, I am here now and I am in Tears after reading your Mommy's note above. I know that you know, how much she loves you and misses you, as I know, that you know, I do also. I try to do our walk eery day, but you know that I've been missing a few. You know that I will continue to talk to you Everyday. Please don't worry about me when I Cry because I miss you So Much. Remember how you use to come in and nudge me when I was upset while working in the office, as to say, stop it, I am here, everything is Okay. Thank you for that , Baby Boy!.. So, don't worry about me when I cry. I am okay. I miss giving you your massage every day, I miss your Hugs, I miss you greeting me at the door when I come home. You never, ever let me down, YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE FOR ME. You fought hared as I asked you too, especially on our last walk together. nO ONE KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED ON THAT WALK, BUT YOU, ME AND GOD... I really thought that you were getting better. Some may think that this next request is weird, but I don't. .. Please pray for your Mommy and Me.. I know how you tried to Help US. ..and save me a spot next to you in Heaven .. that is, if God let's me in. A big part of my Heart & Soul is missing without you physically here, but I know that your Spirit walks beside me Every Day. . Fly with all your might up in Heaven, now that you have your Angel Wings. You were an Angel here on Earth. One day you will look up and I will be there. It won't be long Baby Boy. I am in my older years now, and I will be with you soon.
Hey my sweet little boy. On my way home for a short vacation in Jersey, you like the one we took last year at the same time. Only this year I had to make the trip without you. I did take your blanket and you sat in the front seat next to me. I can't believe it has been almost a year since you went to be an angel in heaven. It has been a very hard year for me. I still miss you so much. I have been looking for a new little boy to fill the empty space since you have been gone. I know when the right one comes along you will help me choose the special little fellow. Has to be a boy as you were the most loving little fellow and I want one just like you. You will always remain in my heart forever. Miss and love you so very much Bailey. Always on my mind and in my heart. love you mommy <3
Hello Baby Boy.. Today marks one year since you got your Angel Wings. Your mother and I miss you more than words can ever say.Only I know how much she is hurting, because besides me she is the only one who truly knows you. Please pray for her as I taught you to do.. and save us a spot next to you up there. Don't worry about us Baby Boy as you did when you were here (you know what I mean). Things happen for a reason, so they say, so, don't worry Baby Boy. We will be with you when Our Lord calls us Home. You know that you have all of our Love ALWAYS.
Hey my little sweet man. I didn't stop by on the year anniversary of your death, but I did however think of you all day. Mommy was at a funeral for Mr. Hoptay. You remember him when they came for Thanksgiving a few years ago you jumped right in his lap to say hello. He is an angel in heaven just like you, so keep him company for mommy, cause he is a very special man.Missing you doesn't get any better, I will always miss your sweet face and your wet little nose as I kissed you good-bye every morning. There is no one to greet me at the door when I come home from work at night.What I wouldn't do to hug your furry little again. Still missing my boy. Love you Mommy XXOO <3
Hello Baby Boy. I am sorry that I have not been here in awhile, especially that I did not come here on Thanksgiving Day. That does not mean that I was not thinking about you. Well, I don't have to tell you that because we talk every night. I thought that day on Thanksgiving about you lying under the table by my feet waiting patiently without begging, because you were so good and you knew that I would give you a little taste of the Thanksgiving food. I am thankful, not only on Thanksgiving day, but every day for the unconditional Love that you gave. You know that I have been considering adopting to save a dog's life, but it is soooo hard, my Baby Boy. I cry when I think about it, because I don't know if I have it in my heart to connect with another soul. I know that you would want me to do that, but so far, I just can't. Please pray for me and ask God to give me the strength to save a life. I know that you already know that I have not been doing Your Walk. I missed a day here and a day there, and now I stopped all together. I should never have stopped, because now it is so hard to start again. I thought that it would be therapeutic for me, but it just really hurts. Well, Baby Boy, I am sorry about that, but don't you worry. I know that you ALWAYS worry about me and would never leave my side. I know that you are with me all the time just behind that thin curtain, watching over me. If not for that I believe that I would cease to exist. The love you gave to me helps me to go on... THANK YOU.. I will see you when I get there... It won't be long now! I LOVE You, ...
Hello sweet boy. Can't believe it is 2013 already.I missed you on the Holidays so much, glad I worked so I wasn't home were all the great memories of you are. I thought of selling this place, but I don't want to leave you behind. Hope you are having so much fun. Will life ever be the same without you. So much has changed over the past few years I don't know my life anymore. I do know how lonely I am without you. Maybe during the spring I will search for a new puppy to keep me company. No one could replace you, you were simply the best. My little boy. All those nights you were taken out of my room only to knock on the door to let you back in. You always wanted to be close to me and I love you for that. Remember to take good care of grandpa when he comes home. Stay by his side as you did when he visited. I know you will take good care of him. Thinking of you always. All my love baby boy,.XXXOOO Mommy
Hello my sweet boy. Can't believe that it is three weeks since your grandpa came to be with you. I hope your are keeping him company and teaching him all the ropes. Say close to him just like you did when he came to visit. I was very hard on
mommy sitting by his side for a week and a half just watching him slowly die. He was begging mommy to give him something because he was suffering so. I am thankful that I made the choice not to let you suffer like that. So much has happen in the past few years and you were the best thing for me. Mommy will never be happy again and life is just not the same. But you know that don't you. Well you take good care of grandpa for mommy until we all meet again. Love you and miss you XOXOXO.
Hello Baby Boy
It's been awhile since I've been here, but you know that I talk to you everyday. You came to me in a dream the night before last but I am not sure of what you were trying to tell me. So, if you can visit me again, that would be great.
I read the note that your Mom put here and yes it is very sad that we have lost your grandpa here on earth. You be sure to hang around with him up there. I often think of all the times up at his house when Family gathered with each other. Those were the Good Old Days. I was thinking of him just the other day and it brings tears to my eyes that we don't have him anymore, but you do Baby Boy. Your Mom said that she will never be happy again and that saddens me, but I know what she is talking about. So many of our Loved ones have passed from here and it's no longer the same life that it was. Time actually is flying, so, as I tell you every night, it won't be long now. Another day gone, another day closer to You.So, you save me that spot next to you, Okay?I am not same either Baby Boy. I lost part of me when I moved away from Family ( which only a couple of people understand) and the rest of me left with you.
You remember your brother Tim. Well he just got married and I am so Happy for him. He as been wanting that for a long time now. I pray that he does a better job at marriage than I have. I don't know how much longer I am going to be here in this place that you remember as being your home, but I will talk to you everyday and night from wherever I wind up. I am sorry that I missed talking to you a few nights when I was home in Jersey for Tim's wedding. I have so much on my mind pal, so please pray for me like we did when you were physically here.
A lady up at Publix keeps asking me if I got another dog yet, and I keep telling her that I never will. I am sorry Baby Boy because I would like to rescue one. I just can't seem to do it. May God forgive me because there are so many being put to death each day. Well, I could go on and on, but going to stop for now. Talk to you later.
I Love and miss you so much.